The various members of the Normandy's crew were enjoying their shore leave at Purgatory. Garrus, Liara, Shepard, Deacon and Vega were enjoying a round of drinks and chatting about the various exciting things that happened in the last week. They were laughing when Shepard noticed a sudden movement by the bar, followed by a distinct gunshot. Every armed member of the ground crew was instantly alert and had their firearms out and ready for anything. The music stopped, replaced by a silence so strong that Shepard could hear Liara's biotics humming from across the table.

That's when they noticed the person holding the gun.

Lauren stepped out from behind the bar, her pistol held lazily at her side. Her high heels clicked on Purgatory's floor, making an echoing noise as she walked. She stopped a few feet from a person who lay motionless on the floor.

"Funny. I only shot him with a blank." She tilted her head to the side. "I want him out of here." She said loudly.

They watched as one of Lauren's mercenaries came and picked up the man on the floor and dragged him towards the entrance. Lauren watched the man go before she looked up at the DJ, who was standing in his booth with a blank look on his face.

"What the hell are you doing? I'm paying you dextro-shit." She said loudly. "Turn the damn music back on!"

The DJ complied and the bar seemed to shift back to normal when Lauren stalked up to the VIP lounge.

Shepard looked at the occupants of their table. "Remind me never to piss her off." The spectre said dully as she holstered her pistol.

"She's certainly intimidating." Liara hummed. "When she's working."

Deacon relaxed at the table and picked up his beer. "And when you give her a headache. I thought she was going to kill Donnelly yesterday morning."

"It's because of her life on Omega," Garrus said as he played with the little paper umbrella that came on his drink with a sort of childlike amusement. "Most people don't bother mercenaries at all - it's no wonder she is quick to be upset or annoyed - she expects the crew to leave her alone."

Vega nodded in agreement. "Too bad the crew can't go out of their way to avoid her."

"Everyone has to cope with something. In Lauren's case is the crew - mine is power malfunctions." Liara said as she fished the olive out of her martini.

"Mine is insomnia." Shepard said thoughtfully as she frowned at her empty glass. "And empty glasses."

"Let me fix that." Derimus was at the table, a tray in his talons. He picked up another glass of beer and set it down in front of Shepard before taking her empty glass.

"Nice timing." Deacon commented.

The turian shrugged. "Drinks are on the house."

"That's generous." Vega said from his chair. "Whose paying?"

"Blondie," Derimus answered quickly. "Said something about making sure everyone got to relax tonight."

"She said that?" Shepard asked while she picked up her beer and sniffed it.

"Well...that's not exactly what she said, but it's close." Derimus tucked the tray under his arm. "There was a lot more colorful euphemisms and angry muttering."

There was a sudden crunch and everyone looked at Garrus, who was sadly staring at the torn paper umbrella.

"Damn it." The turian muttered.

The occupants of the table laughed.

"I'll get you another one," Derimus said as he headed back for the bar. "Wouldn't want Archangel to get bored."

Garrus sniffed sadly and dropped his umbrella on the table. "I was just trying to see if I could open it further."

Shepard reached over and patted the top of Garrus's head. "Aw, poor boy."

Deacon joined in, patting the turian's shoulder. "Whose a good turian?"

Garrus deflated and looked at Liara, who just shrugged and laughed at him.

"Be careful guys," Lauren said from nearby.

Everyone at the table looked up at Lauren, who was holding a paper umbrella between her fingers and twirling it slightly.

"He bites." The biotic held out the umbrella to Garrus who took it gingerly from her.

"He wouldn't bite me." Shepard smiled. "But I wouldn't put it past him to nip at Deacon the next time he "misplaces" the cleaning gear."

Garrus gave Deacon a hard stare. "You said you lost it."

The engineer scooted closer to Liara and took a sip of his drink. "So who was the unlucky bar patron we saw earlier?"

Lauren leaned up against the table and stuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Just some idiot that decided he was going to try to play grab-ass with my agent Sevah. I doubt he'll try it again once he limps his way back here after his ass heals up."

"You shot him in the ass?" Deacon looked somewhat alarmed.

"With a blank." Lauren assured him. "Besides, it's not like I meant to shoot him in the ass. I was aiming for his..."

Deacon and Garrus both stopped and cringed. Shepard shook her head and Liara grimaced.

Lauren smirked and laughed a bit before pulling out another paper umbrella, this time sticking it in the small gap between Garrus's fringe on his head.

"Have fun!" She said happily before she disappeared towards the bar again.

Garrus blinked. "What did she just do to my fringe?"