Authors note: Hey guys this is my first story after reading a lot of Brittana fics so please be kind!
First massive thanks to Hlnwst for BETA'ing even though she is super busy, much appreciated :)
Second Fanwriting thanks to you too! If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have even started writing let alone post something so thanks and thanks for the poster too :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee!
The echoes of my black heels surround me in the auditorium where I've had so many life altering moments. I feel so comfortable here, but as I walk over to the stage to…her, I feel like this is another one of those moments. My heart is slowly breaking because I know this is it, this is the end for me and her. I can't even bring myself to speak out loud I just try my best to smile and offer her my hand, pull her up and embrace her. "I'm really going to miss you," she whispers as we leave the stage for the last time as a two-shot.
That was four years ago, I can't help thinking back to that day when we said our goodbyes before she went off to MIT and I returned back to chasing my dreams in New York. I haven't seen Britt since that day and I usually try really hard not to think about her at all because of the pain I feel every time I let myself remember. Eventually, over the years, the pain dulled to a constant yet manageable ache. I'm only allowing myself to remember her now because it's my birthday. Today I turn 23 and as a present to myself, I am allowed to remember. Her bright blue eyes that were clearer than any ocean, her beautiful blonde hair that was as soft as silk and God, her smile - the smile that could melt the coldest of hearts. After all, it managed to melt mine. We used to spend every birthday together, whether it be when we were young and having sleepovers, enjoying 'sweet lady kisses'. Or sneaking in to bars with our fake ID's and dancing the night away whilst flirting with guys to get our drinks, finishing the night in one of our beds entwined in every way possible - limbs, hearts and souls.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't have other people to celebrate my birthday with. I would just pick to spend it with Brittany every. Single. Time. Living in New York all this time, I finally discovered my dream. I became a songwriter after debuting some of my songs at open mic nights around NYC I eventually got noticed by a producer from Sony. Rachel and Kurt were so happy for me and, of course, were both eager to offer me their expertise which I obviously declined. I mean, I am Santana freaking Lopez. I don't need anyone's help. Besides, Rachel was busy with Broadway and Kurt was no longer interning at Vogue, but was actually on Isabelle's pay roll doing something fashion related. I didn't really pay attention when he told me his new position. Turns out, I could actually delve deeper in to my feelings than I managed with my original song Trouty Mouth. After two years or so, I was finally earning a decent amount of money and becoming quite successful so I decided to move out and stand on my own two feet without Thing One and Thing Two. The send off they gave me was, understandably, the emotional extravaganza of the year. You wouldn't expect anything less coming from the two most dramatic people in history and I may have even shed a tear when it came to leaving, but I stand by the story that I had something in my eye.
So this brings me to the present, sitting here by myself on my huge comfy sofa that I literally sink into. Having money to spend on nice things is awesome and my sofa is definitely one of my more expensive indulgences. I had offers from the deadly duo and friends from work but my schedule has been so hectic that I really needed to take a day to relax before things get busy again. This has led me to watching Sweet Valley High, cuddled into my Snuggie and reminiscing about the good old days with her. Even though I am now successful, living the dream she always wanted for me, I still feel unfulfilled, like something is missing. I am not the scared little girl anymore who would deny these feelings. I've matured into a young adult now and I need to face my feelings head on. I miss her. She is the missing piece to my puzzle, my ying to her yang, just my…everything. Breaking up with her was without a doubt the most stupid thing I have ever done in my life and that is no easy feat to accomplish because I have done some incredibly stupid stuff, mostly involving how I denied Britt or pretended I was straight and used Karofsky as my beard - one word gross. But indeed, breaking up with Britt - by song no less - because of an "energy exchange"...I mean what the hell? Maybe I should have pleaded temporary insanity. That is the only possible explanation I have come up with over the years.
I finally get broken from my depressing inner musings by the message tone on my phone. Who runs the world? Girls! I cut it off as quickly as I can. Definitely not what I needed to hear today.
Thing 1: Santana are you sure you do not want to celebrate your birthday with Kurt and me? We will have a Barbra movie marathon!
Santana: Yes Berry I'm sure I would rather watch paint dry.
Thing 1: Ok Santana have it your way, enjoy the rest of your day
Rachel will never fail to surprise me, always being so nice even if I am down right rude to her. It's nice to know some people are actually willing to put up with my bitchiness or more, they really know it's just a stupid defence mechanism. Maybe I haven't matured as much as I thought. Once again, I am brought out of my thoughts by a quiet, hesitant knock on my apartment door. Brow furrowed, I contemplate who it could possibly be and how they got up without me buzzing them in? But I hear the knock again and let out a loud groan as I pry myself out of my Snuggie and roll to the end of the sofa before I can push myself up. With a gargantuan effort, I stand smooth out my pyjamas and grumble to myself whilst walking to the door. I hear the knock again before I have chance to answer it. "Alright, I'm coming! Calm your tits!" I shout, severely unhappy at being disrupted from my quiet time.
Eventually, after what feels like a lifetime, when really is (it's) only a few seconds, I reach my apartment door ready to unleash Snixx on whoever has the nerve to disturb me. As soon as I jerk open the door, I feel a chill run through my whole body and the breath stripped from my lungs so fast I feel like my knees are about to give way. Standing there in front of me is Brittany, but it's not my Brittany. This girl in front of me doesn't have that innocent aura around her, her earth shattering smile isn't present, the blonde hair looks dull and lifeless and her eyes... I feel my heart break again trying to look into her eyes. They aren't the clear blue I love so much, the eyes that haunt my dreams. They are stormy, full of pain, fear and hesitancy. But what's the most awkward is she is doing all she can to avoid any eye contact with me. Britt is nothing if not confident. She never avoids eye contact. It makes me feel sick looking at this version of Britt.
"Britt?" I breathe out to try to get her attention.
"Happy birthday, San," she whispers with a quiver in her voice.
"Uh..." I manage to get out before my attention is snapped from Britt's face and I finally take in all of her and that is when I am 100% sure I am going to pass out because in her arms, wrapped in a blanket, is a baby.
Final author's note: I know this was really short but it's just a prologue of sorts and to get me writing! Also a heads up Sam is NOT the Father nor will he even be in this story!