Chapter 10

June 7th, 1963

Jack had only been trying to get to sleep, in spite of the chill around them. Now he was filled with anticipation as he heard Ennis making his drunken way to the tent.

He hadn't gotten his friend drunk on purpose, at least not with the intent to seduce him. He'd just been trying to have fun with Ennis and they'd ended up drinking more than planned. Now he wasn't sure what might happen.

Ennis managed to get inside the tent and somehow ended up in the bedroll with Jack, blinking and trying to focus. Part of him was glad to be in such close proximity to the other man at last; the man he'd wanted for almost a month now. That was why he'd allowed himself to get drunk; to have the courage to finally make a move. Now he wasn't too sure how he felt about something happening.

Neither of them got much sleep, despite how warm they were now. Just past two in the morning, Jack awoke from yet another dream of Ennis and sighed to himself, knowing that he was hard. He couldn't jerk himself off in here and he didn't want to wake Ennis by climbing over him to get out of the tent. Wondering what to do, he tentatively reached back and located Ennis's hand.

He was fully awake by now and dreading Ennis's response, but he couldn't help it. He pulled Ennis's hand over his body, which made Ennis turn towards him in his sleep. Jack smiled at how good Ennis felt like this, warmth radiating from him. His heart was hammering in his chest but he couldn't stop himself; he could no longer ignore these feelings and just had to know how Ennis felt. He lowered their joined hands to his erection, coaxing Ennis into rubbing it for him and biting back a moan.

Ennis stirred and blinked, wondering what he had hold of that could be so hard. It didn't take long for him to figure it out, even in his drunken haze, and he jumped away in alarm. He did have certain feelings for Jack, but this was going way too fast for him and he wasn't completely sure if this was a good idea anyway.

Jack sat up, terrified that he'd got things wrong. They stared at each other for a few moments, and Jack could see lust in Ennis's eyes. They were both very drunk and he knew that they weren't fully aware of what they were doing, and he decided to take a chance.

He leaned in closer to Ennis, who wondered if he was going to kiss him. That was the pace he was more comfortable with, but still wasn't sure. But Jack was removing his jacket, his intentions clear.

"What're you doin'?" he mumbled, trying to focus. Jack tried to hold him but he grabbed his arms and they grappled for a few seconds before steadying. Jack pressed their foreheads together and he shakily ran a hand through the dark hair before hearing the clink of a buckle; Jack was undoing his jeans. Understanding crashed into him and he responded in the only way he knew how; he just had to have Jack.

He turned Jack around and pushed him down to the bedroll; he'd only ever seen livestock do this so it was the only thing he knew. Maybe there were other, gentler ways but he didn't know them. He undid his own jeans and pushed Jack's down to expose his ass, gulping at the sight. Was he really about to do this? Would it hurt Jack?

Unable to stop, he spit into his hand and coated himself, some part of him hoping that it would make things easier. Not knowing how else to do this, he started to push in. He groaned at the contact and hoped that Jack was okay.

So sorry if this hurts, bud...I'm sorry...

But while it did hurt, Jack felt exhilarated. He'd wanted this for nearly a month and was willing to go through the pain to get to the pleasure. He gritted his teeth and pushed back as Ennis started to roughly thrust into him, dragging his hips and moaning. Jack was bent low over the bedroll, fists grabbing at the material as he finally found out how this felt. He had Ennis inside him and couldn't be unhappy about it if he tried.

He spotted Ennis's hand and grabbed it, holding on for dear life as things got rougher and quicker. Ennis didn't last much longer and was soon shooting into him, deep inside his body and marking him as his own. Jack came onto the bedroll without even touching himself and grinned breathlessly, finally satisfied after a month of frustration.

Ennis pulled out of him and they collapsed onto the bedroll together, completely worn out. Ennis was asleep within moments but Jack lingered for a little longer, breathing heavily and now shaking from the cold. He pulled his jeans back up and sighed, shifting backwards slightly and curling up against Ennis. It had been rough and quick and certainly not about love, but he didn't care. It had still felt so good to experience that with Ennis and he hoped that they could progress to something more gentle next time. He wanted to kiss Ennis more than anything; to feel those rough lips on his and find out that they were actually quite soft.

He wanted Ennis to hold him and whisper things in his ear, to make love to him slowly and face to face. There was a slight desire to be inside Ennis one day, but that would have to wait. Something told him that Ennis was not ready for that yet and he had to be very respectful of Ennis's feelings right now. Tomorrow, he would tell Ennis that he had feelings for him and wanted them to continue this. Maybe then, he would get the kiss he wanted and so much more.