A/N: This was fun to write! For the most part, a few of the characters are OOC for this story but it's supposed to be humorous (at least once it reaches "Heart Full of Love")! Also, the phrases in italics means that the character is singing the line (except the French words). Some of the lyrics may be slightly different in order to fit the story. Enjoy!

By the way, it is funnier if you picture everyone singing the lines over-dramatically… especially Enjolras : )

Disclaimer: I never have owned Les Miserables and I never will :/


By ThePolishWolf

The moment Enjolras had finished his speech, he grabbed his crimson waistcoat and raced out of the café. Les Amis watched him depart with curious expressions.

"Why did he leave so fast?" wondered Combeferre out loud.

Grantaire stumbled over to him, already having finished off his third bottle of wine that evening. "I do not know, mon ami, but he has been acting peculiar all day. Perhaps he has fallen ill?"

Courfeyrac, Joly, and Jehan strolled over to the pair. "Did someone say 'ill'?" asked Joly, his tone becoming shriller. "You mean to say Enjolras has been sick this entire time? Gah, I shook his hand when I entered earlier!"

Jehan laughed softly. "I think you are mistaken, mon amis. Enjolras is not ill… at least not from any curable disease."

The others furrowed their brows while Joly's eyes widened upon hearing the word 'disease'. "What do you mean?" asked Courfeyrac.

Jehan smiled. "Our leader has fallen in love."

Grantaire and Courfeyrac exchanged a glance… and then immediately burst into raucous laughter. "Enjolras cannot be in love! That's preposterous!"

Combeferre nodded. "It seems unlikely, Jehan. After all, Enjolras has sworn that he will never fall in love; he does not want to have any distractions from his revolution."

"Well it seems that he has changed his mind," replied Jehan with a shrug. "Enjolras pulled me aside before the meeting began and asked me if it was possible to fall in love with someone so fast. Then he proceeded to tell me that he bumped into a young gamine at the market this morning and now he can't stop thinking about her."

Courfeyrac shook his head in disbelief. "I highly doubt that, Jehan. Surely Enjolras was pulling your leg!"

Combeferre put his hand on Courfeyrac's shoulder and said, "Mon ami, we have known Enjolras for a few years now. When has the man ever jested?"

"Hm… touché."

Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Grantaire, Joly, and Jehan were the last ones to leave Café Musain. With Joly and Combeferre supporting the inebriated Grantaire, began to make their way down the streets when they noticed two figures talking in the shadows; one was significantly shorter than the other... like the size of a child. Les Amis stopped in their tracks. "Is that Gavroche?" Combeferre asked Courfeyrac.

"I think it is," Courfeyrac replied, squinting his eyes so he could see them better. "But who is he talking to?"

"Isn't that Enjolras?"

"Yes, I do believe it is! What could they possibly discussing?" wondered Joly.

"Perhaps this is why Enjolras was in such a hurry to leave after the meeting," commented Combeferre. "Should we approach them?"

"I do not know... they seem to be acting rather secretive if you ask me."

They watched in silence as Enjolras handed the young gamin a few francs. Gavroche smiled, grabbed Enjolras's hand, and led Enjolras down a nearby alleyway.

"I wonder where they're going?" Courfeyrac asked out loud.

"Let's follow them!" exclaimed Grantaire loudly, waving his wine bottle as he did. He broke free of Combeferre's and Joly's grips and raced after the marble leader. Les Amis exchanged irritated glances and took off after Grantaire.

"This does not look sanitary!" Joly whispered sharply as him and the rest of Les Amis trudged through the dark, dirty alleyways of Paris.

Courfeyrac rolled his eyes while Combeferre said to Joly, "No need to fret about it, we're nearly there. Enjolras and Gavroche have stopped ahead."

"What else can you see?" asked Jehan, who was in the very back of the group.

"Gavroche is pointing across the street at something. Enjolras nodded... and now Gavroche is leaving. Enjolras is out in the middle of the street now... oh, now he's disappeared."

"Hurry up!" Grantaire urged. "I want to know what our righteous leader is doing sneaking around Paris late at night."

"But we are sneaking around Paris late at night, too..." commented Jehan.

Les Amis reached the end of the alleyway and stepped out onto the street. The found themselves staring at a small park-like area, where Enjolras was pacing back and forth nervously.

"Quick!" whispered Grantaire. "Let's all get behind those bushes!"

"You are enjoying this far too much, mon ami," said Combeferre, shaking his head. Nevertheless, Les Amis crammed behind the row of bushes bordering the park, peering through the branches to get a good view of their leader.

"Look, someone's coming," Courfeyrac said nudging the others. A thin girl dressed in a tattered frock entered their line of sight.

"It's a woman!" Joly remarked. "And she is approaching Enjolras!"

"It may be the gamine Enjolras mentioned earlier," Jehan suggested. He sighed and said, "How romantic..."

Les Amis fell into silence. Both the gamine and Enjolras appeared to be shy but it was Enjolras who took the first step.

"A heart full of love!" sang Enjolras, an uncharacteristic grin spreading on his lips. He shook his head and said, "No, no… a heart full of song!"

Enjolras slapped his forehead, apparently not satisfied with how his professing of love was coming out, and exclaimed, "Gah, I'm doing everything all wrong!"

Les Amis had to repress the urge to laugh at their leader fumbling for the right words.

"Oh, God, for shame! I do not even know your name…"

He gripped the gamine's hand tightly and the jaws of the Amis dropped simultaneously. He was willingly touching a woman! "If he is going to keep acting like this then I am going to need more wine…" muttered Grantaire rolling his eyes.

"Dear mademoiselle, won't you say? Will you tell?"

"A heart full of love," sang the gamine with a smile. "No fear, no regret!"

"She very well may regret it in the morning…" murmured Courfeyrac.

"My name is Enjolras, mademoiselle…"

"Mine's Éponine…"

"What?" cried Combeferre. "They are introducing themselves after they have confessed their love for one another? That sounds highly illogical…"

"It is called love, Combeferre!" Jehan said passionately. "Love does not answer to logic."

Courfeyrac snorted. "That explains why Enjolras of all people has fallen in love."

Enjolras appeared to be ecstatic now that he knew the name of his beloved. "Éponine, I don't know what to say!"

With a shy smile, Éponine replied, "Then make no sound."

"I am lost," whispered Enjolras.

"You are way past lost, mon ami…" muttered Grantaire taking a swig of his wine.

Éponine sighed softly. "I am found."

"A heart full of light."

Combeferre waved his arms. "Hold on! I thought he had a heart full of love?"

"Well now it is a heart full of light!" said Courfeyrac rolling his eyes. "You need to keep up, Combeferre."

"A night bright as day," the two of them sang in unison. Enjolras tightened his grip on Éponine's dainty hands and said fervently, "And you must never go away!"

Les Amis gasped again. "Hah!" barked Grantaire. "I never knew our fierce leader was so needy."

"'Ponine, 'Ponine…"

"This is a chain will never break!"

Enjolras gazed into Éponine's eyes with a dazed expression on his face. "Do I dream?"

Courfeyrac smacked his forehead against the wall. "Heavens, I hope this isn't what he dreams about… these images have already ingrained themselves in my mind. I do not need to imagine any more love-filled dreams that involve Enjolras fawning over a lady."

"This could be a lot worse," reasoned Combeferre. "He could be frolicking through the garden and singing to woodland creatures."

"The night is not over yet, my friends!" Grantaire said laughing.

Now the two of them were bringing their duet to a end. "For it's not a dream after all!"

When it grew silent, Les Amis let out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness that is over," murmured Courfeyrac. "Hopefully he has gotten this out of his system and will return back to his normal, hard-hearted self in no time."

All Les Amis had started to leave except for Jehan. He continued to peer through the bushes, a wide grin appearing on his boyish features. "I do not think it will happen any time soon, Courf," commented Jehan.

The boys exchanged confused glances. Creeping back into their hiding spots, Les Amis watched as their leader caressed the cheek of the gamine gently.

"What is he doing?" whispered Combeferre.

"Well," started Jehan, "when a man and a woman love each other-"

"I know that. I meant what is his reasoning behind this? He repeatedly told us how he did not want to fall in lo–"

Combeferre was cut off abruptly when Enjolras leaned in close to Éponine and planted a tender kiss on her lips.

All the Amis jaws' dropped in sync yet again as their leader's arms wrapped around Éponine and pulled her close, his hands running up and down her back. There was an awkward silence amongst Les Amis as they tried to process the scene that was unfolding before them.

"Is he–?"

"Surely not–"

"This is how diseases are spread!"

Jehan punched Joly in the arm.

"Well," said Grantaire with a wide grin, "look on the bright side, mon amis: we can give him hell about this for the rest of his life!"

A/N: So what do you think? It's not an all-out funny story, but I wanted to try something different. Besides I always wondered what it would be like if Mariette was switched with Enjonine. Hope you guys liked it! If you want me to do more humorous retellings of Les Miserables scenes let me know!

Also, this is NOT supposed to be a serious story so please no hating on it. I don't mind critiques but this was just for fun, so keep that in mind! Thanks to all who read/favorite/review! You guys rock!