Character(s) in Chapter: Kevin Barr, Eddward Double D Rockwell, Random Rep Women, Random Police Officers.
Character Mention in Chapter: Nathan Kedd Goldberg, Nazz, Marie Kanker, Eddy
Things to Know: Rehab, Drug Mention, Beating Mention.
Note: Hope my wonderful sort of ending satisfies you all. I call it a sort of ending because it's not really an ending; it's just a closing chapter. I wanna be able to go back and either write a squeal or short stories to go with this story of their future together.
Pissed couldn't even cover how fucking anger he was at this moment. Enraged was more like the emotion he was feeling. Yet again deep down, Kevin was strangely all broken inside as worry and hurt started to seep through the cracks. He couldn't understand all these raw emotions Double D could bring forth in him. It had been that way since that night he found the kid about to have his head smashed in with a bottle. Since then everything dealing with the nerdy/germ phobic dweeb made him feel like a shoe tossed into the dryer alone to bounce around from side to side against hard metal walls.
And the reason for all these new emotions was no thanks to Eddy and his get well gift of pain. The recording had been so bad he had been physically ill for hours after it. He'd never in his life had such a bad panic attack or whatever it was. He felt like he'd been there watching and unable to help him and he shook so bad in anger and fear for the whole thing, covering his ears to the Dweebs screams that echoed in his head.
After he had recovered, he tracked down Eddy, beat the shit out of him until he told him where Double D was, and then left without word. Now he stood outside the front of a large building called, Blue Creak Treatment Center. Kevin didn't understand how all this shit worked, but he was going to see Double D if he had to take down a fat wanna-be-guard and run around screaming his name until he showed.
Taking a couple deep breaths to calm his racing heart and mind, he walked in and looked around. It looked normal he guessed, he'd never been to a rehab center before. So, he had no idea what they were supposed to be like. The ones he'd seen on celebrity news looked like fricken condo's you rent on vocation. This did not look like condominium, but it was one of the best in the area.
The inside was big and comfortable looking like a nice hotel lobby and there was a girl sitting behind a large desk. Spotting her he made his way over trying his hardest to smile and look like he didn't wanna beat the shit out of somebody. When he got up to the desk, she looked up as she popped her gum and shuffled through crap on her desk before putting a clipboard with paper on the counter in front of him with all this shit written on it with a pen. She then went back to her convocation to some person on the phone about gossip or some shit like that.
'Your shitty me.' His jaw tightened as he read the paper and yanked the note out before tearing it up and placing it back on her desk. This was beyond annoying and fucking rude. After learning about where Double D had been he looked the place up and learned how fucking expensive it was just to be seen. And this little bitch was going to treat him like he just entered some, he didn't even know. He was treated better at roach motels in his past.
"Excuse me miss . . ." He narrowed his eyes as he read her name tag- "Brit, but I would like a moment of your oh so fucking precious time, if you could spare me some."
He snapped as he looked down at his text. One was from Nathan, asking him where the hell he was and the other from Nazz asking why Eddy had been beaten up? But he answered neither as he looked up to glare at the receptionist who had just spoken.
"What was that you just said, wanna say it to my face you little bitch?" He snapped. He had her heard on the phone speak, through his thoughts, to the other person she was speaking to and he didn't care what he said at the moment.
"If you keep using that language sir I will have to call security." She replied in whatever voice.
"Sure and why you're at it, you can call your fucking boss. So, I can tell them what a shitty little cunt you are."
With those words, she seemed to back down and Kevin felt pretty happy with himself as she sighed. "Sir, my name's Brittany and I'm at your every beck and call, how my I help you."
'Shit, even when trying she sucks and that smile is creepy.' "Well since you spoke to me so nicely, Brit and even said you'd be at my every beck and call; I wanna see one of your patients Eddward Double D Rockwell."
She raised a knowing eyebrow and went to work on her computer, before looking up. "Sorry good sir, but visitation are strictly to those are the list. May I have your name."
She looked up something and frowned. "I'm sorry sir; I can't allow you to visit. It strictly says not to allow you to see this patient."
"I don't give a fuck if the president wrote that shit. I wanna see Double D NOW."
She stood up to stand her short little ground. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave, dude."
"Did you just fucking dude, me? Serious, what kinda professional dudes their customers? Now before you have some smart-ass retort, I'm going to say this again nice and clear. If I don't get to see D, I will find my way around without your help."
He'd been so focused on the problem right at hand he failed to notice the presence that had made himself known quietly. The two were staring down at each other and she was about to say something when a voice spoke up.
"Greeting pumpkin, how nice to see you getting all heated over my case."
Kevin whirled around to stare at a figure leaning against the wall close by his head back and eyes closed. He could feel the anger soften slightly. He wanted to hate and rage at this idiot. But when he saw him; he saw the guy who had held him when he cried, fixed him when he was broken and taught his kid how to say I love Daddy.
"The bitch wouldn't let me see you." He replied in a softer tone, then just minutes ago.
"Language Kevin and I assure you, she was only doing her job." His voice was unemotional and he still hadn't bothered to look at Kevin or even open his eyes.
Despite his warm feeling that was irritating and just proved Eddies words even more true, this hurt. He had been so sure that the short shit had been mistaken about the fact, but Eddward refusing to open his eyes and look at him said more than words could ever say. He clenched his hands and stood his ground.
"Assuring her job huh? So, I'm guessing it's their job to let rehab patrons be visited by their drug dealer, so they can get high when the withdrawal is too much for them?" Kevin's words bit back a seeping malice in them.
"You believe you know everything, but I assure you that you do not." Was the retort Eddward came up with, still refusing to look at Kevin despite opening his eyes.
"If I don't know everything, look at me Double D . . . prove to me that I don't and that these people aren't complete fucking idiots who don't really give a shit about you, that they don't just want your money."
Kevin's voice pleaded to be proven wrong, he wanted so bad to see normal pupils staring back at him. But D made no move to comply with his request and Kevin's short anger turned to a saddening hurt. "See, you can't even man up to your own shit. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be here. You would be telling people to fuck off that it's your life and what you do is your choice."
Eddward turned to him anger smoldering in his eyes. Even from where Kevin stood he could tell his pupils were dilated from the effects of his high. "I don't fucking care! My presence here is not for myself, but the fact I was assured they could keep morons like you out and away from me."
He had never heard Double D curse before and now that had been at least the second curse word uttered around the redheads presence, since their first meeting. "You can't even lie to yourself D. You try so hard to hide behind that bad boy imagine. But deep down your real self is watching and crying out for that one person to see you for who you really are."
Edd stomped over, clenched fists and through a blow the minute he was close enough. Kevin took the hit, spitting out the blood onto the floor. He could see the stormy eyes glossed over, trying so hard to fight back that pain he had buried deep down under all the hate for the world around him.
"Yeah, hit me D. I know you're upset. I know you blame me for what happen dude. If I had opened my mouth that day, you wouldn't be here. No, you might be somewhere else in the world, doing something else that made you happy or worse you could be dead! But you know what we'd never know, because nobody knows their own future. You just have to be strong and try your best to survive whatever life throws at you."
He came at Kevin again, this time he lowered his shots, hitting him repeatedly with all the anger, before he was simply trying so hard to hold on to the shirt that belonged to the body that was his only ground, so he wouldn't fall under the weight of his own pain.
Kevin knew playing strong and becoming this person was a cry for help. It was a persona to help deal with all that he was put through, so that he wouldn't crack and break. But that persona was eating his real life and the lines between who he real was and the person he had become to protect that weak self were beginning to blur together.
"It's ok Double D, I understand you hate me and I as much as I wanna say I can understand what you been through, I can't. But, I'm here now and I'm willing to give us a second chance, if you so want that."
Kevin was sure he would get a weak yes, but instead the body clinging to him let go and he only had a moment to think before a palm met his face. He stubbed back holding his nose as his gaze met dark, tear filled eyes.
"FUCK YOU! What do you know, huh? Have you truly rationalized my objections as wanting a second try? What would even give a delusion as insignificant and silly as that?" He spat out coldly as he pointed an accusing hand in Kevin's direction.
"WHAT DO I UNDERSTAND? WHY WOULD I BELIEVE YOU WANTED THAT SECOND CHANCE?" Kevin yelled back as he made his way over and grabbed Double D by the front of his shirt. They glared back at each other, neither wanting to back down and give up.
"I'll tell you what I fucking understand. You Double D come back to live right across from your past, after all this time. You could of livid anywhere you wanted, but you went back to that place that started it all. What the hell does that tell me dude?" Kevin snapped back.
"Oh, I don't know . . . the possibility that I have the right as a human being! Have you ever considered, that there is a chance I enjoyed that place? Come on Barr, I know your brain is tiny, but please use reason before action." Eddward sarcastically replied as he pried the hands clenched on him off to stumble away to safety.
"No, D . . . nobody would choose to just walk into a past that was the reason for their suffering unless their crying for help. Unless there is a certain reason that brought them back and it's because they know that reason holds the key to ending their suffering." He calmly stated as he gazed at the police watching them that had showed up. It was nice to see they could argue so far without having it interrupted, maybe a new healing process?
"I have no basis NOR do I need a CAUSE to do whatever I please! AND I sure as hell don't need YOU, who I might add went back after departing as well, to tell me what the FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!"
Kevin felt sorry, he really did pity this dork at the moment. For somebody as smart as Double D to become like this, was humiliating in its own way.
"Your right, I did go back. I have a son to take care of, I have friends here that helped me get back on my feet and lifted me from that dark desolate place I was calling home. I was no longer just me at stake. I have to care of another now, that can't just go and take care of themselves. I couldn't go around making the same mistakes over and over, because I was unwilling ask for help with words."
Eddward stood there for a moment, before whipping the tears from his eyes as anger shown again. "You have a mother and father Kevin, who have always been there. You have no other justified statement to your actions then to wallow in the past, which is no longer there!"
Kevin's face dropped with that statement and his jaw clenched. He had to keep telling himself Double D didn't know, he didn't know what they had done. "Yeah, wish that statement was true D. I wish I could say I had parents that loved me no matter what. You aren't the only one left to struggle on your own, because they failed at being that parental protection no matter what."
Eddwards mouth opened to reply before he closed it. Kevin could see he had shut up that cocky mouth with something that hit to close to home, because new tears had found their way to his beautiful cyan eyes.
"But, you know what I don't care, not anymore at least. I use it to help built my daddy skills, so that my child never has to feel that pain. So, that no matter what happens to him, he will know I love him and I will do anything in my power to protect him until I take my last breath. And that night after my accident, I saw that strong parental fire burn through those beautiful eyes that told me I'm clean, even if it was just a short time; not because you couldn't get the product, but because for that moment my child's safety was far more important the need to be high."
Kevin smiled as he spoke, stepping forward and holding out his hands as Double D stared at him with a shocked look and tears running down his cheeks.
"I-I don't know what gave you that impression, for I was only settling the debt you left me at that point in time with. I want nothing to do with the lives of you or your offspring. I need not to change who I am, due to there being nothing amiss with me. I demand no resolution, because I am whom I love. I am independent; nobody can hurt me the way I am and I will never allow anybody take that from me!"
Yet despite his words, he let Kevin wrap his arms tightly around him and he sobbed into his chest. Laying his head on D's he spoke with his heart. He wished no longer to hide how he felt for the other and he wanted his decision on the future made loud and clear.
"It's ok, I won't speak your words for you dude and I'll allow you to decide to take the second step. Just remember everybody deserves a second chance, no matter what society labels him or her as. I'm not asking you to become weak and change you who are. I'm asking you the exact opposite. I asking you to grow strong and admit you need help, I'm asking you to show the world who you really are, instead of hiding behind somebody that you have hid behind so long you've forgetting just who you were.
I'm letting you know that asking for help doesn't not take away your independence nor is anybody allowed to hurt you, if you don't let them. I may not be able to protect you from everything, but I can sure as hell be there for you when your battered, bruised ego and body comes back.
I learned that when your mom hit you, I learned that when you were driven away from me, I learned that when I watched my best friend's love of his life die right before our eyes on stage, ina sick and gruesome fate. Some of us are never given that second chance in life; you were the one that told me that Edd. Don't be one of those people who waste that chance.
I'll wait Double D, you have until the end of your month's rent. If I haven't seen you by that time, I'll have my answer. I will no longer wait, I will no longer pray, your second chance will be over and your be forever be lost. . . . That is a promise."
With that, he slipped Eddwards hat up just slightly and kissed the start of scar on his forehead, before walking past him and leaving him to decide his future.
Almost two months had passed, the time nearing the end of the lease was almost up and he hadn't seen or heard hide of Eddward. Nathan become more busy with whatever was preoccupying his life. Nazz was making big plans with her girlfriend, about having a baby. Sarah was helping her big brother with something about comics. Jimmy was doing a huge photo shot project with a name brand company. Rolf was doing Rolf things, like taking care of his house and his animals with his girlfriend; who Kevin still hadn't gotten to meet. Him on the other hand was burying himself in being a clingy daddy and workaholic when Nazz or Nat could spare some free time.
Nobody said anything to Kevin about D's vanishing act and he had stopped bring it up after the scene they had made in the rehab center. It was like none of it had happened, no matter how clear the pictures; it was like it was only fiction or an imperfectly formed contradiction. Well, at least that would had be nice to think, but every time he got undressed in the mirror he was presented with a beautiful scar from the bullet that opened and the knife that sealed him up. Reminding him of the night, he was right there with him. So close yet so far away still and every time he saw it a little more of his heart broke.
"Kev, you ready dude?"
Kevin stopped looking at the scar on his side and sighed before throwing the shirt he was holding on and butting it up. Hit outfit wasn't anything special, just a black button up and his leather pants thrown on last moment that seemed clean enough. After he was done, he looked at the red cap and grabbed it as he raced out the room and down the stairs. Kissing his sons smiling face and saying goodbye to Nazz he mounted his bike and headed to the bar.
The place was packed more so than normal, which was nice. A heavy crowed always dissipated those lingering thoughts that Kevin had of Eddward giving that second chance up. He was back stage at the moment with his group, well the group he happened to be working with tonight. He didn't actually have a band or anything, too much responsibility he didn't have time for. So, groups needing a singer or guitarist used him during the summer months when Nazz was down here to watch his kid.
He could feel the energy of the bar from back here and he was feeling a little ecstatic, he was unsure what was so special tonight, but at this moment he didn't care. He just wanted to get on stage and sing his heart out. It was cool that the bands who had him singing always allowed him to pick the song he was in the mood for that night and tonight he'd picked a new song, he'd written it that night of his and D's fight. It was going to be one of those nights he was going to sing his heart out and go home drunk as hell. Though, he wouldn't be driving his bike home, he was cool with that. He took a taxi set up for him and the bike would be moved in here for the night.
After he was done helping the guys out making sure everything was fixed up he heard them called. He fist bumped them before making their way up on stage to set up. He was standing at his mike bouncing on his toes as he waited for the guys to get in place. When they were done, the lights on the stage turned, the crowd cheered and he waved with a smile. He looked back at the guy starting the melody and he held out his hand to count the beat before he through his hand down and he went back to face the crowed. His voice came over the mike and he sung with all his heart as he swayed to the music.
"My best friend gave me the best advice, he said each day's a gift and not a given right. Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind. And try to take the path less traveled by. That first step you take is the longest stride!"
He took the mike off the stand and started to bounce around the stage as he the music picked up. "If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late. Could you say goodbye to yesterday? Would you live each moment like your last? Leave old pictures in the past? Donate every dime you have? If today was your last day?"
As the music slowed down again he kicked his feet against the floor and shuffled back to the forgotten mike. (If today was your last day) "Against the grain should be a way of life. What's worth the prize is always worth the fight. Every second counts 'cause there's no second try. So, live like you'll never live it twice. Don't take the free ride in your own life!"
He took the mike off the stand and started to bounce around the stage as the music picked up, but his bounce faltered when a figure in the back caught his attention and his heart soared. And like new life was burning though him he sung, oh god Kevin sung, sung like if he'd didn't sing the world would end.
"If today was your last day? And tomorrow was too late? Could you say goodbye to yesterday? Would you live each moment like your last? Leave old pictures in the past? Donate every dime you have? Would you call old friends you never see? Reminisce old memories? Would you forgive your enemies? Would you find that one you're dreamin' of? Swear up and down to God above, that you finally fall in love? If today was your last day?"
And as the song made took a moment of music he took the mike, hopped off the stage and song his way through the crowed, high fiveing as he kept his eyes locked on ones locked on his as he passed ever pretty girl up in that bar that would want nothing better to take him home of the night.
"If today was your last day? Would you make your mark, by mending a broken heart? You know it's never too late, to shoot for the stars, regardless of who you are. So, do whatever it takes! Cause you can't rewind, a moment in this life. Let nothin' stand in your way, Cause the hands of time are never on your side!"
By the time he reached his second chance, it was time to head back to the stage as the last chorus was going to be sung. So, with I mind he took the other's hand and pulled him along, despite his protest . On his returned to the stage he sung as he walked back, never wanting to break the stare he held with the one he loved.
"If today was your last day? And tomorrow was too late? Could you say goodbye to yesterday? Would you live each moment like your last? Leave old pictures in the past? Donate every dime you have?"
By this time, his partner had given up protest and a smirk sliding over his perfect lips. Just as he did, he pulled Kevin close; one arm wrapped around his arm to help hold the mike, why the other wrapped around Kevin's waist to hold the small of his back as they both sung into the mike.
"Would you call old friends you never see? Reminisce old memories? Would you forgive your enemies? Would you find that one you're dreamin' of? Swear up and down to God above, that you finally fall in love? (Finally fall in love) If today was your last day?"
They walked together letting the rhythm of music be their guide as they danced to the music like a tango just the two knew. A body to body, heart to heart, soul to soul tango that left them forgetting just where they were and the only thing they saw was the utter look in each eyes that was unweaving love and devotion to a future they couldn't deny each other anymore.