The Big O and all of its settings and characters are owned by Cartoon Network, Sunrise, and Bandai Visual. No profit can be made off this story.
THE BIG O Presents:
Roger the Disciplinarian
This city, Paradigm City is a city of amnesia.
"Dorothy!" Roger Smith bellowed as he stood in the doorway in his pajamas. "R Dorothy Wayneright! Did you forget that I wanted to sleep in this morning?"
"You did sleep in Roger," the girl replied calmly from across the room at the piano. "You slept in until noon. It is no longer morning."
"I was up all night talking down that jumper!" Roger protested. "He was standing on the roof of the Belmont Building and I had to be up there with him the whole time! I got home after three o'clock in the morning last night."
"I know Roger. I waited up for you. Norman was quite worried."
"How do you think I felt?" Roger snarled. "I came home completely drained mentally and physically, and all I wanted to do was sleep 'til doomsday!"
"That's a long time from now Roger," Dorothy replied. "Your request just wasn't realistic."
"Not realistic!" Roger sputtered. "Now Dorothy, I've never wanted to hit a woman before, but believe me you're becoming an exception!"
"I find that offensive Roger but I'm gratified by the fact that you think of me as a woman and not just an android," the girl retorted. "But since I am an android, should you decide to strike me, try not to break your hand on my face. My cheekbones are composed of a ferrous based ceramic alloy."
"What would happen if I kicked your butt?" Roger grunted as he rubbed his eyes groggily.
"That should be safe, assuming you miss my hips," she replied without batting an eyelash. "My hindquarters are well padded. Feel free to pound away back there all you want."
"Wait, what?" Roger blinked, suddenly awake and alert. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"I said that my posterior has padding that should make it safe for a human to strike me there," the girl clarified. "But I must warn you should you actually try it to take care not to miss my gluteus maximus because my hips are constructed from the same ferrous ceramic alloy as my cheekbones are."
"I'm sorry I thought you said something different," he blushed. "Something about… never mind."
"I'll see if Norman is finished cooking you breakfast," the girl said as she got up from the piano. "I better make you a cup of coffee. You're not yourself this morning."
Roger's mood did not improve noticeably at breakfast. "Ugh this coffee is too sweet, it's like drinking syrup!" he gagged as he set his cup down on the table in disgust. "I told you that I didn't want sugar. I want my coffee the way I like my clothes: basic black."
"The caffeine in the coffee causes your body to use up its fuel," Dorothy explained. "The human body uses sugar for fuel. I was merely trying to replenish your energy reserves."
"Black coffee isn't good for you," Dorothy clarified.
"Don't I get to decide that?" Roger complained.
"Humans seldom do what's good for them," Dorothy said.
"Human beings have free will, and that includes what they put in their coffee," Roger insisted. "Honestly Dorothy, why do you do these things?"
"If you paid attention you would know why Roger Smith."
After he got dressed, Roger got to work and set up a cork board on a wall where he tacked all the clues he had collected to solve a mystery that had stumped Paradigm City's Military Police. A client had wanted to meet with Roger but had been murdered before she could do so. Roger always saw a job through to the end and was attempting to identify the murderer on his own. When he got like this, he often neglected all other priorities.
That was why when his telephone rang, he was far too busy to answer it or talk to anybody.
Dorothy answered the phone for him. "Hello. Roger Smith's residence. Dorothy Wayneright speaking. I see. Just a moment."
When she looked up from the telephone on Roger's desk Roger glanced at her from the chair he had set up in front of the cork board. "I'm busy. Tell them I'm not here," he said to the little android.
"He says he's not here," Dorothy said into the telephone before she hung up.
"Argh!" Roger groaned as he clutched his forehead. "R Dorothy Wayneright! What the hell is the matter with you?" he bellowed.
"I don't know what you mean."
"You play the piano every morning!" he yelled as he closed on her and pointed an accusing finger.
"It was noon," she said calmly. "You know I play the piano whenever you don't get up on time."
"You put sugar in my coffee again!"
"Roger we've been through this. Black coffee isn't good for you."
"And when I say 'tell them I'm not here…!'"
"You didn't tell me not to say that."
"…Don't tell them 'he says he's not here!'" Roger sputtered. "So I'll ask you again: What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you do these things to me? Are you malfunctioning or something?"
"Are you angry with me Roger?"
"Yes!" Roger pulled at his hair before waving his arms and shouting at the ceiling. "Yes, I am mad at you! What was your first clue?"
"I'm merely acting within the parameters you set for me."
Roger groaned again and put his hands over his face. When he looked at her again, he had regained some of his composure. "It's not your fault Dorothy," he sighed. "You never lie, and you do what you're told." His voice suddenly became a whisper. "And some things you're not told," he added quietly before returning to a normal tone. "Look, maybe this is impossible, but I wish you would just try to act more like a human being. You've got to show a little flexibility once in a while. You just can't be a slave to routine. Try to show a little humanity, do you know what I mean?"
"Act like a human being," the girl repeated. "You mean act selfishly and indulge in my own pleasures? It's an odd request but I'll get right on it. Excuse me," she said as she turned on her heel and left the room.
"Wait! Dorothy!" Roger called. "That's not what I meant! Dorothy! Come back here! Oh forget it."
Soon Roger was scouring the white skyscraper that he had claimed as his home for the girl. He didn't find Dorothy but he did find his personal valet Norman Burg in the kitchen. "Norman what's gotten into Dorothy lately? Is it my imagination or has she gotten worse?"
The one eyed old man winked, for it was impossible for him to blink. "Really, Master Roger? I hadn't noticed. She always acts like a perfect lady around me."
"So she's only acting up when I'm around?" Roger sighed as he leaned on the counter with his hands in his pockets. "I don't know whether to be honored or horrified. Have I done something to upset her lately?"
"I'm afraid I can't think of anything sir," Norman apologized. "Nothing in particular other than the usual," he added in a stricter tone.
"Normally she's such a disciplined little thing," Roger grumbled. "But now I never know what she's going to do. It's almost as if she's going out of her way to prove to me that she's a woman and not just an android."
"Yes sir, my thoughts exactly," Norman said dryly. "As if she's going out of her way to show you she's a woman and not just an android."
"Honestly, when I took her into my home, I didn't expect this!"
"What did you expect if I may be so bold sir?"
"I don't know," Roger shrugged helplessly. "A logical android, or an obedient child, something like that."
"Miss Dorothy is much more mature than she appears Master Roger."
"She's much more childish than she appears Norman," Roger corrected.
"I beg to differ sir," Norman said in an apologetic tone. "There are several fathers in the neighborhood with teenage girls and they describe them as absolute terrors. Compared to the teenage girl she appears to be, Miss Dorothy is remarkably obedient and well behaved."
"Then what's wrong with her?" Roger moaned.
"I can't say sir," Norman shrugged. "Perhaps the fact that you've been so busy these last few weeks has affected her behavior. She was created to be her father's daughter after all. Perhaps she feels neglected."
"Norman? Are you saying that she's acting out to get my attention?"
"Am I sir?" the old man asked innocently. "Well, now that you mention it, it seems a reasonable assumption. After all that kind of behavior seems logical whether she's a woman or a girl, wouldn't you say?"
"Yeah," Roger groaned and shook his head. "Sure."
Roger finally caught up with her in the last place he expected. She was in his bedroom going through his underwear drawer. In her hands was a pair of boxer shorts made of black silk satin. She was delicately caressing her cheek with it and her eyes opened the moment Roger came in the door.
"Dorothy?" he asked carefully. "What are you doing?"
There was a pause. For a moment the android was as still as a statue as the drive in her head whirred audibly. Then she finally looked at him and spoke. "I'm acting like a human being Roger," the girl explained. "Instead of doing my chores I'm selfishly indulging in my own pleasures."
"That wasn't what I meant… Wait a minute," Roger said as his cheeks began to blush. "Indulging in your own pleasures? What do you mean?"
"My skin has tiny microfilament sensors that give me feedback," the girl explained. "I can tell if something is rough or smooth, I can feel pleasure or pain. In that way I'm just like a normal girl. However, I don't have the reflexive involuntary reactions to stimuli that humans do. My involuntary reactions would seem strange so I keep my behavioral overrides engaged."
Roger frowned as he tried to separate the important information from the technobabble. "Wait, did you say that you can tell the difference between pleasure and pain Dorothy?"
"I believe I just said that," the girl replied.
"Then what are you doing with my underwear?"
"This particular pair is composed of the smoothest fabric I've encountered so far," Dorothy explained. "I find the sensation of caressing myself with it quite stimulating. Do you wear these often Roger Smith?"
Roger gulped. The only time he wore that particular pair was when he was entertaining a comely female overnight guest! "N-no!" he stammered. "Put those away! What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong with me. I'm acting like a human being as instructed," she said. "I'm indulging in selfish activity that I find pleasurable, like when you consume an alcoholic beverage."
"That's completely different!" Roger shook his head. "At least I'm still acting like a gentleman!"
"I was led to believe that the consumption of alcoholic beverages often leads to ungentlemanly behavior," the girl countered, "and besides, isn't alcohol technically a poison? I would think that kind of indulgence would be self-destructive. At least what I'm doing is harmless."
"Put those away right now!"
"I assure you my hands are clean and I don't sweat so you don't have to…"
"Put 'em away!" Roger pulled his silk boxers out of her hands. Blushing furiously he folded them and put them back into his drawer.
"Are you angry with me Roger?"
Roger ran his hands through his hair and laughed in frustration. "Yeah, you could say that." He turned to face her. "You said that you can feel both pleasure and pain? Good because I finally think I know how to discipline you," he snorted as he walked past her and sat down on his bed.
"What do you mean by that?" she asked without turning around.
"I mean it's been staring me in the face all this time," Roger grunted. "I don't know exactly when you were constructed but I'd be amazed if it was more than five years ago. Basically you're still a child so I'm going to treat you like one. Come over here and accept your spanking."
Since Dorothy wasn't facing him, he didn't see her eyes light up. "Did you say you want to spank me?"
"I don't want to spank you but it looks like I have to," he muttered. "Come on," he added as he slapped his thigh. It's time for your punishment. Get over here."
Dorothy clasped her hands and grinned, but since her back was facing him Roger didn't see her radiant smile. When she turned and walked over to him she had the same dour look on her face she usually had.
"Okay, bend over and lay down on my lap," Roger ordered. "Let's get this over with."
She surveyed his lap for a moment before complying.
"Okay, now disengage those behavioral overrides of yours so I can tell if I'm getting through to you," he ordered. "When I spank you I want to know if it hurts."
"All right Roger," she dutifully replied. "My behavioral overrides are disengaged."
"Okay then," Roger took a breath before bringing his right hand down on her peach shaped rump.
"Ooh!" Dorothy squealed before giggling girlishly.
"Dorothy if that was supposed to be crying that was pathetic," Roger snorted. "If you're going to fake an emotion you might as well try for the right one. I don't know if this hurts or not."
"I guess you'll just have to spank me harder Roger Smith," the girl retorted. "It's the only way to be sure."
"You're asking for it," Roger sneered.
"Yes I am."
Roger paused before deciding not to fall for Dorothy's reverse psychology. This was a battle of wills for dominance in his own house and he was not going to come in second best.
"Okay here it comes," he muttered as he gave her bottom another smack.
"Oh!" Dorothy gasped before covering her mouth with her hands.
"There, you happy now smart guy?" Roger sneered. "Do you want another one?"
"Yes please," she answered promptly.
We Have Come to Terms