A/N: Here's another collaboration with yasminemohamed91, also known as Moonlessnight126 on YouTube, who has inspired "Super Psycho Love," "Burning Bridges," and many other one-shots.
a Fairy Tail fanfic
by Rhov and Yasminemohamed91
Gray and Natsu were sitting in a regular bar on the outskirts of Magnolia, a seedy district with cheap entertainment, weak beers, and bad music. It wasn't like they enjoyed grimy places like this, but they had once again been kicked out of the guild hall for fighting, and Erza warned them not to return for a week as punishment.
When Natsu entered the bar and saw Gray already drinking at the counter, he wordlessly sat next to him and purposely ordered something stronger than what the ice wizard was drinking. Then Gray ordered another drink, making it purposely stronger than Natsu's. They passed an hour in this quiet battle of booze.
As the night wore on and the alcohol lost its flavor, Natsu looked at Gray with a drunken serious face. His vision was a little blurry, so he stared for a moment, eying Gray's profile, the lanky black hair, the pointy chin, and the droopy eyes focused on a glass of whiskey on the rocks. Gray swirled the ice cubes in the tumbler, then took a sip of the potent liquor.
Nonchalantly, Natsu mentioned, "I had a wet dream about you last night."
Gray choked on his drink, sputtered, and pounded on his chest as he coughed up burning alcohol. He turned his head to the dragon slayer with a pale face. He blinked and asked hesitantly, "W-what happened in the dream?"
Natsu replied with a casual shrug, "You were riding hard on me. You kept saying things about training your dragon."
"Oh...was I?" Gray knew he was drunk. A conversation like this would normally catapult him into a brawl, but after who-knows-how-many drinks, he felt purely curious. "When did you start getting these dreams?"
Natsu picked up his WildFire and took a deliberate gulp. "Since that one time we did it together."
Gray frowned at being reminded. "We were drunk."
"We said we'd never speak of it again, asshole."
"Maybe we should."
"Why? Are you...are you mad?" Gray asked worriedly. "I was really damn drunk that night. I didn't mean to do that to you."
Natsu looked away, shrugging. Gray eyed him cautiously. That night was something Gray wished he could forget. He had attacked Natsu, practically raped him, except it somehow turned into the sort of situation only found in Erza's naughty manga collection.
"Did you like it?" Natsu asked softly.
Gray stared into this drink, thinking about it. "Not sure... It's still kind of fuzzy, ya know."
Natsu looked at him. "Did it mean anything to you?"
The answer took a longer time. "Maybe. Let's not talk about it, okay. Especially not when we're drunk...again."
Natsu took a long sip before asking, "Do you regret it?"
Gray kept staring into his drink with a serious look and did not provide an answer. Of course he regretted it. The guilt nagged at him all the time.
Natsu looked at him from the corner of his eye. He studied the tenseness in Gray's brow. Then, with a small sigh, he dropped his gaze back to the drink. "I didn't." He waited. "Regret it, I mean."
Still he waited, but Gray said nothing. Natsu sneaked one more glance, saw Gray's hardened gaze, and looked aside.
"Sorry for bringing it up." He waved to the bartender. "Gimme a scotch neat."
While Natsu drank some more, Gray sneaked a glance over to the pink-haired man seated beside him. He eyed Natsu for a long time while a band wailed out a song about forgotten memories. He realized, those memories of that time were not forgotten. Try as he might, they were etched into his mind forever, along with feelings of pleasure, confusion, and guilt.
Why would Natsu bring up that taboo moment? Why would he ask if Gray liked it, if it meant anything, and if Gray regretted it?
Did he really, truly regret it?
He drank all of his tumbler in one strike and placed it down hard, leaving only the ice cubes behind. They were silent for few moments before Gray finally said, "Neither do I. Regret it, I mean. I only wish I hadn't been so drunk."
Natsu gawked in surprise, and a smile flitted across his face.
Still, Gray's face remained stoic. "I probably hurt you."
"An ice princess like you could never hurt me."
Gray sneaked a droll glance, chortling softly at the defiant attitude. It was so like Natsu! As he looked at the dragon slayer, his eyes blurred for a moment. The alcohol had loosened him, so he felt liberated enough to admit this.
"The truth is, I've been getting dreams about that night, too."
Natsu jolted over. "You have?"
"Yeah, but different. In my dreams, you're on top."
Natsu's eyes widened, his cheeks burst out pink like sakura, and he gulped dryly. Gray had to laugh at the flustered, gawking face. If only he had a camera! Gray took some money out of his pocket and placed it on the counter.
"See ya, flame-brain."
Natsu hurriedly finished the remaining liquor and asked, "Are you heading home now?"
As Natsu placed money on the counter, he just hummed the answer. They walked out together into a dark and cold night. Natsu rubbed his arms, but Gray looked perfectly content with the evening chill.
With a brief and searching glance to Gray, Natsu casually mentioned, "Happy is staying with Charle and Wendy at Lucy's house tonight."
"Oh..." Gray tried to sound uncaring, yet already his heart was pounding.
Natsu began to walk down the street. Gray lowered his head and smiled hungrily.
Hell, why not!
A Few Minutes Later
Gray grunted as Natsu pinned him to the wall of a dark alley and bashed their lips together in such roughness, Gray thought he tasted blood from a cut lip. They had not even gotten halfway to Natsu's house before the dragon slayer grabbed Gray and pulled him into this dank, musty corridor between two brick buildings. It stank of stagnate water and mildew, but if the dragon slayer could put up with the smell, Gray would too.
Gray pulled Natsu by his ass, deepening the kiss and crushing their groins against each other. Gray felt that stiffness, already burning hot, and he shuddered as Natsu undulated his hips, sliding, rocking from side to side, then small circles, all maddening against the growing need.
Their tongues twirled together as Gray ran his hands over Natsu's chest, gripping at the abs, then running his thumbs around the nipples he felt through Natsu's clothes. In response, Natsu squeezed Gray's ass cheeks with both hands and pulled them closer. They both moaned as they rubbed against one another.
Their faces pulled away to catch their breath as they stared with lustful, half-lidded eyes. Only the moonlight above and the amber glow of a streetlight shined for them, giving each a predatory look in the darkness.
Gray suddenly pushed Natsu to the other side of the alley, slamming him against the bricks. Before Natsu could shout at being so rough, Gray growled out his demand.
"Exhibitionist," Natsu smirked playfully, yet he wanted this just as desperately.
Gray unzipped his pants and dropped them to his ankles. Natsu took off his as well and revealed his length, dripping a shiny liquid that reflected the moonlight. Gray fell to his knees and, without any warning or preamble, he took the shaft into his mouth. Natsu's head tipped back, resting against the moldy bricks, as he moaned. He shuddered that, of all places on this walking popsicle, Gray's mouth was always warm. His fingers clutched Gray's messy hair, stroking with encouragement as the ice wizard sucked him hungrily.
"That's right," Natsu chuckled teasingly. "Suck me."
Gray growled, and Natsu felt it vibrate on him. He hissed, and his hips began to thrust, trying to press deeper and deeper into Gray's mouth. The alley echoed with sloppy sounds of sucking and Natsu's whispered curses of pleasure.
Gray stroked himself as he tasted the heady saltiness already leaking out. When he leaned back for some air, he saw a string of saliva thin out between his lips and the engorged cock. He glanced up and saw Natsu staring down at him with amazement and desire.
He stroked Natsu's length as more precum leaked out. Already, he saw Natsu's thighs tensing. He was close, but Gray was not about to let him come yet. He licked circles around the under side of the glans, then sucked just the head, licking up the pearl of fluid that was already dripping. Just as Natsu tensed up again, Gray pulled away.
He stood up and rammed his tongue into Natsu's mouth, making him taste his own fluid. Natsu tried to pull back, but the taste of Gray mixed with the saltiness of himself was too tempting. Their half-closed eyes examined each other as they kissed and licked. Gray thrust against Natsu's moist length, pinning him to the brick wall with his hips. Natsu groaned, grabbed around to Gray's ass, and pulled him rhythmically, making him rock against him. Then he reached down to the clashing cocks and stroked them together. Gray hissed from the searing hand.
"You're noisy," Natsu warned, and he silenced Gray by thrusting two fingers into his mouth.
Gray's eyes widened as the fingers stroked his tongue. "Ee hess hime?" he garbled past the oral intrusion.
"Yes, you this time," Natsu smirked. "That's what you dreamed about, right? I wanna know if you like it."
He removed the fingers, then pushed Gray backward, slamming him against the opposite alley wall with the same amount of roughness as Gray had done to him. Gray stumbled with his pants around his ankles, but Natsu held him up by pure strength. His hand circled around behind Gray's entrance and felt around for the right spot. When he found it, he smirked slyly.
"Don't tense up," Natsu quietly warned.
Gray moaned as one fiery finger inserted. He rested his forehead on Natsu's shoulder as he tried to relax through the weird intrusion.
"I'm not waiting," Natsu warned before inserting another finger.
Gray shuddered. "Arrgh, no, stop!"
Natsu frowned to feel that his fingers were already dry. He took his fingers out and spit on them a couple times. Then he reached down again and thrust both in together. Gray yelled in pain.
"Noisy," Natsu warned, and he covered Gray's gritting mouth with his lips.
As he warned, Natsu did not wait. He thrust the fingers relentlessly, ignoring the painful shouts from Gray. However, never did Gray tell him to stop. The pain melted into pleasure, and soon Gray was frotting against Natsu again. Natsu chuckled devilishly at just how eagerly Gray was acting.
With his free hand, Natsu squeezed what he could from Gray's dripping cock and rubbed it onto his own. Gray's saliva was drying, so Natsu crudely spit down to help it moisten again.
"This'll be rough," he warned.
"Good," smirked Gray.
Suddenly, Natsu pushed Gray back harder and pinned him to the wall. He knelt down, put Gray's knees around his shoulders, and as Natsu slowly stood up, he supported all of Gray's weight with his hands just under the cold ass. Gray gasped as he was held trapped, his legs wrapped around the dragon slayer, his back against the rough bricks that were carving their running bond design into his spine. He was completely at the mercy of his rival. Natsu did not even look strained by the weight. Still, to help him, Gray wrapped his arms around Natsu's shoulders and held on.
It was slow, and Natsu had to adjust his hold to use one hand to guide himself just for the first part. Holding himself steady, he lowered Gray little by little, pushing into his body, squeezing inside.
Gray's head shot up as he moaned loudly from the intrusion. Natsu thought that face was the sexiest thing in the world. He wanted to take Gray fast and rough, yet he waited a moment, letting the entrance loosen so it was not a strain on himself as well.
Finally, the tiny opening relaxed and Gray nodded with a whimper. Natsu grabbed Gray's hips tighter, adjusted his hold slightly, then pulled out slowly, feeling the whole length of himself moving out into the chilly air. He thrust in hard, slamming Gray against the alley wall.
Natsu could not hold back. He repeatedly crashed inside him. Gray locked his legs around Natsu as he held on tightly. Gray panted loudly with every thrust, groaning and whimpering whenever Natsu brushed across his prostate.
Gray was still loud, but Natsu did not really care. He loved to hear Gray's voice rise with pleasure. However, out here in a dark alley, he knew they needed a little discretion. He silenced those lips with another devouring kiss. Gray moaned into Natsu's mouth as he watched the dragon slayer with a flushed face, lowered eyelids, saliva dripping down his mouth that he could not wipe away, not without letting go of Natsu's powerful shoulders.
Natsu pounded into him steadily, savoring the moment, languishing in the arousing touches and moans. Gray curled his toes with every thrust and breathed heavily out of his nose, clenching Natsu's clothes, yanking at his hair, and scratching his shoulders when the pleasure got too intense.
When they pulled away to breathe, Natsu was stunned to see that somehow, like some stripper's magic trick, Gray had lost his shirt. "Seriously, how do you do that?"
"Talent," smirked Gray.
Natsu glared at the cocky tone, but he ignored it this time. His head went down, and he sucked on Gray's neck.
"Bastard, don't mark me!" Gray protested angrily, although his body trembled in pleasure.
When Natsu pulled up, he saw the pink mark of the Salamander on Gray's skin and felt powerfully possessive. He liked to see his marks on Gray's pale skin.
He increased his pace, pounding deeper into Gray in a relentless and unmerciful pace. He eyed every feature in Gray's face: flushed cheeks, closed eyes, lips hanging open as breaths gasped out, so hot that for once the Ice-Make wizard sent puffs that turned to steam in the chilled night air.
Gray shuddered, and one of his hands rushed down, taking his own cock and stroking it urgently.
"Come with me," Natsu hissed, feeling himself drawing near.
"No," Gray warned. "Now! Coming now! Nnnngh!"
His head threw back in a silent "Oh" as he released, splattering both bodies. Natsu felt the tightness, and he knew he wanted to share in this powerful moment with his lover. He rammed harder, clenched his teeth, then buried his face into Gray's shoulder to hide the intensity that wracked his whole body.
"Aaargh!" he growled, completely losing control. As all the pressure snapped and released below, he bit into Gray's collar, making the stripper howl.
"Bastard, don't bite me!"
Slowly, the intense moment faded, and Natsu released his teeth. He looked down and saw marks, plus a little bit of broken skin from his sharp canines. That would leave a much different bruise come morning.
Their breaths steadily slowed. Gently, Natsu withdrew, and Gray hissed at the pain that reemerged now that the pleasure was over. Gray unlocked his legs, and Natsu held on firmly as those strong thighs dropped back to the stagnate alley floor. Still, Gray held onto Natsu's shoulders, finding no energy to stand on his own just yet.
They looked into each other's eyes and saw brightness dancing, a post-coital joy that they knew would only last for a few special moments. Gray began to open his mouth to say something, but he hesitated. Instead, he shortened the distance between them, leaned up to Natsu, and gently gave him a warm kiss.
Natsu hummed at just how tender the ice wizard could be. He wanted to say something, praise him, worship him, invite him home so they could cuddle through the night. However, that was not the sort of relationship they had.
He waited, watching, knowing what would happen. Sure enough, Gray's face slowly changed, drifting down like a feather in the breeze. Happiness lowered to satisfaction, which sank into contemplativeness, and then thudded into a look of shame. When that darker face emerged, the dragon slayer knew that their moment together was over. He released his hold on Gray and stepped back.
"So," Natsu said casually, "did you like it?"
Gray looked away, also trying to act dispassionate about what just happened. "I think so," he mumbled.
Gray bent over and yanked his pants up. As he fiddled with his belt buckle, Natsu sighed and redid his pants as well. His shirt was loose and hanging out, so he dressed quickly, but Gray had to tuck his shirt in neatly. Natsu glanced back at him, eying the body now covered up. He still saw the hickey on Gray's neck, proof that they had been intimate.
Once dressed, they looked in different directions, away from each other.
"Well..." Suddenly, Natsu froze, unsure what to say.
"You headin' home?"
Natsu glanced back, but Gray was staring at the alley's end. "Yeah. You?"
Natsu waited for a moment, unsure what to make of such a taciturn response. The awkwardness between them grew. Natsu wanted to invite Gray to come home with him, but he felt choked with worries.
Finally, Gray said, "I guess I'll take a little walk. Ass hurts."
"Ah," Natsu muttered. His opportunity had passed, and he felt a sting of regret.
"It's a good way to release some steam once in a while, right?"
"Mmh," Natsu grunted.
Gray put his hands in his pockets and looked out at the empty street. "Well, I'm off. See ya, flame-brain."
"Yeah," Natsu muttered, and he began to walk in the opposite direction.
They parted just like that. Not a single word of affection. An insult, a farewell, and they were gone, like nothing happened. Besides, neither of them understood this precarious relationship. Was it just messing around? Did they do this purely for the carnal pleasure? Could it be some twisted form of love? Natsu did not know, and he guessed Gray was just as confused.
Natsu looked over his shoulder at Gray and watched him walk away. He remembered the start of all this, some drunken night, angry brawling that turned into seduction. After that night, the atmosphere between them became awkward for a while. Now again, just like before: was it nothing more than a drunken fling?
Yet, Natsu desired love. It was cliché, it was silly, but he wanted Gray to tell him those three words.
Natsu sighed and shook his head. It was all one-sided. Sex was something Gray would never agree to unless he was really drunk, and likely he would wake up with a hangover to erase the memories. Natsu would not brag about it; Gray would not complain about his sore ass. They would once more pretend it never happened and never speak of it again. Not until the next time they got drunk together.
Silently, he watched the cold man reach the end of the alley, turn left, and with his hands buried in his pockets, Gray marched away without even a glance back. As Gray vanished from sight, Natsu realized he had no right to ask for more. He decided to be patient, just as long as they stayed close to one another. He walked in the other direction and let the night's darkness swallow him away.
A few street blocks down, Gray stopped as his lanky bangs fell low against his shaded eyes. He leaned against the wall of a closed store and growled into the dark silence.
How the hell could he express his feelings to Natsu when he did not even know what sort of thing existed between them?
Their first time together was a drunk fling, similar to tonight. With all that alcohol down him, Gray had practically raped Natsu, except the dragon slayer begged for more. Or maybe that part was a hallucination. He truly had been blue-blind drunk!
Those memories haunted Gray in the middle of the night. He felt guilty for ravaging Natsu like that, and he realized later that Natsu was likely a virgin back then. A virgin, and Gray had not even properly prepped him! After all, Gray had never had sex with a man before. He didn't know what to do. It had hurt, he could tell from Natsu's screams and the dried blood on his cock when he regained consciousness the next morning. Those screams still echoed darkly in his mind.
Right after it was over, Gray realized the depth of his crime. In desperation, he begged Natsu to never speak of it again. He wanted to forget the tears and the screams. He wanted to go back to how they were before that horrible night.
This time as well, they were under the influence of too much alcohol. He should not have agreed, but he knew Natsu would never agree to it sober. Hell, the dragon slayer was so smashed tonight, he started a conversation about wet dreams.
Wet dreams, dammit!
Dreams about the time Gray practically raped him! A night Gray regretted, a night that wracked him with guilt, because for all the shame he felt, those memories aroused him. Gray knew that from now on, that curiosity, wondering what Natsu dreamed about, would haunt him every morning.
What Gray feared most was that Natsu would forget the whole night in the wake of a morning hangover. He didn't want that stupid flame-brain to forget it. He wanted him to remember, so maybe he would think, Okay, we're even now, Gray.
At the very least, they were even. Tit for tat. An eye for an eye. Or more appropriately, an ass-virginity for an ass-virginity.
Gray knew he wouldn't forget! No matter how much his head swam at the moment, he knew his ass was going to hurt for days. Damn flame-brain with a horse's cock! Even if he was totally inebriated, that ache would remind him of every moan, every thrust, and every sweet kiss.
Gray needed time. The guilt of that first night plagued him, yet now, the burning in his ass was purging those sins. Maybe fate would reveal the answer at the right time. Maybe Natsu would keep dreaming, keep feeling it was special, not just when drunk but when he was sober as well. He wanted one night with Natsu, no alcohol, just them and a night of tender passion.
Maybe then, he could tell Natsu those three special words that lingered in the back of his head.
Gray sighed, and he was amazed to see his breath fog up. That never happened normally. He blamed the fiery mouth of the dragon slayer for that, and smiled sadly. That mouth, that cock, that entire body, warmed him so much, he actually felt a chill from the cold air around him
Gray straightened up and continued walking down the street, away from the dark alley, with the moon as the only witness to the struggles of both young men.