AN: I am so sorry for the wait, but I have very legitimate reasons I swear, and I wont torture you with them! But anyway here it is. Also some fic recs for you: There is no-one else like me by lonegambit, green and red, a short 3 shot. Also taken by killercereal and quell by swingingcloud!
Hope you like it!
"Wait, what? You don't want to press charges?" I breathe out trying desperately to not go to the yelling place.
Unfortunately though I'm not quite sure how long I will be able to avoid it.
"Britt, he needs to pay for what he did to you!"
"I'm not pressing charges Santana and that's the end of it." Brittany snaps, as she pulls away from me.
I can tell her walls are building up rapidly and I take a deep breath to regain some composure because I really don't want to be on the outside of her walls again.
It hurts too much.
"Just leave it Santana, it's my decision, I don't want to press charges OK? Now I'm going to bed are you coming?" She questions me and I can tell by her tone that this discussion is over.
Brittany doesn't even wait for me to respond before she is heading to the bedroom and closing the door behind her. I throw myself back on to the sofa in exasperation, wincing in pain as I am not so subtly reminded of my head injury. But even the pain isn't enough to quiet my mind as it continues to spin, going through possible reasons why Britt would not want to press charges. I mean the guy basically tortured her emotionally and physically for years why would she want to let him get away with that. Does she not want to keep herself and Daniella safe? Look how easily he found her and what damage he did!
I force myself up and head to the kitchen to get a glass of water and hopefully calm down. The cold water snaps me out of my racing thoughts and I just focus on the cold sensation making its way down my throat, almost as if it's actually putting out the burning flames of anger that are simmering beneath my skin. Taking one last deep breath trying to soothe myself I release it slowly and can feel the events of the past 24hours catching up with me as exhaustion starts to creep up.
I candidly head towards my bedroom, wondering if I can actually sleep next to Britt without voicing my anger over this situation long enough for me to fall asleep. Although I really don't think I could sleep without her now, I need to feel her close to me to convince myself she is safe.
But how long will we be safe for? He's going to be free soon.
I roll my eyes at my stupid brain and gently open the door to find Brittany sat up on the bed her eyes automatically connecting with mine and the intensity of her gaze sends a shiver down my spine. I can read the apologies pouring out of them and I just accept her apologies with a tired smile before walking over and climbing up next to her. No words need to be exchanged we both just automatically curl into each other and quicker than I expect Britt falls asleep, the traumatic events of the day catching up with her. Before sleep overcomes me I find myself hoping my dreams will provide me with some much needed respite from reality.
I'm woken up to Britt's soft voice whispering my name and her hand delicately brushing my hair out of my face. I sigh out in content because simple affection feels so good. The serene moment quickly passes though, when I register the pounding in my head. Scrunching my face up in protest, I slowly open my eyes to find Britt sat on the side of the bed smiling gently at me. I try to smile back but I am pretty sure it comes out as more of a grimace the pain seems to be increasing rapidly. Britt must sense my distress because she quickly leans over to the bedside table and hands me some pills.
"Here are some painkillers they should help, and I also made you some breakfast."
I quickly turn to the left and notice a pile of steaming pancakes and I can smell freshly brewed coffee. This time I manage a proper smile in thanks to Britt before I desperately swallow down the pain killers.
"Thanks Britt, what did I do to deserve such special treatment?" I ask her quietly.
"Uhm it's kind of a peace offering, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that last night and I am so sorry you didn't deserve it." She sincerely tells me.
"It's Ok Britt, but we are going to have to talk about it at some point today." My tone leaves no room for argument.
I watch her just nod in acceptance before she places a kiss on my forehead and walks away leaving me to eat my breakfast alone. I stuff my face as fast as I can craving my Daniella fix for the day, that little girl just makes everything so much brighter, I can't imagine not having her in my life now she is here. Britt has always been the sun to my darkness but with Daniella too it's as Britt would like to say, a double rainbow. Quickly shoving on some sweats and a t-shirt, and tossing my dressing gown in the laundry basket.
Walking out to the lounge I find a very awake baby girl sat in her rocking chair, and I couldn't stop myself even if I wanted too as I gravitate towards her, with a big smile on my face.
"Good morning baby girl, look at you all bright and blue eyed, just like your mama." I whisper to her lovingly. "Have you had your breakfast too this morning huh? I bet you are ready for your bath now." I tell her softly and then quickly back away as I am proven correct when I get a whiff off her smelly nappy.
"Mija, how does someone so innocent looking produce something so fowl?" I question her with a raised eyebrow.
"Britt?" I call out, wondering where the girl has got too.
"In the kitchen!"
"Be right back mija." Placing a kiss to her forehead I leave her and head towards Britt.
I find Britt cleaning the kitchen and she looks like she has been at it for a while, the whole space is spotless. I don't ever remember it being this clean when I first moved in.
"Uhm B, what are you doing? You don't need to do that, you made breakfast."
"Its fine San I needed something to do. I was really anxious this morning I was going stir crazy and this is a really good distraction." She tells me somewhat erratically without even pausing to take in air, just continues to scrub the already gleaming surface.
I walk over and gently place my hand over hers to still her shaking hands. Her whole body jumps at the contact, so I move slowly careful not to scare her anymore and calmly remove the sponge from her hand, before pulling her into me and holding her tight. Her body is completely tense at first, but I just hold her tighter until I feel her gradually loosen and start to grip me back around the waist just as hard.
Britt turns her head slightly to burrow herself into my neck. This physical comfort I keep giving her though is just a temporary solution to her problems, she needs to talk it out and I am going to have to push her, even if she doesn't want to. Otherwise we will never be able to move forward.
"Britt" I whisper into her ear. "We need to talk about this."
As quick as lightening Britt snaps back from the embrace her eyes full of anger glaring at me.
"Why because you say so? Oh that's right I forgot everything is on your terms, and at Santana's pace."
I stare open mouthed at her, what is she talking about?
"No Britt, I just meant-" But Brittany cuts me off before I can explain myself.
"I know what you meant Santana, you want to talk so we have to. Even though I'm not ready but you don't care about that do you? That's how it's always been hasn't it, I try to get you too talk but you push me away and treat me like shit. But as soon as you want to talk everyone should come running right? Well tough shit Santana I am not talking about this I am not pressing charges, and there is no way I will change my mind so stop forcing me!"
"Is that what you really think?" I barely get out, my brain is still trying to process Brittany swearing.
Britt just nods at my question her face painted with defiance.
"Fine! I will just leave you to it then!" I try to yell at her.
"Yeah that's right leave!" Brittany screams "You're so good at that as soon as things get hard, you leave me!"
Her words slice through me painfully, and I momentarily forget to breathe. Staring open mouthed at the girl I once knew better than myself, I inhale shakily and turn to leave without sparing a backwards glance.
Once I make it outside my apartment I feel everything hit me with a huge force. Tears start building up rapidly. Is that what Brittany really thinks? I always leave her when things get hard. I mean sophomore year was so complicated and we were so young, I was afraid of the consequences and I didn't want her to suffer through them as well. She can't possibly hold that against me still? Even when I broke up with her, I did it for her, she was so sad, I mean in hindsight I know it was the wrong decision but I have only ever wanted what was best for her. I thought we had moved past all of this.
Leaning against the door, I furiously wipe away the few tears that have managed to escape and try to regain some composure. What am I doing?
Running away again.
God I am such an idiot. I quickly turn to let myself back into the apartment, no more running I'm supposed to be an adult. Opening the door I find Britt in the hallway tears streaming down her face struggling to catch her breath.
"I-I'm s-s-so sorry" She stutters out. "I didn't m-mean it I swear, I'm just so scared San."
I just look on at her refusing to console her, she needs to tell me what's going on, I can't take this back and forth she keeps playing.
"I'm not capable enough to press charges, San, I'll mess it up, and they will laugh me out of court because I am so fucking stupid. I'm so weak and pathetic, and when he gets found not guilty he will come for me San and he will probably kill me."
My heart breaks listening to her. Her confidence is shattered, no worse than that, she is completely broken. She needs help to put herself back together, before we can even contemplate pressing charges. But until Britt starts to believe she is capable, we will just keep going round in circles fighting over this, and I am so tired of fighting.
"His lawyer would chew me up and spit me out San and you will finally see how stupid I really am." Britt hiccups out. "I couldn't bare it if you finally realised your too good for me San, I think it would finish me off."
I snap out of my thoughts quickly realising I have yet to respond and as fast as my legs let me I rush to her and kiss her with everything I have in me. My hands grip her hair to hold her in place. Britt whimpers into my mouth her tears pouring onto my face mixing with my own. She starts to kiss me back just as hard and pulls me closer by the hips. My tongue forces its way into her mouth and I feel a sense of home. We kiss like that, hard and passionately for minutes until we both have to break apart to breathe.
I stare intensely into her eyes, foreheads smashed together, tightening my grip on her when she tries to break eye contact.
"You are smart, you are capable of anything you set your mind to Brittany Pierce and I am going to help you realise that no matter what." I firmly say my voice full of so much emotion.
Britt stares back into my eyes searching for something, I just stare straight back letting her see I mean it with every fibre of my being and silently willing her to believe me. Eventually I receive a barely there nod and a gentle kiss to my now swollen lips, before I carefully release my hold.
Before anything else can be said, we're broken from our state of reverie by someone knocking on the front door. Frowning in confusion I break even further from Britt and tell her to go wait in the lounge while I get rid of whoever it is.
Opening the door I am met with the sight of one Rachel Berry and I let out an audible grown in frustration.
"Well Santana that isn't the welcome I was expecting."
"What do you want Berry, have you never heard of calling first before turning up uninvited?" I tell her my voice lacking any malice, I literally have no energy for her right now.
"I was in the neighbourhood and I did text, do you not check your phone anymore?" She informs me completely oblivious to my hint, of not wanting her here.
I roll my eyes at her and go to sweep some of the hair out of my eyes. But stop what I'm doing when I hear Rachel gasp.
"What happened to your face?" She almost shouts at me.
Cringing I quickly pull my hair over to cover it up.
"It doesn't matter, look this isn't a good time right now, I'll call you and we can meet up soon OK?" Hoping she will take the hint.
I close my eyes and sigh out in disbelief as Ella's cry hits our ears like a bull in a china shop.
Rachel's face is a picture of confusion and I can see the gears turning in her mind, trying to come up with possibilities as to why she can hear a baby crying in my apartment.
Just as quick as Rachel's mind, I find myself searching through my own for some sort of plausible excuse to give her.
Quickly I spit out the first excuse I can come up with "It's just the TV."
I can tell she doesn't believe me and quicker than I could have anticipated she has barged past me and is heading towards the crying Ella.
"Oh shit." I breathe out, before quickly chasing Rachel down.
I catch up with Rachel and find her standing there open mouthed looking at Brittany, who has Ella cradled close to her chest in a protective hold.
My anger flares up when I see how scared Britt is, and I quickly get a firm grip of Rachel's arm before I start to drag her back to my front door.
"B-but, w-what?" she tries to get out but I don't give her a chance to finish what she has to say before I throw her out my open door. I take one last look at her shocked face before shaking my head and slamming the door.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I curse to myself.
Shit just got a whole lot more complicated.
AN: Did you like it? Review if you want they will be much appreciated. I can't promise the next chapter wont take as long, but I will try my best.