I know what you're thinking. "Where the fuck have you been?¡". Well, it's pretty simple actually. Games and porn. When it comes to RPG's I get lost in them, which is why I have never play, and probably will never play, Skyrim. You would never, ever see me again. Well, it wasn't Skyrim, but a game I picked up a year ago named Fallout 3: Game of the Year edition. Yeah, good times. And, of course, I had to go once through as male and once through as female...and once through as evil male, and once through as evil female..you get the idea.

As for porn, not so much looking at it, as making it. I've been over on Writing adding chapters to Jedsho123's interactive story "Naruto Femdom Stories" (It helps to Google it). If you're into that kind of thing (I am into almost everything), look it up and, for the love of God, contribute if you're good with a keyboard.

Now, onto the story. It's a long time coming, and I have no RPG's in my sights right now...except Fallout:New Vegas...maybe I'll get the PC edition so I can add mods...heh.


Ah, Saturday. there were alot of shinobi who didn't even recognize a weekend, or a day off for that matter.

They were the ones that burned out within a decade.

Rest was as important as anything else. To catch up on hobbies, or sleep, to clean around the house, or to figure out why your plant looked like it was on the verge of death. Honestly, why did Asuma give her this thing? She was the killer of plants.

Fortunately, there was a knock on the door to distract her decision to throw the plant in the garbage and be done with it. She walked up to the door and opened it up.

There was Naruto, fidgeting in the clothes the farmer had given him.

It took a second for Naruto to shake off the surprise of seeing Kurenai in civilian clothes rather than her usual attire.

"Uh, good morning Kure-sensei. I was wondering if you knew any clothing stores that would let me buy from them?", He asked uncomfortably.

Kurenai quirked an eyebrow," What's wrong with your old clothes?".

"Well, I took them to the laundromat, and by the fourth time, they still stunk as bad as when I started..."


"...then the other people formed a mob, grabbed them, threw them in a trash can, and lit them on fire"


"...then started to cheer"


"..then the sprinklers went off"

Kurenai kept her face in her hand as she tried to hold it all back. It was never a dull story with Naruto.

"Yes, I do know of one. But it's outside of the village", she replied once she regained her composure.

"Oh" he replied in disappointment that confused Kurenai.

"It doesn't mean I won't take you there"

Now, it was Naruto's turn to be confused, " Wait, you mean we can go out of the village, even if it's not a mission?¿".

"...Noone told you how it works?", Kurenai asked redundantly, gaining a shake of his head. She beckoned him in before starting, " Shinobi, chunin or higher, can leave the village, when they are off duty, so long as they sign out and are back before they are supposed to be back on duty. For genin under a sensei, they either need to be escorted by their sensei, or have proven themselves trustworthy enough to be able to go out on their own", she explained as she gathered things up.

"What happens if you're late?

"You're listed AWOL. Away WithOut Leave", she elaborated.

"That can't be good"

"It depends on the severity. Anything from a warning to jail time."


"Just don't be late. But then, you won't have to worry too much about that until you're a chunin", she finished as she put the purse she packed on her shoulder.

She really looked like a civilian now. He diverted his stare to something else to not gawk and caught something else.

"Uh, Kure-sensei, why do you have your fern in the sunlight?", he asked, pointing at her plant.

Kurenai looked at him in confusion,"Because it's a plant".

"Well, yeah, but it's a shade plant. They don't like direct sun."

Kurenai looked from him, to the plant...then walked over and pushed it's table away from the window and into on of the corners.

It couldn't be that simple...could it?

"...Alright, let's get going, but first-", she took his headband off and put it in his hands. "You only represent Konoha on-duty. It keeps complaints down if there's any rowdiness or the like. Plus, people tend to take a dislike towards ninja", she explained as they made their way towards the gate.

"Scowls in the village, scowls outside the village", Naruto lamented.

"Like I said before, they have a legitimate reason, unlike the people in here. But the villages closer to Konoha tend to be less about wars...and more about property damage and public disturbances from drunk ninja", Kurenai admitted. Sure, they could get drunk IN the village...but there were no chances of getting manhandled by Anbu and thrown in the drunk tank if they got rowdy outside the village.

After signing out, they took to the...road...at a leisurely pace...for a ninja anyways.

"Why aren't we running there, Kure-sensei?"

"It's only an hour and a half walk. Why? Do you have something else planned for the day?"

Naruto shook his head, " No. I just figured you'd want to get it over with quicker".

She smirked, " Why Naruto. You sound as if you're trying to get rid of me as soon as possible", she teased. She knew what he meant, but decided to turn it into a lesson.

"Not at all! It's just, I figured you wouldn't want to spend all day over something like my clothes".

"And, yet, I'm the one that decided to walk. There's a lesson to be learned here, Naruto"

Naruto looked at her in confusion, " There is?"

"Yes there is, in concerns with how to read people. In this case, like if you were on a date"

Naruto's reaction was priceless, " W-what?¡ A date?¡"

"You do intend to go out on a date sometime in your life, don't you?", Kurenai poked.


"Then this is the first thing to remember. Never rush on a date or look like you want to. It portrays that you have something better to do than spend time with them, which will send the wrong signals to them"

"...So, plan the whole day around the date?"

"Precisely. If they didn't want to spend time with you. they wouldn't have gone on the date in the first place. And, if, by some chance, they do, and they show those signs, you'll know they're not actually interested."

"Can do...wait, so you mean this is a date?", Naruto asked in confusion.

"A platonic one, yes...That means non romantic", she clarified.

"Ah...got it...*snort*"

Kurenai looked at him strangely, " What's so funny?"

Naruto waved a dismissal, " Ah, n-nothing. Just one of my clones popping to send me a signal. I'll-hah..I'll show you the video later."

Kurenai's eyebrows went up. Video?

*Back in Konoha*

Three clones sat, hidden, on the rooftop across from Anko's apartment building. One of them with a video recorder. Finally, Anko showed up at the building with her posse.

"Showtime. Alert the boss", the leader directed to one of the others, who snapped a salute and dispelled.

*With Anko*

"Just a quick stop and it's back to the bars guys!", Anko whooped, still a little flushed and tipsy from last night...this morning.

"Pah! Good! Immer gunna drink ya under the...flat..thing...again! Mauaybe then I cannnn get thooose pervy images ou-ouuuu-outta my head", a drunk Uzuki slurred as she leaned on Hayate.

"Haven't you had enough?", Genma aked.

"Hella nope!"

"That's the spirit! By the time we wake up, it'll be Sunday night!", Anko whooped. She then unlocked her door and opened it up.

A large shadow greeted her.

With precision, she jumped out of the way and against the wall to protect herself from the threat.

A donkey heehawed and trotted out of her apartment.

Pure confusion played on her face...until the donkey trotted past her and she saw the advertisement drapped over the donkey...and went blue.

"Anko's Donkey Show!". Underneath that, it read, " You really WON'T believe it!".

Anko's posse gawked as the donkey passed them too, then looked to Anko to see her horror quickly turning into rage.

"I'm going to kill him. I AM GOING TO MURDER THAT LITTLE TWERP!", she roared to the heavens, as fire burned in her eyes.

Genma saw another problem.

"Hey, Anko. Your donkey friend is getting away", he said, pointing to the donkey that had somehow gotten down two flights of stairs and was now getting away from the building.

"HE'S NOT MINE...", and then she realized what that meant, " Wait! Come back!", she cried, running after the donkey.

Half of Konoha saw that ad before she finally caught up to that surprisingly fast donkey.

Clone leader popped the tape out of the recorder and handed it off to the other clone, " Copy it, and hide it", he instructed between snickers. The other clone snapped a salute and was off.

*Back with Naruto and Kurenai*

"So, what's the second rule, Kure-sensei?", Naruto asked to clear the air.

"I'll teach them to you as the day progresses", she replied as they leisurely made their way to the next town. A while later found them reaching the desired destination as they stood outside of a tailor's clothing store.

"Rule number two. This one really depends on the girl, so it can either be a good thing or a bad idea. Being courteous. HOld open doors, pull out chairs and the like", she advised.

A second later, he opened the door for her.

"I didn't say I was that kind of girl", she retorted in amusement.

Naruto shrugged, " No. But you look like it", he countered.


"In this case, you're right", she admitted as she walked in, " And that's what you'll have to go by. For girls like Ino and Sakura, most likely holding the door open is a good idea. For a girl like Hinata...you might find her opening the door for you. Now, for a girl like Tenten, who, I assume, doesn't like chivalry in large doses, it would be more prudent to just let her go first and open the door for herself".

"Are you here to do business, or do you just have an unhealthy infatuation with my door?", the tailor asked in deadpan. Both ninja looked sheepish before approaching the counter.

"Yes, actually. My young charge here needs some clothing made. You've decided on a style, right?", she asked Naruto, hinting at something.

"What's wrong with the way my old clothes looked? Wait, it's the orange, isn't it?", he asked defensively.

Kurenai shook her head, " No. I don't care if they're orange. Look what I usually wear. Like my father used to say, " If you're depending on your clothes to hide you from the enemy, they already see you. That being said, those clothes were still hideous", she admitted.

"They were not!", Naruto pouted.

Kurenai decided she needed to drive it home, "Make a clone, and henge it into your old outfit".

Naruto did just that.

"Beeeghck! It's so ugly, it's fugly", the tailor stated crassly, causing Naruto to stumble over himself.

Kurenai pressed on, " Let's start from the top, such as that white collar. It makes your head look like a cupcake popping out of it's wrapper".

Naruto choked," It does not!", he cried out, but the clone had other ideas. When Naruto looked back, the clone had it's head in the coat up to the hairline.

God, it did look like a cupcake.

The next moment, the clone pushed it's head out.


Naruto slumped as he heard chuckling behind him.

"Then theres the blue. Orange and blue isn't a very appealing color combination, unless you're a venemous amphibian. Orange and black is a more appealing and intimidating combination"

Naruto huffed as he crossed his arms, " Well all I could find was blue when I sewed it on", he argued.

This surprised Kurenai even more, " Wait, you mean you made these?".

Naruto shook his head in the negative, " They were old prison uniforms I found. I just added a few extra things".

"So, where did you get the patches?", she asked, looking at the swirl patches that usually only chunin, and above, wore.

"Jiji gave me those so I would "Look more like a shinobi, and less like a convict", Naruto quoted.

"I s-see...So then, what is this thing for?", she asked, pointing at the object on a tassle, underneath the shoulder patch on the clone.

Naruto scratched his head, " I'm not actually sure. I thought it was a marker, but it wasn't. It's just...there", he admitted.

Kurenai decided to just get to the conclusion.

"So, in the end, the clothes got the job done, but were still unattractive doing it. And now you're going to let me pick out the design for the next set", she declared.

...Well it was Kure-sensei, and he trusted her this far.

The next half an hour was spent making the clone rehenge a different feature everytime onto the existing outfit. By the time Kurenai was satisfied, and the tailor declared it "not as fugly", it was definitely different. Kurenai told Naruto to order a set of seven, which the tailor informed would take about six hours to make.

As fast as that was, it still left them with alot of time to kill.

"So...what are we going to do for six hours?" Naruto asked as they left the store.

Kurenai gave a ghost of a smirk, " Well, first we're going into that store", she proclaimed, pointing at...another clothing store?

She could see the utter confusion on his face, so she decided to elaborate.

"You have no casual clothes whatsoever, do you?", she asked rhetorically, knowing he didn't.

...He better not have, considering what he wore yesterday.

"Uh, not really. A couple white t-shirts that would go down to maybe the end of my ribs, and a few pairs of shorts that are so tight and small they're more like short shorts." In other words, his clothes he wore as a kid.

He had enough of a hard time finding and modifying outfits for ninja duty, let alone casual wear.

"Well then, now's a perfect opportunity to get some"

Naruto fidgeted, " I don't know if I'll have enough money for that".

Kurenai was unperturbed, " Just pay me back whenever. So long as I never see you in that outfit from yesterday again"

"Can do, Kure-sensei, though I was thinking of keeping it, since Hinata-chan likes it so much"

"Of course she does", Kurenai mumbled as she entered the store after Naruto opened the door.




Well, this was a new thing for Naruto. Try on clothes and come out of the dressing room to be scrutinized. And since it was mid day, and there were no other customers, the shopkeeper decided to help out as well.

Which means he was feeling twice as awkward.

Did this kind of stuff usually happen?

"I don't know. Both the black shirt and the white one looked good", Kurenai commented to the shopkeeper.

"That's the trouble with blondes. Alot of colors look good on them. I have an idea", the shopkeeper declared as she went and grabbed something and came back, "Black pants, white undershirt, and a light, black jacket", she stated, handing him the jacket.

Already knowing the drill, he put it on over the shirt he was wearing, before being scrutinized again. This time, it ended up being a nod of approval.

"Alright. Now, onto the next set", Kurenai declared.

Naruto groaned. Wasn't three sets enough?




Naruto and Kurenai walked out of the shop an hour later.

"That was weird", Naruto finally admitted.

"Not used to other people picking out your clothes for you?", Kurenai asked, all-too-knowingly.

"Or even worrying what I look like in them", he added.

"Trust me. You'll thank me later. So, what are we going to do now?", she asked as she looked at a bookstore that piqued her interest. She wanted to see if he caught on.

Naruto was surprised she was giving him the choice...until he saw her looking at the bookstore...ohhhh.

"Let's go to that bookstore", he "decided".

Kurenai smiled, " Rule number 3. If you're not on a set time or anything, look for hints as to what your date would like to do. Glances at certain places. References and comments about certain places in the area, or just take a shot in the dark based on their personality, and it will usually pay off. Remember, first and second dates are about impressing the person you're dating, so leave your favorites for later", she instructed.

"But what if it's the other way around? What if the girl is the one taking you out on a date?"

An amused smirk came to Kurenai's face, " Now, that would be a definite switch from the usual. I can't really say what would happen in that situation, because even with most of the more authoritative girls, it's more "Take me out on a date and it better impress me" than "Go out on a date with me so I can impress you into liking me".

Naruto had an epiphany, " That's not true. Fangirls do it all the time...maybe some of the authoritative girls can take notes", Naruto suggested as Kurenai looked at him with a gobsmacked look...then out into nowhere. He was right. That was one aspect that fangirls had others beat. Good god.

"Let's go in before we have too many revelations", Kurenai proclaimed as she walked in...with Naruto holding the door, obviously.




Kurenai browsed through the sections, Naruto walking behind her. She knew that would happen. He didn't really look like the bookworm type to begin with. So, she decided to change that, if even just a little bit.

She spied a book on survival and pushed it on him.

"Survival methods? I already know survival", Naruto argued.

"It would surprise you how much you don't know. The Academy only teaches basic survival skills, not more in-depth and terrain based methods. I'm sure you can part with a handful of ryou for something that can last a lifetime", she retorted.

Naruto looked through the book with doubt, " Are you sure this thing is only a handful? It looks really old. It's even hand written."

That piqued her curiosity as she took a look at the book as well. There weren't many handwritten books in this day and age, afterall. True enough, it was. It was even littered with accurate, hand drawn illustrations of plants, instructions, and the like. She looked to see who the author was.

Saurtobi Sasuke...that was Asuma's grandfather! What was this doing in a bookstore?

"This was written by the Sandaime's grandfather Naruto. You can't ask for a better find than this...but I have to wonder what it was doing out here?"

She went to the clerk,"Excuse me. Where did this book come from?", she asked, holding it up.

The clerk peered at it for a while before remembering, " Ah. I got it at an estate sale, years ago, along with a bunch of others."

Kurenai's eyebrows went up,"Estate sale?"

"Yeah. And old woman passed away with no one to inherit her estate. I hear she used to live in Konoha until her relations with the village went sour and she moved out here. I think her name was Setsuna."

"I see. Thank you", Kurenai excused herself as she started looking through the books with more vigor. It didn't take too long to find something else. An atlas, drawn out by Senju Tobirama.

"Here, Naruto. Learn geography from the Second Hokage. It might not be completely accurate anymore, but it will still work", she prompted, handing the book over to him.

Naruto's eyebrows threatened to fly off his head, " Whoa! How the heck did this get out here?"

"The same way the survival book got here. There still might be others too, so start looking around."

"Uh, okay. And who should I be looking for?"

"Just look for really old books and I'll figure that out", Kurenai compromised.

So, they did just that. The first thing Kurenai found was another book by the Second Hokage on geopolitics. Kind of useless in today's standards, but still a good look into a bygone era, before the First Shinobi war ever took place. The second volume was even more impressive. It was basically an encyclopedia of every clan known of, back in the day. It was a thick book too. Just thumbing through a small section, she saw names that had fallen into obscurity, or had been wiped out from war and strife.

"Here you go, Kure-sensei. Learn how to take care of a fern from the First Hokage!", Naruto claimed with a snicker every now and then. It was no wonder why. Unlike the others, this one was fully illustrated, including a cover picture with the man kneeling down in a gardening apron, amongst a bunch of potted plants, with a beaming smile and a thumbs up, which he had colored green.

Kurenai couldn't help but snicker as well. So many people, including her, had such a grandiose and revered image of what the First Hokage was, that it was easy to forget that he was a person, just like any other. She snickered even more when she read the dedication.

"To my beloved wife, Mito. So you may never kill the houseplants again", she read out loud. She had to wonder how many copies of this still existed.

"I saw that too, so I looked for her name and found this", Naruto claimed as he held up another book.

Kurenai's surprise was obvious as day. Now, this was a find. Sealing Arts by Senju Mito.

"This is insane. You wouldn't even find any books on sealing in Konoha's library, let alone a hand written one by the Shodaime's wife", Kurenai mumbled in awe as she paged through it.

They were definitely buying these all back. She didn't care how much it cost. This was a big chunk of Konoha's history, sitting outside of it no less, where anyone could buy it up. She brought all of them up to the counter to be checked out. The final tally...

"500 ryou"

Kurenai blinked, " Th-that's all?", she stuttered out in shock.

The store owner shrugged, " I got the whole lot of them for a steal, and they've been around for years, so I'm just looking to get rid of them."

Kurenai couldn't help but feel miffed at that.

"Then we'll take this stack too", Naruto proclaimed as she set another stack down, " I looked for the other clan names and found all these. An Akimichi cookbook. Hyuga medical arts. "The Mind of War" by a Yamanaka, and alot of books from the Uchiha."

That perked Kurenai's attention fully. If there was a majority from the Uchiha, maybe that's where their mysterious Setsuna came from...or the Uchiha wrote more books than other people...or she was an original Uchiha fangirl.

Anyways. It was a little more spendy, but Kurenai knew it was worth it, as she put them into a sealing scroll she kept on hand for shopping trips, and left the store.

Naruto came out a short while later.

"So, what did you buy?"

He smiled, "It's a surprise".

Kurenai couldn't help but smile as well, " And I didn't even have to teach you that one. Rule number 4. Getting gifts for a date can be a lasting impression, but you want to make sure it's something they're actually going to like. You also want to be cautious if you're giving them flowers, because different types have different meanings."

Naruto looked at her in surprise, " Flowers have meanings?"

"Oh yes. Some have good meanings, like symbolizing love or affection, and others have negative meanings, like insincerity or distrust. So do some research beforehand. Anyways, let's go get some lunch."

Naruto's stomach answered for him.




Kurenai was watching an amusing sight. Naruto trying to decide what to order.

"Why not just order ramen? I picked this shop just for that reason", she suggested.

Naruto looked up from the menu incredulously, " And miss out on trying something else? Heck no."

"Oh? I thought ramen was your favorite"

"It is...but eating your favorite all the time can make it less of your favorite", he reasoned.

Kurenai chuckled. So, he did eat other things, and now that he wasn't paying out the nose for electricity, and in a place he could actually enter the stores, it was showing. Speaking of which.

"So, how goes cooking for yourself?"

"Well, it's kind of a pain, especially since there's no kitchen in my room, but there is a kitchen in the commons area so I put all the food there. When I tried cooking, it attracted mostly everyone else in the building, next thing I know, Risa-san butted me out of the way and started "actually cooking", and everyone thought it was great so it turned into a thing. Basically every friday night is "Whatever your supreme mistress feels like feeding lowly little worms like you"... night. I'd be a little miffed that I'm feeding all my neighbors too, but the fact is I can't use the food too well until I get my apartment back, and it's kinda fun getting to actually know my neighbors for once...I kinda wish Risa wouldn't use whatever client she's hosting as a waiter/waitress...or at least put them in something that isn't made of chains and leather...but sometimes it turns into dinner and a...show...", Naruto trailed off as he turned beet red.

...Kurenai had absolutely no idea what the fuck she was supposed to be doing right now. Was...was she supposed to be smiling and nodding? Disapproving? Crying?¡ She didn't know!

She went into default mode and facepalmed.

"Rule number 5. Censor your stories so you're not utterly confusing, grossing, or freaking out your date."

"Ummm...I tried cooking in the commons but Risa-san said I was better at eating food than making it so she took over and her food was so good it attracted the rest of my neighbors too, and it turned into a community dinner every friday with one or more of her clients volunteering to help out?", he blurted out after thinking about it.

"See? Much better impression", Kurenai approved.

"Well, yeah...but what if they're so impressed, they want to participate in it too?"

"...Touche", Kurenai admitted with a sweatdrop.




After they ordered, Naruto finally showed what he got Kurenai.

"Unlike the rest of those old books, I know you'll like this one", he declared as he set the paper bag down.

She pulled it out, and a smile lit up her face, " Now this is rare. Many people make books about how to make traps, but few even try to cover the psychological aspect as well. And to have a hand written one by..."

She paused in shock when she went back to the first page and found the author, especially when she saw the dedication.

"To my beloved wife Setsuna"

"...I can see why her relationship with the village soured", she commented, much to Naruto's confusion. When she saw as much, she elaborated.

"Setsuna, our mystery contributor, was the wife of Uchiha Madara, the opponent of the first Hokage"

Naruto was still lost, " How does that explain everything?"

"Well, if you had paid attention in history, you'd have known Uchiha Madara was one of the founding members of Konoha. He turned against the village when the Shodaime became Hokage and his clan ignored his warnings of betrayal. It ended with a legendary battle between him and the Shodaime at the Valley of the End. I never knew he had a wife though. She must have left Konoha, before or after he died, out of either bitterness or shame, and apparently liked to collect books", she commented, ending the story as their food got there.

Before Naruto could dive into his tempura chicken, Kurenai piped up again.

"Rule number 6. Table manners", she declared with mirth as she watched him deflate.




"My food got cold trying to learn all that junk", Naruto whined.

"Look at the bright side, the waitress found it cute", Kurenai replied.

It was too...until the waitress had mistakenly called him her son...and before Kurenai could correct her, Naruto did it for her by calling her his date.

It didn't help that the waitress gave her a smile and a thumbs up as she fumbled to explain.

She let it go.

"Well, we still have three hours left. So where to now?", she left the decision in his hands completely.

He looked around the town. There was a small movie theater, most likely because of the "tourist" traffic from Konoha. There was only one movie playing, and it was a horror flick.

"You're not afraid to see a horror movie, are you Kure-sensei?", he asked, teasingly.

She gave him a dirty look, " Did you forget what rank I am? Some cheap horror flick can't compare to the horrors I've seen in real life."




*An hour and a half later*

"You will not tell anyone about this", Kurenai ordered as they walked out of the theater.

"You threw the bucket of popcorn at me", Naruto whined.

The plot of the movie was simple. An evil clone of the main protagonist tried taking her place, and, barring that, started killing everybody and making clones of them too. Yeah, Naruto's female clone came to mind, and when Naruto called out to her, who she forgot was sitting right next to her, she "nearly" jumped out of her seat.

"Well, you startled me. It had me thinking about just what your female clone really is", she explained.

Naruto shrugged, " You have as much idea as I do."

"Well instead of guessing, why don't we ask it. We still have time to kill, so let's try it...on the outskirts of town, in case she is evil."




Naruto stood in a clearing, looking at Kurenai.

"Alright. Now bring her out"

"If she comes out. Alot of the time, she doesn't even appear", Naruto argued, but Kurenai had an idea.

"She seems to thrive on anything sexual in nature...so think of something perverted", she suggested awkwardly.

So he did just that. He had enough images from Ino, Sakura, and Hinata alone.

Kurenai could tell he was doing as she said...because blood was leaking from his nose. He then popped a clone, and there she was.

She looked around in confusion, before looking back at Naruto with an angry pout.

"Hey! You tricked me! There's nothing good going on here!", she complained with wailing arms.

Naruto and Kurenai both sweatdropped.

"Now that we have you out here, who are you?", Kurenai asked, eliciting shock from the clone.

She had to think about it, before putting on a mischievous grin, " That's for me to know, and you to find out too late *POOF*."

She turned into a log.

"Crap! She escaped! Should we go catch her?", Naruto urged.

Kurenai shook her head,"I doubt she's dangerous. You could see the utter confusion on her face. She has no idea who or what she is. Plus, she's a clone She'll run out of chakra, or luck, and get dispelled", she explained.

"Well, yeah, but what if we never see her again?"

Kurenai quirked an eyebrow at Naruto, " And that would be a bad thing?"

"Yeah. We would never know what she was", he reasoned.

"Are you sure you don't just like her because she pulled up Sakura's top for you?"


"Of course not. Come on Casenova, let's go see if your clothes are done", Kurenai suggested as they walked out of the clearing.

As soon as they were gone, blonde pigtails poked up out of a bush, then blue eyes and whisker marks followed.

"I'm free", She mumbled in awe, before excitement, panic, fear, and a myriad of other emotions flooded through her.

After three years, she was finally free! Sure, she hadn't tried too hard to escape, but they started asking questions that she didn't really have the answer to. She knew she looked like his orioke no justsu because she at least knew she was female, and it was the only thing she could come up with from his memories floating around in her head.

Her memories...were vague and unclear...now what was she going to do? It wasn't like she had planned this out.

She decided on a very Naruto way of deciding...she closed her eyes, spun in a circle, and when she opened her eyes again, she went in that direction.

And so began the journey of the Clone Wanderer.




*Back with Kurenai and Naruto*

It was back to being scrutinized for Naruto, as Kurenai circled around him.

The white collar was gone, replaced with a regular black one that folded over. All the blue was gone as well, replaced with a new design of black and orange. It was unzipped in the front, showing off the fishnet shirt underneath. The pants were a mix of orange and black as well, leading to an aesthetically pleasing, and slightly intimidating design.

"Sooo...does it look good?", Naruto finally asked the circling woman.

With a little bit of final thought, Kurenai nodded, " It actually looks good on you. I'm sure your girlfriends would agree"

"Well, one of them is right now", Naruto teased.

"Cute, except your forgot one thing"

"That you're already taken?"

"No, to pay for the meal"

"Shucks. I knew I forgot something", they joked around as Naruto vacated his wallet. He was broke again, but it was totally worth it.

On the way back, they conversed about little things. What they were going to do with the books, where the clone went...

Why it was taking so fucking long to renovate his apartment building!

"Welcome to the wide world of bureaucracy and government oversight, Naruto. I wouldn't be surprised if they needed to file paperwork to hammer in a nail. So, what should only take a couple weeks, could be months."

"Oh...great", Naruto deadpanned.

"Look at the bright side. Free room, free room service, and that thing you have with your neighbors", she listed the pros.

Before too long, they were back in Konoha and ready to go their own ways.

"Thanks for everything Kure-sensei. I had more fun than I've ever had in a day."

Kurenai couldn't help but agree," It was a fun date for me as well. We should do it again."

"I wouldn't want to make Asuma-sensei jealous", Naruto teased.

"Speaking of which. There's a problem I'm starting to see pop up, that I partly had a hand in", she admitted.

It didn't take Naruto too long to figure it out.


It could only be one thing.

" It was cute at first, but if they start getting serious, it will only get harder the longer you wait", she reasoned.

Naruto scratched his temple in frustration, " I know, but, I have no idea which one to pursue. How did you decide, Kure-sensei?"

"How...did I decide?", Kurenai asked in confusion.

"Well, I'm sure there was more than Asuma-sensei after you", he surmised.

Kurenai bit her lip. This was a hard admission. Unfortunately, someone did it for her.

"A very easy equation, Naruto", A gruff voice called out. Both of them looked to see Asuma walking up to them, " I had plenty of competition for Kurenai-san's heart. She was always getting gifts and love letters from other classmates, so, I decided to observe to gain an edge. It wasn't too long before I came to a realisation..."

Naruto's eyebrows creased in concentration as Kurenai covered her eyes with her hand.

"Kurenai was straight, and all my competition was female", Asuma revealed.

Naruto blinked as that went through his head, " W-wait, what? But there...but she...but...th-that doesn't make any sense!"

"You have no idea", Kurenai mumbled, resigning to the truth coming out.

"Indeed. The fact is Kurenai is drop dead gorgeous, a goddess, one could argue! No other girl in our class could hold a candle to her. And then you have her quiet, reserved demeanour...well, until you showed up...and you have a girl that most men will write off as "unobtainable", leading to her unwarranted nickname as "The Ice Princess of Konoha"

"...So...all the other guys...didn't even try?¿ They just figured they'd get rejected?¿ That's utterly stupid!...Wait...then why weren't the girls doing the same thing? And why girls at all?"

"If you can answer that, you'd be the first", Kurenai answered bluntly before Asuma continued.

"Nobody knows. But in the end, I gave her chocolate on White Day and swept her off her feet"

"I grabbed your had and announced to the class that you were my boyfriend, and you could do nothing but stutter and blush for the rest of the day", Kurenai corrected.

"Like I said, swept you off your feet, and, thus became the only man in her life...and then you popped up."

"You're not jealous are you?", Naruto prodded with a coy smirk.

Asuma harumphed, " A Sarutobi never gets jealous...they get territorial. Mine", Asuma proclaimed as he grabbed Kurenai's arm.

"Hey! She's my sensei! And she's fund to hang out with! Mine!", Naruto proclaimed as he grabbed her other arm.

"You're too young for her!"

"And you're too goofy looking for her!"

She knew they were just screwing around. They knew eachother far before even the Academy...still, it was nice to have two guys fighting over her, as fake as it was.

Too bad Anko had to go and ruin it.


Asuma and Naruto stopped bickering to join Kurenai in looking at a really mad looking Anko...and her donkey?

"Hey Anko-chan. Nice donkey", Naruto commented with a mocking undertone.

"Don't you play innocent with me, brat! Do you know how many people think I'm more of a sexual deviant that I actually am?¡", she roared.

"The same amount that think I'm a leather loving sadomasochist?¡", Naruto fired back.

"Why should I care?¡"

"Because now you run a donkey show!"

"Hee Hawww!", the donkey proclaimed.

"That does it! I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your ass you'll need dentures!"

A second later, the...fight...was on. It was hard for Asuma and Kurenai to really call it a fight...since they were watching a tokubetsu jounin and a genin rolling around the ground, trying to pull various parts of the other's body off. Face, hair, head, nose.

It was like watching a couple of siblings go at it.

"Should we stop them?", Asuma asked unsurely.

Kurenai sighed, " They'll stop themselves. Let's call it a day and let them sort it out", she proclaimed as she walked away, Asuma shrugging and following.

A few minutes later, they finally untangled and realized they were alone.

"Now look what you did! You scared of Kurenai-sensei!"

"Shut up! It's not my fault she was embarrassed by you rolling around like a grade schooler!"

"I think she'd be more embarrassed by her friend instigating it"

"Oooh, big word for you gaki"

"Did you want a dictionary to look it up?"

"That did it!"

They were back at it.




*20 minutes later*

Naruto sat at Ichirakus...and so did Anko.

"Why the hell are you following me?", Naruto complained.

"Because the dango shop is closed and I'm hungry from dealing with your ass." Anko shot back as she finished her chopstick balancing act.

Naruto snorted, " I didn't know quarreling with a genin could take so much out of you. Maybe you should retire."

"Just you wait! You'll have to wear a bag over your head after the next prank!", she declared as she hit her fist on the counter, causing her tower of chopsticks to fall over.

"And you'll be so embarrassed after my next one, you'll have to become a hermit to get any peace!", Naruto shot back.

"You know..", Ayame interupted from the noodle boiler, " ...you two should quit while you're behind"


"I mean, there have already been people here who are eager to see what you do with the donkey...and how many times.." Ayame explained to Anko, who paled on this information. She then turned to Naruto, "..And some leathered up woman named Risa was asking about your little tirade yesterday, and if I knew which side of the leash you played on."

Naruto turned blue instead of white, " Fuck! I've seen what she does to guys! I'm not living in a kennel!"

"Whoa! Really? I wonder what she does to girls", Ayame voice introspectively.


"You know some really kinky people, gaki"

"You included!"

Ayame huffed as she put her hands on her hips, " So what? Maybe I want to be a dog for a few hours to see what it's like."

"Can I be a doggy too?"

They all froze up when Reiko spoke up, then promptly overwhelmed her as they all tried explaining, separately, that she didn't hear that and should forget whatever she heard.

A while later, while they were eating their noodles, and Ayame and Reiko were working on the second batch, Naruto and Anko came to a decision.


"...Yeah. Any more pranks are just going to escalate even further...but down think this means I'm going to play nice with you"

"Likewise, Anko-chan"

"That's Anko-sama to you, brat"

"Pah! I think "chan" works alot better for a person of your maturity"

"The hell it does, shrimp!"

Ayame and Reiko watched as they quarreled for another five minutes. They finally settled back down and Naruto paid his bill and left for the night.

"Oi. I'm still waiting on my bill", Anko announced impatiently.

"I'll have it done in just a second. Reiko, go help dad with dinner", Ayame ordered the little girl back in the house.

Ayame finished up the bill and handed it to Anko. Anko's eyes widened upon seeing the total, before eyeing up Ayame and smirking.

"The little civilian ramen girl wants to play with fire, huh?"

Ayame pushed up her breasts for emphasis, " I play with fire everyday, and it's veteran, by the way."

"Oh really? Well, we'll see how much of one you actually are", Anko countered as she wrote down the details and the time, then handed it back to her, " Wear something skimpy", she added, before parting.

Ayame waited a while before squealing with excitement. Finally, some action! Sure, she heard stories about Anko, but those kinds of stories were best taken with a pound of salt. She doubted she had a fully equiped dungeon in her house, and even if she did, that just mean more fun. Now, she had the arduous task of waiting until tomorrow night.

*At Kurenai's apartment*

Asuma fumbled with the door handle to Kurenai's apartment.

"Any closer to the door, and I'll think you're trying to use me as a battering ram", Kurenai commented from his arms

"There's only one battering ram here, and if this door doesn't open quick, he's going to get some warm up-success!", he proclaimed as the door swung open, to show a video tape that had been shoved through her mail slot.

"What the heck is that?", Asuma asked in confusion.

"It must be the video of Naruto's prank against Anko today"



Twenty minutes later, the apartment was filled with hysterical laughter.








"MHMPH!", Hinata proclaimed...through her gag. She dare not try to be more vocal, lest the rubber penis, that protruded out of the back of that ball, start her gagging again.

She couldn't remove it, what with her arms fastened back into a monoglove. She was sitting precariously atop a wooden horse, her legs on each side, bent and tied, while hanging weights hung off ropes around her knees.

For most, this would evoke fear and pain. For Hinata, it was pure ecstasy.

She heard a door open and close. She tried craning her neck, but the posture collar prevented her from doing so, forcing her to strain her eyes, which was all for naught, as the person stayed within the shadows of the room.

It didn't matter, because as soon as he spoke up, she knew who it was, which made her shudder in pleasure, causing the bells on her nipples to jingle.

"Already used to the weight? Well, we'll have to add a little more again, now won't we?"

"MPHMGLG!", she tried pleading, but lost her hold on the gag, allowing the tip to poke the back of her throat. She quickly got her hold back on it, only to realize he was already bent down and adding more weights, which dug the peak deeper into her exposed crotch. Her shudder and moan gave her away.

"Oh? Did you like that, you little pain slut?"

Those word, uttered in a voice she had wished to hear them in, for so so long, nearly sent her over the edge again. All thoughts stopped dead in the next moment, when an object came into view in front of her.

A long, black paddle, with "PROPERTY" punched into it.

She shuddered and groaned as he brushed it against her breasts, pushing them up to cause them to jingle.

"You look excited. Does my little pain slut want a good paddling?"

Hinata moaned out a plea, which seemed to be enough for him. She felt something clipped onto the end of her monoglove, which she realized was a rope and pulley as she was forced to bend forward to adjust to the new position of her arms, exposing her butt for what was to come next.

She felt him brush it across each cheek teasingly, eliciting whimpers from her, before she saw him raise it up into the air and the wooden horse turned into a real horse and started to try and buck her off!

Her eyes shot open as the bed continued to jounce around, thanks to a bratty little sister waking her up!

"Wakey wakey Nee-san!"

Hinata promptly spit out the pillow she had been chewing on, " Nooo! You ruined my dream! I was so close!", she cried out as she cocooned herself in her sheets.

This didn't stop her annoying sister though, as she pushed the cocoon off the bed, "WAAAKE UP!"

Hinata growled in her new position on the floor, which was Hanabi's que to run away. By the time Hinata untangled herself from her sheets, she was already long gone.

Curse her! She was Stoic Little Miss Robot with everyone else except her!...probably because everyone else was just as stoic...still, she was a little brat!

Hinata spent the next half an hour, lamenting her lost dream, as she went about doing her morning ritual. It was while she was brushing her teeth that she came to a decision. She was never going to see her dreams fulfilled if she kept tiptoeing around Naruto-kun.

She was going to do it! She was going to ask Naruto on a date! And then she would impress him so he would fall in love with her, declare her his girlfriend, and then tie her up and spank her!

God how she wished she could skip to the last part.

With a renewed fire, she spit out her toothbrush and marched out of her bathroom to get dressed.




*An hour later*

She walked through the red light district on a mission. Walking past Naruto's apartment building, she could see no one was working on it. It was Sunday afterall, and everyone knew the non vital government functions were closed for business on Sunday.

That meant he was still in that room...

With all that enticing equipment...

That enticing equipment she wished he would use on her...

She shook herself out of her daze and moved forward. This wasn't time for fantasies! This was a time for realities!

She continued her trek to the love hotel/temporary housing. It took her less than five minutes to get to his door, having memorized it the only time she was here.

It took another ten minutes to get past her cold feet. For heaven's sake, she put a gag in her mouth right in front of him! Why was asking him out on a date such a problem?¡

With the might of her forefathers, and the will of fire flaring up inside her, she knocked on that door with a purpose.

A woman in latex answered.

"Eh? Do you need something?", Risa asked the gawking Hyuuga.


Risa sighed and pointed down the hall, "Next door, in the room that should have been mine. How the hell do they expect me to do business in a room that looks like it's for a little girl-*slam*", Risa griped as she closed the door.

Hinata moved one door down in embarrassment and just knocked on the damn door.

Thankfully, it was Naruto that opened the door.

Thankfully, he did it half asleep, in his boxers.

"Hellu-oh Hinata! Crap!", he dove behind his door as Hinata quickly wiped the drool from her mouth and reigned in her blush as best she could.

"H-hello Naruto-kun. I was wondering...since it's Sunday...and we both have the day off...and if you're not doing anything today...and if you wouldn't mind too much...could we...kind of...maybe...go...onadate?", she practically squeezed out the words.

Naruto blinked. He had never thought she would take the initiative. He guessed that was his bad. Well, he didn't have anything else planned for the day, so a date with Hinata would be fun.

"Sure. I just need to get ready-", he grabbed the floor mirror and shielded himself with it as he rolled it over to the wardrobe, then to the bathroom, "-just make yourself at home", he stated as he dove into the bathroom and shut the door.

Hinata shut the door behind herself as her eyes roamed around the room.

God, how she wished she had half of this...and Naruto to help her use it, heehee.

She brushed her hands along the instruments that hung from the pegs on the wall, until she stopped on one in particular. It seemed like hours passed before her hands did the thinking for her, grabbed it off the wall, and stuck it in her purse.

Then, she saw it.

Well, she knew it was there, but her recent dream brought new emphasis to it. The wooden horse. She stared at it as throughts danced aroundher head. A blush came to her face as she looked at the bathroom door.

He wouldn't be out for a while, right? With a giddy stop, she got up to the top and sat down.




Naruto was thinking as he got ready. Hinata was getting bolder every day it seemed. It was definitely a welcome change from the shy, stuttering firl, but the illusion of an innocent girl went with it. It was also surprising that this new Hinata seemed to stay meek towards him, but totally opposite with other girls...especially two in particular.

Luckily, there weren't any incidents really between her and Sakura, but Ino was a different story. They were always butting heads, usually about him. Ino was cute in the way she'd fight over him, but act like she didn't want him.


Hinata was cute and meek with a wild side, Ino was an aggressive and hot, and Sakura was...well, he wasn't sure what Sakura was, apart from being cute as hell. She seemed to be gaining more confidence in herself, but if he was aggressive, she seemed to...melt. Maybe she was like Hinata?...In the end, it wasn't any easier to pick on, and Kurenai had disappeared before he could get any kind of advice on it. Oh well.

He cleared his thoughts, only for them to be scrambled again as he caught Hinata on the top of the wooden horse.

"Wha are you doing?"

Hinata's glazed over expression turned white before she got off it faster than he could blink.

"J-just passing time!", she squeaked out, then saw what Naruto was wearing. A white undershirt, a black light jacket, and black pants.

He looked gorgeous!

"Where did you get that outfit, Naruto-kun?", she asked in surprise as she tried to keep the drool in her mouth.

Naruto fidgeted under the scrutiny, " I got it yesterday, when Kurenai-sensei and I went shopping in the next village. You look really good in that sundress too, Hinata-chan", he counter-complimented the violet sundress and designer sandals she wore. It really seemed to...show her.

"You really think so?", she perked up.

Naruto scratched the back of his head, " Yeah, it really shows off your...cute figure."

Hinata happily smiled at him before grabbing his arm, " Anything for you, Naruto-kun".

When Hinata's ample breasts squished against his arm, he turned into a stuttering mess. She wasn't wearing a bra.

"A-anyways, l-let's go on the-the date"

"L-lead the way, Naruto-kun"

With that, they moth made their way out of the hotel.




Ultimately, they ended up at Ichiraku's, which Hinata didn't seem to mind. He filled her in on what happened yesterday, and on the last mission, which she seemed more interested in.

"So, b-basically you milked a bunch of human cows", Hinata summarized as she hid the overwhelming arousal from that idea...and the jealousy.

Naruto scratched the back of his head in awkwardness as a blush invaded his face, " S-sort of. I wouldn't really call them cows though."

She wasn't listening. Instead she was looking at her own chest and...inspecting them.

"Uh, Hinata-chan?"

She realized what she was doing and quickly let go, "G-gomen! I was just...uh..a-anyways, what else have you been doing?"

"Well, just work, work, and more work. Kurenai-sensei has been showing me more taijutsu moves lately. She figured out that, by teaching me those initial moves, it made way for more moves, and those will lead to more moves, until I've basically learned her whole style. Then, she's been teaching me how to coordinate it all with my clones, more strategy, less traps, more dodging practice, some caligraphy work-"

"Caligraphy work?¿"

Naruto flashed a peace sign with a grin, " I'm gonna learn seals...eventually. After my writing stops looking like "a seizure victim trying to write". At first it was just so I could make storage seals, but we found an awesome book on seals yesterday, so I may learn even more than that. Other than that, it's been training with Ino and Sakura when they ask/demand."

Hinata stirred her noodles with a sad pout, " You never train with me."

Naruto knew he said something wrong, as he waved his hands in front of himself in defense, "W-well, they need more training than you do and all!"

"Ah, so I'm not even worth training with because I'm so weak"

"Th-that's not what I meant!"

"It's true that I'm one of the weakest Hyuga, and probably not very fun to hang out with"

"That's not true at all! Listen, I'll make it up to you-"

"You will?", she jumped on it eagerly.

"Uh...yeah", Naruto answered unsurely.

Hinata cheered up instantly, " Alright. Then let's go for a walk in the forest next", she decided.

"Umm..okay", he answered. A walk in the forest wasn't so bad. Surprisingly, Hinata paid for the meal before they went out into the forest.

Naruto looked around. The part Hinata had picked out sure was empty.

"Here, hold this", Hinata prompted.

After grabbing it, Naruto looked down to see what was in his hand.

It was a leather loop attached to a chain...a chain that led away from his hand...and to Hinata...or, more particularly, the collar around her neck.

Naruto turned red in an instant, as Hinata nervously twiddled her fingers.

"Uh, Hinata-cha-"

"Th-this is what I am", Hinata nervously stuttered out, " I-I like b-being on a leash. I like leather..and latex...and b-bondage...and S&M...and calling someone M-master. I kn-know it's not really normal...a-and I may be a freak...b-but this is what I like"

Silence reigned for what seemed like hours. Hinata started thinking she had alienated Naruto...until she stumbled a bit as he yanked on her leash. Her breath became erratic as she looked at him in shock...and hope.

"I know all that Hinata-chan. I've lived next to a dominatrix for half my life. I'm still trying to figure it out...but I guess actual experience might help", he explained as he looked away and scratched his cheek with a blush. When he didn't get a response, he looked back.

There was a childish glee on her face as she was off in Lala Land. He thought about what best to do to get her out of it, and ultimately decided to just play the part.

He got behind her, raised his hand, and firmly swatted her ass. She jumped and looked at him in surprise again, "Stop daydreaming and get moving!", he acted sternly.

"Ha-hai!", she squeaked, overcoming how turned on she was right now.

The walk through the park was a little wierd for Naruto, but he quickly got used to the fact that he had Hinata on a leash. If he had to be honest, the more he thought about it, the more erotic it sounded. He looked to her to see her cheerfully walking beside him, yet, fidgeting every so often.

They were both so distracted, that they completely missed the person collecting flowers.

"Wha..what the hell are you doing?¡", the obvious voice of Ino cried out.

Naruto went blue, while Hinata gained a tick mark, " What the hell does it look like , Bleachy? Were going on a walk in the woods for our date!"

Ino harumphed, "On a leash?¡ I knew you were homely, but I didn't think you would have accepted the fact to that level"

The next thing Naruto knew, he was holding onto the leash for dear life to prevent Hinata from murdering Ino, who was mockingly just staying out of Hinata's reach.

It only took a little while before the restriction from the collar made Hinata black out as she slumped to the ground, swirly eyed, which gave Naruto time to rest.

"Ino! Stop ruining Hinata's date!"

"You're walking her on a leash!"

"It's her thing!"

"What the hell kinda "thing" includes being walked on a leash?¡"

Naruto whispered something into her ear as she went beet red.

"W-well I have things too you know!"

"No, I don't know!"

"Well you will when you take me out on our date next weekend!"

"I am?¡"

"Yes! You are! So pick me up at 5 on Saturday! Got it?¡" Ino ordered before stomping off.

"Okay! See you tomorrow for training!", Naruto shouted back, killing her badass feel.




*A while later*

Hinata was sulking because Ino ruined one of her fantasies.

"I'm really sorry Ino had to ruin it for you...", Naruto started apologising, "...but, it was fun while it lasted...and I have to admit it was kind of hot",

Hinata was really close all of a sudden.

"It was? So y-you would like to do it again?", she asked as her eyes glistened in hope.

"S-sure", she answered with a red face.

Hinata's face lit up in happiness, before she did something else Naruto wasn't expecting.

She popped up onto her tiptoes and kissed him right on the lips, before running off with a wave.

"Thanks for the date, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto gaped at her as she left.

And they called HIM unpredictable.