I'll explain later, but this is another one of my "Things that should already exist but don't" series of fics.

I do not own Borderlands.

"This is the story of how I died...Not that one! I'm super much more handsome and cooler then that guy!"

It was no secret that the bandits on Pandora were insane.

They have seen random people do the dumbest, most insane things on a daily basis. Between seeing midgets gladly barbeque themselves up in the name of false gods and seeing some men literally fall in love with their weapons, nothing really surprised the bandits anymore.

But the bandits of Southern Shelf were all completely dumbfounded when some random guy, walked into their base one day.

Normally, by the time a guy like him got that close to the base, he would have more bullets in him then an ammo vending machine. The bandits of the Southern Shelf were especially paranoid about strangers in their bases since the Vault Hunters raided their base and killed Captain Flynt about one and a half years ago.

But there was something completely different about this guy that completely dumbfounded the psychopaths of the base.

The guy himself could have been considered a little off. He wore orange vest with white stripe across the waste. Underneath that, he had a long-sleeved black shirt and a verity of straps and bandages around his waste. He had a dirty blond mohawk, light blue eyes, and a stupid grin on his face. He walked like somebody riding a bike for the first time, glancing down at his feet occasionally, and wobbling every few steps. It was possible he was drunk out of his mind.

But that was not the strangest part about him.

The strangest part about him was that he walked into a bandit camp completely unarmed, without a shield or anything.

By Pandora's standards, this was nothing short of suicide.

However, much like a train wreck, the bandits could not find it in themselves to do anything about it except look. They just sat back, staring as the guy walked into the middle of the camp before opening his stupid mouth to speak.

"Hello, illusions!" he stated with enthusiasm, in a high pitch voice that made some of the bandits cringe. "Please bring out your designated leader so I can end this nightmare already!"

The bandits stared for another second before, surprisingly, doing what the man asked.

Admiral Koal, the younger brother of Captain Flynt, proceed down from his base of operations to confront the strange man. Koal looked pretty much exactly like his brother but was slightly smaller. He went right up to the to the guy and glared down at him.

"Who the hell are ya, and why do ya can saunter in here like ya own the place?!" he shouted.

The man took a second to whip the saliva off his face before answering.

"Well, you see, this is a nightmare, and I want to wake up!" The man answered, his stupid grin returning

Koal stared for a second. "...What?"

"Yeah!" The man replied excitedly. "It's all kinda blurry. I must of fallen asleep, cause I was in Sanctuary before I was here, and there's no way I coulda made that entire trip. Unless I fast traveled," the man stroked his chin thoughtfully, "but I'm not registered! At least I don't think I am. Do you-"

"SHUT UP!" Koal shouted, shoving his shotgun against the man's head. "Ya don't seem like the bandit type, so what threads have ya gots here?"

The man thought for a few seconds, trying to understand what Koal meant by "threads." Realizing Koal meant "connections," the man snapped his fingers.

"Oh,yeah!" the man looked up, "You brother owned me!"


"Yeah! He would torture me, and torment me! Really anything that would feel horrible he did to me!" the man replied, far too excitably.

"Oh, yeah," Koal said, "That's exactly like my bro. Rest his soul."

They stood there in an awkward silence, before the man coughed. "So, anyway, as I was saying, I need you to shoot me in the face!"

Face McShooty would be proud.

"...Why would I do that?" Koal leered at the strange man. After a confused pause, Koal rephrased his question. "Why would I do that after you asked me to? I don't take no orders from some punk-ass pretty boy like you!"

"Well," the annoying man replied, "I was sorta kinda riding on the fact that you would want to avenge your brother, since I did kill him and all."

Koal paused and looked the man over. "You don't look like any of them Vault Vault Hunters, and it was them Vault Hunter's that killed my brother."

"But the Vault Hunters are MY minions! So, by some sort of proxy, I, in a way, killed your brother!"


"I'm Claptrap!"

Koal looked at the man, who claimed to be Claptrap, before throwing his head back, laughing. The rest of the bandits around the camp began laughing with him. After a few seconds, Claptrap joined in with the laughter, not understanding that they were laughing at him.

Koal finally managed to calm himself down. "Oh, Oh, I can see why ye wanna die, kid, thinking you're that moron! Alright!" Koal pushed Claptrap down to his knees, as he loaded his shotgun. "I'll do ye a solid: I won't force ye to go through the rest of yar life, thinking yarself to be some dumbass AI, and ye promise to blow yar head up nice and good! The boys could use some good entertainment since we got kicked out of the Underdome!"

Claptrap beamed up at Koal. "Thanks, illusion! Out of all of my imaginary friends, you are my third favorite!"

As Koal put the barrel to his head, it occurred to Claptrap that he didn't have dreams.

Meaning all of this was real.



"You would think that's where this story ends...Which is actually pretty reasonable, considering how I opened it. But, actually, it's a bit more complicated then that."

Thewhitespot Presents:

WAYWARD SON: The Claptrap Story

So I noticed that there are no Borderlands fanfics that play with the idea of Claptrap being a human in the same way that Portal Fanfics deal with those AI's becoming human. That probably has to with those robots being better developed as characters, but I thought it would be interesting to write a fic revolving around Claptrap.

Speaking of Portal Fics, this fic takes a lot of inspiration from wafflestories 's Blue Sky Portal fic, which is amazing and you should read that now instead of this crap.

Are you back? Good. I'm not going to openly follow the fic, beat by beat, but I might make an allusion to it, as I have with the title, which is the theme song to this fic, much like "Mr. Blue Sky" is for Blue Sky. Also, the summery is an allusion to the the summery of Blue Sky.

Remember, this is baby's first multichapter fic, so it might not update often, and it might not be great. I do think that the plot line I cooked up is pretty interesting, but I can't say anything about the dialog not being shit.

Please Read and Review, and, if you feel like it, it would really help if you left constructive criticism, preferably something that does not reference the time you had with my mother last night.

Have Fun :D

P.S.: The human Claptrap design is based off of a pic by Niscaner on Devientart (which is also the cover for this story). I admit that I did not really get their permission about using it, but i loved it so much that I'm going to try to make up for it by plugging them whenever I can. Check out their gallery!