Warning: Yaoi (ie maleXmale), possible spoilers, foul language, gore, made up pasts and locations, and whatever there is to come. The fanfiction is purely from my perception and deduction from the animanga put together. Therefore, if the characters seem OOC, I do apologise. Further apologies for any errors or typos in this fic.
One important note is that it is in Ravaille's POV, and well, sometimes his words don't follow his heart (?). This is to shape the story. I hope everyone's not too harsh on his behaviour I had molded out of him ;;;;;
Spoiler note: This is set when Eren is fully capable of controlling his transformation to his Titan form. Reiner and Bertholdt are normal/unrevealed. Just about the whole of the youngster cast are in Ravaille's scout platoon, and Ravaille's scouts are still alive... for now.
Prologue: Clash of the titans
Never fall in love, for death is an inevitable fate.
That was the vow I made when I was a young boy. I couldn't have been more than fifteen years old. I told myself to never love another person. Why? It was simple. They will all die, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.
To watch them being handled like ragdolls in the grasps of a hand thrice their sizes, or strung in the air like puppets to strings. To stare, wide-eyed, as their bodies enter an extended jaw, opened nice and wide seemingly to enjoy a slice of steak. Some were even smothered by a wet, long appendage, being tasted and licked in the manner a child did to candy before plunging to the depths I prayed when I was a boy, that I would never come to see.
Your past and environment shapes you; it was the truth. For someone like myself, who treaded on the path of danger, casting a blind eye to certain emotions was a benefit. In some cases, it could even be strength. Yet, to be blinded by emotions was another matter. It was a human weakness, vile and putting oneself to a disadvantage.
I'm not saying that the deaths of my comrades mean nothing to me. It is a mere push and shove of a delibitating emotion. I mourn, yes, but not for prolonged periods of time. Why? Mourning won't bring them back. Crying won't heal their wounds. Death was the absolute ruler that even titans lived under. This is just the way of life.
The resolution? Do not concern, and more importantly, do not love. For the sake of yourself, and even more ironically, for the person you do.
"Do you think he's always been like this?"
My eyes shifted from the map I had been analysing for the past five minutes or so, to the table adjacent to where I sat. Some of the new addition to my troupe were crowding around the table: Jaeger, Ackerman, Arleit, Springer, Braun and Fubar. Their attempt to keep their conversation low had been pathetic, considering their object of topic was seated a mere five feet away. Nevertheless, I remained unmoved, casting my eyes back to the map and pretending not to notice.
I doubt they even realised that I was there, seeing as all their heads were huddled closely together.
"Well, the corporal was rumored to be cold and heartless, but come on guys. His team is still here for a reason," Arleit tried to put in a few good words. Funny hearing that coming from him, considering he seemed to be the one who feared me the most. A mere look at him and he looked like a kicked puppy, tail curled between his legs.
Well, they aren't useful to me dead, I thought to myself, mentally replying to the statement.
"I respect him a lot, though. He's like an elite, amongst the elite. You've seen how he takes down the titans. He doesn't even blink an eye." This time, it was Braun who spoke. "Hey Eren, what are your views on the corporal?"
"Nothing much," Jaeger replied. "He fights great and all, but I think he should be a bit more expressive."
"And when did you become my emotional advisor?" I questioned out loud. From the corner of my eyes, I saw the group of youngsters, save Ackerman, jump and stiffen where they either sat or stood. Raising my gaze, I met with pairs of variable colored eyes with mixed emotions, ranging from fear to interest. Except for one pair, which was scowling my way.
"I'm just saying that it wouldn't hurt to be nice once in a while," Jaeger shot back, and I would've raised a brow if I actually gave a shit.
"I'm here to make sure you all stay alive, not spoon feed you cookies and compliments," I reminded, setting my map down on the table. I cued my own leave, because the last thing I needed was a child whining his complaints to me. Standing, I swiped up the map and started rolling it up, continuing: "Get your mommy to do that for you."
Jaeger's green eyes suddenly burned an ire that I had witnessed often. For a short fused person like him, to me, it was a simply a child's reaction when his toy was taken from him. However, it was an amazement that this kid was still alive, despite all his reckless endeavors I've come to hear about.
"Getting angry? Such petty emotions won't get you through, Jaeger. You're only courting death with such attitude," I taunted with a small grin on my face.
"It's a good thing that I don't die easily, then," the boy growled back.
Hearing those words, I slipped into a silence. That, unfortunately, was a fact. Jaeger wasn't immune to death, of course, but compared to the rest of us, he's a hell lot more resilient. More than anyone, more than myself. It was his gift and his curse to be a titan.
"No, you don't," I found myself replying without my own knowing. My body froze a little, belatedly realising that those words originated from me. More than that, it was because a particular thought crossed my mind.
Ending the conversation there, I left the room quickly, but hopefully not showing it. Even without looking, there was confusion in the air to why I had retreated. Usually, I'd give a piece of my mind. But right now, it was a little too distracted for its own good.
Never fall in love, for death is an inevitable fate.
What if the person doesn't die?
Thank you for reading! I hope you've liked it. Please, do leave a review/comment on this. With that, I bid you good days to come.
Also, totally out of context, I am giving away a free Vampire knight merchandise. Just go to my profile and find the fb link - it'll explain everything :D
Plus, I do status updates of my stories there. Feel free to come bug me X3