I know! I know! I was horrible this week with both updating and responding to reviews. I read them all, smiled sooooo much because of you love readers, and I wanted to make sure that this chapter was good enough for you. It wasn't ready, and even right now, I'm still nervous to post it, so please give me grace! I love you all for your patience and support :)
The dreams of course continued.
He thrust deeper into me as I lay over the desk in an unfamiliar office. I try to focus on every wall as he pushes into me. Nothing is jogging my memory. It's too much and I'm doing everything not to cry out.
"Please," I beg again as he hits my special spot and my eyes roll back into my head. "Oh!"
"Be quiet," he hisses glancing briefly at the door from above me. His eyes meet mine as his expression changes. In his orbs, I see a green sky, right before a tornado, eerily still and beautiful. And within that sky, I see the heat that meets the cold front, and suddenly, within his irises, I completely understand the eye of the storm. His gaze is intense and unwavering, as I try with all my might not to tear up. I focus on breathing in and out, as his hand creeps down and starts rubbing me. I cry out.
When my orgasm hits me, I sob into his neck, not quite understanding why I'm so emotional. He continues moving and pulls back. His hand grips my face and he kisses me forcefully as his thrusts become more erratic.
"I love you so much," I whisper as I feel him spill into me. He groans into my ear and collapses on me. He pants against my face. I lift my hand and stroke his sweaty hair at the base of his neck. When he finally calms, he pulls back and kisses me slowly. His eyes are no longer as desperate as they were but rather softer, more tender.
"I love you more, Bella. Now let's clean up and get back to work. They probably heard us," he laughs.
I shot up out of bed and felt moisture against my eyes. My dream was still fresh in my mind. I rubbed my eyes to rid them of the tears. I swallowed as a sob escaped me and tried to rid myself of my dream.
It was Edward, that was clear, but the most disturbing part about it was how vivid it was. I could easily describe what that office looked like, even if I had never been inside it in person.
I had a feeling I knew why I had the dream. The other day, I had told Edward that I had broken up with Mike.
"My mom didn't hound you too badly, did she?" He asked when I went in the for my schedule. I made sure to avoid Leah before she brought up that I was going to marry Edward.
"No, but I can see where you get your persistence," I smiled. Lunch with his mother had been pretty uneventful after Edward went back to work and Leah quit bugging me about him. She did continue to talk him up, saying things like "Edward is so driven..." "Isn't Edward good looking?" "Edward is awesome.." Blah blah blah.
"Well, I'm hoping eventually that persistence will pay off," he chuckled. "Sorry about Leah, though. I know she can be overbearing at times. I told her you have a boyfriend, so she should leave you alone."
"About that..." I stuttered. "We broke up."
He stared at me for a moment before looking down and started cleaning a glass. I frowned. His jaw clenched and I could see the muscles work in his neck as he swallowed. "Are you okay?" He asked carefully.
"Oh yeah," I waved him off. "I'm totally fine. It was a long time coming. We were growing in two different directions and..." I started picking at my finger nails. "Yeah."
"You don't have to do that."
"Do what?" My eyes met his. I could see his concern and his frustration.
"Downplay your feelings about the situation."
"I-I don't know what you're talking about," I swallowed and looked down again.
"Hey," his soft voice pulled me back up. "It's okay to be upset about it even if you were both going different ways."
"Thank you," I responded quietly.
"It's what friends are for," he winked. I grinned despite my mood-killing love life.
"Ugh!" I threw back the covers and got out of bed to take a shower. I didn't care how early it was or the fact that I didn't have work until later that evening. I turned on the faucet and splashed my face. Glancing at my reflecting, I realized that I looked wired, hyper aware. I shook my head and turned on the water to the shower.
"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I said to myself as I scrubbed my hair. It must have been everything that was getting to me. Or I was PMSing. That was it.
When I finished my shower, I felt a heck of a lot better and made myself some breakfast. I remembered that i had to call Rose and went to check my phone. I had four text messages.
One from my mom, two from Rosalie, and one from Edward.
Good luck on your first day! -E
Sweetheart, I think I left my reading glasses at your apartment. Let me know! Love you! -Mom
Uh. I just got my period. -R
And I am so horny. -R
I laughed and briefly looked through my phone's calendar to check when I should be expecting mine.
8 days ago.
That couldn't be right.
"What the fuck?" I gasped. "What the FUCK?"
How had I not realized I hadn't gotten it?
I began pacing in my towel.
I couldn't be...
No. There was no way. It was impossible.
Actually that wasn't true; it was very possible, but I couldn't have a kid. I didn't want a kid.
"Calm down, Bella," I whispered to myself. "You're probably just late because a lot of shit has been going on."
I quickly got dressed in a T-shirt and shorts. Quickly, I rushed down the stairs and I realized that I had yet to buy black pants for work.
"Son of a bitch! I'm losing my mind."
As I drove, I decided I would buy the pants first and then a pregnancy test. That way, if I were to find out I was pregnant...well, I would already have my black pants.
I rushed to the nearest department store and bypassed the salespeople who greeted me and went straight for the clothing racks.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I groaned when I realized they didn't have my size. I checked the time and figured I'd have enough time to run to a different store a couple miles away.
A more expensive store. A store that had price inflation and made me hate everyone.
Fortunately, they had my size, but I had to spend a ridiculous amount of time finding any type of sale. I even had a bargain talk with the sales rep.
"Ma'am, I actually can't give you a discount," the young man said.
"I can find this exact same pair of pants just down the street for fifteen dollars cheaper. Do you want to lose a customer? Shouldn't you beat the price of your competitors? I just want some quality black pants that I can afford. You're only catering to one demographic by making this so expensive, and what rich person is going to need black pants for a job as a server when they clearly don't even need that serving job? They have better jobs that don't require these ugly ass black pants. And that's probably why you have so many left, so are you going to give me a deal or not?"
Before that moment, I had never ever done something remotely close to that for fear of embarrassing Mike or basically any other human being I was with.
Right now, I couldn't care less. I was possibly pregnant and freaking out.
"I'll see what I can do."
I got a $20 off coupon.
However, because that took so long, I had to run home and get dressed for work, hoping I could spare a few minutes to stop at the store and put my mind at ease.
Unfortunately, I only spared myself about four minutes, so I literally was only able to run in, buy the test and run back out.
So, I made it to work, five minutes early with no time to pee on a stick, and no free time until the bar closed. The only downside of this training on my first day (other than the fact that I needed to know if I was a host for a parasite and it was preventing me from doing so) was that it required me to stay until close. No other day would I have to stay that late, but of course, tonight, of all nights, it was a requirement.
It was terrific timing.
The woman training me was named Margaret, and she was the type of person with a no-bullshit attitude, which was perfect because it (almost) kept me from thinking about what I needed to do in the bathroom. I was cooking and serving, cooking and serving, trying to keep myself as busy as possible, but my anxiety was at an all time high. People were looking at me strangely as I served them food. Fortunately, I had no complaints. In fact, I was commended.
"You're doing well, Swan," Margaret told me. When I got orders right on the first try, she raised her eyebrows in approval. I tried to hide my smirk because, yeah, I felt awesome. That was until she added, "You know...Edward was right about you. You are a very driven girl."
"Thanks," I smiled, grabbing another plate and running it out.
It really didn't help that Edward was currently working. I could feel his eyes on me as I ran in and out of the kitchen. When I would glance at him, he'd give me a reassuring smile, to which I would force a grin. He could tell, though, I knew, that something was up. Each time I glanced at him, he looked more and more concerned. I tried to avoid him because I didn't want to tell him.
I didn't want him to judge me. His opinion had become very important to me.
I knew it was only a matter of time before he would approach me. I kept glancing at the time, waiting anxiously for the kitchen to close so that I could just focus on serving the drinks that Edward poured. Last call for food was midnight. Last call for drinks was 1:30. And I knew that once I was done serving food, Edward would ask me what was wrong with me.
I was like an open fucking book.
Once midnight hit, I was still serving food. Some asshole, not uncommon, but still annoying, decided to put in an order at 11:55. His food wasn't ready until 12:20, but it wasn't out until 12:25. So, I had a solid hour of serving drinks left with Edward. And it was really annoying because I saw exactly how he got his tips.
I had noticed this before, but to see him in action while I was working was a different story. He flirted with the pretty girls, and one of them, I overhead talking about how she had planned on getting him into her bed.
"He is so fuckable," I heard her say as I served her her drinks. The most annoying part was that she would deliberately not order from me so that she could get his attention at the bar.
"Edward!" I snapped when I went up there for a drink order. He was sweet-talking some girl who looked a though she was in middle school. He glanced at me and gave her a quick smile before moving over to me.
"Yeah?" He didn't sound annoyed. He didn't sound...anything. He did look very cautious as he approached me.
"Is it normally like this?" I asked. He frowned and looked around.
"It's not that busy..."
"No, I mean, do girls normally completely ignore the waitresses and order from you?"
He narrowed his eyes, but then a slow smirk spread across his face. "Well, yeah, but I think it's fair since you ladies get all the guy customers. And don't worry, a lot more will be coming in when they hear about you."
I forced a smile. "Right."
There was a brief moment in which his eyes roamed my face. "Are you okay, Bella?"
"I'm fine," I nodded. "And thank you again, Edward, for getting me this job."
He shook his head. "That was all you, but we will talk later." He grabbed a bottle of beer. "I have some tips to get."
I hated the fact that my dream caused me to appreciate the way he smoothly walked back over to that girl. I loathed that my dream made me enjoy the way his shirt clung to his muscles. I despised even more that my dream made me feel jealous of the way he was talking to Puberty Julie over there.
I finished out the night, making decent tips, and when Edward made last call, I sighed in relief. I was ready to blow this Popsicle stand and find a bathroom to pee on a Popsicle stick. Edward seemed suspicious of my anxious behavior and when the last person finally left and everyone was out of earshot, he looked around and finally asked me.
"What is with you tonight?"
"What do you mean?" I responded cautiously.
"You're acting like you're expecting someone to mug you," his facial expression became grim. "Mike isn't bothering you, is he?"
I smirked at the irony of the situation. "Not in the way you think."
I walked past him and walked into the back. I jumped when I heard his voice behind me. Of course he had followed me back there.
"Can you please tell me what is going on with you? You're freaking me out, which is difficult to do, considering the circumstances."
I wasn't sure what he meant by that so I grabbed my purse out of a locker and quickly turned to him.
"What are you talking about? What circumstances?" He was frozen and didn't respond. I waited for a moment and finally growled. "What? I've had a long day. What is it? Why are you staring at my like that?"
It was then I realized he wasn't staring at me, but he was staring at my bag. I slowly glanced down to realize that something was sticking out.
My pregnancy test.
I wanted to vomit as I looked into his eyes and saw not betrayal, not disgust, not hurt, not pity.
My eyes watered. I was so ashamed.
I was sick to my stomach because he looked...
Well, he looked like he didn't give a shit.
Okay, a lot happened in this chapter! Yikes, but I'm going to be out of town this weekend, so again, I will post Monday, if I get a super awesome response for this chapter. I really take into consideration what you have to say, as I hope you have noticed.
...So 30 reviews and I'll post Monday?