Disclaimer: I don't own Fate/Stay Night. I don't own WH40K. Thanks Slayer End for betaing.

Chapter One:

The Wizard who did it

Zelretch, also known as 'The Kaleidoscope' or 'the wizard who did it', was bored.

No, bored wasn't enough. He was utterly, completely, and horrifically bored. Tired of seeing the same realities over and over, he was seriously in need of enjoyment. Perhaps messing with a world would give him a sliver of excitement?

Oh, wait… Perhaps, if he messed with the summoning of the Servants of one reality…

Zelretch grinned mischievously. The Masters of the Fifth Holy Grail War were going to be in for a nasty surprise.

When Ilya brought Berserker to her grandpa, he was sorely disappointed. Certainly, this Berserker wasn't Heracles.

An eight foot tall man, clad in a scary crimson armor fond of skull symbols, leaving only the left arm and strands of greyish hair exposed, Berserker was wielding two weapons. A sort of gun with the right, and an axe-shaped chainsaw with the left – he never talked, never answered questions… and in fact, Ilya wondered if the Mad Enhancement was truly working or not.

Her grandpa scolded her, going into rage. They had gone through such troubles to secure the necessary components to summon the legendary Greek hero. He told Ilya she was a useless piece of junk, just like her father was. That she was a shame to the Einzbern family.

It was at this moment Berserker chopped his head off with the aforementioned chainsaw.

Then he started killing the homunculi tasked to ensure the dead man's safety… then the magi working for him… THEN the chimera they kept as familiars. He finished by setting the entire place on fire.

All while chanting: "Maim! Kill! Burn!"

When he was over, he deposed a dozen severed heads before the shocked Ilya, "Blood… for the blood god!" he roared with rage in his voice, "SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!"

Most people would feel horrified by the madman's reactions, even if the Einzbern were mostly arrogant, self-centered assholes. Most would be terrified by his idea of a gift, and try getting away from him as fast as they could before the killing machine decided to go on a another rampage.

Ilya just found her Servant to be effing awesome.

Kirei Kotomine had seen Alexander summoning armies, a golden king convinced the world belonged to him, a black knight able to turn machine guns into Noble Phantasms, but God, he had never seen that kind of Servant.

It appeared Bazett had botched the summoning spectacularly.

"How good of you," the creature spoke with an emotionless, mechanical voice, "To have brought me this gift. Terran sorceresses of this particular breed are so rare nowadays, and one was needed for my Terra collection. How fortunate I am to have such a well-meaning Master."

The… Servant… was a robot. Kirei Kotomine, unlike most magi, was aware of the concept due to his dealings with the modern world, and this creature was obviously a sentient machine. Its form was close to a humanoid skeleton, whose components were either grey or blue. Its eyes were shining with green light and it was wearing a black cape of what appeared to be a steel-based material. It was carrying a very advanced looking device that appeared to be some kind of pointed staff-spear.

"Ah, I am sorry if my appearance frightens you," the machine said, "It is true that we Necron have been at war for countless eons with other species, but have no fear. I have no interest in conquest, only in rarity. Hopefully, your gift is the proof we can reach a common understanding. However, I would suggest stunning specimens next time. This one is damaged."

Kotomine had no idea what a Necron was, and contented himself with a glance at Bazett, bleeding at his foot, stabbed in the back. "I still need to recover her Command Spells," he pointed out. "Is that possible?"

"I do not mind, as long as she can stay functional," the robot replied, locking eyes with Kirei. "If I may ask, do you happen to have a male Archibald as well? I have always been looking forward to completing my set."

"What are you doing?" Kuzuki asked out of genuine curiosity over the sorcerer's work.

"I am telling the laws of physics to shut up and obey," the armored man explained softly as space itself was torn apart under the moonlight. "This inferior body in which I am confined limits my tremendous cosmic power to an extent you cannot grasp. At my peak, I could summon armies and reshape the fabric of the universe itself… but as I am now, I have to focus on spells I could normally complete with my eyes closed. Though full of opportunities, a second life is a truly terrible experience."

Kuzuki himself only roughly understood the situation. He had rescued this man as he was dying alone, begging for help. In spite of his strange appearance and name, 'Caster', the former assassin had obliged, nursing him back to health and accepting his offer of partnership.

And here the sorcerer was, casting spells with his long black staff. The mage was wearing black and blue armor, covered with black robes matching his impressive tallness. His face was hidden underneath a horned, white helmet and the exposed eyes were shining with a blue glow.

"Hopefully… this Holy Grail will be worth the humiliation," Caster spoke with a deep voice, as he finished calling upon powers Kuzuki did not understand. "I will summon Rubric Marines to protect you. If you could give me a plan of the city, it would work excellently to elaborate a strategy. If everything goes just as planned, this war will be over before it even begins. The Grail shall be ours to seize. Then a god I shall become!"

"Whatever you want," the killer shrugged.

"Oh, you summoned a Rider, Sakura," Zouken Matou noted, as the dust settled. "And it appears to be an elf."

Sakura Matou squirmed, doubting her grandfather's assessment. The man in front of her certainly was not a pure creature of the forest.

The man was dressed in long, flowing robes of silver, barely hiding the black armor underneath. His face was pale and gaunt, his hair was jet black, and his eyes were two pits of darkness radiating with cruelty. The thin smile over his face was nothing short of demonic. "Congratulation, Human Mistress, on summoning our Lord and freeing him of She Who Thirsts. Your victory is assured, and my thanks eternal."

She was aware the Servant's words were instantly translated from his native language into Japanese, but they still sounded strange. Elves were rumored to be tricksters, so could he have been speaking in riddles?

"Meh, nothing impressive," Shinji sneered distastefully. Knowing Sakura's Servant would become his, he had secretly hoped for a woman to satisfy his darkest fantasies, or without that, a powerful warrior. This one appeared weak. "I shouldn't be surprised Sakura summoned a fairy-"

Rider's hand raised and smashed Shinji's face, throwing him to the ground and shattering his jaw. Before Sakura could even blink, the Servant's iron boot trampled upon her brother's skull, pinning it the ground. Zouken merrily raised an eyebrow, vaguely amused.

"You have no idea who you are speaking to, is it not, barbarian creature?" The warrior sneered. "I am the master. I am the one that all bow to and call Lord. I am the vanquisher of worlds, the destroyer of dreams, and the creator of nightmares. I am the pirate king, the renegade prince. I am all these things and more, for I am Asdrubael Vect and all the warriors of the Black Heart are mine to command. And you," Rider's smile grew, and his voice echoed with gleeful sadism, "You are my new plaything."

Rin's summoning not only destroyed a room, but her dignity as well.

She had hoped for a Saber, a great knight or samurai, and… the result was an utter catastrophe. Firstly, the Servant was everything but a swordsman and stood twenty feet tall. Secondly, he wasn't human. Thirdly, in two minutes, he had eaten all of the meat in the refrigerator. Fourthly, the translation spell apparently malfunctioned, for she had troubles understanding the creature.

"Orkz is made fer' two fings! Fightin', and winnin'!"

The creature was… some sort of oversized goblin armed to the teeth. In fact, the only part of flesh visible was his green head, with a third of the skull was replaced by metal. His entire body was clad in mismatched armor whose creator obviously did not understand the word 'practicality'. The left hand had been replaced by a giant claw, the right by a giant canon. What had replaced his sanity, however, remained a mystery.

"We is gonna stomp da Fuyuki flat and kill anyfink that fights back!" the creature roared with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.

At least she had no difficulty understanding that much.

As Zouken Matou finished drawing the arrays on the ground, he wondered what had caused his world to go up in flames so quickly.

He had been proud of Sakura, when she had summoned such a ruthless and powerful creature. Elves were among the most powerful members of the fair folk, and dark elves were rumored to be masters of ancient and foul sorcery. The Matou had been content, seeing it as a good step toward winning the Grail War.

He had even allowed this Vect character to keep his worthless grandson to feed on his soul, and been happy with letting him act freely. In Zouken's mind, everything would go on perfectly.

This impression lasted until Rider decided he wanted a second plaything.

Zouken had been forced to flee his own house with his tail between his legs, pursued by faceless creatures the dark elf had summoned to work as his enforcers. The familiars he'd placed in Sakura were non-responsive, which meant either they had been removed or his granddaughter was dead. Both possibilities were equally bad.

Running out of options, Zouken had decided summoning a Servant would be his only recourse. He needed a protection against the dark elf, one a Saber could provide. Hopefully, this class hadn't been summoned. Unfortunately, he had sent worms to observe the other Servants.

It appeared the Grail had been corrupted beyond his even his worst calculations. The Eizbern's Berserker collected the skulls of people as trophies; Kotomine's Lancer was fond of stuffing magi; the Caster dabbled in demonology; Tohsaka's Archer was a monster, and completely insane.

If Zouken summoned a Servant himself, there was a high chance whatever beast Angra Mainyu made possible to summon would attack. He would need to use the Command Spells immediately.

The burned field of Fuyuki was a place with a strong connection to the Grail, allowing Zouken to summon a Servant without the material and catalysts Rider had confiscated. A red light filled the clearing, and a towering beast materialized. It easily overshadowed Zouken, who couldn't repress a feeling of awe before the terrifying monster.

It was reptilian in shape and appearance, with a white and violet carapace stretched over its limbs. It had a tail, a long horn, many eyes, and a predatory maw. Its four hands each wielded a black saber, radiating with power. But… it wasn't Saber. "On the Command Spell, Assas-"

Zouken never finished his sentence. His skull was bitten off by vicious fangs before he could blink.

While hissing, the creature feasted on the old magus and ate him whole. Worms attempted to flee, only for swiftly swinging blades to welcome them. The monster relished in the bloodshed as it destroyed Zouken's existence down to last insect.

The last thing the last of Zouken's worms saw was acid-filled intestines.

When it was finished eating, the monstrous creature, also known as Tyranid, finished analyzing the genetic material it had consumed. Memories, DNA, and prana were wholly assimilated by the creature, all for the sake of self-improvement.

The creature was confused. The connection with the Hive Mind was lost, and for the first time of its long, immemorial existence, the beast was alone. This disturbed it, frightened it. It was lost on an unknown planet without orders, without its specie, surrounded by prey and predator alike. No fleet answered its mental call.

The Tyranid was scared. Were its brethren too far away? Were they… gone?

It looked into its newest prey's genetic memory. It was primitive, inferior to the pure efficiency of the Tyranid, but it was useful. It learned about the land it was on, Fuyuki, and about the weapon the worms wanted to gain – the Grail. It learned about the competition, the frightening entities having arrived to war on each other for power, glory and survival.

The Tyranid had fought some of them in the past… and been killed by one of them.

It analyzed and planned. This Grail superweapon could allow for it to return to the Hive Mind and end its loneliness. But, the Tyranid needed a human partner to win… and it had devoured the last one. It had to be corrected, but the other partners were taken and protected.

The Tyranid had to make its own partner.

Searching into the genetic material again, the creature found the data of two potential 'Masters': Its latest prey, and another that had been devoured. The bioform "Zouken Matou" was weak and decayed, and the way it mistreated its own progeny meant it would be a bad addition to the hive. The other lifeform "Kariya Matou" had been devoured by worms in the previous war, and its genetic material had been preserved.

The more the Tyranid learned about this Kariya breed, the more pleased it became. He had shown surprising resilience and resistance to pain, finished third in the last competition, and died for the greater good of his progeny. This mindset pleased the Tyranid, who decided the Kariya breed would strengthen the swarm.

The Tyranid went on to find material. It wasn't born to produce, but its new 'Noble Phantasm' function would certainly solve the problem.

… being a giant predator from outer space had its perks.

Shirou was having a bad week.

His bad week started when he crossed paths with a rather creepy little girl who, upon seeing him, had given a wicked grin. "I hope Khorne will let me keep your skull," she'd said cheerfully before leaving him be.

Sakura, meanwhile, had been behaving strangely. After he had brought her home, some creep named Rider had intercepted them, pretending to be Sakura's bodyguard… and wearing an armor. His kohai's desperate attempts at explaining what was happening were… dubious, to say the least.

Shinji hadn't been seen in school for days, and while Sakura pretended he was abroad, the frightened glint in her eyes tipped him off. Shirou was seriously beginning to wonder if something bad had happened in the Matou household.

Then, after staying late at school to repair furniture, he was drawn outside by the sound of shootings and Gatling. When he arrived in the courtyard, it was to witness a giant goblin pitted in mortal combat against the freaking Terminator.

… With a staff.

Shirou briefly wondered if he had lost his mind until the Terminator noticed him. Then he realized maybe he was going to lose his life. Unfortunately, he was right, and the killer robot profusely apologized before piercing his heart with its bare hands.

Shirou awakened later, his heart repaired. On his way home, he tried to convince himself he had dreamt it all… and then the Terminator ambushed him in his kitchen, before cornering him outside.

"Please, stop resisting," the robot said with an emotionless, inhuman voice. "Your regenerative abilities and resilience are nothing short of outstanding and must be preserved. I will simply stun and harvest you. Freeing you from the tyranny of the flesh is an honor, not a punishment."

"G-get away!" Shirou stuttered, his back against a wall, "Leave me alone!"

"I am afraid this is not a possibility. It would too much of a waste." The creature sighed and raised its staff. "Why are you living nearly always such a bother to deal with?"


The wall behind him exploded, and a flash of light illuminated the courtyard. The robot backed up quickly, dodging the swing of a long and fiery blade.

"Back off, Necron!" a powerful voice resonated, each and every word echoing with pure power, "I shall not suffer seeing you threaten my Master!"

"The Corpse-Emperor?" The machine did not appear threatened; through its monotone the machine exuded a sense somewhere between surprise and amusement. "I see. The power of this Grail is indeed tremendous." It glanced briefly at the terrified Shirou, before leaping above the wall and vanishing into the night. "You are worthy of my collection. I will come for you both later."

Shirou stayed motionless a few seconds, until he mustered the courage to glance behind him.

"Are you fine?" the tallest man Shirou had ever seen asked, holding a gaze full of naught but kindness. He was clad in a golden armor covered with bird imagery with his left gauntlet's fingers being replaced by long claws. His right hand was wielding a fiery blade, shining with the light of the sun itself.

As for the one exposed area of his body, his face, it was a stern, yet eerily beautiful visage. He had long black hair and his eyes were burning white flames. A crown of golden laurel circled his forehead, a sign of the man's station and authority.

Shirou could only offer a shy nod, muted by this being's presence. The man smiled kindly.

"Fear not, Master. The Emperor protects."

A/N: I said I would add a crossover, so readers could be entertained while waiting for new chapters of 'What it takes to win'. Here we go.

A few of the Warhammer 40K's rules/abilities will have to be adapted to the Nasuverse's physics, so some abilities won't work exactly as they do in Warhammer (mostly psychic powers versus resistance to magecraft). The alterations will be minor, and necessary to blend both universes together. I hope you understand.

I would like to remind readers that, while the Emperor IS the strongest Servant that could be summoned in the war... he has the really incompetent Shirou as Master.

... Space Marine Shirou, anyone?

Would you kindly add a review?