-1 week later-
I sat on the floor of my room against my bed, replaying memories in my head. He's… Gone… I never got to say good bye… Mom walked into my room and told me that it was time to go. She was wearing a dress of his favorite color, blue. I nodded my head and followed her down the stairs.
"That's what you're wearing?" Dad asked as he tightened his tie.
I nodded as I put my sweater on, "He hates it when I dress up." I said putting my hands in my pockets. I was just wearing casual clothes, jeans, a superhero t-shirt, a pair of converse and a sweater. The only thing I did to my hair was pull it back.
"Okay, let's go."
The car ride was long and silent. No one said a word, but we knew how each other felt, to a point. When we got to the cemetery and where Austin was being buried, we took a seat in the front. The preacher said a few words, Mom and Dad theirs, but I just sat there in my chair. I didn't know what to say and even if I did, I wouldn't say it. He hates it when I embarrass him… I didn't even get up to throw dirt down, or stand for that matter. Even when the ceremony was over I didn't get up. It took my half an hour to realize what was going on and I still didn't move.
"Kat, come on let's go home." Mom said coming back and sitting beside me.
"Why did I do it? Why did I finish the fight."
"It's not your fault."
"To hell it is Mom. I would have been at school the entire week if I didn't finish that fight."
"It's not your fault Kat. There was nothing you could have done."
"There were a lot of things I could have done. I could have not pushed Dad into letting me go, I wouldn't have killed my best friend, we wouldn't be here if I didn't finish that fight! Austin would be at home right now!" I yelled as tears ran down my face, "I wouldn't feel like I let everyone down if I didn't finish that fight Mom. My brother wouldn't be dead."
"Katherine-" Mom said trying to hug me but I only pushed her away, "Don't do this to yourself, and you didn't let anyone down. You save thousands of people Kat."
"Then why did I lose the one person I cared about most! The one I promised to protect! Why did I have to sacrifice my little brother, for the lives of thousands?"
"Katherine, you didn't-"
"No Mom. Don't try to help me. Last time you tried I left school and I almost left you! So just don't help." I said walking towards the direction of home.
I walked inside the house to see Dad pacing around the living room and Mom at the table drying her tears.
"There you are. Are you okay?" Dad asked walking towards me.
"No. How can I be okay after what just happened? How can you expect me to be okay within a few hours! I'm not an agent who's gone through this before Dad! Don't expect me to be like you!" I yelled.
"I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"Don't be. I'm tired of people being sorry." I said going up to my room.
"I don't know what is worse El this or her giving off her temper and damaging things."
"This is only the beginning Peter. Right now, we just need to stay out of her way."
"Just when I thought things were getting better between us, it takes a complete u-turn."
I sat in the corner of my room, wishing that I was the one who was dead so that my brother would be alive. So that my brother could live his life and I could watch over him. My phone began to buzz against my desk on the opposite side of the room. I can imagine that it was some friends calling to give their condolences. They can leave a message, in which I won't listen to. I would kill myself but I'm not the selfish, but the thought still crosses my mind.
A few hours later, Mom came by and told me dinner was ready. I just sat there, I didn't move, when she realized that I wasn't going to come down she brought a plate up to me. When Mom and Dad went to bed Satchmo ran into my room and laid his head on my legs. I only slept for a couple of hours but nothing would have prepared me for what happened next…
"You're not going to school today, in fact you'll be home schooled this next year." Dad said, "I'm just doing what I think is best for you Kat."
"What's best for me? Might as well take away all my activities and friends that I have too, let's see if that makes me feel better faster."
"This isn't about that-"
"No, you're just protecting me from everyone else."
"You're leaving me no choice Kat."
"Right, choice. That's all every decision is based on right? Choices." I said grabbing my guitar and going out onto the patio.
I just stood there holding the guitar by the neck as I tried to calm myself. Not that it worked because I started to smash the guitar against the concrete repeatedly until I felt Dad grab my arms and pull me into his chest. I was angry, so angry that tears fell off my face. I force Dad's grip off me and knelt on the concrete. Dad knelt in front of me and pulled me into a hug as I broke down in tears, then Mom came and joined.
"Just let it go Kat, let it go." Dad said holding me tighter.
I cried for a good twenty minutes. I closed my eyes to what seemed to be a blink but was hours. I found myself on the couch as Dad came down the stairs and over to me.
"Feeling a bit better?" He asked brushing the hair out of my face.
I gave a nod and sat up looking at the time, "Isn't there a game on?" I asked.
"Want me to turn it on?"
"Yes." I said as Dad reached for the remote, sitting on the couch as I leaned against him.
Mom must have heard the TV turn on because she walked out of the kitchen with food and drinks in hand. She also sat on the couch and watched the baseball game with us. Dad kissed my head and whispered, "I missed this part of you Katherine. I love you."
"I love you too Dad." I said as I leaned closer.
"I don't know what was cuter, the two of you cuddling now or Kat trying to drink out of a juice box?" Mom said.
"And the moment is killed." I said sitting up only to be pulled back.
"Killed or not, you aren't moving." Dad said, "Oh, and I was just kidding about you being home schooled. We wouldn't not survive."
"So I can go to school tomorrow?"
"You can go Wednesday."
"Tomorrow is Wednesday."
"Then I guess you're going tomorrow."
"Can I take the bus?"
"No, I'll drive you and we can get some breakfast. If you wake up in time that is."
"So much for watching the game." I said getting up.
"Good night." Mom and Dad said.
"You were never really planning on home schooling her were you?" Mom asked Dad as I walked upstairs.
"No, I was just giving her a push."
"Yeah, I don't want to repeat what happened last time. So I pushed instead of pulled."
"Very original Dad." I called down.
"Good night Katherine."