Chapter 23

August 4th, 1963

Ennis and Jack were holding each other close as they rested by the fire, having dragged the bedroll from the tent so that they could sleep under the stars. Jack suspected that Ennis was okay about this while under the cover of darkness, but he wondered about what might happen in the morning. What if Aguirre or someone from the Forest Service caught them in such a position?

He told himself that they had no control over that, and simply huddled closer to Ennis as they enjoyed the warmth coming from the fire. He loved how Ennis had his arms fully around him, as if he never wanted to let go. Jack felt strangely safe in his lover's arms, and so wished that he was looking at years of this once the left the mountain.

"You alright?" Ennis murmured, rubbing his back. Jack nodded.

"I'm just fine, Ennis...feels good..."

"Sure does, but...you know what would feel even more good?" he replied, hoping that Jack would catch on. Jack grinned.

"Are you comin' on to me, Del Mar?" he asked in amusement, and Ennis blushed. Jack smirked at him. "How d'you want it?"

Ennis gazed into his eyes. "Want you, um...you know..." He still had trouble with talking about the actual mechanics of sex with Jack, and he wished he could be a little braver. Fortunately, Jack seemed to understand.

"Sure," he murmured, nuzzling Ennis's nose with his own. "From the front? All fours?" He didn't think Ennis would want the latter, but it was courteous to ask how Ennis wanted it. He didn't want to go doing anything that would make Ennis uncomfortable.

Ennis considered the different ways in which they had discovered they could have sex in, and finally settled on what he wanted the most. "From the front," he whispered, wanting to see Jack's face and kiss him as they did it. "That okay?"

"That's fine," Jack assured him, wondering why Ennis had asked that. He too wanted to look into his lover's eyes and kiss his lips as they made love; there was nothing better as far as he thought. "Come on..." He nudged at Ennis until they were rolling over, Ennis on his back with Jack settled between his legs. He trusted Jack while in such a vulnerable position, and Jack knew that it wasn't easy for Ennis to let him do this no matter how much he wanted it. He felt privileged to have earned Ennis's trust. "Just relax," he encouraged as he smeared the grease over himself, nuzzling into Ennis's neck.

He felt something poking his stomach and grinned; Ennis was certainly ready for this. When he had prepared himself liberally so as not to hurt his lover, Jack spread Ennis's legs a little further apart and looked down at him. "You ready?"

Ennis swallowed down his nerves and nodded; he remembered the first time they had done it like this and hoped that it would still feel good. "Yeah," he replied shakily, trying to calm down and just let Jack take care of him.

Jack kept his eyes on Ennis's face as he slowly entered him, ready to stop if Ennis should ask him. But he didn't; Ennis's eyes slid shut and a look of pure pleasure appeared on his face. Jack smiled and kept going until they were tightly pressed together, him deep inside the man he loved and ready to show him how he felt. "You feel good," he whispered in Ennis's ear as he started moving, kissing his neck. "Love doin' this with you..."

He felt Ennis wrap his legs around his waist and tangled his hands in the blonde curls, keeping his movement fluid and steady. He loved it when they went slowly; it felt so much more like making love and he wished he could tell Ennis all of this. Maybe one day he could.

"Jack..." Ennis sighed, letting his head fall to one side and exposing his neck. "Feels good..." Jack kissed his collarbone and gently bit at his skin, knowing that Ennis liked that. Then he kissed his way up Ennis's neck to his jaw, drawing a low moan out of Ennis. Both of them were in pure bliss right now as they rocked together, Jack pressing their lips together firmly and finding Ennis's tongue within seconds. He trailed a hand down to lightly touch Ennis's erection and felt him buck upwards. Ennis moaned into his mouth and Jack could feel his chest heaving as he started leaking between them.

Ennis couldn't believe how Jack was making him feel; even though he was straining for release he still felt as if he never wanted Jack to leave his body. It just felt so right for him to be there and he knew he had it bad for this man. I love you, Jack...I swear I do...love you so fuckin' much...

Jack took hold of him properly and moved his hand along; it only took a few strokes and a couple more thrusts before he felt Ennis shooting at his stomach, a strangled yell escaping from his mouth as he bucked. Jack wasn't far behind, thrusting even as Ennis released between them until he felt himself coming, filling Ennis with his essence and feeling as though he'd branded him.

They collapsed together, Jack seeing stars as he rested his head in Ennis's collarbone. Ennis was staring up at the sky with wide eyes, gasping for breath and feeling as though this had been one of their best ever times. He felt Jack pull out of him and felt his heart sink a little; he wished he could hold onto Jack forever and the comparison wasn't lost on him. It was strangely symbolic of their whole situation; to let go or keep hold. He wasn't sure which one to do yet.

But as he lay there with Jack on top of him, a heap of tangled, warm and sticky flesh, he knew he'd never been happier in his life.