XXIII (LAST CHAPTER)
Have you ever had an empty whole deep inside your soul? A whole fed by your guilt, your fears, your regrets? I felt miserable, destroyed and alone. Tears, screams, nothing seemed to stop that pain so deep and so greater than me. I wanted to go back, to do everything different. I wished I hadn't felt in love with her, such a pure and strong feeling. Her voice echoed in my mind, her smiles, her smell, everything so vivid in my mind that I could almost feel her touch on my skin.
"Sweet Sansa…" we still could have a chance. If gods were real, we could try to survive without each other. We could try for ourselves. I was locked inside a box in the basement of a ship, without any light. There I knelt down and I prayed. "I never believed in you gods as you were able to give and take back my life. I never served you, I never cared about you, but I beg, please let her live. She has nothing else in the world; she has been suffering a lot for a girl in her age. I do not ask for me, I know I do not deserve much, but for her, who is a child and needs your protection. Please, let her live and if, for a moment in my life I had ever deserved anything, allow me to see her again, even if married with another man, even if living her life, but I want to see her once more, living, fine, as she had just awaken from a nightmare . Please…"
If gods heard me or if they would ever be in the mood to listen to my pray, I didn't know. But I still had the hope. And that was my biggest motivation to keep living: to have the chance to meet her again.
Once, I was a Stark. I was loyal as a dog should be. I was polite as a lady should be. I had all the grace a queen should have, because it was what they taught me. And then, my dreams were ripped, reality hit my face and fear filled up my spirit.
Once, I was a Lannister. He taught me how to be proud of myself and to have the elegance a lioness should have. He taught me how to love and how to overcome my fears, to fight, to keep my pride. And he had to leave me. And I became a Stark again. And he asked me to keep breathing and I promised with my Stark heart.
For now, I will hold my lioness back into her cage. For now, I will keep my promise: I will survive for us.
"We are going to dye it, you are going to be unrecognizable" Petyr said. In some minutes, my red hair disappeared under a vivid black color. Now I was not a Stark. Now I was not a Lannister. I was only a girl with a thin thread of hope and with a heart filled up with love. "Soon, my dear. Soon…"
He was my only reason to keep living and deep inside I knew gods wouldn't fail to me. I knew that soon he would be mine again. Soon.