Disclaimer: I don't own.


"This is gonna be awesome!" shouted Jack.

The other Guardians groaned. At first, they had counted how many times Jack had said it, just to see how many he'd total to before they got to the beach. Sandy, who had lasted the longest, lost count somewhere around seventy-six.

"Uh, Frostbite, I think ya forgot something," said Bunnymund as the unusually hyperactive winter sprite did flips around the room.

Jack froze, and turned to Bunny. "What?"

A sedative, Bunny wanted to say. But instead he said, "Ya can't go swimming in those, Frost." He gestured to Jack's blue sweatshirt and ratty brown leggings.

Jack looked down. "I don't see why not."

"They'll get wet."

The boy shrugged. "Okay." He returned to doing flips and playing with North's big red beach towel.

Bunny rolled his green eyes. They all knew that the little dude could be a bit immature for his three hundred and eighteen years every once in a while, but this was crossing the line. He was acting like a six-year-old. Bunny glanced at the other three Guardians. "Did someone give him access to the cookie pantry again?"

Sandy and Tooth looked at North, who was rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Whoops?"

"Jack!" cried Tooth, who had just had her purple towel stolen by a very hyped up winter sprite. "Give it back!"

"I'm carrying them all until we get there!" Jack said, zipping around and snatching up Bunny's green towel.

Bunny let out an indignant "Hey!"

But when Jack tried to take Sandy's, the little golden man stubbornly refused. When Jack gave him the pouty lip, Sandy only smiled and nodded.

Jack collapsed on the ground, releasing the towels in his arms. Everyone let out a sigh of relief.

"Now Jack is quiet," said North, pulling out a snow globe, "we can go."

He shook it and whispered the address to it, then threw it to the ground.


They all appeared in a parking lot. Beyond it was a chain-link fence, beyond that was beautiful sand, and beyond that was the sea. It was wonderfully warm, and at that moment Jack in Bunny's arms awoke and said, in his normal, casual voice, "Is it me, or is it really hot?"

"It's not you," said Bunny, setting the winter sprite down. "It's really hot. Let's go."

They started making their way over to the gate, and North was about to push open the gate when he saw four signs tacked up on it.

We have rights to refuse anyone with body tattoos

We do not allow pet birds or rabbits

Do not bring your own sand

No shoes, no service

The Guardians stared at the signs, open-mouthed, for a few minutes.

An angry little thundercloud of sand formed above Sandy's head.

Then Bunnymund, in an ominous, hard-as-steel voice, said, "Jack."

"What?"

In perfect, creepy unison, North, Bunny, and Tooth hissed, "Freeze it. Freeze the whole stupid beach."

Jack grinned mischievously and rubbed his hands together. "I've been waiting to hear those words for a long time."


For the record, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist either. You people who've read the extras know what I'm talking about. That's…uh…kinda where I got the idea. I just wanted to convert it to ROTG form because I thought it'd be funny. (Sorry, Hiromu Arawaka!)