I was going to post the trailer earlier, I wanted to get people excited, but then I felt bad because it wasn't an actual chapter. So, here it is! By the way, instead of updating chapters I'm going to try to clean up chapters, so if stories are updated I'm cleanin it up. I did post a chapter to Get to the choppa though! It says it's chapter four cuz I deleted the Goal thing. And thank you guys so much for your support, and not rushing me! :)
I hope you enjoy this!
I don't own the Teen Titans, or any other references in here.
Highlight of the Chapter:
Everything hmmajaaahahamamamahahahahah. I'm hilarious.
The Teen Titans Read Fan-Mail
Book 1, Chapter 22
Season/book thang finale!
The Titans sighed happily after having Thanksgiving dinner. Yum yum yum! Haha, just joking. You actually thought their Thanksgiving was all joyful? Oh, Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelen no!
As the usual in fanfictions, Cyborg and Beast Boy fought over the food, Raven groaned and sighed, and Robin and Starfire had rather an awkward evening.
As a joke, Robin had gobbled, and Starfire's eyes lit up, and she blushed. "Robin, come to my room after dinner," she whispered in his ear, cheeks a violent shade of red. Robin's eyes widened.
"All I did was gobble. Did I say it that sexily?" Robin had asked.
Nevertheless, after dinner, he went into her room, to find her dressed as a big, purple glob. "Oh, um, n-nice outfit, Star..." He told her awkwardly.
Starfire blushed. The only thing you could see what her face, arms, hands, and her feet poking out. "Why, thank you, Robin. I suppose you want to begin the Gobnaxtop Ritual?" she whispered, huskily, and began to caress the purple thing covering her.
Even if Starfire was a beautiful girl, she looked like a purple, mutated potato wearing that, and now looked like a girl with a fetish for purple mutated potatoes as she tried to seduce Robin.
Robin had been very nervous. Not another ritual. "Uh, wh-what's that?"
And then, it was like a record in Starfire's head scratched and stopped. "Oh!" she whined. "I had forgotten the differences between Earth humans and Tamaranians! You must not know what that is! Of course!"
"Don't feel bad, Star. What's the ritual?"
"Gobnaxtop means Six Children Mating Process."
"Oh, okay, we can-wait what?"
Starfire hung her down, but couldn't because of her ritual outfit. "'Gobble' on our planet means that the female's partner wants to go through Gobnaxtop with them. 'Smobble' is Smobnaxtop, which means to have five children with them. Do you understand?"
"Oh, yes, I do," Robin answered. "Sorry, Star. I know that your kind marry a bit earlier as your culture, and looove children, heh, but I'm just seventeen and you're just sixteen so...W-we'll um...t-take things slow. And not have any children yet."
"Oh, joy! Because I am not ready for it either, my k'norfka Galfore would behead me, and I have been told the Gobnaxtop outfit is hideous and it is," Starfire told him. "I tried my best to make it fit but I believe I looked like the potato, yes?"
And so yep, that's what happened. Their Thanksgiving was okay, just awkward when they tried to get Starfire out of the Gobnaxtop costume.
The Titans were always unsure about Christmas. Robin, Beast Boy, and Cyborg were with it, but Raven had her Azarathian cultures she even believed to be like her religion, and Starfire had her own religion. The boys still had always set up decorations. (Please don't review: "BUT ON TEEN TITANS GO! THEY ALL WERE LIKE WIFF IT WHAT R U TALKIN BOUT LOL?" Teen Titans is still the much more serious show, which this fanfic is based off of.)
However, as the boys set up the stockings, Starfire came blasting through the doors. "I command to meet the Santa of Knishmas!" she ordered.
Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. "What?"
Raven levitated in behind her. "Chowder was on." Raven answered monotonously.
"Rada, rada, rraaada?" Starfire giggled. She then saw a mistletoe Robin was hanging up. "Raven, what is that?"
Raven sighed. "A Christmas decoration. If two people are under it then they should kiss."
Starfire gasped, and saw Cyborg and Robin under it, as they were picking up scraps from the floor. "Robin! Please, get out of there! Cyborg, how dare you mess with my globbleflosh like that?!" Starfire demanded. Beast Boy's face paled at the Tamaranian word.
Robin looked up, and then blushed, and so did Cyborg. "Sorry, Star, we didn't mean to. We're not going to kiss."
Starfire crossed her arms, wrinkling her nose at Cyborg as she went in front of her lil' globbleflosh to guard him from cybernetic lips. Cyborg frowned. "Hey, Star, I'd never go after your flobbleglosh...?"
The alien girl calmed down. "Flobbleglosh is not a Tamaranian word, friend. It is globbleflosh, which means 'cool chair'."
Everyone raised an eyebrow, except Raven, who went on to reading a book. Because she don't give a ship!
Starfire lowered her shoulders in a negative manner. "You Earthern people call your partners the food bees make, a cute pie, and the adventurous pig, Babe."
They all went quiet, registering how weird it must sound to foreign people like Starfire.
"So I may call Robin a Tamaranian lover word, which yes, is about the chair, but is a romantic compliment, yes?"
"Yeah...I, am, uh, ahem, your cool chair, Starfire," Robin said awkwardly. She smiled brightly.
"And I am yours?"
"Yeah, you're my globblefosh, Star."
"OH, I HAVE THE JOY!" she shouted, hugging him tightly.
Beast Boy smirked and slowly put Raven's book down, although he seemed uncertain and nervous about something. She looked at him with, "What do you want, peasant?" look.
"Are my globbleflosh?" he asked her, wiggling his eyebrows in a flirty fashion. She growled, and put her book down, ignoring him. He put his finger on it, pushing it down. "Come on. Admit it, Rae."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "No, you are not my...globbleflosh."
He arched an eyebrow. "Hmph!" he scoffed, but seemed worried.
"OKAY, EVERYONE, THIS IS GONNA BE OUR LAST EPISODE FOR A WHILE!" Robin started to shout, calming down everyone and getting their attention. "So, let's make it as entertaining as we can for the viewers!"
Raven sighed. "Isn't putting our love lives and awkwardness out to the public already enough?"
"Nope, it is not," Robin wagged a finger in front of her.
Chris rang the doorbell. Cyborg opened it, and welcomed him in. They all sat down in their regular seats, when their fan-mail bags in front of them. Christopher complimented them on how well the ratings were going, and then told them, "If this episode finale sucks, I'll join Slade."
Robin snarled, and then Beast Boy said awkwardly, "Okay, ahem, let's begin."
And so, as the cameraman pressed play-
"HOLLUP!" Cyborg suddenly called out. The cameraman froze. Cyborg looked at him. "Yo, you're always filmin' us, and you always obeyin, but...What's your name? How can we not know this man's name, people?!"
The cameraman cleared his throat. "It's...um...It's Howard."
"Well, Howard, we thank you," Cyborg thanked him.
"You're welcome, Howie. Can I call you Howie?"
And so, as the cameraman pressed play, they began.
"Hello, everyone!" Beast Boy greeted. "Welcome to the season finale of Fan-Mail, Go! We're going to try our best to make it go along swimmingly. As always, we'll start with CYYYYYYYYYBAAAWWWRRRGGGG!"
My girlfriend's irrational problems have been getting out of hand. Amy says she hates my Batman shirt because it's too small for me. Yes, I have kept it for a long period of time, since I was ten. I have decided to write to you because if superheroes are hosting a webshow, why not contribute to it?
Dr. Sheldon Cooper"
Starfire pursed her lips. "He has written you a letter because he has the...girlfriend problems?" she asked Cyborg.
He nodded. "I guess so."
"Oh, ha, Raven, you'd never hate my Batman shirt, would ya?" Beast Boy playfully punched her.
Raven rolled her eyes. "Sure," she remarked sarcastically. He's saying the weirdest things today, she thought. This is the strangest flirting he's ever done. And that's saying something...
Beast Boy narrowed his emerald eyes at Raven.
"Are you...breaking up with me?"
Starfire gasped dramatically, falling over and clutching her throat, and swinging her long legs all over the place.. "NOOOOOO!" she cried. "NOOOOOOOO!"
Cyborg sighed. "Is this another part of a book or show that has a happy couple and they just have a stupid fight and break up, but they'll make up and be together forever?"
"What are you talking about?" Raven ignored him, confusion swiping over her features, and then betrayal. "You're acting so weird!"
"Well...I guess...I should tell you," Beast Boy began, dramatically.
Cyborg stopped the flashback about to bubble in. "Hold on, let me reply to Sheldon. Sheldwag, just throw out that shirt. I bet it's hella unflattering. Okay, bye." He looked back at Beast Boy. "Continue."
"So...it all started...YESTERDAY..."
Beast Boy whistled as he walked down the street, the winter breeze gently flipping his green hair. He felt peaceful and content, wondering what he should get Raven for Christmas, even if she didn't celebrate it. The Titans still gave each other presents.
He pouted his bottom lip out, feeling confused. He always got her something that is a book, looks like a book, or is about a book.
The young Titan sighed, and then saw he had randomly strolled down in an alleyway!
"What the-? Man, I was actually so lost in thought," he chuckled. Beast Boy then felt an aura coming to him, his canine senses radiating another presence. He was about to walk out of the dead end alley, when a Spanish looking man, with hair dyed blond, and hazel eyes came about in his vision.
"The name...is...Fernando," he greeted Beast Boy.
"What the fudgesicles is this?!" Beast Boy spat. "Not another O.C.!"
Fernando showed him a toothy smile, and then got sexily serious with all of his sexiness. "Hush. I hate Armando. I want him gone. He's disgracing our community." He told Beast Boy.
"Sooooo...? No one likes Armando, except that creepy German girl, dude." He then crossed his arms. "And how did you happen to find me?!"
Fernando sighed. "Okay, so I might also stalk people like Armando, but anyways-I also came to warn you. The one you love does not love you anymore!"
"What? Raven? She looooves me!" Beast Boy countered. The idea of him and Raven never to be broke his heart. "You're just another creepy O.C.! Outta my way, dude." He tried to push past him, but Fernando shook his head and blocked him.
"I can make her love you again if you help me defeat Armando."
"You're outta your mind! Let me go!"
"No, fool!" Fernando swung a slow punch, and Beast Boy ducked down.
"That was a horrible punch." Beast Boy ran out of the alley, and heard Fernando shout,
"WHEN SHE TELLS YOU YOU ARE NOT HER GLOBBLEFLOSH, YOU SHALL SEE THE LOVE FROM HER EYES, GOOOOONNNE!"
-le end, cue harp music-
"See?" Beast Boy pestered and poked at Raven.
Raven shook her head in both annoyance and disapproval. "It's weird how he knew that, but I still love you, Gar."
"Lemme check your eyes."
"He said the love from your eyes will be gone!"
"Beast Boy, I love you, really-"
He pushed her head towards him, gazing fervently upon her lavender orbs. "Interesting," he mused. She growled, and used her powers to push him away. "I think I still see it! I mean...I'm not sure if I ever did. Eh."
Raven sighed, and pecked his cheek. "There. I swear I love you."
"I believe ya, babe," he affirmed. She was about to slap him for that nickname, when he looked around nervously. "I CAN FEEL FERNANDO'S AURA!"
Chris cleared his throat.
"Oh yeah, Beast Boy, it's your turn," Robin gave him a slight push. The green Titan nodded and pulled out a fan-mail letter.
"Dear Beast Boy,
HALP WE'RE STUCK WITH A MARY SUE AND WE'RE TUGGED WHILE BEING IN A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AND WE'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED AND ARE MARRIED.
-Raven and Beast Boy from Wait Three Daily Choppa Blues!"
Beast Boy widened his green eyes. "Dang. And I thought we were in the unfortunate fanfiction," he muttered.
"Imagine...if we smashed all of the fanfictions...and all of the characters met each other." Cyborg wondered. "That's too much for my brain to comprehend. Okay, continuing on-Raven, it is your turn."
Raven sighed. "Golly gee. I'm so excited."
THE BATTLE IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!
I WARN YOU, TITANS, THAT FERNANDO WILL TRY TO KILL ME.
AND BECAUSE I AM AN O.C.,
YOU MUST HELP ME. OR HE WILL ALSO KILL YOU FOR SOME REASON...
All their bodies went stiff.
Oh hell no.
The next chapter will be very long. ^-^