A/n: This is my FIRST fanfiction and I hope you guys like it. I don't own any of the characters, but I kind of wished I did. I wrote this story about Bonnie and Damon because I feel like they're the two characters on the show who suffer the most. Also because I feel like they have this undeniable chemistry between them. I love Delena as much as the next fan, but…Bonnie checks Damon and I think he likes it.
Anyway, Bonnie's going through it. She doesn't like what's going on around her, she doesn't like being used for her magic, and she's just in a different place in her head. And Damon…well, he's still our favorite vampire.
Read and Review. No flames though. Seriously. I'm a bit of a wimp.
Chapter One: Fine
I sat in the corner of the expansive Salvatore living room pretending to be immersed in a spell book. Everyone else was arguing, something about Elena being in trouble unless we somehow kept Klaus away. Truth be told, I'd read this book at least three other times Elena had been in danger, and the results were still the same.
Nothing could stop an Original.
Well, that's not entirely true. Plenty of things could stop Klaus, I was one of them, but nothing in this book was going to be any true end to him. I'd tried telling Stefan and Damon this on all four of the occasions, but their answers were still the same.
"Bonnie, there has to be something. We can't let anything happen to Elena." That was Stefan.
"Every witch I've seen come into contact with that book could level a city if she wanted too. Maybe the Bennett line finally tapped out." That was Damon.
This book was pretty powerful, but it was only useful if I needed to make potions or, in Damon's case, level a city. I didn't have time for the former and the latter was overkill. Stopping Klaus was going to have to be done the old fashioned way, spirits and magic and a lot of forgiveness I didn't have. The spirits were still pretty pissed about the last time I'd done something to help the vampires, and I couldn't say I blamed them. Sometimes when I sat back and looked at the events over the past six months, I agreed with them.
I couldn't tell Elena that, she wouldn't hear it. I loved my best friend probably more than any sister I could've ever had, but her choices enraged me. She wanted Stefan and he wanted her. Damn whoever else got caught in the crossfire and screw whoever didn't approve. Sometimes I applauded them for being so completely in love with one another. Other times, times like this, I wanted to curse them both into forgetting each other.
The materials for that particular spell still sat in the far corner of my dresser.
I risked a look up and wished I hadn't. Stefan was holding Elena and saying something only she could hear. She tried to get a few words in, something along the lines of her wanting to help I'm sure, but he wasn't hearing any of it. Caroline was going on about having already missed Junior prom and that she wasn't trying to die "for real this time" before she could make it to the Senior prom. Jeremy wanted to be useful, but seeing as if I could talk to more powerful ghosts he didn't really get a lot of use.
And then there was Damon.
The older Salvatore leaned against the wall in the corner of the room, drinking what had to be his fourth glass of bourbon. The blue of his eyes was startling, like small oceans amongst the paleness of his face, and he was trying to keep them both off his brother. It was no secret how he felt about Elena, but there was one of how she felt about him. I'd seen the lingering looks they gave each other after a heated argument. I heard the way she laughed when Damon said something Stefan would never. She wouldn't admit it, especially not to me, that she felt something for him. That in itself was enough conformation.
That and the fact that Damon had been close to death plenty of times and we suddenly had to save him.
And while I'd always watched Damon, how close he stood to human girls and how his temper flared every now and then, I'd never actually watched him without wary eyes. His own eyes were losing the battle of staying away from Stefan and Elena, but only because his other options were Caroline and Jeremy. I saw his jaw tighten when Stefan stroked Elena's face. I saw the crack from his grip travel up the glass he was holding when Elena leaned into Stefan. Vampires didn't need to breathe, but I could've sworn his chest rose with anger.
And then he was looking at me.
I hated when vampires did things like that, especially him. It was like I'd gone from being invisible, to him suddenly staring at me like he had been the whole time. I watched his jaw unclench and noticed his chest fall as he exhaled. He raked his fingers through his jet black hair and took another sip of his bourbon.
Then he stuck his tongue out and flipped me off.
I was leaving. "I've got to go."
Everything stopped and everyone's eyes were on me.
Stefan stepped away from Elena. "Did you find anything?"
I didn't bother with the book speech. "No," I said. "I'll keep looking."
Stefan nodded. "Let us know what you find."
Elena was next. She crossed the room and hugged me. "Thanks Bon, I know it's a pain in the ass to save mine all the time."
I smiled. "Who else would I do it for?"
Caroline joined the hug. "Me hopefully!"
The three of us laughed. it was moments like this that made me wish the Salvatore brothers had never come here. We couldn't laugh or smile because Elena and Matt making out had gone wrong or because Caroline made a joke about some girl's bad accessories. Now we could only smile because we were alive and laugh because we knew something else was coming for us next.
One white crystal, two cups of spelled water, and a vial of vampire's blood. Those were the materials.
I pulled away from them and, after many promises to text when I got home safely, I left the boarding house. When I stepped outside, the sun was almost completely down and the night chill had begun to pick up a little. I got my keys out of my purse and started mumbling a protection spell. Sure there were three vampires who'd jump out here at the slightest sound of trouble, but I still didn't feel completely safe. I hadn't since Elena bumped into Stefan that day.
"Bonnie!" a voice called. "Hey Bonnie, wait up!"
It was Jeremy. I smiled. "I swear I'll text when I'm home."
He shook his head. "That's not what I wanted."
I unlocked my car and threw my bag, and the useless book, inside. "What's up, Jer?"
He looked down, kind of shy. "I just wanted to see how you were."
Bored. Annoyed. Sick of vampires. "I'm fine."
"Shit, anything but fine." he groaned.
I smirked. "And what is that supposed to mean?"
He leaned against my car and looked at me. Jeremy may have been younger, but that didn't hinder his cuteness at all. With most of the towns resident bachelors being dead, undead, or Matt, Jeremy's stock was considerably high. We'd had some pretty close moments, but he still had something for Anna and I wasn't going there. Sometimes I wonder though…
He waved his hand in front of my face. "Jesus, am I that boring?"
I shrugged. "Only slightly."
He bumped me with his shoulder. "Seriously, Bon. What's going on? If you aren't casting spells, you're zoning out. If you aren't zoning out, you're in a corner zoning out."
"Aren't those the same thing?" I asked.
"Bonnie…" He got serious.
I sighed. What could I say? That every since I'd discovered that I was a witch, everyone else had their own agenda for my magic but me? Or how about that one of my best friends couldn't keep herself away from death while the other one was already dead? I was powerful when I was being used and powerless to what I really wanted. My Grams was dead, my father and I hadn't talked in weeks, and I couldn't step two feet out of my front door without stepping into someone else's bullshit.
No, I couldn't say those things.
"I've just had a lot on my mind." I said.
He motioned for me to go on.
I wasn't in the mood. "Look Jer, I'm fine. Really. Stop reading so many Google quotes. Sometimes when a girl says she's fine, she really is."
Jeremy sighed and held up his phone. "When you get home."
"You'll be the first to know." I winked.
He waited until I got in my car before he headed back inside, and waved until I got on the road. I chanted a spell over him, just until I knew he was safe inside the boarding house. All of us had a history of being snatched, grabbed, stabbed, and other things just outside of earshot. We couldn't risk any of that happening again, especially not with Originals out there.
The drive home was quiet and, when I opened the front door, so was the house. it was the peaceful kind of quiet that came with an out late father and a protection spell. I kicked off my shoes and sat in the living room, staring into the empty darkness of the fireplace.
And then I screamed.
Flames sprang to life as my anger roared out of me. A breeze whipped at my hair and sent old newspapers flying around the room. I could feel my power rising, the power that I'd been using for everyone and everything and every goddamn problem that Mystic Falls had. It begged for me to use it, to leave this place, to find something new. It wanted to push the boundaries of every guideline Grams had laid for me and challenge any enemy I had. It didn't want to help Elena or Stefan, it wanted to be free. It wanted to free me. Playing with vampires and werewolves was nothing compared to magic could truly do for me. If I could only get away…
The flames died immediately and my tears started. I was sobbing and rocking back and forth on the couch, holding myself and shaking. I drew my knees up to my chest and sobbed for everything I'd lost. The grandmother I could only see when I needed warning. The relationship with my father who, after finding out I was a witch, couldn't really grasp it. The life I'd had before all of this even came to pass. The future I would never have if everything kept going the way that it did. For the first time in my life, I hated everyone and everything.
And that included my friends.
A/N: So hopefully you guys enjoyed it. Don't hate me if you didn't. It's a work in progress and I'll get better. Bonnie's not Emo or anything, she's just really misunderstood and out of sync with the rest of the group. Thank you guys for reading!