Snowflakes were the first things that she should remember, the first things that she ever saw.
The day that she came to be was a cold, dark, uninviting day in the middle of the coldest winter that Gensokyo had ever experienced, long before the incident of the winter that just wouldn't end. It was a day that every human came to despise, their harvest dying outside on the fields because winter had set in way too early. The cold was coming into their houses even through stone, wood and glass, a visitor that neither of them wanted to have.
They cuddled up in front of their warm fireplaces, those who had family kept them close and hugged them dearly to share their warmth. Even Fujiwara no Mokou had, though she had denied it at first, accepted the invitation of her eternal enemy Kaguya Houraisan that day and had entered Eientei to stay out of the cold, to enjoy the warmth that the eternal house offered.
Warmth was foreign to her, though, she who just came to be as a personification of winter. She, who had no purpose.
An especially violent snowstorm had just ended as she opened her eyes, the whirled up snowflakes gently falling onto her face, their cold touch the first affection she should ever feel. The cold and yet soft breeze gently stroke across her cheeks long before she rose.
She saw no reason in ever moving. For her, it made no sense to change position, made no sense to move at all. Why should she move? Why was she even there?
So she continued to lay in the snow, even as the wind changed, even as the dark clouds perished and allowed the sun to shine down on her, even as the all the snowflakes on her face thawed away. Even though the rays of the sun eventually burnt her skin, she continued to lay there, the snow soothing what little pain she ever felt.
For hours to come and days to pass, she just lay in a layer of snow and stared up into the heaven, no matter what color it turned into. For reasons unknown to her, it was blue sometimes, sometimes orange and sometimes black, only to become orange and then blue again.
Sometimes, something that looked like wavering snow covered the sky. Sometimes this 'wavering snow' was white, sometimes gray and sometimes even black... Years later, she'd overhear Youkai referring to this 'wavering snow' as clouds. But for her, these 'clouds' would forever remain wavering snow... It made no sense to her if these 'clouds' were anything different. Snow came from them, snowflakes fell on her face every time that they passed in a gray or black color.
It had to be snow stuck in heaven, snow that fell down upon the earth... Was it endless? Or did the snow that fell down on her somehow get back up there? Why was it stuck up there to begin with? And what was it's purpose for being there? Did it have a mind on it's own?
And if it had... Or if not... What about her?
Did she even have a mind at all? Did she even have a purpose to begin with? Why did she exist? Why was she there?
Sometimes, someone would pass her. Sometimes, they looked fragile and mortal... Sometimes, they were strong and would pass her again even after a very long time had passed. Once in a while, they'd stop to ask her why she was lying there... She wouldn't even regard them with such a thing as a glance. All she ever did was looking into the sky and this wavering mass of snow that they called clouds. And even if she would've looked at them... Could she even speak? Was she capable of such a thing? She never really cared enough to try...
When she didn't reply, those who passed her would eventually huff and just continue their journey... Wherever it led to. For whatever purpose they had. She would've probably gotten up as well and would've gone onto her own little journey if she had a purpose. But she did not have such a thing.
She was a silly creature, and nothing else.
But there was something that caught her eye once in a while... Every once in a while, beings that were neither those fragile ones she'd later know as humans, nor those that moved past her even after great amounts of time that she'd later know as Youkai.
No. These beings were fragile in appearance, but had the long lives of Youkai... They were both, and yet neither of them. Fragile and childish in appearance with colorful wings of every color and shape on their backs, they'd dance across the sky, play their childish games and would laugh all day when they flew past her.
Every time she'd see them, they'd be doing the same thing as if it would never get boring... And, much like those beings that she'd later know as Youkai, they continued to do so for great amounts of time.
They were Fairies. Spirits of nature.
She was one too... She didn't know just back then, but would later on. Later on, she'd come to realize that she was the fairy of snowflakes. Existing just because they existed. Fairies were like that... They existed only to exist, existed only because their respective part of nature existed. And as long as that existed, they'd continue on with their pointless existences.
Every once in a while, some of them would stop to ask her if she wanted to play with them. She wouldn't reply. But she would move her eyes. She would stare at them. And when she would, their smiles vanished and their childish glee seemed to perish. They'd flee from her just seconds later, leave her alone to stare back at the wavering mass of snow above, high in the sky.
She never felt the need to join them. She never felt anything but... emptiness.
Emptiness, for she held no purpose to exist, to exist being her only purpose. And with no goals, no emotions and no memories before that winter, she'd be nothing but an empty shell. She was nothing but an empty shell.
So, with no thought in mind and no purpose to even be, she just lay there. Let time pass. Let snow cover her, and later rain wash it off.
One day, when she was just waiting for more snowflakes as dark clouds gathered above her, none came. Instead, something similar came down from the sky... The liquid state of the snow she enjoyed so much. Rain.
It was cold just like the snow, but wet and would make her body heavy. Green strands of hair would stick to her face, green hair that was her own. And yet she wouldn't move. Wouldn't move as the snow around her washed away. Wouldn't move as the dirt became mud.
The event of rain rather than snow became more frequent as the time passed. She would hear one fairy, one dressed in white, exclaim that spring had come... Whatever spring was. Whatever it was, she didn't like it. It stole the only thing in her pointless existence that really mattered... Those white flowers that fell from the sky every day. Snowflakes... They were gone.
What was once white became green. Leaves began to grow on apparently dead branches, returned life to dead things. Visitors became more frequent, as did questions that she would never answer. The sky wouldn't remain dark for as long as it had done, remained blue for greater periods of time than ever before.
But eventually, that ended as well. And it ended with a tragedy.
For the first time in her pointless life, she'd see the death of another being.
It was just another warm night... A feeling that she came to despise. Warmth certainly wasn't anything she enjoyed, for it made her feel different... Uncomfortable. Sometimes, she felt like it was draining what little powers she held.
it was such a night, a night in which fireflies roamed around her and illuminated the shore that she lay on, next to a lake that was covered in a thin layer of mist as the warmth increased with each day. Bees were flying from flower to flower despite the late hour of night, waking butterflies that had rested on the blossoms. Stars shone down from the nightly sky, the moon was full...
The night was beautiful, beautiful indeed. If not for the face of death that she should see, the first death of another being that she'd experience... The thing that strengthened her in her point: Her existence was meaningless.
A Wolf Youkai was roaming the shore. For a moment, it stayed aside her and sniffed on her, it's hot breath tickling her bare skin and it's warm saliva dripping down on her stomach. But it did not eat her, didn't even try a single bite.
"This one's dead for too long. It smells of death. It's eyes are empty with no sign of life left. It will rot soon." was all it would growl in a feral voice as it averted it's gaze and moved on. But it didn't get too far away, remained just in her line of sight... As she had come to realize that the snowflakes would not fall again, she had turned her head to look at the lake, no longer interested in the sky. It was pointless to wait for that which would not come again. The snowflakes were gone.
The Wolf Youkai had just reached the shore of the misty lake when another fairy passed by. Being the quick predator it was, the Wolf Youkai just had to make one quick leap to seal the fate of the fairy that had dared to pass it. It never stood a chance against the predator that sunk it's teeth into her throat and ripped it open, thus ending the fairy's life.
And yet, the very same fairy was back just days later. Returned to life by nature, which it was part of, it would just mindless continue to fly around, not even remembering it's death.
The existence of a fairy was pointless. They just existed to exist.
She, too, was a fairy. Her existence, too, was meaningless.
And before the hottest day came, she was proven right as her own death finally claimed her. Since her creation, she had not moved at all, had not spoken at all... And even her death of hunger was silent. She just silently perished... Slipped out of life, only to return hours later in the very same spot in the very same position.
And what was worse, she could remember everything before her death.
And thus, she knew what she was... Knew it immediately.
She was a silly being, a freak of nature.
Born at the end of Gensokyo's coldest winter as a result of the aftermath of the very last snowstorm, she had continued to live into the spring... And had died. And returned. And lived and died until summer, when the rain stopped falling at all.
When summer set in, she didn't know what to feel. The days and nights had gotten warmer, sometimes unbearably hot. It was draining her powers and thus increasing her emptiness.
On the hottest day of summer, a Youkai walked past her.
"Oh my, oh my, a fairy it is. And one with eyes as dead as that! Death is not stranger to you, is it?" cooed the Youkai as it sat down next to her and covered them in the shade of her pink parasol, "What may be the reason for your loneliness in the middle of summer? Is it that you just came to be? Or perhaps you see no reason to live at all? No longer that is, perhaps?"
She looked up at the Youkai with long hair as green as hers and red eyes that promised pleasure and pain, which wore red plaid pants and a waistcoat of the same color and pattern over a plain white shirt. She didn't care who this Youkai was or why she had stopped for such an unimportant, silly creature as her, she merely wanted this Youkai to be gone.
"I see you do not speak. Is it that you do not want to speak or that you cannot? Or is it perhaps that you do not want to speak to me?" continued the Youkai as it looked down at her. Down on her.
"I do not want to speak at all. Go away and let me rot. I am a silly creature." she replied, speaking for the very first time in her life.
The Youkai with the fragrance of flowers gently rose and began to laugh. Began to laugh at her.
"What an interesting reply from such a silly creature as a fairy! Is is that you are different from them all? You are a smart one, greater fairy, for you are aware what a silly creature you are! For you do not forget a death, and are aware that death will claim you over and over again, and yet will never give you the sweet peace that it seductively promises! Do not forget my words, think about them if you want or forget me and them the moment I'm gone... But if you are a silly creature, then you are the smartest of them all, simply for knowing and accepting what you are!"
She left without another word, let her lie there on the shore.
And just as long as it had taken from the day that it had started to become warmer, it started to become colder again. The green of grass and leaves began to rot, turned a crispy brown as days and months passed. And yet she continued to lie there, not moving at all.
One day of autumn, two sisters passed that couldn't be any different. They argued, they danced, scattered brown leaves over the land. Fruits became ripe as they sung of the harvest, humans that passed praised them and thanked them for the harvest, so much more bountiful than the year before, the year of Gensokyo's hardest winter.
The rain became more frequent again as this season, too, did come to an end.
And before the silly creature knew, the snowflakes fell again. The gentle touch lingered across her skin once more and the snow piled up all around her.
In just a year, she had experienced so many pointless deaths, deaths she could remember only too well and yet didn't care about. They were pointless. She was pointless. No matter how often she died, she'd just return to be. It was irony... Or maybe, for the amusement of something greater. She was existing just to exist.
She was a silly being, the silliest of them all.
A Youkai with curly lavender hair passed her one day without noticing her, the day that the snow was higher than any day before, and sung of the winter's cold glory and the snowflakes that fell. The air was even colder around her than it was anywhere else, she was the personification of winter itself...
And so, the years passed. How many, she didn't know. They repeated themself too many times for her to remember, too many deaths taking their toll on her memory. But she'd remember four things... In spring, the silly fairy would shout while the flowers bloomed. In summer, that Youkai with the fragrance of flowers would visit her while the world was all colorful and the day was the hottest of the year. In autumn, the two sisters would dance as the leaves fell. And in winter, that cold woman would sing as snowflakes rained down and the coldest day had come.
Until one year, her song had changed.
She wasn't just singing about the snow anymore. She wasn't just praising the cold that year. She was singing her old songs, but with the addition of a name to it. A name that the silly creature would later never forget again.
She'd meet the person that the Youkai of Winter was praising in her songs only one decade and a half later. Until then, the years had just been as meaningless, as had the deaths been. Every few days, she'd die of hunger... Would die of too great heat for her cold body in summer... Would die because a Youkai chose to eat her, despite her apparently dead state.
But that all changed one day... The snowflakes had just started to fall. Winter had begun. The Youkai of Winter passed her again, once more singing her song of cold, snow and Cirno... And spotted her. Spotted her, lying in the snow. The Youkai of Winter stopped for a moment... And then, bowed down.
It was the first time that she, the silly creature, should know the affectionate touch of another being. In a motherly way, the Youkai stroke her chin and cooed. And then left, only to return with another being with her. This one wasn't tall at all, wasn't powerful or great in any way... And yet, was special on it's own, special... So very special for her, the silly creature.
Holding a blue dress with white trim, this fairy that accompanied the motherly Youkai of Winter had aqua-colored hair and eyes, her wings icicle-shaped and detached from her body.
"Letty, who is this?" asked the fairy as she walked over to the silly creature and examined her.
"A greater fairy... A greater fairy in need of a purpose. She must be born from the snowflakes... Just watch how gently they caress her and protect her from harm. Poor, foolish ones, as they cannot protect her in any season but winter." replied the Youkai with lavender hair.
"Eye don't understand, Letty..." spoke the fairy, revealing a speech defect that the silly creature would later call unique and cute at the same time.
"Don't worry Cirno... She is merely in need of a friend. She needs someone to rely on... She needs someone to help her, someone to show her what she is." smiled the Youkai of Winter in a warm way, earning a gasp from the fairy of ice, as that was what Cirno seemed to be.
"Then Eye shall be her friend! And Wriggle, and Mystia, and Rumia shall be too! Eye will protect her!" declared the fairy, before she bowed down and placed the blue dress on the silly creature, urging her to put it on.
"What an honorable goal, Cirno... Stay true to it, you hear me? Promise me that you will always protect her! She needs someone like you!" giggled the one she had called Letty and gently bowed to pick the silly creature and the dress that lay upon her up.
Cradling her like a little child, the Youkai of Winter gently whispered to the silly creature, soothing her.
And for some reason, it did soothe her. It did ease all that which she had ever experienced, made the emptiness vanish.
There was someone that cared about her... So she couldn't be completely without a purpose. And if she indeed had no purpose, then it didn't matter. There was someone to share this emptiness with.
"What is her name, Letty?" asked the ice fairy as the Youkai of Winter carried the silly creature to the place she would from now on live in, the house that resembled an igloo, the house that Cirno had built and lived in.
"She has no name yet, Cirno... I don't think she has one. She is just a greater fairy, one that has not lived despite existing." replied the Youkai, smiling down at the silly creature.
"Then Eye shall give her a name! Dai! She's Dai from now on! Daiyousei, the greater fairy!" exclaimed Cirno, apparently proud at coming up with that name.
And as she heard that name, the name that was given to her by her very personal savior Cirno, the silly creature did something she would have never thought to be possible.
She smiled for the very first time in her meaningless life. Smiled to herself as she cuddled into the motherly 'warmth' of the Youkai of Winter. After just existing for so long, she was given a purpose.
No, that was not correct. She had no purpose. She still had none. She was still just a silly creature, probably the silliest of them all.
But she came to realize one thing that day.
She was a silly creature that held no purpose but to exist.
She was a silly creature.
And a smart one at that, one that should not dwell on being a silly creature.
There was so much more to live for.
If not for herself, then for those who had stopped the emptiness.
Hello everybody, this is SorrowfulReincarnation and I hope you enjoyed this small story~
The funny thing is: It just randomly popped up in my head while I wasn't really doing anything at all... I just sat there after the last chapter of II-Negative Mind (Chapter 7: Sub-Zero), was writing on the next chapter of Hazard of Hatred when I randomly stopped for a moment and thought about what I had written about Daiyousei and about the review from Nicolas Crossworth... And then, just had to write this!
It isn't necessarily a NBP Spin-off, similar to how "Reincarnate my Rivalry" hadn't necessarily been one. This time, however, no element from NBP is mentioned... This situation COULD lead to NBP, as Daiyousei does refer in it to herself as 'a silly creature, and a smart one at that', but does not have to, as it can very well just be a story that tells of the origin of Daiyousei.
As you may have noticed, I gave Daiyousei a gloomy and rather dull side in this story. The reason for that is that I cannot help but see Daiyousei as a cheery and childish fairy, one with a hidden gloom and sorrow to it. It's almost like she tries to hide it behind a mask of childish glee in the written works of Touhou, at least in my opinion... But then again, maybe I'm just interpreting things into it that aren't there. Little is known about Daiyousei, after all...
Anyways! A last thing to note is that I wrote this in just one night... Was about 1 AM when I started, 4 AM when I sat here and was content with it (after going through it several times). I think I dozed off somewhere in between, but I'm not sure...
This is SorrowfulReincarnation, hoping you enjoyed this small story, and I see you next dream~