All the usual Disclaimers… I don't own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.
Beta'd by SunflowerFran Thank you! **Mistakes are always my own**
This is my first time posting a story so bear with me and I hope you enjoy it.
My name is Isabella Marie Dwyer. My life started in the slums of Chicago and ironically, my out came in the form of Aro Volturi, Drug Lord. I became his fearless protégé. He taught me everything I know; everything except love. Edward Cullen-Chicago PD's newest recruit—took on that task. And I wanted it, but getting out isn't easy. There's a price to pay, a sacrifice to make, and I'm it … dying in place of someone I love ... right where I belong.
I've thought a lot about the way I'd die. Someone like me-born into this life-can't help but end up in a gutter somewhere. I hoped I'd escaped that fate but-ending up here-giving my life this way so he can have his. It's fitting. It has been the only selfless thing I've done since I've been back. I should have stayed away. I deserve this for the pain I've caused. I lay here broken and alone, too stubborn to close my eyes, struggling to breath. I don't know if I'll make it through the night or if this will be the last breath I take.
All of these thoughts, no matter how scary they seem, are only second to his face … Edward.
I want to tell him how sorry I am.
I want him to know I didn't mean it.
I need him to know how much I love him.
Regret fills me as I know I will never get to say the words to him and he'll never know how much he really means to me. I wish I had paper and a pen to scribble down an' I love you' but it seems pointless to even try. I doubt I could move an inch. I'm exhausted, and I think if I give in-let go of the fear, and just close my eyes, I could be with him again.
I could dream.
We could be together.
I could love him and let him love me, and I won't be lost any longer.
That's not a bad way to go.
Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean 'until we meet again'. I take comfort in those words. Words he uttered to me so long ago … in a different time and place.
In the beginning, when I still had a choice to make.
"Bella, you know goodbyes are not forever…" Edward tucks some loose hair behind my ear. He's done it so often over the past two years-it's comforting to have him do it again. "Goodbyes are not the end …" I'm not sure if leaving helps but I can't take the chance. Edward has been my best friend; my confidant, partner in crime, my savior. I never would have survived the last couple of years without him. He gave me a reason to live. "They simply mean until we meet again."
"I'll be back." I say through tears.
"Then why are you crying?" He gives me that crooked grin, palming my cheeks swiping away tears. "You don't have to go Bella. I don't want you to go." He half pleads. "I love you."
I want to say it back but the words have always been as elusive as the feeling … until Edward. I love him, and the words are on the tip of my tongue, but they never pass my lips.
"One year, I'll be back.
Wait for me?"
One year turned into two, two turned into ten.
The heartache and pain of what I've lost hurts more than the broken bones-cuts deeper than the gashes-and drains all my resolve, more than my weary muscles.
Warm tears pool and slide down across my face and onto the cold slab of concrete. "Be happy Edward … I'll always love you." I close my eyes and welcome the sudden warmth that overtakes me, as sparkling, green eyes and copper hair fill my thoughts in brilliant Technicolor.
Hope you enjoyed my first chapter. I'd love to know what you think.
It only takes a second to do something that means so much to every writer, but especially to new ones so ... Thanks for giving this a chance!