Chapter 1:

L, the greatest and unknown detective in the whole world, was furious. He couldn't stand watching his suspect from a TV screen in a hotel anymore. His beautiful suspect . . . was being under surveillance by cameras that were all over the room and he probably didn't know that, or unless, he had. . . . And his suspect's just putting on a show?

L just wanted to jump through the screen and pounce on his suspect. He wanted to wrangle him on the bed and make sure he had grown tired of trying to escape his tight grasp.

How dare he! That damn Kira!

"Light Yagami . . ." L growled, biting his thumb. Chief of the NPA, Soichiro Yagami, also the suspect's father, looked questioningly at L.

"I-Is something wrong, L?" Chief asked. L was too focused on the screen to even notice that the Chief was talking to him. It was quite embarrassing.

"Sorry. What did you say, Yagami-san?" L asked, continuing to stare at the screen.

L couldn't understand. Why was Yagami-san so calm about this? On the screen, Kira—Light Yagami- was playing with himself.

"You don't see a problem with this?" L asks, clearly annoyed by what Light's doing. Angry that he wasn't invited to join.

"Uh . . . Well, yes. Of course it's a problem. My son is looking through porno magazines." Soichiro Yagami looked at his son on the screen then back at L.

"What?" L shook his head. He looked at the screen that was right in his face.

Light really was looking at porno magazines. So, does that mean L had imagined that Light was jerking off? Impossible! He absolutely just saw Light stroking himself!

So it seems L's horniness got the best of him, and it wants to take over this investigation and fuck it all up.

Light was obviously aware that reading erotic magazines made him seem cliché, and the magazines were nothing appealing to him. It was just for show. He knew that to whoever was watching, L, his father, the taskforce, he knew that he looked bored as ever. Light was also growing tired of having Ryuk staring over his shoulder at the girls in the bikinis and overly-sized . . . assets.

Light sighed heavily and closed the magazine and hid it inside his Encyclopedia and stuffed it in his bookshelf.

"Oi, Light! I wasn't finished!" Ryuk stammered, stopping himself from taking out the magazines.

Light glanced at Ryuk quickly and then sat in his chair clicking his pen. "Ryuk . . . no," Light thought. He'd love to talk to Ryuk, just to stop his undying need of boredom, but he was being under surveillance. It would ruin his reputation as a model . . . everything. It could give himself away to being Kira! Or just imagining, Light shivered in slight annoyance: "Light Yagami, smartest student in all of Japan, impossible to beat, talks to himself!—" Light didn't need that.

Also, the fact that he has to keep his scheduled executions for pitiful criminals on track was another pain. He had resolved to studying and chip-eating to complete this somewhat difficult task.

Light only had one thought in mind. If only he had something that'll be more entertaining . . .

He looked towards Ryuk, who was sitting on his bed, his chin lying upon his clawed hand.

On the view of a screen, Light thought, it would look normal if it was just a normal boy staring at his bed intently . . . wanting sleep.

"What?" Ryuk asked.

Light walked coolly over to Ryuk—his bed. He sat down in between Ryuk's lap—his bed. Light blushed a little but remained silent and cool about the situation. He unbuttoned his shirt a little, flopping it slightly.

"Jeez, it's hot in here," Light whispered, hoping the bugs caught what he said.

"Uh . . . Light. What are you doing?" Ryuk asked. Ryuk blushed a bit. After all, he's never had a human sit between his legs before. He certainly never expected Light Yagami to do something like this.

Light backed up a little, putting himself against Ryuk's body.

"Uh . . . Light?" Ryuk was flustered by this. What the hell was he planning?

Light sighed, hiding his moan that he surprisingly almost let out.

"I don't know what else to do," Light said. "I'm so bored." He looked behind him, into Ryuk's eyes, or his bedhead. He went back to staring down at his slightly unbuttoned shirt.

Ryuk caught Light's notice. Did . . . Did Light want to . . . fuck? With a shinigami? On camera! Ryuk shook his head.

"Hyuk. Sorry, Light, but, maybe somewhere else. Unless . . . you're really 'that' bored." Ryuk slid his hand under Light's shirt and began to caress his skin softly.

Light caught his breath for a moment. He never thought that . . . he'd actually "want" this. It was impossible, right? To have sex with a shinigami? Because, who would even dare try to have sex with a shinigami?

"Only I would," Light thought to himself. "If only they could see you, too, Ryuk," he thought—so that it wouldn't look weird if on camera it looked like he was having sex with himself.

Ryuk's hand slipped lower as it circled around Light's crotch.

"Ryuk . . ." Light moaned his name out loud and then shut his mouth instantly. "They heard me," Light thought worriedly. "They heard me say his name."

"Did I entertain you 'that' much? Model student, Light Yagami." Ryuk smirked. "I think I'll enjoy this."

Light blushed deeply. "The taskforce will have their suspicions about a person named 'Ryuk'. How will I explain that if somebody asks?" Light had plenty of questions in his mind but decided to shut them out for now.

L sat there with the Chief. "Hm . . . Do you know anyone named 'Ryuk,' Yagami-san?" he asked. The Chief shook his head.


"Notice how your son blushed as he said 'Ryuk.' Is your son in a relationship with anyone?" L asked.

"I wouldn't know, Ryuuzaki. I'm never home."

"Why is your son blushing so much?" L asked. He continued to bite his thumb. "Who was this 'Ryuk' guy that Light was suddenly cooing over?" L thought, his jealousy striking in. "Damn him, whoever this 'Ryuk' guy may be . . ."

"Yagami-san . . ." L hesitated before continuing, "Light Yagami's suspicions of being Kira has been raised to about 2%."

"What?! Ryuuzaki!" Chief yelled.

"Calm down, please, Yagami-san. I understand how you may feel, having your son as a suspect of being Kira. But answer this: How is it that your son is giving off signals?" L asked.

"What do you mean? What signals?"

Obviously, L had spotted them. He grabbed the remote that controlled the video and rewinded it back it back to where Light had said, "I don't know what else to do. I'm so bored."

"Yagami-san, that was a sign. By that, what he meant was that he knew he was being watched and that there weren't any other ways to entertain himself.—So the question is, was he talking to someone else?" L said, his brows furrowed in question.

Chief Yagami gasped at L. "Ryuuzaki, but, Light is alone. He couldn't be!"

"No shit," L restrained himself from saying that aloud. He replayed the clip again, indulging every word Light had said and every action he had made.

"For some reason, it sounds as if he's giving up." L didn't wait for Yagami-san to question; it was starting to become an annoyance to him. "When he says there's nothing else for him to do, honestly, Yagami-san, it sounds as if he's giving up his body. His actions give off signs as well, if you look closely."

Yes. Light's gorgeous, tanned skin looked absolutely delicious. "It may taste even more delicious if he added strawberries and whip cream to his body," L thought.

L wondered if he'll ever get the chance to meet Light personally . . . and certainly do things concerning the Kira case . . . and Light getting arrested for being Kira . . . Because that's what L's job was. It wasn't to fuck his sexy suspect that was murdering plenty of innocent people—well, criminals—but they were still people.

And besides, Kira was evil . . . but just so damn sexy!

"Okay," L sighed heavily and shut off the screen. "That's enough for today. You and everyone can go home and relax. We'll pick up where we left off tomorrow," L said. He needed to clear his mind of all his sex fantasies he had about him and the Chief's son.

"O . . . Okay, Ryuuzaki. Everyone, great work today," Yagami-san told everyone. L watched as the rest of the taskforce left his hotel room. After everyone was gone, he deliberately asked for Watari to go to some candy shop and fetch him some caramel apples or something. Right after Watari left, L broke down.

"Dammit! Who the hell is Ryuk?" L pounced on the couch and threw a short and quiet tantrum.

"And why does he have to be so sexy?" he breathed into the pillow he was using to muffle his screams of frustration. "Light Yagami . . . I'll make sure you endure a good treat . . . personally from me."