This is a Edward-Bella one-shot. It takes place after Edward faced Bella with the decision of having to choose between him or James.
"You have to choose Bella, me or James. You can't have both." he said with the most serious expression on his face that I'd ever seen.
I sat there and stared at Edward, thoughts flying through my mind about the ultimatum he just presented to me. Edward, the man I've been in love with since I was 19 years old, the father of my children, but also the man that cheated on me by sleeping with his ex girlfriend or James, the guy that has been the only constant in my life for the past eight months. The guy that I've been friends with for a very long time, that was there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on while my husband was traveling the world, but also the guy that I kissed one night while drunk; the reason all of this started.
I looked at Edward with tears streaming down my cheek and even more coming from my eyes as I struggled to come up with an answer. "I'm sorry" I cried. "I'm so sorry"
"Bella?" Edward asked me, his voice shaking from uncertainty. I glanced up to see the anxiousness in his eyes, as he wonders my choice.
"I just, can I say goodbye?" I finally asked him.
"What do you mean?"
"Can I say goodbye to James? I can't just leave him hanging."
I saw a smile break across Edward's face as he realized what I had just said. He nodded his head, "Absolutely."
"Thank you." I said giving Edward a hug, him wrapping his arms around me.
"I was scared for a second, I didn't know who you'd choose."
I looked up at him and sniffed away my tears, "Did you ever think you wouldn't be my choice Edward? You always were and always will be my choice."
"Well, I haven't always been." he said with a giggle.
"You have been since I was nineteen." Edward smiled and kissed my forehead.
"I've missed doing this you know."
"This, kissing you. The past eight months have been pure hell for me Bella, I don't think I can even begin to describe to you how awful they have been."
"I think I can understand because I was going through the same thing."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I thought for a second, Do I want to talk about it and relive everything we went through? Or do I want to just let it go and forget it ever happened? The answer is that I want to do both, I want to forgive and forget but I know I won't be able to just like that. Too much has happened.
"Sure" I said giving him my answer. He nodded his head.
"Do you want to start?"
I nodded my head, "I don't even know where to begin." I laughed. "The night that you called me for the first time and accused me of cheating was the night that everything changed, I didn't want things to change but I knew they were going to. I felt betrayed, like you didn't have enough trust and faith in me. You doubted my love and it bothered me and that's why I did it I guess."
I looked at Edward who was listening intently to me, for the first time in eight months we were letting go of all our emotions and saying exactly what we felt. We were on the first step to recovery. "After it happened I felt awful and that's why I got on a plane to see you and tell you immediately. I couldn't not tell you. The plane ride was just awful enough thinking about it, because I thought for sure it'd be all over. I never knew it would turn into this long thing, I never knew it would lead to where it did."
I looked down in disappointment of myself, "And then when I found out about you and Tanya I felt so betrayed" I looked at Edward who lowered his head at the mention of his ron' de voux with Tanya. "It made any anger I had in my body and multiplied it by a thousand. For the time time in our marriage I doubted if we could make it through. I didn't want to give up, but I thought I had to."
"I started drinking again because I was so low. Every night our issues ate at me, I couldn't sleep and I wanted to just spend all my time at the office to try and get my mind off of what was going on. I wanted to try to escape it but I couldn't. Everywhere I went I saw something about it, something that reminded me of it or you. I couldn't escape it." I let a few tears fall from my eyes as Edward pulled me in to him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."
"No, it felt good." I sat up and looked at Edward, "I want to hear your side." I said as I used a tissue to wipe away my tears.
Edward nodded his head and began talking, "I was so surprised when I saw you after the concert, I was so excited even if I didn't show it. I was just in shock, and then when I saw your face and you said we had to talk I knew something was wrong. When you told me it seemed like everything fell apart. I felt like everything we had worked for came tumbling down when you said you kissed him."
"That night on the bus I was silent, I didn't want to talk to anyone but Emmet and Jasper kept bothering me and asking me why you showed up and then left in a matter of an hour. I finally broke down and told them in the middle of the night. I woke them up at three in the morning," Edward let out a laugh at the recollection. "They helped me through it, that night anyway. They didn't leave my side. It made me realize that I am so thankful for them to be my brothers, it made me feel a deeper connection with them."
"I had so many different feelings about you, I felt betrayed and wanted to hate you but I couldn't because I was so in love with you. I don't know why I did it, I guess I just wanted to get revenge on you and I knew the only way how was to be to sleep with Tanya. After it happened I knew it was the biggest mistake I had ever made. But if it is any consolation, it wasn't that good. Do you know why?" I shook my head. "Because the whole time you were in my mind, no matter how much I tried to push you out. You were there."
"I told Emmet and Jasper the next day, they were shocked and furious with me. I made them promise not to tell you but I should have known you'd find out."
"I always do" I said and Edward laughed and nodded his head.
"You sure do. Every time we had to see each other, I was looking forward to it. I knew we had so many problems but I wanted to work on them and I hoped that each time maybe we could but when it came time to, I couldn't do it. I felt that resentment towards you and I felt the disappointment in myself."
"I wanted you to not hang out with James anymore, I knew I had a right to ask you not to hang out with him, but I promised myself I would never be that controlling husband. It wasn't until last week that I realized that I had a right to be selfish, I married you, you had my children. Your mine and if we wanted to go anywhere we had to have that conversation, you had to choose. How could we get to a solution if we didn't get rid of the problem? I'm not going to lie, there were moments of doubt in my mind, for a second I thought you were going to choose him." Edward looked down at his feet.
I put my hand on his chin and tilted his head up towards me, "I'd never choose another guy over you Edward. You're the love of my life, I'm in love with you and if anything, these eight months have made me realize that more then anything. I'm your biggest fan." I smiled at Edward, he leaned over and kissed me on the lips. "I've missed that so much."
"Me too babe, me too"
Edward and I may not have fixed all of our problems in just one conversation, but we overcame the biggest obstacle. When your in love you can overcome anything. Edward and I our living proof of that.
Let me know what you think! And what would you like to see in the next one shot?