Desperately Seeking Sam

Summary: Sam's gone. Did he walk away? Dean believes so…until things begin adding up in a way that he doesn't like & finally figures out the real reason his brother didn't look for him. Follow Dean's path as he learns some truths, faces some truths, deals with old & new enemies alike all as he fights to find Sam before it's too late to save him from a fate worse than anything they've faced. *Angsty/furious/protective!Dean & Hurt/ really hurt/confused/drugged!Sam* See Note for reasons behind rating & more details.

Warnings: This one is a little more tricky with the warning. Most of it will fit in the T area with a only a chapter or so stretching it to push for the rarely used in my writing M rating.

So here's my best way to do this: This story is rated M for portions with mildly suggestive themes of drugged non-con, some physical abuse & violence along with language.

Now not the whole story will contain these things, only perhaps bits in various chapters and as I always do I will add warnings per chapter as needed. See note below for more.

Spoilers/Tags: No tags but will have spoilers for early episodes up to 08x11 as this story is set between 08x11 LARP & the Real Girl and 08x12 As Time Goes By.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This is written for purely entertainment.

Author Note: Special thanks go to Wincesteriffic Kaz for the idea of the villain & her generous permission to run with it.

Alright, normally my warnings don't get this large but then normally I don't rate M but even though 90% of this could probably fly under the T rating I don't feel comfortable using it since I know what may come in later chapters. If the plot changes then I may change the rating.

This story will be pushing a few boundaries, mainly my own so I hope my readers will give it a chance and go along as Dean goes along. I'll try to keep the 'suggestive' stuff as merely suggestions when possible and I will warn per chapter as is needed. This is the first time I've gone this deep so it's a new experience for all of us, lol.

Fans of Garth and Becky will be happy to know that they both will have cameos and considering I'm not a fan of Becky that should be saying a lot that she's in here and not getting yelled at…too much.

If anyone has questions or concerns, I'm on Facebook under morgana07. Thanks and I hope you'll read along to see where this leads.

Chapter One

Present: Kermit Texas:

White hot blinding rage and a strong urge to unleash all the emotions he'd been burying since returning from Purgatory as well as notions popping up in his head from Hell were all that Dean Winchester could feel right at that moment.

The knife clenched in his white knuckled fist was his old knife, the one he got from his Dad. The one that had been bloodied in fights with close to every supernatural thing he'd ever fought…and a couple that wasn't.

Usually when he pulled this knife it was in self-defense or to kill a monster of some kind. There was only two other times that he could recall that he'd pulled this knife in anger, to use on a human and both of those times, like this one now, were because some stupid bastard thought they could lay a hand on his brother and not pay a price for that stupidity.

This night he'd pulled the knife again and it was pretty clear by the fury in his glittering green eyes that the asshole whose throat he had the blade pressed against may not be walking away with his heart or head attached if he didn't answer the hunter's questions.

"Where's my damn brother?"

The snarl and growl in Dean's deeper than normal husky voice would have terrified any normal man and while the man he'd taken by surprise had faced his own fair share of dangerous men something in this young man's tone and eyes warned him that the threat was very plain.

"I…I don't…know," he got out since even swallowing was a risk with the edge of a very sharp blade pressed into this throat. "Look, mister…I don't know what this is…ah!"

Applying just slightly more pressure to the blade caused a thin line of blood to well to the surface; Dean's hate was growing with every second he thought about Sam.

Sam hurt, Sam missing, Sam…gone.

Though the hate for this man was only the tip of a much larger emotional iceberg since he also had hate for the bitch he was sure had his brother as well as plenty of hate and guilt aimed at himself for losing so many hours thinking that his brother had walked away from him again without a word and only a goddamn note.

Though it was actually the note itself, once he'd calmed down enough to read it for the fifteenth time that finally gave it away. That was when the true rage had begun to brew and had only increased since that night two days earlier.

Now though, his fury was burning hotter and this asshole was the closest thing to a target Dean had right then and his lies weren't helping the situation.

"Listen…whatever this is…just back off the knife and…"

"Right. You're ex-military and I was raised and trained by an ex-Marine so we both know why I'm not letting up on the blade, asshole," Dean gritted, seeing the surprise in the other man's eyes but also a slight bit of worry. "My name's Dean Winchester, Richardson and by the way you just looked I can tell that name, or probably the last name, means something to you.

"Now, here's how this plays. You tell me what I want to know in the next…ten seconds and I don't cut your damn throat open," there was no bluff in Dean's voice or his eyes are he kept them locked on those of Don Richardson. "Your wife has my brother and I want to know what the hell game you two are playing and where Sam is now because after what I saw in your basement all the doubts I've had about that woman has just exploded into a fury that you do not want to see."

Trying to still breathe without cutting himself, the former soldier was having a hard time following what was even happening.

Don had come back to the house in Kermit, Texas after spending another futile day out looking for his wife only to walk in to what he'd first thought was a very good thief until he soon found himself on the defensive and eventually pinned to the wall in the dining room by a clearly furious man with a very sharp knife and even sharper skills.

He'd been trying to figure out a way to disarm the stranger without getting killed when the name hit him like ice water in the face and something sick began to build in his gut. He knew the last name well enough even though he'd only heard it once or twice and suddenly realized he was staring into the eyes of the brother of the man his wife had spent the time he'd been believed dead living with.

"Wait…what?" hissing as the knife pressed a little harder, he shifted his one hand that had been gripping the wrist holding blade up toward the elbow to find a pressure point when he stopped as it slowly sunk in what had just been said. "Amelia has…Sam?" he stared into the hot green eyes that looked almost like they were sparking by this point. "What does that even mean?" he demanded hotly. "My wife went for a visit to her father and has been missing for a week and a half, mister. Maybe you got it the other way…shit!"

Fury that was clearly shown in Dean's eyes shifted to his face when those same eyes slit, his mouth went hard and the vein in his forehead began to pound while he just pressed the blade even closer, choosing to ignore the lousy timing of his cellphone ringing.

"You do not want to even go there," he gritted, leaning closer so he was directly in Don's face. "You met my brother once, I've known him for nearly thirty goddamn years. I know that boy better than he does himself and I knew, I just freakin' knew there was something rotten about his time with your bitch of a wife but not even I would've dreamed it went this far down the rabbit hole, dude."

Not one to be attacked, threatened or have his wife talked about, Don's eyes were narrowing in anger. "Maybe you don't know…him that well. He sure seemed to take advantage of my wife while I…"

The knife was jerked away only so Dean could slammed his fist into the man's face, hand at his throat as he twisted to jerk him away from the way and down onto the table with the blade held in front of his face.

"You just trying to piss me off, or do you really want me to kill you?" Dean snarled, head pounding as his blood pressure soared but he had to push back the images that he'd seen both before and from the guys own basement. "You explain the S&M lair downstairs then we can talk but you don't ever talk about my brother and you sure as hell don't ever say he took advantage of her. Not after this. What you are going to tell me is where they're at."

Keeping his eyes on the tip of the blade that was held with perfect poise right above his eye, Don suddenly forgot that to look up into Dean's eyes. "What…what're talking about? What…lair in the basement? What?"

Considering if this was another ploy to buy time, Dean's gut instincts, the ones that he had to get to after pushing his stronger big brother ones down, said that maybe the guy wasn't lying. Maybe he didn't know which Dean found hard to buy considering he lived with the twisted bitch.

"Fine, you want to play games with me? You want to say you don't know what's in your own house? Fine, let's go take a look and you can tell me what kind of sick games you and that sociopath get off on and what the hell she's done to Sam!" Dean jerked the man off the table, twisting an arm behind his back while putting the knife away in order to jerk out his .45. "Try to screw with me and I'll blow your damn head off."

Not doubting the threat in those words, Don didn't intend to fight the man. He intended to show him that there was nothing in the basement…not that he'd been down here much since his return.

Every time he'd gone to take something down or get something, Amelia had stopped him. The one time he had been down stairs he hadn't noticed anything out of place since she'd told him that she kept some vet supplies in that little locked room toward the back.

"What…makes you think Mel has Sam?" he asked evenly, having to be impressed with Sam's brother.

A soldier recognizes another and he can see the way Dean moves, the way he keeps himself far enough back that the weapon in his fist is a threat but Don couldn't disarm him without being shot and the way those glittering green eyes keep on him while also not missing anything around him that this man had some training.

Of course he also noticed something else. Every time he mentioned Sam's name the muscle in the older brother's face ticked and he recognized buried rage as well as something else that he couldn't pin down yet.

"Oh, common sense for one," Dean shot back, the sneer obvious in his voice as he flipped the light on to the basement. "Your wife's got some good sense in hiding her tracks or else I'd've already found 'em and she thought of damn near everything to try to throw me off except for a couple little things but those aren't any of your business until you give me what I want to know."

Fighting not to snap that he couldn't do that since he didn't know what the guy wanted, Don turned as he stepped into the basement but quickly found the .45 aimed perfectly at his heart. "Mister, you're making a mistake," he warned seriously but frowned when that only got a smirk in return.

"No. You make the mistake of covering for the bitch you married," Dean jerked his head toward the little room off to one side that had always been locked. "If I don't find my brother soon or if he's hurt in any way and I mean in the slightest way, I will make you wish that you'd stayed dead, asshole. Now explain that if I'm so wrong!"

Gritting his teeth, Don looked toward the room and with a blown out breath stepped into the room his wife kept some vet supplies only to feel his heart drop to the stone floor. "Oh my God," he breathed, not even reacting to when a hand shoved him further into the room and he had to catch himself with his hands to keep his face from smashing into a wall but grimaced when his fingers touched cold metal that still felt sticky with something he was afraid to think of.

"Yeah, that's…roughly what I thought too," Dean spoke casually but there was still the slight shake in his deep voice that gave away how disturbed by this room he truly was. "Of course, that was after I called the bitch a few more creative names and vowed to rip her to pieces for what she did to my brother down here."

All of Don's arguments were slowly falling away and certainly none could come off his tongue as he turned slowly to take in the full aspect of the room, something he could only guess Dean had already done since it was plain that Sam's brother knew exactly what was in his wife's 'private' room and it sure as hell wasn't what Don had allowed himself to think.

It was a small room at maybe ten feet by ten feet without a window and only lit by a few lights scattered in the room, not that he figured one would need light since his time in the military had given him an all too vivid imagination of what the sturdy metal chains hooked into the wall, floor and ceiling could be used for.

The table and rolling cart with various tools, toys, or tiny little devices turned his stomach but he still fought for logic. Don tried to find some reason this would be down here…for why his wife would have this locked away.

"She's…a vet," he whispered, shifting a look over at Dean to see the smirk slowly turn to incredulous anger as he still tried to deny what could only plainly be a sick perverted sex/torture room. "She might've used this for…um house calls or…"

Shaking his head as if he'd heard wrong, Dean stared before his still brewing temper spiked. "House calls?" he repeated, glaring as he stepped into the room to go to the side corner which was oddly bare to feel along the wall before feeling the catch he'd found earlier. "Really? Then you better ask yourself what kind of house calls she was doing that needed a bed with attached chains," he snapped, letting the bed fall out of the space in the wall with a bang.

"Let me try to give this to you in a way you can get, asshole," still seeing his brother every time Sam would try to explain his actions the year Dean was in Purgatory, to how he'd act at times since leaving Texas for good and kicking himself for not seeing the signs before, Dean didn't even want to be in this room considering the other things he'd learned but hadn't shared with the man yet.

"You're so-called perfect, naïve, innocent, trusting, grieving 'wife' is a sociopathic bitch with tastes that run way past the usual crap, dude," he refused to look at the bed or the blood stains on the mattress as he stepped right up into Don's face again, letting the barrel of the .45 tap his chest with every point.

"She's drugged my brother, probably from the first goddamn day she met him, kept him drugged until he was a docile little boy who'd jump at her every word but wouldn't remember the really bad stuff because that wouldn't work in her plan," Dean didn't have proof of that yet but he'd gotten enough so far to be able to guess at some of Sam's life here in Texas and why he'd just dropped out of sight.

Reaching into his pocket for photos he'd found on the cart, Dean shoved a few in the man's face before fisting the others. "I wasn't sure it had started this far back until I found these but I know she drugged him this time because I found some kind of powder and the damn needle that she either didn't know she missed in clean up or just figured I wouldn't see. Now, tell me I'm wrong and I'll show you how fast I'm done screwing with you."

Swallowing the sour taste that was building in his mouth, Don took the photos and made himself look and wanted to turn away but knew he couldn't. He couldn't keep looking the other way, especially not now.

The night he first met Sam Winchester was in a bar shortly after Don's return. The kid was tall and built and if his brother was any indication knew how to take care of himself but even as he talked with Sam about Amelia he'd gotten that feeling like deep inside Sam was lost kid, a kid who trusted too easily and who could be hurt too easily.

The story he'd gotten was that Sam had hit a stray dog, a dog that still resided upstairs but hadn't made a move against the intruder in the house, and he'd taken him to the animal clinic where Amelia worked.

The more he thought, the more he looked around him at this room, down at the photos in his hands that very vividly showed Sam Winchester in this room, chained either in those chains on the wall and floor or chained to the bed.

Even without the other photos that Sam's brother had kept, Don knew he didn't need them. He knew the pattern and had viciously prayed in his time away that he wouldn't ever see it again.

Sam had probably been drugged lightly at the clinic to make him more 'suggestible' to get back to here since as far as Don could tell Amelia had already had this place so why she'd be at a motel was a mystery, though he had a hunch he knew.

Once she had the kid doused and chained, it would just follow a pattern of drugs, mental conditioning that the drugs would help strengthen until the abuse turned physical in little ways before the sex games would start. By the end of a week, two max, if she'd kept at him the boy wouldn't have known what was going on. Only that Amelia was the only thing that mattered and he would have willingly walked away from anything or anyone just to make her happy.

The last picture was of Sam naked and chained to the wall with huge eyes that seemed to be pleading with someone out of lens view, clearly the dose of whatever drug was in fashion hadn't taken effect yet and he'd known something was wrong.

Clenching his fist to crumple the photos, Don found he had a hard time moving his head to look Dean in the face. He was surprised Sam's brother hadn't just shot him in he thought he'd known this was happening and that was the sickeningly amusing part of this whole mess.

Don knew that he should've seen the signs right from the start. He should've seen them and either made sure it wouldn't happen or he should've warned Sam to watch his back but he'd had hopes. He'd believed her when she begged him to believe that it had changed…that she had changed and now another innocent was in danger.

Though a piece of Don feared that while Dean suspected the trouble his brother was in he really didn't have a clue as to just how much trouble Sam was in and would be in if he didn't find him soon.

"Damn it, Amelia. You swore to me this wouldn't happen again," he gritted, needing out of this damn room of horrors and pushed past Dean to go back upstairs; knowing the other man would follow and wasn't disappointed to feel the strong grip on his shoulder. "Please, I know this…I didn't know she was doing this again or…"

"Again?" Dean had been watching the ex-soldier as he took in the chains, the bed, the tools and sex toys and figured out quickly that he hadn't been expecting to see this but it also didn't take long to realize that while the room and stuff in it was a shock the very fact that his wife would have them didn't seem as big a one.

Then what he was saying clicked and Dean's anxiety went up another notch. "What the hell do you mean…again?" he demanded, hearing his phone start up again and swearing he'd kill the moron on the other end. "Sam…Sammy's not the first she's done this to?"

"… …No," was the eventual reply, looking toward the mantle at a photo of long ago, Don twisted his wedding ring around his finger and suddenly found it very heavy; almost as heavy as his heart now seemed. "Amelia is…a complicated person to understand. She…"

"I don't think sex fiends with a passion for drugs and chains too complicated," Dean snorted, feeling his fist clench along with the knot in his stomach since he knew only too well that his brother had been out of this place, away from the woman and he'd sent him back however unknowingly to become a target. "I want you tell me everything that's going to help me find my brother, including where she might have run to with him and I like what you say I may not kill you for not bothering to warn Sam about any…kinks this chick might've had."

Wanting to say it was much deeper than kinks, Don opened his mouth just as the other man's phone began ringing again and he frowned. "What if that's…Sam?" he asked, seeing that flicker near Dean's eye as the .45 leveled again.

"Don't say his name," Dean growled, snapping a harsh. "Don't you even move," as he jerked his cell phone out of his denim jacket without bothering to look at the ID since Sam's cellphone had been left behind, another tell that something was wrong. "I'm in the process of threatening someone, so unless this is vital to what I told you to do then I will kill you slowly when I get to you, Garth."

"Dean, you've got problems!" Garth, a skinny hunter who had helped the Winchesters out before, yelled into the phone as if not hearing the threat in the elder Winchester's voice or not caring for once.

On his first case with Dean, Garth had seen the rage Dean could exude and also the lengths he'd go to in order to shield and protect his little brother.

Since then he'd seen other exchanges between the brothers but he never doubted Dean's inner feelings and knew when the hunter had called him about Sam disappearing and what looked to be happening that someone would be dying. Now he was certain of that.

"Yeah, I know I do. He's 6'4", over two hundred pounds, an annoying pain in my ass most of the damn time and I haven't a freaking clue to where he's at! That's my problem, Garth!" Dean moved the .45 as his eyes sharpened in warning as Don went to move slightly but only pulled out a chair as if to sit. "Now, what have you done to help me fix it?"

Looking over his shoulder at the computer screen that his once enemy, now part-time ally and, unbeknownst to Dean Winchester, Facebook and Twitter pal, Becky Rosen was trying to dig deeper into while not gagging, screaming or breaking her computer, Garth shook his head as if the hunter could see him. "No, I mean yes but no…damn it, Dean! It's Sam!"

Wondering why the hell he'd gotten Garth involved, much less what the hell had possessed him to actually ask Becky for help on this, Dean felt like hanging up so he could beat the hell out of Don Richardson but struggled for control of his straining temper. "I know Sam's in trouble, Garth. That's why I got you and the obsessed Super Fan, though I may be downgrading her after this, to check online for any hits on Amelia or Sam's credit cards or anything useful to aim me in the direction I need," he reminded tightly. "Now did you find anything or not?"

"Sam's online alright, Dean," Garth chewed his lip while hearing another squeak out of Becky and quickly jerked the phone away so he could talk to her. "Focus past…that. Remember that's…God, he'll kill me, that's your Sam she's hurting so focus and get me an address, Becky!"

Jaw opening since Garth had pulled the phone away but hadn't bothered to cover the mouthpiece so Dean had heard every word of that exchange and debated which of them he'd kill once he got his brother back. "No, he's not her anything and oh hell yeah, I will kill you," he snapped. "What're you talking about? What've you found? She use one of his cards or…?"

"Dean…Becky's search words lit up a live video and…oh, shit, man," Garth knew there was no way to do this without getting a fist in the face sometime and so just rushed it out. "This Amelia…Becky found a whole website under some creepy nickname but you've showed me a picture so I know it's her, I'll send a link to your phone and…damn it…it's Sam and…"

Don was watching Dean as he had the one sided conversation but the other person was talking so loudly that he could pick up bits and pieces and suddenly felt very cold. He could see some of the rage briefly going away on Dean's face and concern replacing it…he just wished he knew a way to tell the other man that it would only get worse.

"Garth, two seconds to spill it or I'm having Kevin do something to your boat!" Dean's heart was pounding faster and there was something in the other hunter's voice, something that made it shake, that was telling him that whatever the two had found was not going to make him happy.

"It's bad, Dean. Sam is…this is…it's…beyond Becky bad. She's bleeding him and…"

All the color went out of Dean's face as it sank in what was being said, as he tried to image what was being said and a look over to Don's grim face made him want to break as he realized he needed to find his little brother and soon.

"Sammy…"

TBC

A/NII: *Ducks* I know, this looks bad and it may be a chapter or so before we get back to this point…unless you don't want to see how Dean ended up in Don's face and such? Huh? I also want to thank readers for trusting me with this one.