"Our Addictions"
Category: V, Monologue
Rating: PG
Spoilers - "Sandoval's Run," "Crossfire," "Sins of the Fathers"
Summary: Sandoval is offering. Can Da'an refuse?
Notes: Follow up to "Your Creation"

"Just a little taste," I say, holding the kryss in front of you. Take it, Da'an, I know you want to. Just get another good taste of death, I'll gladly provide for you, take care of you...just like I have since you first appointed me your attaché.

You're starting to blush, aren't you? Uncomfortable? Suffering withdrawal pangs? Good. How does it feel?

"A lifetime supply, much more pure than the artificial substitute. I have it. All you have to do is ask me."

Your hand is moving. Are you going to beg? I can think of few things that would be sweeter to my ears right about now.

I lived for two years the way you are now, Da'an. The only thing that has changed is our positions. You're now the one coming to me rather than the other way around. The MI made me dependant, servile, warping my mind and body in ways I'll bet the kryss is doing to you now. I was addicted, hopelessly so. Addicted to a kind look or a veiled bit of praise. You had me groveling like a dog. You'll remember that I even put my wife in the mental ward to satisfy my addiction to you. Both our addictions appear to depend on causing pain to those closest to us. Oh, Kincaid tried to hide in the kryss field, but I saw him. I wonder if you sent him there yourself...

The first step in my recovery? Well, it was when I stopped getting my fix of Taelon praise, I think. The day you ignored me to go spar with Boone. Now, granted, he was a better man than I'll ever be, but I seemed to be cast aside from your attention after all I'd sacrificed. It was a cold wake-up call, but only the first.

Then, I gain my sobriety. The CVI keeping me enslaved to that addiction snapped, and I was free. Only for a matter of hours, but I saw the ugly truth behind those angelic facades you like to wear and I swore I would not go back to that addiction - even if it meant death. Boone managed to catch me...there was something funny about him, though I never pinned down just what until Marquette tried to destroy the Mothership. He must have been immune to your little addiction. He must have had a free mind. Small wonder you liked sparring with him, Da'an. I'll bet having a human as something other than a groveling slave was a challenge you never expected.

Is your hand pulling away, Da'an? I can read it in those eerie blue eyes of yours. You want this badly. I'm offering it...no strings attached this time. Maybe next time, but not yet.

I'm perfectly sober now, of clear mind and far from dependant on you. You realize better than any Taelon just how far the tables have turned. That fool you call a Protector won't help you as he's too busy with the Resistance (though I can't prove it), and the one who might have protected you from me is long dead, thanks to Zo'or.

It's just you and me. I'm offering - will you take it?