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The Virus

an anime fanstory by
Chris Jones

Day 0 - Patient Tenchi:

"In hindsight, I should have realized it was all
Mihoshi's fault."

- Professor Washuu (in a speech given to the American CDC
on day 783 of the 'Nerima-virus' pandemic.)

* * *

The research was coming along nicely, Washuu thought.
Her sequencer was finally starting to shed some interesting
light on Tenchi's hidden power. While it was not going to
provide a definitive answer, it did give her some clues.

"Ahh ee aloth one et?" Tenchi asked, his tongue hanging
out of his mouth since it was attached to a small clip. He
*would* have pulled it off, but both his arms and legs were
very firmly attached to Washuu's apparatus as well.

"Just a few more seconds, Tenchi!" Washuu exclaimed,
rubbing her hands together in glee. Her computer 'binged' and
started to flash. "My, oh my!"

"Wha ih ih, Wauu--" Washuu yanked the clip off his
tongue. "What is it, Washuu-chan?" Tenchi asked as the
scientist started to let him loose of the machine.

She led him over to the computer monitor, that was
currently flashing the familiar image of the double-helix
pattern of DNA.

"This is from the blood sample I took earlier," Washuu
said in explanation

Tenchi began to shiver and look around for something
more substantial to wear than just his boxer-shorts.

"Ummm... I'm afraid I'm not sure what it means," he

"Well, let's zoom out a little bit. There," she said,
adjusting the view so that Tenchi was presented with the image
of twenty-three paired chromosomes. Here, this chromosome only
has one leg!"

"That's because I'm a boy," Tenchi said. "Right? I may
not have been the *best* student in biology class, but I do
remember than women have two 'X' chromosomes and men have both
an 'X' and a 'Y'."

Washuu nodded. "This is a trait that's unique to
humanoids from only two planets in the galaxy, Tenchi-kun!"

"Umm, Earth and Jurai?"

"Bingo!" Washuu bapped him cutely on the nose.

"So this was what you attached me to the machine for?"

"Oh, no," Washuu admitted. "This all came from the blood
sample. I just wanted to see you sweat. You're so cute when
you're nervous."

Tenchi groaned and stalked away.

"Don't you want to hear more about my fabulous
discovery?" Washuu called after him. She giggled cutely when
he didn't answer, and got back to work.

After she was alone, Washuu got a little more serious
and started to really work on her discovery. Her race, and
almost every other humanoid race in the galaxy used
recombinant genes to create 'gender'. Every person had genetic
data in their cells to code necessary male and female
proteins. Terrans and Juraiians on the other hand passed down
only half the genetic data for gender from each parent. While
men like Tenchi had one 'X' and one 'Y' chromosome, women did
not have *any* male data hiding in their cells. In face, from
hair samples she had collected, Washuu knew that human womens'
extra 'X' genetic data tended to become inactive.

It brought up some interesting possibilities. She would
have to ask Katsuhito about his family. If Noboyuki and Achika
had been distantly related, then maybe...

Still, it was conjecture she didn't have time to work
with without more concrete data. Instead, she settled for
trying to 'distill' Tenchi's DNA so that she could more
thoroughly test it. Since her trans-replicator was still being
reconstructed thanks to Mihoshi's last 'accident', she settled
for using a slightly more primitive method.

When used correctly, certain viruses could be made to
recreate *any* genetic strain. Using a fast replicating
variant of a Juraiian cold virus she happened to have in
stock, Washuu set about programming it to pump out massive
quantities of Tenchi's 'X' chromosome.

After a small glob of yellowish gelatin had grown in the
petri dish, Washuu closed it in a protective case, which began
to shine a pinkish light on the dish.

"Set the nutrient feed, and... I'm off!"

Washuu then left the case and went off to another part
of her lab to start working on the trans-replicator, which was
a significantly more complex task than sequencing DNA.

Alone, the yellowish glob continued to grow. After
several hours, the yellow goop threatened to overflow its
dish. A robotic arm with a needle tip swung down from the top
of the case and began to siphon off pure DNA, filtering the
viral parts of the mixture into a waste container attached to
the arm.

It was at this point that Mihoshi entered the lab,
skipping cutely over the monofilament trip-wire the scientist
had rigged in place since the blonde policewoman had managed
to destroy her laser-sensor entrance detection system.

Mihoshi had been good that week. She was actually
messing things up faster than Washuu could fix them.

"Washuu? Washuu-san?" Her call was met with silence,
Mihoshi ventured further into the lab. "Washuu-san! Dinner's
ready? Don't you want to eat? A healthy balanced diet is
important for your health!"

In short order, she came across the specimen case, where
the pink light had begun to flash in pre-programmed sequence.

"Oooohhh... Pretty...."

Mihoshi leaned up over the control panel to get a better

"What's that yellow stuff?"

Not quite press her face up against, the glass, Mihoshi
leaned a little further in, brushing the control panel.

An continuous, thundering arc of electricity shot
through the cabinet, scaring Mihoshi back. She squealed, and
started to press buttons randomly to fix whatever she had

The light in the case flashed pink, then yellow and
eventually purple, but the. Alarms started going off. A Ryo-
ohki plushie popped out of the cabinet above the specimen case
and started to 'miya' in a metallic tone.

"Oh no! Washuu-san will be so angry!"

Mihoshi continued to press buttons until the light shown
a steady pink.

"Whew! I think that's it!"

"What did you do, fluff-brain?!" Washuu demanded.

Mihoshi spun around in a panic and backed into the case.
Desperately trying to right herself, she fell back over the
control panel and head first through the swinging doors of the
specimen case. Yellow goo splattered everywhere, and the
robotic arm was thrown clear of the case. It impacted another
piece of apparatus where it began to spark and burn.

Washuu sighed, and tapped a few controls on her
omnipresent computer hologram. A glob of foam dropped out of
the ceiling of the laboratory and settled around the nascent
electrical fire.

"Do you know how many *hours* of work you just ruined,
Mihoshi?" Washuu asked in irritation.

"Waaahhh!" Mihoshi bawled, her hair thick with the
yellow goop.

Washuu sighed and pulled Mihoshi out of the wreckage and
started to escort her out of the lab.

"Go take a bath, Mihoshi," Washuu commanded. "And tell
Sasami that I won't be coming down to dinner. I'm going to
have to *completely* rebuild the specimen chamber."

* * *

That night, after everyone had been regaled by Mihoshi's
tales of terror in Washuu's lab, Tenchi made his way to the
furo to soak after a long day.

He didn't intend to fall asleep in the hot water, but he
was feeling very groggy for some reason. Tenchi woke quite a
bit later when his father knocked on the door. The water had
gotten cold and Tenchi was feeling rather sick.

He took a cold pill and went to bed.

* * *
Day 1 - Initial Outbreak:


"Yes, this is Noboyuki Masaki. I'm afraid my son's not
going to be in class today."

"You do realize, don't you, that this is the eighteenth
time this semester, Masaki-san?"

"Yes, of course. He has a rough time... uhh... training
with his grandfather. I've tried to talk the old man out of
it, but you know how the older generation is."

"Yes," the vice-principal noted. "So what shall I put
down this time? Sprained-ankle? Second-degree burns? Exploding

"Actually, my son's sick in bed. He's got a high fever
and the sniffles."


"Thanks!" Noboyuki hung up the phone and dug in his
pocket for his address book. His secretary wouldn't have left
her apartment for the office yet and he was feeling sniffily
as well. It was probably better to stay home and recuperate a
day than spread it around the office.

"Edube be," Ayeka asked, stull clad in her pajamas. "Bud
do you habe addy fadial tiddue on did planed?"

"Hmm," Noboyuki noted. "It looks like we've all come
down with something."

"Got a cold, huh?" Ryouko asked. "Hmm, you don't look so
good, Princess. You'll never catch Tenchi with bags under your
eyes or a red nose."

"Dud ub, you. I'b nod id the mood ride now." Ayeka
stalked off and back up the stairs.

Noboyuki grimaced, noting that he was beginning to get
chills. "It doesn't look like any of us are going out today,
Ryouko. Do you think you'd mind going into town and picking up
a few things?"

"Sure," Ryouko said, looking forlornly after her
playmate. It just wasn't any fun if the princess didn't fight

* * *

Day 8 - The Jusenkyou Factor:

"Hey, Masaki! Are you sure you're up to this so soon
after being sick?"

"Sure, coach," Tenchi answered. "I'm really looking
forward to the competition. I've been training with my
grandfather since I was little."

"What you do *isn't* Kendo, Masaki," The athletics
director snapped off. "More like, I dunno..."

"I've already talked to the event coordinator," Tenchi
countered. "Furinkan has a number of esoteric martial artists,
so the captain of the Kendo team has agreed to meet me in a
unrestricted match."

"Oh yeah," the older man looked at his clipboard. "I
wondered what that memo was about."

Smiling, Tenchi adjusted his warm-up suit and boarded
the bus.

The trip into Tokyo only took an hour or so. Tenchi
rather enjoyed the peace and quiet. Furinkan High itself,
however, was a pretty rowdy place. The crowd when he arrived
was actively cheering and jeering various athletes from other
schools as they gathered around the school.

With the other students from his school who were
participating, Tenchi went into one of the extra locker rooms
to suit up. He doffed his warm-up suit and replaced it with a
hamaka. Doing his best to avoid the crowds, he went out into
the gymnasium where the first few contests were taking place.

The first match was being fought between two martial-
arts gymnasts. Tenchi had heard of the sport and knew that it
was catching on all across the country, but had never actually
seen it played. He was impressed by the girls' deadly
combination of grace, fearlessness, and wicked skill. Tricks
that Tenchi considered 'dirty' were apparently a large part of
the game. Just so long as the two didn't actually touch each
other, it was pretty much 'anything goes'.

Eventually the girl in the black leotard with the rose
motif drove the other girl from the ring with a well placed
water cooler to the face. Untangling her ribbon from the
cooler, the girl made an imperious gesture to the crowd, which
was evenly divided between cheers and boos.

"The winner, Kodachi Kunou of St. Hebereke High!" the
referee announced over the cacophony.

"Wow," Tenchi breathed out loud.

"She's from another school," the person sitting next to
him said, "But her brother goes here so she's a favorite

Tenchi nodded to the girl in thanks.

"Wanna buy a program?" she asked.


"It's okay," the brown-haired girl said. "You could
place a bet instead."

"That wouldn't really be proper," Tenchi apologized.
"I'm competing later in the unrestricted Kendo tournament."

"Ooh! You'll be fighting Kunou-chan, then. Good luck!"


While Tenchi thought that the girl was rather
attractive, she seemed to be much more interested in selling
him something than actually chatting. Also, he couldn't help
but see three or four faces that would be very upset if they
saw him talking to anything female.

After the ring had been cleared, Tenchi watched as a
young man in Chinese clothes with a braided pigtail hopped up
into the ring. His opponent was a scarily large Judo champion
that Tenchi recognized from his own school.

The fight was an education in martial arts. Coji, the
Judo champion, was large and strong, but the pigtailed youth
was faster than Tenchi thought humanly possible. Coji soaked
up the lighting fast blows, however, and landed a solid hit
that sent the pigtailed youth sprawling.

"Go, Coji!" Tenchi shouted in support.

Unfazed, the pigtailed youth leapt to his feet and began
to trade harder blows with Tenchi's classmate.

"Sure you don't want to place a bet?" the brown-haired
girl asked.

"Well, okay," Tenchi gave in, excited by the
competition. He pulled out a couple five hundred yen coins and
handed them to the girl. "A thousand on Coji," he said.

The girl took the money and started to check her
notebook. "Coji Fujisawa against Ranma Saotome... That will
get you thirty to one odds."



Tenchi's head snapped up at the meaty sounding thud.
Coji had just impacted the mat of the ring, stars in his eyes
and blood running freely from his nose. Ranma's nose was
bloody as well, but he was standing defiantly over the larger
boy, his hands still raised in the punch that floored Coji.

The referee gave a count and declared Ranma the winner.

"Too bad!" Nabiki said in way of condolence. "If you'd
like to place any further wagers, please ask for me. My name's

"Uh, yeah," Tenchi muttered, seeing his thousand yen
walking away in the girl's pocket. He sighed forlornly and got
up to help move Coji from the ring.

After he had wiped his nose, Ranma helped as well.

"Hey, good fight," Ranma said to the groggy Judoist.
"You really surprised me with that hit in the face. I didn't
see it coming."

After he blinked himself back awake, Coji nodded and
shook the other martial artist's hand. "You've got a hell of a
left. It felt like you hight me fifty times!"

"Fifty-three," Ranma clarified.

Tenchi chuckled as he helped his classmate to his feet.

"You're pretty good," he offered after Coji stumbled off
to the showers.

Ranma beamed with pride. "I've been training since I was
an infant. I'm heir to the Saotome school of Anything-goes
Martial Arts. I've trained all over. Even went to China for a

"Tenchi Masaki," he introduced himself. "Kuroho High.
You go to school here?"

Ranma nodded. "You're gonna fight Kunou, right?"

Tenchi nodded and shook the other martial artist's hand.
"Good luck in your fights."

"You too."

After not too much longer, more fights began as
preparations were finished on the other rings. After only a
few minutes, Tenchi was called into the ring to fight a blue
robed kendoist.

Tenchi bowed to his opponent. Instead of bowing back,
however, Kunou began to make a speech.

"Fare thee well in combat, noble warrior. Know that you
shall indeed burn today in the righteous flame that is Blue
Thunder, the shining star of the High-school Kendo world. Only
one as pure and noble as I--"

"Whatever," Tenchi muttered as Kunou continued to rant.

The referee explained the modified rules of the contest.
Rather than formal Kendo rules, judges would count critical
hits for a technical knockout after eight minutes. A real
knockout or ringout would also win the fight.

Tenchi nodded, indicting his acceptance of the rules.
Kunou had never stopped ranting.

"--ance of Heaven is slow but sure! In the name of house
Kunou, have at thee!"

Tenchi leapt into the fray, his own bokken brawn.

Kunou was a real challenge. Tenchi estimated that Kunou
fought just above the same level he did. In the end, Tenchi
managed to salvage the fight by sidestepping one of the other
kendoist's long strikes and rapping him against the back of
the head with the hilt of his bokken. Kunou flipped out of the
ring and landed head first.

After the fight, which Kunou claimed he couldn't
possibly have lost for some odd reason, Tenchi got to talk to
Ranma and Nabiki again for a little bit. All in all, he was
very happy with the outcome of the fight. Nabiki was sharp and
intelligent, if a little mercenary, but she was fun to talk to
as she commented about the other matches. Ranma seemed a
little egotistical, but the man had a cunning mind and
tactical knowledge that Tenchi felt rivaled his grandfather's.
Tenchi genuinely enjoyed talking to the two as they commented
on the fights.

Eventually it was time to come home. Tenchi offered the
distraught Kunou a rematch at the next tournament, and made
his way back to the bus.

* * *

Day 9 - Patient Zero, Nabiki Tendou:

Nabiki felt like hell, but there were dozens if not
hundreds of bets to collect on. She had spent most of the time
after the tournament in bed the night before, not even coming
down to eat dinner, but some things were just too important to
be sick for.

At school, Nabiki went about her usual business and did
her best to concentrate on class. There were a lot of winnings
to take off the students, so she contented herself by tallying
her notebook. It took her mind off her headache and chills,
and made it easier to get through the day.

By lunch, she wasn't feeling so bad at all. There was
more sneezing, but Nabiki's sinuses had mostly cleared, and
she wasn't running a fever any more.

The sneezing increased after lunch, so Nabiki took a
seat at the back of the room, and a box of kleenexes to sneeze
into. She had to leave class a few times.

"Are you feeling ill, Miss Tendou?" Hinako asked in her
afternoon English class.

"I was this morning, but I'm *achoo* doing quite a bit
better. I wonder if I'm al-- *achoo* --llergic to something.

"Maybe you should see the nur--"

"*ACHOO*" Nabiki's sneeze tore through her tissue.

"Are you oka--"


"Breathe, girl!" One of her classmates shouted.

"**ACHOO**" Nabiki fell from her seat with the force of
the sneeze. She was having a hard time breathing, and began to
panic. "**ACHOO** **ACHOO** **ACHOO**"

"That's eight in a row," a smartass in the front row
noted. Nabiki made a mental note to charge him later as she
sneezed twice more.

Sitting in the floor, Nabiki looked around to make sure
she hadn't accidentally knocked anything over.

"Why don't you go to the nurse?" Hinako said in concern.

"I'm okay," Nabiki said after a few seconds. "I think
maybe one mo-- ***ACHOOOOOOOOO***"

She felt her blouse rip in the back. She was trembling,
and her head was spinning.

She looked down to see that her arms were oddly hairy
all the sudden.

"I'm okay?" she said. Her voice echoed in her ears,
surprisingly deep and resonant, almost like..."

"No," Nabiki looked down again and noted a distinct lack
of curve on her chest. One hand going to a non-existent
breast, Nabiki thrust the other up her skirt... *his* skirt,
Nabiki determined after an exploratory grope.

"Ranma's a dead man," Nabiki-otoko pronounced in his
new, deep voice that sounded strangely like his father's. "I
don't know how, I don't know why, I just know that this *has*
to be Ranma's fault."

Hinako's eyes were bulging out. "I didn't know you
changed, too!"

"Jusenkyou?" One of her classmates asked.

"I've never been, thank-you," Nabiki growled, scrambling
to his feet. The fact that he was a boy in dress was secondary
to the fact that his feet were being crushed in Nabiki's
leather shoes. He pulled them off, and strode to the door of
the classroom.

"I'm going go to kill Ranma now," Nabiki muttered,
flexing a newly bulky bicep.

At the head of the classroom, Kunou began to sniffle,
not really understanding what just happened. He sneezed once
and wiped his nose.

"What?!?!" he asked when the entire classroom began to
stare at him in horror.

* * *

Nabiki may have been fit, strong and male, but he was
not a martial artist. Ranma felt really bad about cold-cocking
the guy in a dress who just attacked him out of the blue in
the middle of history.

Scared, not sure what was going on, Ranma and Akane cut
out of class to take Nabiki to Dr. Tofuu's clinic. Akane
started to sniffle on the way there. They started to run.

* * *

Back at Kuroho High, Tenchi began to feel sniffley

*Hmm,* he thought, sneezing in class. *I wonder if I did
overexert too soon after being sick.*

* * *

"I've never seen anything like it," Tofuu admitted as
the warm water dripped off of Nabiki's unchanged body. The
very scared, very wet young man in front of him had the same
fingerprints, dental work, and distinguishing scars as Nabiki
Tendou. There was no event that could result in a Jusenkyou-
like change, however.

"In Ranma's case, there is Jusenkyou, but here..."

"Give it to me straight," Nabiki demanded, wincing at
the line. "Am I gonna be like this forever?"

"It's too soon to tell," Tofuu admitted as he handed the
boy a towel. He readied a syringe for drawing a blood sample.
"It's possible that..."

"What, Doctor?" Akane pleaded.

Tofuu grimaced, injecting the needle into Nabiki's
elbow. He drew several CC's of blood and capped off the
syringe. "Well, Nabiki just got over a cold, and you do both
live in close proximity to Ranma. It's possible that somehow
the changing factor in Ranma's body was transmitted via a

Nabiki shook her head. "If that was the case, this would
have happened before."

Ranma nodded in agreement. "I don't get sick often, but
I have before."

"And Uncle Saotome gets colds from time to time, but we
don't all turn into pandas," Akane seconded.

*Or pigs,* Ranma thought to himself.

Tofuu nodded in agreement, but had a concerned
expression on his face. "I can't help but feel the cold had
something to do with it. I want you to treat this like a cold
at any rate. Lots of bed rest, lots of liquids. You know the

Nabiki nodded.

"I'll research this sample and see if there's anything I
can do. In the mean time, you should remember that this is
probably a temporary effect."

"Okay," Nabiki said noncommittally. "God, I hope I'm not
stuck like this," she said.

After they left, Tofuu considered the blood sample
carefully. Sighing, he divided it into to test tubes and put
one in his refrigerator. The other he marked 'Biohazard -
TCDC'. He picked up the phone.

"Tokyo Center for Disease Control," a pleasant voiced
receptionist answered.

"Doctor Najima, please," Tofuu asked. "This may be an

After a few seconds, there was another voice on the
line. "Ken Najima, what can I do for you?"

"Ken, its Tofuu. I've got a problem."

"The all-knowing Tofuu Ono is calling *me*?" the other
doctor asked with a chuckle. "I'm flattered."

"There's no time for kidding, Ken. You remember my sex-
changing patient?"

"Yes," Ken replied with a little bit of hesitancy,
sensing the urgency in Tofuu's voice. "The boy with the
'cursed', right? What's the deal?"

"An unrelated girl who lives in the same house
spontaneously changed sex today. It's a long shot, but it's
possible that the changing factor was transmitted via air-
borne microorganism, probably a virus."

"You're kidding, right?" Ken asked, a quiet tone of
dread creeping into his own voice.

"I wish I was. It gets worse. Her sister's coming down
with the same cold she had before changing, and the both of
them, including the original patient were at school all day

"Good god, Tofuu. Do you have any idea what you're

"I have a blood sample." Tofuu offered. "There's an
elderly woman in my community who may know more about the
'curse', but..."

"I'll be right over," Ken said. Tofuu heard a rustle in
the background.

"I've probably already been exposed," Tofuu warned.

"It's too late to worry if she's been to school. By now,
the entire city's got it."

* * *

Later, when Ranma and Akane had escorted Nabiki back to
the house, they found Kasumi and Soun in bed with low-grade
fevers. Genma was sick as well, but not feeling quite so bad.
Ranma and Akane didn't tell Soun or Kasumi so as not to alarm
them, but Genma saw them come in the door.

"Man, looks like Nabiki's cold is spreading!" Ranma

"What if what Doctor Tofuu said was right?" Nabiki-kun
asked. "If everyone who gets my cold gets sick, then--"

"***ACHOO***" Genma sneezed, knocking himself--

"Uh-oh," Ranma said.

--knocking herself down.

"I preferred being a panda, I think," Genma-onna

"Well, Pops, you're a lot less ugly a woman as you are a

"It's time for a training trip, boy," Genma said, making
sure all her parts were safely concealed in her gi.


"Your mother sees this and she *will* gut me."



"That would be daddy and Kasumi," Nabiki noted.

"AGHGHGHHHH!" A high pitched, overly emotional voice
cried out. "My manhood!"

"Oh my!" A deep baritone answered.

"This just hit critical," Ranma said, rubbing his chin.

Akane wiped her nose, which had begun to run.

Ranma, Nabiki and Genma looked at her critically.

"What? Oh... Oh, NO!"

Nabiki, still wearing a gi he had borrowed from Tofuu
patted his sister on the shoulder. "You better change into
something that won't tear when you change."

"NO!" Akane screamed, running upstairs, past a confused
young man in a nightgown.

"Whatever has happened to me," Kasumi-kun asked. "I seem
to have... changed. Nabiki? Uncle Saotome?"

"I'll call Doctor Tofuu," Genma volunteered.

"I'll go talk to Akane," Nabiki said. "It's probably too
late, but..."

"It's a long story, Kasumi," Ranma explained. "We should
probably tell your... uhh... Dad. Hey, Mister Tendou. Welcome
to the club."


* * *

Later that night, Hiroshi Honda and his parents boarded
a plane to San Francisco to visit his aunt. He'd miss his
friends at Furinkan, but it would be nice to get out of the
madhouse for a day or so.

He just wished he wasn't feeling so crummy. Oh well,
he'd save the manga Daisuke lent him for later and sleep for a
bit and see if he didn't feel better by the time they landed
for the stopover in Hawaii.

* * *

Day 10 - Patient Oa, Tenchi Masaki:

The sneezing was pretty bad, Tenchi thought, but the
sex-changing was completely unexpected. Luckily, he was in the
bathroom at the time, trying not to interrupt math with his
loud sneezing. One large sneeze later and...

"Tenchi-chan," she mumbled. "Washuu must be playing

Adjusting her pants to stay up around her now too-
slender hips and her shirt not to bind too badly, Tenchi
ignored her new anatomy and snuck out of the building.

She called a cab and went home, building up angrily the
entire time. She knew exactly what she was going to say to
Washuu, and demand that the scientist change him back.

When she got home, she found Ryouko laughing
hysterically on the front porch.

"What's the big..."

Ryouko leapt up to peer into Tenchi's face. "Tenchi?"

Tenchi nodded, thankful that her short cropped hair and
ponytail stayed with her.

Ryouko began to guffaw and chortle.

"This is Washuu's fault, isn't it?"

"I have no idea," Ryouko admitted, but--"

"Tenchi-dono!" A purple-haired young man in Juraiian
robes rushed out of the house and skidded to a stop just in
front of Tenchi.

"She got you too, huh?" Onna-Tenchi asked. "Ayeka?"

The young man nodded. Looking past her into the house,
Tenchi could see a frightened blue-haired little boy with
strawberry colored eyes peeking around the corner at her.

"Sasami-chan," he breathed, real anger entering his
voice for the first time.

Tenchi stormed into the house past the girls and into
the main room.

"Washuu!!!" He yelled.

"Right here, Tenchi-ku... er..." Washuu was sitting on
the sectional sofa next to two distressed woman. After a few
seconds, Tenchi realized that one was his father, but the
other seemed quite a bit too young to be her grandfather. The
relation was obvious, however. She was also wearing her
grandfather's thick spectacles.


The young-looking woman with long dark hair nodded and
shrugged. She went back to watching the television.

"How do you explain this?" she demanded, turning back to

Washuu pointed to the television.

Tenchi watched, horror growing on her face.

"As the entire Nerima ward has been cordoned off," the
reporter began. "Reports are already starting to trickle in
regarding cases of the sudden 'Nerima Epidemic' in the rest of
the city. So far, no cases have been reported off the island
of Honshu, but the prime minister has ordered an immediate
emergency halt to all rail, air, and sea travel in Japan."

"Oh my god," Tenchi muttered, staring in shock at the

"We go now live to Megumi Hisara. She's... err... with
Doctor Tofuu Ono and Doctor Ken Najima of the Tokyo Center for
Disease Control. Megumi?"

'Megumi' was a man in makeup and a too-tight dress. He
was standing with a microphone next to two women. One had
glasses and longish brown ponytail. The other had short-
cropped hair. The caption at the bottom of the screen listed
their names and a '- formerly male' in parentheses.

"Doctors," Megumi asked. "What can you tell us about the

Doctor Tofuu spoke into the microphone. "It very closely
resembles the effects of a 'Jusenkyou Curse', which is
apparently a virus that is transmitted through fresh water
that causes the victim to change anatomy drastically with the
application of hot and cold water. Unlike Jusenkyou, however,
the sex-change that comes with the Nerima virus is not
affected by water and is apparently transmitted in an airborne

"So..." Megumi prompted.

"If you've been in Nerima in the last forty-eight
hours," Tofuu said, "You've almost certainly got it."

"It spreads so quickly," Ken agreed.

"Is the change permanent?" Megumi asked the two doctors.

"We just don't know yet. It's too soon to say," Ken

"What are the signs that one is infected with the

"Once you've been exposed," Tofuu said, "You won't show
symptoms for six to twelve hours. Afterwards, there's another
six to twelve hours of flu-like symptoms. Head-ache, fever,
congestion and sneezing. It's usually during the sneezing
phase that the change occurs. Afterwards, there is little sign
of the cold-symptoms. We've not been able to confirm it yet,
but a carrier is contagious from as little as an hour after he
is exposed. This is one of the fastest viruses we've ever

"Do you know where the virus originated?"

"We're treating Patient Zero right now," Ken said. "For
her... er... his and his family's safety, we're not releasing
any names. We're also investigating any possible connections
to the aforementioned Jusenkyou virus. Other than that,
there's not a lot we can tell you. We're victims too, so..."

Megumi sighed, a disappointed look on his face. "Can you
tell our viewers what to do to keep from being infected.

Tofuu shrugged.

"Stay indoors," Tofuu shrugged. "And wash your hands
frequently. There's a large chance that you or someone in your
family has already got it, even if you don't know about it.
It's not painful, other than psychologically, and we have yet
to observe any life-threatening symptoms."

"This is bad," Ken said. "But it's not the end of the

"I'm sorry to break in," the anchor's voice cut in, "But
we've just received reports of a possible Nerima Virus
breakout in Hawaii. American officials have already isolated
the island."

"It's spreading so fast," Youshou-onna said, clicking
off the TV in disgust. "I've been in contact with my parents.
Earth is under quarantine until the virus's progress can be

"It only affects humans," Washuu said, gesturing to
herself, Mihoshi and Ryouko, who retained their normal forms.
"Only Terrans and Juraiians are at risk."

"Do you know what it is?" Tenchi asked in a quiet, calm

"Sasami was the first to change," Washuu explained.
"Apparently it affects children faster. I took a blood sample
and began to test it. There are massive amounts of strange
proteins and a certain virus in her system. There's also an
inert genetic signature along with the strangest DNA I've
*ever* seen inside the virus.

"Genetic signature?" Tenchi asked in confusion.

"Yours," Washuu exhaled heavily. "And the virus is a
variant on a Juraiian adenovirus strain. It's a strain of the
same virus, in fact, that I use for certain genetic

Everybody in the room stared at Mihoshi. The policewoman
began to cry. "I didn't mean to infect the world! I'm so
sorry!!!! WAHHHAHHHHHHH!!!!"

"I've checked the logs in my lab," Washuu continued. "At
one point Mihoshi exposed a controlled viral sample to eight
different kinds of radiation, nutrients, and high voltage. The
viral sample was *supposed* to produce a volume of DNA found
in Tenchi's X chromosome. After the exposure, I'm not sure
*what* it was doing.

"We were all so sick the next day," Ayeka said.

Washuu nodded. "No doubt infected by the Juraiian
Adenovirus mutant Mihoshi took out of the lab with her. I
chose a non-deadly strain just in case something like this
happened, though. There's no cure for it, but the virus is
common on Jurai like the common cold is here. It's just not
life-threatening in most circumstances."

"How does a cold bug change someone's sex?!?!" Tenchi
demanded in anger.

"That was what I wanted to know," Washuu continued. "I
need to get in touch with that Doctor Tofuu to find out more,
but he's already given me a clue. That 'Jusenkyou' thing. I
did some research into it. Jusenkyou is apparently a set of
natural springs in China--"

Tenchi's mind snapped alert. Something about what Washuu

"--each with it's own tragic curse. There's apparently a
virus in the water that infects a biological host and forces
it to change shape and mass whenever it's affected by a
trigger, cold and hot water in this case. There are some odd
telepathic and telekinetic effects that are really
interesting. The physics involved are really quite--"

"The day before yesterday, I met a martial artist who
went to China," Tenchi interrupted.

"If he is indeed a Jusenkyou carrier," Washuu said
without missing a beat, "what probably happened was that you
infected him with a weak, mutant Juraiian Adenovirus. In order
to adapt, the mutant virus dropped your genetic material and
assumed similar pieces of his, in this case, the material that
allows him to change shape. You were infected by the new
virus, as well as the 'Patient Zero' they're protecting in
Nerima. He's probably immune to the new virus, since it comes
from his genetic material already."

Tenchi exhaled heavily. "Can you cure it?"

Washuu said, "..."

"You haven't even started trying yet?" Tenchi asked

Washuu grimaced. "Like the reporter said, it's one of
the most infectious diseases ever to attack this planet.
Mihoshi's just talented that way, I guess. Less than one
percent of Sasami's cells are unaffected by the genetic
material introduced by the virus. I'd have to genetically
resequence everyone on the planet to make them immune. I could
release another virus, but the chance for mutation in the wild
is just too high."

"So we're stuck..." Tenchi's slender shoulders slumped.

"Aha! Not so fast there!" Washuu countered with a smile.
"I, naturally, since I'm the most brilliant scientist in the
universe, have projected out the virus's effects. After a few
hundred hours of exposure, the human body starts defending
itself against the new proteins. Of course, it can't rid
itself of them entirely, but most humans will be able to
change back and forth with cold and hot water like our friend
from Jusenkyou. Some may even be able to do it at will."

"You should probably contact that Doctor Tofuu guy,
then," Tenchi noted. "There will be a lot of relieved people
out there."

Washuu nodded and went into her lab.

Tenchi-chan sighed and grimaced. "Well, theres no--"

Ayeka-kun ran past him and into the hallway. Tenchi
heard the bathroom door open, and Ayeka's growl of anger.

"Come here, Ryouko!" Ayeka shouted.

"Whatever for, my darling *Prince*," Ryouko teased.

"I need you to open the bathroom door."

Ryouko chuckled and dragged Tenchi off after her. Tenchi
opened the door, a little surprised that it did indeed open
onto the women's bath.

Ayeka stripped his clothes off as he ran, and dived into
the hot water. Tenchi didn't know wether to avert her eyes or

"What are you doing, *Prince*," Ryouko taunted. "Going
to stay in hot water till you change back?"

"Yes," Ayeka answered. "I most certainly will."

* * *

Back in Nerima, the shit, as they say, was hitting the

"Boy Shampoo no able to catch Airen!" A certain amazon
wailed in a deep voice. The effect was not... masculine.

Cologne sighed at some length. "Chaos infected this town
before. I suppose I'm not surprised."

"I still love you, Shampoo" a nearsighted girl with long
black hair declared.

"Shampoo not interested in Mousse as boy and Shampoo
*certainly* not interested in girls. Mousse chance is worse
now than ever before!"

"At least their curses have apparently been cured,"
Tofuu noted over the top of her bowl of ramen.

"Yes," Cologne noted in a deep, gravelly voice. There
wasn't a lot of difference between a withered old woman and a
withered old man. "Mousse and Shampoo are cured, but my son in
law is not, it seems. It was almost as if the virus originated
with him."

"I don't think there's much question about that," Tofuu
admitted. "So is there anything you've found out?"

"The victims all have affected auras," Cologne
volunteered, drawing out his pipe. "Rather like Jusenkyou.
There's an alien component as well. Something not of this
earth. I'm afraid that Amazon medical lore can't touch this
one. If it could..."

"You wouldn't be male right now." Tofuu sighed.

* * *

Day 14 - US Patient 0, Hiroshi Honda:

"This is probably my fault, you know," Hiroshi whispered
to her mother as they sat in her aunt's... err... uncle's
apartment in San Francisco.

"It's possible that you were carrying the virus, son,
but there were others from Nerima on the plane."

The two turned to the television and watched. Hiroshi
knew more English than her newly male mother, so he

"I'm Bernard Shaw," the middle-aged black woman
announced. "And this is CNN. It's been three days since the
first case of the Nerima Virus was reported in San Francisco--

Hiroshi's father began to cry dramatically as only a man
turned into a woman can.

"-- and there are now cases of the virus in virtually
every city in North America. All travel into and out of the
United States, Canada, and Mexico has been halted by local
governments and the U.N.. CNN has reports of massive number of
North Americans fleeing the country to South America and
Europe. The first unofficial reports of the virus are turning
up in England and France.

"The governments of China and Russia have threatened
military action in order to stop the virus's spread, but
rumors have already reached CNN about widespread infection in
Southeast Asia and Eastern Europe. The American Center for
Disease Control has stated that there will probably be no
halting the virus.

"Reaction to the virus's sex-changing effects are mixed
in the United States and Canada, particularly with homosexual,
lesbian, and transsexual communities. Some view it as a
blessing, rather than a curse.

"In related news, Representive Karen White from
California has introduced a bill to the U.S. House that would
make doctors liable for all costs associated with breast
implant removal surgery."

Hiroshi sighed and clicked off the TV. "This is all
Ranma's fault. I know it is."

* * *

Day 20 - Futaba Shimeru:

*Man, Misaki looks good today," Futaba thought to
himself. She was wearing hose instead of socks, since the new
school rules permitted it. School rules were permitting just
about anything in the way of dress code these days.

At any rate, Futaba just couldn't keep his eyes off the
gentle curve of his girlfriend's calves under the silky sheer
fabric. Misaki had been lucky. She was one of the few
individuals seemingly able to completely control their gender
at will, making her effectively 'immune' from the Nerima
Virus. Futaba was too, but he and his family hadn't felt the
need to tell anybody. Both he and Misaki suspected it was
caused by the gender changing element she had been exposed to
a while back.

Futaba, unlike most of his classmates, was enjoying the
virus's effects immensely. For the first time in over a year,
he didn't have to worry so much about... control...

Getting bothered from fantasizing about Misaki's legs,
Futaba changed into a girl in the middle of class. Nobody
really noticed.

* * *

Day 23 - The Sailor Senshi:

"I'm the beautiful warrior for love and justice and in
the name of the moon....Hey, quit laughing!"

"I'd laugh too," Rei muttered, crisping the offensive
youma with a Burning Mandala. At least the Senshi of Fire had
put on pants after transforming. "There's not a lot that's
funnier than boys' legs in a miniskirt, Usagi."

"Rei-kun! You're mean!"

"Don't call me that, Meatball-head!"

* * *

Day 30 - Ryouga Hibiki:

"This is all your fault, Ranma!"

"Probably," Ranma said as he reclined on the verandah.
"Lookin' pretty cute, P-chan!"

"Shut up!" Ryouga muttered as she skidded to a stop in
front of the porch. Her hand went to her chest to keep it from
jiggling under her yellow tunic.

"I figured you'd be happy to be cured," Ranma said. "You
are cured, aren't you?"

Ryouga nodded in defeat. "Just traded one curse for
another, if you ask me..."

"Ryouga-kun?" a voice called out from inside the house.


Indeed, the youngest Tendou came out in a loose tank-top
and shorts. Ryouga almost cried in relief. "Akane! You didn't

"Uh... Hi, Ryouga-kun," Akane said, looking away

Another young man, one Ryouga didn't recognize, stepped
out on the front porch. "Hey, Akane. Did lost boy show up--

"Nabiki!" The tall, muscular, even intimidating Akane-
kun yelled at his 'brother'.

Ryouga-chan began to weep.

"We all change with hot and cold water now, Ryouga-kun,"
Akane explained in embarrassment. He tugged uncomfortably at
the tanktop that looked like it was painted over his bulging
muscles. "Have you tried a hot shower yet?"

"WAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" Ryouga cried.

* * *

Day 40 - Ataru Moroboshi:

Lum loved Darling. She kept telling herself that. It was
important thing to remember, now that she would likely never
be allowed to leave the planet by intergalactic law. Luckily,
She, Ten and all the other non-terrans seemed to be immune to
the virus.

Darling was *not* immune however. It was a shock for
her, but after a few Days, Lum realized that she loved Ataru
enough that it didn't matter if he was a she.

She was even more relived when the first reports of
viral immunities and people who could change back and forth
started creeping up.

"Darling, come down to dinner, cha?" She pleaded at the
locked door.

"Just another few minutes, Lum-chan!" a breathless
feminine voice called out from inside. "I'm almost done...
ah... studying! Yeah, that's the ticket!"

Lum wanted to cry! Darling hadn't been out of her room
in days!

"Darliiiing! Let Lum-chan play tooooo!" she said,
scratching at the door.

* * *

Day 66 - Hot and Cold Running Tenchi:

"Come here, Tenchi-chan!" Ryouko purred as she floated
lazily over the living room. "I've got some lovely cold water
for you!"

"I thought you didn't like women," Ayeka sniped. "*I*
certainly like Tenchi as a man," she said, glancing down once
at Tenchi, who was desperately hiding in the hollow under the
coffee table.

"But Tenchi's just so *cute* when he's a she!" Ryouko
protested. "Don't you think so, at least when you change?"

Ayeka blushed and looked straight ahead at the
television. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Surrree ya don't, Princess!"

* * *

Day 89 - Nodoka Saotome:

"Please, Nodoka-chan! Not so rough!"

"Heh... You know you like it, Genma."

"Unnhhh... Oh, god! Oh... it's so tight..."

"Now, who's manly? BWAHAHAHAHAHAH"

"At least I have hair again like this," Genma sighed
under her breath.

* * *

Day 104 - Miki Koujiro:

It had been a slow day in the infirmary that day. It was
okay, because Miki was silently weeping as she watched news on
her portable satellite television. There were now confirmed
cases of the infection on every continent, including

Her dream had been realized at last.

* * *

Day 130 - Keiichi Morisato:

"Still haven't been able to change, Bro?" Megumi asked,
clad in a loose, revealing jumper that had become quite the
fasion in the last few months or so.

Keiichi, still wearing a plain dress borrowed from
Belldandy shook her head as she worked over her engine
blueprint. "It's okay, though. I'm certain that I will

A slender pair of arms wrapped around Keiichi-chan's
torso and closed around the girl's bosom. Keiichi had to keep
from gasping as the lithe fingers touched off little sparks as
they dragged across her nipples through the fabric of the

"And I don't mind," Belldandy said as she pulled Keiichi
away from her blueprint and closer to her. "Keiichi-san is
still Keiichi-san, regardless of her gender. The spirit inside
is the same."

Trembling, Keiichi turned her face up to stare into
Belldandy's loving, desiring gaze. Belldandy shifted position
so that her own long slender legs surrounded Keiichi. Being
much smaller, Keiichi was, in effect, sitting in Belldandy's


"Oh, Keiichi-san..."

"Well," Megumi noted, a naughty expression on her face.
"I'll just leave now before things get too spicy. Ne?"

Keiichi didn't notice her sister leave since Belldandy's
lips were ever so slowly descending to meet hers. As they
touched, one of Belldandy's hands slid up to gently caress
Keiichi's cheek.

"I'm almost anxious for Urd's potion to wear off so I
can change back," Keiichi whispered when their lips came
apart. "Then I can show you my love as a man."

"It'll just take a few more months," Belldandy said,
giggling quietly. "Don't rush it. Your love is just as sweet
now as it will be then."

"Oh, Bell-chan..."


"Take me again, Bell-chan! Make me yours!"

"Oh, Keiichi-san!"



* * *

Day 153 - The Death of Happosai:

"Dearly Beloved," Soun said.

Ranma snickered until Akane batted him.

"We're gathered here today to mourn the passing of one
of the world's greatest martial artists," Soun continued,
gently holding the hatbox over the freshly dug pit in the back

"Hai," Kasumi-kun agreed. He was wearing a black,
sleeveless jumper. "Whatever else is to be said about
Grandfather Happosai must include his complete and total
mastery of the Art."

Tofuu-chan sniffled once and buried her face against
Kasumi-kun's strong chest.

"Well, he was perverted an' stuff," Ranma said, "But he
did teach me a lot about the Art."

"Personally, I'm glad he's gone too, son," Genma

"Old fart just couldn't trust the panties any more,"
Ranma said. "Not since the virus. A lot of guys are wearing
them now and a lot of girls don't bother any more. It's better
this way, really."

"That being said," Soun agreed, "back her up!" He
dropped the hatbox into the pit and stood aside as workmen
lowered a long pipe over the hole. Cement from the truck
parked in the alley behind the dojo began to flow. After a few
minutes, Ranma, Genma and Soun began to trowel the 'headstone'
until it was smooth.

Tofuu-chan went into the house and came back with the
specially prepared mold, which Soun pressed carefully down
into the wet concrete. He let it set for almost five minutes
before pulling it back up.

'DEMON BEGONE' was now etched into the drying concrete
in beveled kanji.

"Are you coming in father?" Kasumi asked after the
cement truck left. She had changed back and had her apron on.
"Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes."

"Ah, no, daughter. I'll be out here a while."


"Yes. It takes seventy-two hours for the cement to cure,
you know."

* * *

Day 200 - The prevention of the end of the world:

Yui sighed in defeat. "Gendou, we need to talk."


"I heard about Akagi-san, Gendou."

The young, lanky woman froze, not quite knowing how to
answer her girlfriend's accusation. It was true after all.

"Yui-chan! You must belive me! I didn't--"

"God, Gendou, you'll sleep with anything on two legs
now! First Kozo and now this? I'm leaving."

"Yui, please!"

"And I'm recommending that the Katsuragi team scrap your
plans for the Antarctica dig, too."

"Don't leave me, Yui!" Gendou-chan pleaded. "Where will
you go?"

"I'm a talented geneticist, Gendou. I can go anywhere I
damn well please. Just so long as its far away from *you*."

* * *

Day 365 - Virus Day:

"Blue Thunder will slay the first person who says
anything about my legs," Kunou sniped as she stalked past
Ranma and Akane into the Furinkan front gate.

"Oohh, Black-Nutcase hid your clothes again," Ranma
said, noting that Kunou was wearing the 'feminine' version of
the loose tunic and shorts that had replaced the old Furinkan
uniforms. Kunou and the rest of her family were some of those
unfortunates that changed neither with will nor water, but
randomly. Some days he was a he and some days she was a she
and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. "Cute
legs, Blue-blunder."

"Shut up, Saotome."

"Quit picking on her, Ranma," Akane chided.

Kunou preferred the 'masculine' version of the uniform,
even when female, but Kodachi had other ideas.

"Hey, Sempai," Ranma said, sniggering. "The pigtailed
girl sent you a letter."

"Shut the hell up, Saotome."

"She wants to know if you wax your legs or shave."

Kunou turned to attack, but caught a glimpse of the
mocking expression on Ranma's face as the pigtailed boy
dropped into a fighting stance.

"Go to hell, Ranma," Kunou sniped, turning back to the
school. "I'm not interested in guys."

Ranma laughed and laughed and laughed...

* * *

Day 783 - Washuu's Speech:

"So, in conclusion, I'd like to point out that the
levels of the virus in the atmosphere have been steadily
dropping since we reached global saturation last May. My
estimates show that while the Change is now hard-coded into
almost every human's genetic structure, the virus itself is
dying out. In approximately 30 years, we'll be free of the
virus, and the galactic civilizations Earth has contacted,
such as Oniboshi and Jurai will reopen lines of

"It's been a very hectic couple of years, but I think
we've all held up just well enough to keep this dramatic
change from throwing the world into chaos. Every nation on
planet Earth has been forced to update its human rights and
equality laws. In many cases, those laws have become

"Human science knows an order of magnitude more now
about its own genetic code. Gene science is now the single
fastest growing field of employment in any nation now.

"At this point, I would like to urge all of humanity not
to let these achievements be a peak or even a plateau. I urge
all the scientists of the earth to continue onward and upward.
I urge lawmakers and governments to continue to improve the
plight of subjugated people worldwide now that we can no
longer discriminate on basis of gender. I urge the fashion
industry to continue to make these cute little jumpers that I
like so much. They make me look so slim and cute!"

"Ahem," a voice called from offstage.

"Yes, yes... Lastly, I'd like to thank the CDC for
hosting this presentation. Good night, everybody!"

* * *


After writing this story, I realized that it has strong echoes
of both 'Happi Days' and a little story Nicholas Leifker wrote
a while back called 'Contagion'. I wrote this as an original
peice, however. No insult or injury to these two is intended.
It's fanfiction anyway, so...

The last 'worldwide epidemic' story I wrote ended up having
Tarou-monster fathering a child on Ranma. I will never ever
ever ever ever never ever never ever ever ever ever never ever
never ever ever ever ever never ever never ever ever ever ever
never evernever ever ever ever ever never ever never ever ever
ever ever never ever never ever ever ever ever never ever
never ever ever ever ever never ever repost this story, so ask
for 'Virus' instead.

At this point, I would like to open this story. I want to
challenge everyone who reads this story to write a vignette
that occurs somewhere within our after the 768 day time frame
of the story. If you do, I'll post it on a 'Virus' page at

Thanks for reading. As always, all my other fanfiction can be
found at