***STEPHENIE MEYER STILL OWNS TWILIGHT AND I STILL OWN A BIG 'OL BOX OF LAUNDRY DETERGENT***
A/N: Hey ya'll! Surprise! I know everyone is surprised to see an outtake for Spin Cycle show up all of a sudden! Lately this story has had a resurgence and I wanted to welcome all my new readers with this special outtake. The idea came from a bit that was done on the radio morning show I listen to during my 64 mile one-way trip to work every day! So let's check in with Trooper Fuckhot and see what he's up to. This takes place shortly after the ESGI, which happened in chapter 7….if you haven't read that chapter, you really should! But pee first…lol…so here we go!
"So Darlin' what do you want for your birthday?" I was kissing Bella's neck as we lounged by the pool. I had just come off a twelve hour shift and I was tired as hell but when she said she wanted to go for a swim, the man in me perked right the fuck up. Bella's new bikini may have had something to do with it as well.
"Actually Trooper, there is something I'd like." She turned in my arms to face me and just from the smirk on her face I could tell she was up to no good. I twirled a piece of her hair around my finger while she gathered her thoughts.
"Baby, you know there isn't anything I wouldn't give you. You name it, you got it."
"Do you REALLY mean it Edward? Anything I want?"
"Damn baby, if you don't know that by now I must be doing all the wrong shit."
"Ok, well, you remember the ESGI, right?" Was she serious with this shit? Do I remember the ESGI? Yeah, not likely I'm gonna forget super gluing my hand to my cock any time soon.
"Ugh Baby….yes. I remember THAT." I shuddered just thinking of it. That had been a bad day. I couldn't believe it was only a couple months ago. I was still getting shit at work about it.
"Well I got to thinking. What if something like that were to happen again, only this time, what if Little Eddie was unavailable for a longer amount of time? I'm not ashamed to say I'm addicted. My name is Bella Cullen, and I'm addicted to Trooper Fuckhot's cock." I couldn't wipe the shit eatin' grin off my face if I tried.
"Ok, I'm with you so far. You like my cock. This isn't news baby." I reached down and palmed my rapidly growing erection as I watched Bella's eyes grow wider.
"Well, I was reading an article the other day online that talked about making a mold of your genitals and how to do it and stuff." She looked up at me through her lashes when realization dawned on me. Was she asking me what I thought she was?
"Isabella Cullen, are you asking me to make a mold of my cock?"
"Sweetheart, how in the hell am I supposed to do that?"
"They have these kits….that….you know, you use." She was serious. Could I do this?
"So you want to make a mold of my nine? For what? Just in case something happens to me, you'll still have part of me?" I fought the insane chuckle that threatened to come out. No way was I making a mold of my cock. Nope. It ain't happening.
THREE WEEKS LATER
I cannot believe I am standing here, in the middle of the day, at a place called Cuffs. Ironic isn't it? Oh but I'm not here to purchase new handcuffs for my job. No, that would be easy. I'm here, behind my mirrored sunglasses but in street clothes because I didn't think the DPS would appreciate me coming on this errand in uniform, to buy a cock molding kit. I wish I was kidding.
Trying to be as discreet as possible, I made my way over to the shelves, desperately trying to find what I needed without alerting the salesperson.
"Welcome to Cuffs sir, what can I help you with today?" Fuck me upside down. Is this girl even old enough to work here?
"Hi, um, you know, I think I'm just going to look around a little bit if that's ok." Before she can respond, my worst nightmare comes true.
"Heyyyyy Eduardo! You here to buy your cock molding kit?" I looked up into the wide grin of Emmett fucking McCarty. Before I could register exactly what he said, my other nightmare, Jacob Black, walked in beside him.
"Hey! Cullen! Fancy meeting you here!" The sales girl clucks her tongue and walks away, leaving me with the Brothers Perv.
"McCarty! Black! Shut the fuck up!" I whisper yelled. How the fuck did they know I was here for that specific item?
"Relax Duardo, we came to help. Look, I have to admit, I am a nosey fucker. I overheard you talking to Bella on the phone yesterday in the Report Room. Dude, do you know how fucking hot it is that your wife wants a mold of your cock? Seriously Cullen, we're not worthy." Both he and Black begin to bow over and over again at my feet, effectively embarrassing the shit out of me further.
"Would you fuckers stop it? Fuck." I look up only to find every eye in the place on the three of us. Out of the corner of my eye I see Jacob manhandling a very large blow up doll. Christ, and these men are the ones who have vowed to serve and protect the people of Texas.
Deciding it might be in my best interest to get what I came for and get the fuck out of here before Sgt. Cheney and the rest of the department show up, I located the kits and grabbed one, heading for the register. Naturally, Emmett spies what I have in my hand and joins me.
"Will that be all for you sir?" Too Young to Work in a Sex Shop asks.
"Yes, I believe so."
"Hey Cullen, check these out….TITS! They're breath mints! Holy shit, BREAST MINTS!" McCarty scoops up at least ten boxes of the mints and throws them on the counter. "He'll take these too Ma'am"
"Emmett, I am not buying tit mints for you. Buy them yourself." I smile apologetically at Is She Even Legal.
"Thank you Mr. Cullen. Have a great day. Happy Cock Molding!" Overly Enthusiastic Yet Surely Underage Sales Clerk says. I smile and quickly make a dash out the front door effectively leaving McCarty and Black inside. Fuckers. Fuck My Life.
As soon as I made it home I decided since Bella was working the late shift, I would get the damn thing done. Seriously though, could I do this? Could I do it alone? I guess I was about to find out.
I got everything I was going to need and got ready to make a mold of my nine inch cock. I couldn't help but feel a bit smug. I had to buy a special kit because I was so…um…well endowed. Yeah, I got a big cock and I know how to use it. I shook my head at my inner monologue. The last time I got this smug, I ended up with my hand super glued to my cock but whatever. Ok, let's do this. The instructions say that to achieve the best results I need to be fully erect. Hmmm. I can do this. I'll just make a withdrawal from the spank bank. I have images upon images of my favorite 911 dispatcher to call upon.
Deciding I need to be comfortable to do this, I quickly discard my clothes and lie down on the bed. I'm already semi-hard because any thought of Bella gets me that way. Closing my eyes, I remember her warm, wet mouth the last time she sucked me off. God her mouth is always amazing. I grasped myself firmly at the base of my cock and stroked slowly upward feeling myself harden impressively. I could almost feel Bella's mouth on me.
I was hot and bothered now and pretty hard so I needed to get this done and jump in the shower. I made the mix equal parts water and powder like the directions said and felt confident that things would go smoothly. Apparently that was my first mistake because as soon as I poured the mold over my cock, I heard the unmistakable sound of the front door closing.
"Edward? Are you home dear?" HOLY FUCK, IT'S MY MOTHER!
Trying to mask my horror I called down to her. "Mom? What are you doing here?" I heard her feet hitting the stairs and began to panic. I couldn't move. I was sitting on the bed holding the mold that contained my erect cock.
"Are you in the bedroom son? Everything ok?"
"Mom, don't uh….don't come in. I'm fine. I'll be down in a second."
"Oh Edward please, I've seen you naked. I just need to get your opinion on something." I saw the door knob begin to turn.
"Mom! No! For heaven's sake, if you ever loved me, do not open that door."
"Edward Anthony Cullen, do have a woman in there? I didn't see Bella's car. Oh my God Edward, so help me if you are cheating on Isabella…."
"Fuck! Mom, of course not. Shit." She wasn't going to give up. "Look, I'm doing something for Bella's birthday. She specifically asked for this. I can't come down just this second but go downstairs, have a drink, a snack, anything. I'll be down in a few minutes. Please Mom."
"Ok honey. I didn't mean to intrude. I'm sorry." Great, now I feel like an asshole.
"No mom, really. You aren't intruding. I'm just….uh…indisposed at the moment." She giggled. Esme Cullen giggled.
"Whatever you say dear." I heard her retreating footsteps and let out a breath. Naturally my erection was gone. I hoped it would have been enough to make a good mold though.
Returning to my task, I saw that it was time to remove the mold. I went into the bathroom so I didn't leave a big mess on the floor. As soon as I broke the mold off I knew I had failed. Fuck. My cock most definitely does not look like THAT.
Apparently my mother was a real life cockblocker because my perfect cock mold was badly misshapen and looked more like a floppy tube. Sighing, I left it on the double sinks in the bathroom and jumped in the shower to rinse off. Totally defeated I washed quickly and dried off, dressing in a black t-shirt and some basketball shorts and made my way down to see my mom.
What a long night. Thankfully my shift was finally over and it was very early in the morning. I pulled into the garage beside Fuckhot's truck and made my way into our home, depositing my things on the kitchen island. All I wanted was a hot shower and to curl up against my Trooper.
I entered our bedroom as quietly as I could in order to not disturb Edward. He was wrapped around my pillow, gloriously naked with the sheet only up to his waist and he was lying on his stomach. Damn he was fine. She sinewy muscles of his back beckoned me and I couldn't help it as I padded over and placed a gentle kiss between his shoulder blades. He sighed deeply and moaned but didn't wake up.
Making my way to the bathroom, stripping out of my clothes as I went, I gently shut the door behind me and then turned on the light. When I turned around, there on the sink was some sort of white plaster looking tube. Upon further investigation, I had to stifle a raucous round of giggles that threatened to escape. Apparently my Trooper had tried to get me the one thing I asked for him to give me for my birthday. And by the looks of things, he hadn't been successful. I picked up the object and held it up in front of me. The head looked perfect. I would know the head of Edward's cock anywhere. However, that was where the similarities ended. What I held in my hand was shaped in pretty much a ninety degree angle. The last time I checked, Edward's cock wasn't THAT crooked. He did have a wicked little curve at the end, perfect for finding my G spot, but this, no…just…no. I could no longer keep the chuckles at bay as I held up the not-so-perfect mold of Trooper Fuckhot's cock. I was keeping this one though. Yeah, it was too good to throw away.
I tucked CC(crooked cock) into a cabinet and threw a towel over it and jumped in the shower. After letting the water hit my back for a bit, I got out and dried off and crawled into bed behind my Trooper.
"Mmm you're home Sweetheart. God Bella you smell good." He rolled over and pulled me against him and his morning wood. I couldn't help myself when I reached down and palmed him. "Fuck Darlin' that feels nice."
"Good morning baby." I couldn't help the snort of laughter that burst out of me. Fuckhot opened one glorious green eye and sized me up.
"What's so funny Beautiful?"
"Nothing. I love you Edward. Do you know that?"
"Fuck, I left it on the sink didn't I?" His realization gave me carte blanche to laugh my ass off. And laugh I did. Hard. Fuckhot is not impressed.
"Yep. You did. Although, I'm not sure what happened." Ducking down under the covers I inspected his dick a bit. "I don't see the ninety degree angle."
"What? What angle?"
"Have you not seen it dry Edward?"
"No, my cockblocking mother showed up and I lost my damn hard on so it didn't come out right. I just threw it on the sink in the bathroom." He hangs his lip and it really is adorable that he's pouting. I'm threatened with another round of giggles at the thought of Esme showing up unannounced, but more than that I'm in awe of my amazing man. He knew I really wanted this and he was going to do it. I needed him to know that I loved him for trying.
"Edward, baby, I love that you wanted to get me what I asked for. I can't imagine you buying that kit."
"Oh you don't know the half of it. McCarty and Black showed up Bella." He doesn't have to say any more. I can only imagine what they put my Trooper through.
"Well, are you going to get another kit? Because, you know, I could help you with it. It might be fun. I guarantee you won't lose your wood."
"Hmmmm Mrs. Cullen that does sound like a good idea. Ok, I accept your help. Right now though, I can imagine you are tired. Let's sleep."
"Ok Fuckhot. But we are going to the sex shop when we wake up."
I walked back up to the bar to get Bella another drink. While I waited I turned around and looked back at our table. The McCarty's, Jasper and Alice, as well as my parents were all here celebrating Bella's birthday. Her Dad wasn't able to make it but he had called earlier. Jake was on duty tonight so he was the only other person missing.
I watched Bella from afar, her smile lighting up the entire room. She was happy. Her birthday hadn't always been important to her. Since she had been in my life, I tried very hard to make sure she always had exactly what she wanted. I snorted out loud at what she got for her birthday this year.
"Ok, now we need to get you worked up and very hard." Bella whispered as she unzipped my pants and pulled out my cock. We were just about to attempt the cock molding and I felt much better having her here to help me. Before I knew what was happening, she dropped to her knees and began to suck me off.
"Mmm baby, that feels good. Don't overdo it Sweetheart. I can't come yet."
"I won't let you come Trooper. I just want you hard as a rock." She looked up at me as she pumped me with one hand and stroked my happy trail with the other.
"Fuck Darlin' I think you better stop and get that mold poured. Quickly."
Bella scampered to her feet and gently poured the mold over my cock. Once that was done, she climbed on the bed and we began to kiss passionately. She was doing her best to make sure I stayed hard as a rock. It was working. She was very dedicated to the task at hand.
After the correct amount of time, we removed my dick from the mold and set the perfect representation of it off to the side to dry while we jumped in the shower and took care of the beast between my legs. The mold was perfection.
"Here baby." I kissed Bella's cheek as I handed her the vodka cranberry she asked for.
"Mmm thank you Trooper. After we have this drink I think I'd like to go home and play with my birthday present." She wiggled her eyebrows at me.
"I'm trying very hard not to get my feelings hurt here Darlin'. You seem to like that cock mold better than you like the real thing." I had to admit, I was jealous of my own dick. Bella loved using the mold and loved me using it on her. At first it was really hot but now, well I felt like I was being replaced.
"Edward, are you serious? Sweetie, I love the real thing. Are you really jealous?" I just shrugged my shoulders. Fuck, now I felt stupid. When did Trooper Edward Cullen turn into such a pussy?
"Come on baby. Let me take you home and show you what a real nine can do." I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I bet I can have you coming undone all night long. And maybe tomorrow we'll get up and go down to Cuffs and get another kit. I think I'd like to make a mold of your delectable pussy." I licked the shell of her ear and felt her shudder.
"Oh God." She shuddered again and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had her, in every way. I'd go above and beyond for this woman, even if it meant embarrassing the hell out of myself in a sex shop buying a cock molding kit. I'd do it over and over again because I loved her and I always would.
We had almost made it out the door after saying goodbye to everyone when I heard Emmett's loud voice thundering over the crowd.
"Duardo! What ever happened to that cock molding kit you bought at the sex shop? How'd that work out for you?" A hush fell over the crowd as every person in the bar turned to look at me. Mortified and completely embarrassed, I wanted to punch McCarty in the junk. My wife, being slightly emboldened by alcohol decided that she would handle him.
"Emmett, we had to get a different kit. See, Edward is…well….I mean he has a…..fuck it, Edward has a huge cock. So we had to get the Super Duper God Damn That's a Big Cock version. And just so you know, it came out just fine. You might want to try getting your own. I know they have the Itty Bitty Teeny Weenie Can You Really Call That a Cock version too, in case you need it. Night ya'll." With a swat on my ass, she headed out of the bar, me and my monster cock following behind her. Yeah, it was going to be a good night, Fuckhot style.
A/N: Ok, so I hope you enjoyed this! I giggled all the way thru it. Oh how I'd love to have a mold of his nine! Would you? Thanks for reading my loves! XOXO Shannon