Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews and here is chapter 3.
Okay, look. I wasn't proud of the way I felt, but it was the way I felt, alright? Alex was my sister, how could I have a crush on her? But I did, and no matter how much I tried to deny it, it was the truth. I couldn't pretend it wasn't anymore.
I guess I had liked Alex forever. I always was more protective of Alex than most big brothers were of their younger sister. I just felt like I always needed to be there for her. She used to be okay with it. She used to love spending time with me.
Then she grew up. It happened slowly, like one of those sand timers. And I guess in some ways it was still happening. There were days when Alex wanted to be around me, but not even close to how it used to be, even a few years ago.
Most of the time it was like she just avoided me altogether, unless she was saying some rude sarcastic comment. But even that was better than ignoring me.
I wanted to have a relationship with her. Not a brother-sister relationship. A boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I wanted to kiss her, and make her feel special. But that's disgusting and wrong, and if she knew that about me, she'd hate me more than she already does. If that's possible.
That's why it hurt when Alex said that she didn't want me in her life. How could she possibly say that? Was it true, or just said out of anger and frustration? Either way, it hurt like hell and I felt like I was going to die.
I started crying, Alex asked why, I denied it. What was I supposed to say?
I'm crying because I have a crush on you and you hate me and there's nothing I want more than to kiss you right now.
Yeah freaking right. But she was persistent, so I ended up telling her that she hurt my feelings. I could tell she was about to start laughing even though she tried to cover it.
I wish she felt the same way, but of course she doesn't. Because that's disgusting. I'm disgusting. But I can't help but wish.
And to make it even worse, she decided to date Dean. Oh, I hate that douche bag so much. He does not deserve Alex in a million years. He's going to hurt her. But I had to agree to back off a little or I wouldn't even have the slightest relationship with Alex anymore.
I could tell she was still pissed off, but I think she cooled down a little. I didn't mean to make her mad, but did you see what Dean was doing to her? He was about to grab her ass! Which, in retrospect, is pretty normal for a teenage relationship, but still!
Why does he do it right in front of me? It would be better if he did it when I wasn't looking. Or maybe it wouldn't. Then I would always be wondering what he was doing to her.
I was almost positive that Dean was just gonna try to sleep with Alex and then break her heart, but Alex seemed so sure he wasn't.
It was probably just because she thought Dean was hot, which was something that he had over me, but maybe she was right. Maybe Dean really did care about Alex.
But it didn't seem likely based off of Dean's previous relationships.
"Justin, dinner's ready!" My mom knocked me out of my thoughts.
"Coming!" I returned. I got down there and everyone was already out there.
"Hurry up Justin, so we can eat!" Max exclaimed, staring anxiously at his spaghetti. I sat down and Alex started talking.
"So, Mom and Dad… Dean and I were wondering if maybe he could come over for dinner soon." She explained, taking a bite of spaghetti.
"It's about time I met this Dean you always talk about." Jerry agreed.
"Yeah, that should be fine, sweetie." Theresa smiled at Alex.
"Awesome!" Alex did a fist pump into the air. She looked down. "But please Mom and Dad… Please, don't embarrass me in front of him. He means a lot to me, and I don't want you two scaring him away."
Jerry rolled his eyes. "We'll do our best."
I couldn't listen anymore. This was making me sick. Why did Alex want Dean? She should want me!
"Mom, Dad, can I be excused?" I asked, trying to sound calm.
"But, sweetie, you barely touched your food." Theresa argued, pointing to my almost completely full plate.
"I'm not hungry." I stood up. "And, sorry Alex. I won't be able to come to your dinner with Dean—" Just saying his name pained me. "because I'm busy that day."
I turned to walk away.
"But I didn't even say what day it was going to be." Alex looked at me suspiciously. Crap. I should've paid more attention.
"Oh yeah, for some reason I just thought I heard you say a date." I said, trying to make the lie believable.
"Oh, well what day are you busy?" Alex asked.
"Um, next Wednesday." I made up.
"Oh good!" Alex smirked. "It's next Tuesday. You'll be able to come."
"Oh, yay!" I responded.
I walked up to my room and closed the door.
"Well this sucks." I muttered to myself. How was I going to be able to handle this? I could barely handle talking about Dean, let alone being with Dean. Somehow, I was gonna have to get through it. But how?
So you finally heard Justin's feelings although you probably already suspected them... Anyways please review and chapter 4 will be up soon!