Eliwood was distraught. He was burdened with a terrible secret; a secret that made his heart heavy, his very soul cry out with grief, his eyes swim always with tears. Most nights he would curl up into a ball in his bed and cry himself to sleep, knowing that nobody, nobody else in the whole universe could possibly understand his limitless sorrow.

In other words, Eliwood was slightly more wangsty than usual.

"Hector!" he finally cried one day, tears in his eyes, clinging to his friend. "I have something I must tell you! To keep it a secret any longer is tearing me apart from within!"

"Sorry Eliwood, I don't swing that way," said Hector, giving the redhead a little pat on the head.

"No, you misunderstand me!" Eliwood wept, and in one dramatic motion he tore his shirt from his chest.

"HOLY CRAP BOOBIES!" yelled Hector.

"Yes, 'tis true!" sniffed Eliwood. "For I am truly... a woman!"

"...You have boobies," said Hector.

"Don't you see?" cried Eliwood. "Now we are free to follow our hearts and desires and all the slash fanfiction on the internet! We can get married and have kids and—"

"Hang on," said Hector, cutting him/her off. "I have something to tell you, too."

"You do?" gasped Eliwood, and then Hector tore off his shirt too.

"HOLY CRAP BOOBIES!" Eliwood screamed.

"Yeah, I'm a woman too," said Hector.

"Didn't see that one coming," Eliwood admitted.

There was a pause. Then Hector muttered "Screw it" and they started making out anyway.

"Dangit, I'm still screwed!" yelled Roy from Super Smash Bros Melee. Lilina didn't even have a third-party game to lament at her inexistence from.

Fin


Seems to be a thing to genderswap Eliwood.

...nobody ever tries genderswapping Hector...