A/N: Well, here's my attempt at a crack/humor fic. I hope you guys enjoy! Please R&R, let me know what you guys think!
Warning: Lime, possible OOC-ness. Yaoi.
Summary:Neji hates spiders. Sasuke learns this the hard way.
"Wait! Sasuke!" Neji protested as he was pushed down unto the couch of his bedroom. The genin leaned up on his elbows and mock glared at his smirking boyfriend above him, "I told you to wait, Sasuke," he tried not to whine as the Uchiha straddled his hips.
"You sound so cute when you get all flustered," Sasuke teased him in response and leaned down a bit so that he was face-to-face with the Hyuuga, his hands gripping the cushions near Neji's head. He pressed his nicely toned body down against Neji's and smirked a bit wider.
Neji blushed at the close contact, "Sh- shut up," he mumbled but couldn't look away from Sasuke'e eyes.
Sasuke's smirk deepened as he pressed his lips down against Neji's plump ones, surprising the Hyuuga slightly but that didn't stop Neji from returning the kiss. His arms went up and wrapped fully around the Uchiha, the kiss going deeper as Neji dipped his head back a bit.
One of Sasuke's hands moved from gripping the couch cushions and to Neji's chocolate brown hair, running his fingers through the smooth tresses as if in a daze. He loved touching and stroking Neji's hair; the Hyuuga always kept it in good condition, not to mention that it was so long.
Neji shifted; shivering slightly when he felt Sasuke's hand run through his hair loosely. He didn't mind when Sasuek touched or played with his hair, he did mind when strangers tried to touch it though. He hated when people did that. He always tried his best to maintain his hair, and wouldn't just let anyone put their dirty fingers in his hair. He was glad that Sasuke appreciated his hair.
The kiss got more heated, Sasuke slipped his tongue inside Neji's warm mouth to play with the Hyuuga's tongue lightly. This earned a soft moan from Neji as Sasuke's hand ventured from his hair and to his beige shirt that was tucked into his dark violet shorts. Distracting Neji with the kiss, Sasuke was able to untuck the shirt and slip his hand inside, feeling his boyfriend's toned abs. His skin was heated, which was a good thing. It felt nice to have Neji's heated skin against his rather cool skin.
Neji gasped softly when he felt a cool hand slide up his stomach and chest, an shivered lightly as Sasuke pulled out the kiss. Sasuke began to kiss on his jawline and down the side of his neck, nibbling on his earlobe and playing with a nipple as he did so.
"Ah!" Neji gasped as he felt his nipples harden beneath the Uchiha's ministrations. He opened his pale eyes into slits and looked over at Sasuke's shoulder.
Something caught his eye and he opened them a bit wider to see what it was.
It took a moment for the Hyuga to fully register what it was, since his eyes were still a bit blurry from being closed. He didn't even notice as Sasuke went to town on his neck, his hand beginning its descent towards Neji's shorts.
Neji's eyes bulged as he fully registered what was on Sasuke's right shoulder. Big, eight legs, hairy, FUCK!
Neji let out a shriek and squirmed in Sasuke's hold, trying to shake the younger Uchiha off. Sasuke, startled by the sudden struggle, leaned up off Neji, taking the monstrous being on his right shoulder with him. A concerned and confused expression was on the Uchiha's face.
"Neji! What's wrong?" Sasuke exclaimed in alarm.
"SP- SP- SPIDER!" Neji shrieked as he scrambled to sit up a bit.
When Hinata Hyuga heard yelling, soonfollowed by a loud crash coming from the direction of Neji's room, she stopped what she was doing and went to go investigate. She saw Neji coming in with that Sasuke Uchiha, but what were the two up to in Neji's room?
When she opened the door and peered inside, she took in the scene that was in front of her.
Sasuke Uchiha was sprawled on the floor, holding his right cheek with one hand like he'd been struck. Her cousin was bent over him, apologizing profusely but also asking "Did I get it? Did I get it?"
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a black spider dart to safety underneath the couch.
She blinked in confusion, what the heck was going on here?"
Once Neji was done apologizing, Sasuke sat up using his one good hand.
"I guess this means you're out of the mood now?" Sasuke was grumbling.