Title: Competition is What Separates Us From Monkeys
Crossover: Pitch Perfect/Gilmore Girls
Pairing/Characters: Aubrey/Beca, Rory/Paris, Chloe
Summary: To Beca's irritation, game night has gotten really competitive.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~1,880
Spoilers: general spoilers for both
"I can't," Chloe replies. "I'm sorry. I have to work."
"But I need you," Beca says. "There's no one else. It has to be you. No one else can save me."
Chloe laughs. "You're exaggerating."
"I wish I was," Beca replies. "You weren't here last time. You didn't see—"
"Aubrey told me the story," Chloe says. "She said it wasn't that bad."
"She's not the one that ended up covered in melted Margarita mix," Beca retorts.
"At least it wasn't Daiquiri mix?" Chloe chuckles.
"You're laughing at my pain, aren't you?"
"What? No. Of course not. One of my coworkers is being silly."
"Uh huh," Beca says. "The time before that, it was half a bottle of wine, you know."
"Look, I don't know what you want me to do, Beca," Chloe says. "I have to work."
"Maybe you could call Aubrey and tell her to cancel," Beca suggests.
"Or you could."
"She's ignoring my calls right now," Beca says.
Chloe laughs again. "Sorry Beca, seems like there's no getting out of it."
"Goody," Beca grumbles.
"It's not like it's just going to be the three of you," Chloe says. "Isn't Rory going to be there too?"
"Yeah," Beca replies. "But she's plenty competitive too. And apparently the combination of Paris and Aubrey baiting her is enough for her to abandon me and seceded to the other side."
"You're being a bit melodramatic, don't you think?"
"It was almost the whole pitcher, Chloe," Beca says. "Have you ever had an entire pitcher of Margarita mix poured on you?"
Chloe giggles. "I haven't."
"Well then you don't get to call me melodramatic."
"Just pick an uncompetitive game," Chloe tells her.
"No such game exists for Aubrey or Paris."
"Well, then I don't know what to tell you."
"You'll be fine," Chloe assures her. "Just wear clothes you don't care about."
"But I'll still be all wet and sticky if—don't even say it, Beale."
Chloe giggles. "I'm sorry. Just... Try to pick the least competitive game you can think of."
Beca sighs. "I doubt they'll go for it, but I'll try."
When Beca answers the door later that evening, Paris just pushes right past her.
"Ready to get your ass kicked again, Posen?"
"Since you're the one that's going to lose," Aubrey says. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
"God, you literally just stepped inside the apartment," Beca groans.
"At least they didn't spend the day texting challenges to each other this time," Rory replies.
"That was just a one time thing because we take Scrabble very seriously," Paris says.
"It's also why Scrabble is now banned," Beca retorts.
"I must say, Beca," Paris says. "I'm highly disappointed in your complete lack of a competitive nature."
"Paris," Rory sighs.
Beca shrugs. "You aren't the first to find me disappointing and I doubt you'll be the last."
"Don't worry, babe," Aubrey says as she walks up behind Beca and wraps her arms around her. "I love you just the way you are."
"Love has made you a complete sap," Paris says and Beca can almost hear the annoyance in her voice.
"Too bad the same can't be said for you," Aubrey retorts.
"What did you say?"
"So what game are we playing tonight?" Rory interjects.
"Monopoly?" Paris tries.
"Hell no," Beca replies.
"Risk," Aubrey suggests.
"Absolutely not," Rory says.
"We could try regular Trivia Pursuit," Paris offers. "The music version got a little intense last time."
"No way," Rory replies.
"Or maybe Scattergories," Aubrey throws out.
"No," Beca replies.
"Well then, nay sayers," Paris says, crossing her arms. "What game do you suggest?"
"We have an old Parcheesi board," Beca volunteers.
"That dusty old thing?" Aubrey questions. "It looks older than us."
"What's with the sudden clamp down on games?" Paris asks. "I thought we were going to try out all kinds."
"That was before you and Aubrey's competitive nature resulted in me being doused with Margarita mix."
"You went to college," Paris says. "Like you've never been covered in alcohol before."
"That doesn't mean it's an experience I want to repeat," Beca snaps.
"What if we play Sorry!?" Rory suggests. "And... we can make it a drinking game."
"Sorry!? Really?" Paris asks.
"A drinking game?" Beca adds.
"Um, yeah," Rory replies. "When someone gets sent back to Start, they have to drink. Or if someone makes it Home, the others have to drink."
"I suppose that works," Aubrey says.
"Or we could just play Sorry!," Beca says.
"Didn't you say the first time that you need to be drinking to deal with the two of them?" Rory asks.
"I guess I did," Beca admits. "Though I'm not sure that this is what I meant."
"So you're saying no?"
"I'm, uh, saying, let's go for it?"
"Fine," Paris says. "If everyone is agreement."
"Except what are we going to drink?" Aubrey asks.
"How about that bottle of Tequila your brother gave you?" Beca suggests.
"The one he got in Mexico?" Aubrey questions. "I was saving that for a special occasion."
"Oh please," Beca scoffs. "You're never going to open it. Let's be honest."
"Fine," Aubrey says. "I'll get it, if you get out the Sorry! board."
"Why do you guys have Sorry!, anyway?" Rory asks when Bea returns with the game box and begins setting up.
"I have nephews," Aubrey replies, returning with the Tequila and four shot glasses.
"I can't really see you playing board games with Zack and Jimmy, Bree," Paris says.
"They're not really interested in board games, anyway," Aubrey replies. "I just haven't gotten around to getting rid of it yet."
"Lucky for us," Rory says.
"Agreed," Beca adds as she hands Paris the cards to shuffle.
"I want red," Paris says as she begins shuffling.
"Does anyone else have a color preference?" Beca asks.
"I want green," Aubrey says.
Beca hands the four green pieces to Aubrey. She then hands Rory the yellow ones and keeps the blue ones for herself.
"Rory can start," Beca says. "And then we can go clockwise."
The first two rounds nothing happens. The 3rd round, Rory and Aubrey are able to move. Beca is able to move in the fourth.
"Who shuffled these damn cards?" Paris questions after she fails to draw a one or two on her 5th turn.
"You did," Rory replies. "You always shuffle. You always say the rest of us can't be trusted."
The 6th round, Paris draws a Sorry! and takes great deal of glee in sending Aubrey's piece back to Start.
"How's the Tequila?" Beca asks after Aubrey takes a shot.
"Smooth," Aubrey coughs.
During the 9th round, Aubrey sends Rory back to Start. Rory quickly does a shot. One of Beca's pieces makes it Home during the 13th round, making Aubrey, Rory and Paris all take a shot.
"Just because you have one piece Home, doesn't mean you're going to win," Paris warns.
"Whatever you say, Paris," Beca replies.
Rory sends one of Paris' pieces back to Start in the 15th round and Paris grudgingly takes a shot.
Nothing really happens until the 23rd round when Beca manages to get another piece Home.
"Now you're going down," Paris growls as she slams down her empty shot glass.
By the 33rd round, everyone has one piece at Home and Paris is excited because Aubrey just sent one of Beca's pieces back to Start.
"Can't you guys go back to just competing with each other?" Beca complains.
"Sorry, babe," Aubrey says. "All's fair in love and board games."
"Booooo," Rory says.
"I agree," Paris adds. "Terrible, Posen, just terrible."
"Just draw a damn card, Geller."
Things get vicious at that point. Apparently the reshuffling brought all the Sorry! cards to the top because after the 36th round, they've all taken at least two shots in just three rounds because a piece has been sent back to Start. Paris has to take three.
"If we play another game, we should cut out the shots," Rory says. "Otherwise we won't be driving home."
"Or finishing this game," Beca adds. "This stuff is strong."
"Well not all of us are such light weights," Paris says.
"You say that like you don't have a low tolerance, yourself," Aubrey replies.
"At least I've never drunk dialed by boss," Paris retorts.
"Yeah and who encouraged that?"
Paris smirks. "It's not my fault that you bottle things up. At least you didn't puke on him."
By the 52nd round, Beca has three pieces Home and her last one is in the Safety Zone. Paris has two Home, one in the Safety Zone, and one still on the board. Both Aubrey and Rory have two pieces Home and two on the board.
"I refuse to let you win, Mitchell," Paris says as Rory reshuffles the cards.
"It's not my fault that the cards seem to like me."
"Or maybe it's the shuffler," Aubrey offers.
"Which is why I'm shuffling them," Rory says.
"This is the worst game night ever," Paris grumbles.
"Don't be such a sore loser," Rory says. "It's just a game."
"Have you met me?" Paris questions. "Besides, competition is what separates us from monkeys."
Beca shakes her head and draws a card.
It only takes three more rounds for Beca to draw a two and win the game.
"And that's how it's done," Beca says. "Take a shot."
The other three do so and Beca helps herself to a victory shot.
"I need to get away from your gloating," Paris says before jumping up to help Aubrey carry the Tequila and shot glasses to the kitchen.
"You seem pretty pleased with yourself," Rory observes as they clean up the game.
"Any game night that ends without something being thrown is a win," Beca replies.
"Agreed," Rory says. "I just hope there'll be less bitching about losing this time."
"I get being competitive during the game," Beca says. "But this inability to let go is something I just don't get. It's just a game."
"Competition is Paris' usual way of connecting with people," Rory explains. "She's gotten better at handling it, but I think game night and Aubrey bring it out of her."
"Which is why I've said time and again that game night is a bad idea," Beca replies.
"Well you vetoed movie night," Rory points out.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Beca sighs. "You sound like Bree. That was her argument when I complained about being hit with Margareta mix."
Rory smirks. "Just be glad it was only alcohol. I've seen a lot worse from Paris."
"So that wasn't so bad," Aubrey says.
"I don't know," Beca replies. "Being the target of Paris' competitive nature and then her wrath is not my idea of a good time."
"I wish you could have met her as a teenager," Aubrey says. "Then you'd understand how much she's mellowed."
"You and Rory always say that," Beca replies. "Which just scares me."
"I thought you liked bossy, intense and competitive."
"Yeah, in you," Beca replies. "For some reason, it's endearing."
"Oh be quiet," Beca says. "Now that they're gone, I think someone owes me a reward for winning."
Aubrey smirks. "Have anything in mind?"
"Meet me in the bedroom and you'll find out."