Okay… This is my first attempt at an Avengers fanfiction. I do not write a lot, so uploads may be sporadic. Also, I have no idea how to submit something for beta-ing, so my stories are un-beta'd. If you haven't already been scared away, here is the result of my boredom in Lit class. Thank you for your time! =)
Clint padded softly down the hall, keeping close to the walls to prevent shadows and the occasional creaky floorboard from betraying him. This hit would undoubtedly be his hardest, and … well, he wasn't keen on picking out headstones and epitaphs quite yet. Clint realized that he would need a fair bit of luck to pull this off, and his target was freaking unstoppable when she was angry.
A slight draft whispered down the hall: faint, but enough to make Clint shiver slightly. He was barefoot in shorts and a sleeveless shirt, and the Avengers Tower was friggin' cold in the early morning. Clint thought again of his target. Natasha quite frankly terrified him when she was mad, and he had to take her out. With a freaking water balloon. The water balloon, of course, being filled with raspberry jam.
First things first, Natasha didn't sleep, she waited. Clint laughed silently to himself while attempting to imagine a female redhead Chuck Norris. Second, Tony had already switched Cap's deodorant with cream cheese, leaving only Tasha to prank. Clint didn't want to so much as touch Thor's pop tarts, and surprising Banner was just a bad idea. Which meant that third, Ronamoff would be ready. She knew about the competition between Tony and Clint, and she would be ready. She always was, wasn't she?
Clint thought back to when he had first met her in Budapest. Still a Red Room assassin, she was more paranoid than he was. He still didn't know why he was surprised when she had no less than six traps guarding her room alone. He still remembered every detail of that mission. The bleak walls. The faint smell of something or another burning. The expression on Nat's face that was cold and pained at the same time.
Clint jolted back to the present and hefted his projectile. He contemplated for the fourth time taking to the ventilation system, but knew that Natasha would somehow be monitoring the one vent in her room. She would be expecting him to be stealthy. Therefore, Clint decided to initiate Phase One (Attack) as obviously as possible. He quietly and quickly picked the lock on her door. Throwing it open, Clint chucked the jam-filled balloon towards Natasha, who was, of course, awake.
Phase Two began immediately. "BARTON!" Clint turned around and booked it. Natasha vaguely resembled a rabid bear, albeit a very graceful bear. Shitshitshitshit! Romanoff was gaining on him much more quickly than he expected. Almost there… Clint stopped suddenly and turned to the side, attempting to trip the Black Widow. Trip the Black Widow. Obviously, it did not work, but after a brief struggle, Clint managed to push Romanoff down the Slip 'N Slide he had set up on the stairs. Fortunately for him, she actually fell. Unfortunately, she grabbed his leg.
Clint and Natasha rolled down the watery sheet of plastic and soap much faster than Clint had expected. Romanoff only had time to splutter, "You –" before the pair landed in the box filled with flour at the bottom of the stairs. Steve, always an early riser, ducked out of the kitchen with his mug of coffee. He shook his head resignedly and walked away. Clint turned and almost ran into Natasha. Her once-red hair was dripping and coated in flour. She looked really patriotic, what with her blue pajamas covered in red jam and white flour… She was apoplectic.
Clint had seen many things. He had been on many missions and encountered many evils. He had been controlled by Loki and had helped stop an alien invasion. He had even faced down an angry Hulk once or twice. Nothing even came close to being as terrifying as an angry Natasha.
Clint turned back around and started running.