The house was shrouded in silence when Yata dropped his shoes in the entrance hall, just as he expected. His body ached from running around too much, and he felt tired enough to want to sleep on the couch; the silence was warm and welcoming.
Strangely enough, he knew the house wasn't empty, and he didn't have to check every single room to know that.
There was something about Saruhiko's presence that changed the mood in the house; it was like the air smelled different, maybe even the temperature would raise a little when Saruhiko was somewhere between those walls. Yata didn't need more than a second to know when his old best friend was home, and he could almost imagine Saruhiko wrapping his fingers around his spare key, in a silent, almost invisible, demonstration of happiness, before opening the door and making himself at home.
The door creaked when Yata entered the bedroom, and he felt like punching the damn loud thing. Not surprisingly, there was a tall, slender form on his bed, almost completely hidden by white blankets.
It was Saruhiko's favorite place on Earth. After the small space between Yata's arms, of course.
Yata blushed faintly when he kneeled down to look at the other boy. Without his glasses, it was possible to see how surprisingly long his eyelashes were; just one more pretty detail on his face. There were a few strands of hair resting against his pale skin. He looked so calm it made Yata want to tease him, to wake him up and run away. He was stunning, and Yata hated it. He didn't need to be so damn pretty. But then again, he had one hell of a complicated personality, so maybe his looks were making up for it.
But it didn't really matter, did it? Yata liked him anyway. Despite all the annoying details, Yata liked him. Damn, he'd still like him if he hadn't a nice, stupid face.
His heart went a little crazy as he lowered his face in an awkward manner to lay a kiss on Saruhiko's head. Before he could cover the small distance between them, however, a muffled sound came from underneath him, and Saruhiko stared at him for a couple of seconds before silently taking the initiative and kissing him on the lips.
"You're late", he complained after briefly cheking the hour on his PDA and completely ignoring the heat coming from Yata's red face. "I got tired of waiting."
"I-I- was- uh- doing things."
Saruhiko looked like he was about to come up with one of his snarky remarks about Homra, but his face turned a bit more serious as he checked Yata's face, coming closer to him again.
"W-What?" Yata growled. One of these days, he'd be the one to initiate a kiss.
"Your eyes are swollen again." Saruhiko clicked his tongue. "Have you been crying?"
Something clicked inside Yata's mind, and the feeling of warmness that enveloped him as soon as he entered the house slipped away from him. His hands trembled a bit and he swallowed.
Yata bit his lower lip. It has been like this since a bunch of months ago, since Mikoto's death; he'd feel restless and uneasy in any kind of situation, even when he was running errands for what was left of Homra. He'd also cry a lot, and he didn't know why. Eventually, he was able to find a bit of his old self in Saruhiko – it started with a lot of talking and yelling, until it wasn't enough anymore and he was drowning himself into kisses and that scent, Saruhiko's bitter scent that he hated and loved so much. He almost didn't cry anymore.
"I'm fine! It might be just lack of sleep." He tried to get up and run away to his own domestic sanctuary – the kitchen -, but Saruhiko grabbed his wrist softly.
"You can talk to me."
But he couldn't; he didn't want to sound so helpless and fragile, not in front of Saruhiko of all people.
"You… I said I'm fine."
Saruhiko rolled his eyes.
"You're not." Slowly, he brought Yata's face closer to his again. His voice sounded tired, even though he had just awakened from a nap, and Yata wanted to punch everyone in SCEPTER 4 for making Saruhiko work so much. "You've been filling your head with stupid thoughts again, haven't you?"
Yata glared at him.
"I'm not-! I don't-!" He freed his wrist from Saruhiko's sleepy fingers. "What do you want?! Do you want me to say I've been crying like a stupid baby so you can smirk at me? Do you want me to go back to that stage where all I could do was sob while you tried to hug me in the most awkward way ever?! I'm not-"
"I don't want that." His voice sounded almost like a laugh; it was musical and calm. "I want you to fill your head with me, if possible. Like I've filled mine with you for the past six or seven years."
A small part of Yata wanted to hit him for making him blush in such an inappropriate moment.
He ended up kissing him.
"Wait!" He parted his lips from Saruhiko's, and the taller boy mumbled something that sounded like stupid Misaki. "What do you mean, six or seven years? We know each other since our first middle-school year! That means we know each other for, uh, nine… no, eight…"
"Eight years." Saruhiko sighed. "Your lack of mathematical skills is totally destroying the mood, Misaki."
"Right! Eight years!" Yata completely ignored Saruhiko's complaints about his mathematical abilities. "What do you mean with your head being…" Don't blush. Don't blush. He blushed. "…Filled with me… or whatever for six or seven years?!"
"What, do you think I fell for you as soon as I saw your hairy middle-school self yelling at the corridors?" His voice sounded like music again; lately, that's how Saruhiko would talk, like happiness was overflowing through his mouth. "It took a bit of time, you know."
He said it in a mocking tone, but Yata wasn't into the discussion anymore; at some point, he noticed how hard he was gripping at Saruhiko's shirt, and relaxed his hands a bit. Suddenly, his mind was stuck on a single line: I want you to fill your head with me, if possible. Like I've filled mine with you for the past six or seven years.
"But, liking me this much…" Yata's voice sounded broken, and Saruhiko's smile faded away as he heard the other boy's voice. "…It wasn't any good for you, was it? You… told me. You suffered." I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you. "If I were to…' fill my head with you', wouldn't it be the same for me?"
Saruhiko's eyes stared at him for a long, long time. His lips curved into something between a sad smile and a smirk, and he raised his arm to touch Yata's face with a pale finger.
"Come to bed for a bit."
"I'm not taking orders from-!" He caught himself staring for a little too long at Saruhiko's prominent collarbone, and he blushed furiously. "Fine, then. Just because I want to."
He climbed into bed, and Saruhiko immediately found a comfortable position between Yata's arms. The funny feeling of Saruhiko's hair tickling his neck was something he'd never get used to.
"It's true that I suffered, yes."
Yata bit his lips and didn't answer. Saruhiko kept talking.
"Mostly because you're an idiot."
"But I don't regret it." He sighed. "I should, but I don't. Don't ask me why."
Again, Yata didn't answer. He felt Saruhiko shifting on top of his chest, and his breath became a little irregular when, once again, Saruhiko's face was extremely close to his.
"But you wouldn't suffer like I did. Don't be stupid." Again, a voice that sounded like laughter. A voice that only came up after Yata kissed him for the first time, a few months ago. "Luckily for you, I wouldn't let you suffer. I'd reciprocate it – your love. Idiot as you are, I love you, I rea-"
It was Yata's turn to cut him off, using his own mouth. Saruhiko's mouth – the only mouth he ever knew – felt fragile and needy against his. He interrupted the kiss a few moments later, and his stomach twisted at the sight of Saruhiko faintly blushing at him.
"You better be serious about this, because I- I might already like you a lot."
"You might like me? After all these months?" Saruhiko laughed, and it felt like the world was spinning around him. Around them. That stupid monkey was brimming with content. "What are you, a middle-schooler? At least say you love me."
"…I can show that to you." For some reason, Yata couldn't help but stare at Saruhiko's mouth. He felt a shudder when the taller boy smirked.
"We'll see about that."
Small, slender arms were wrapped around Saruhiko before he could say another word. He wouldn't want it any other way.
Yata was almost sure that nothing could be more delightful than having him. At the beginning, he'd act awkwardly in many aspects – hell, it took him weeks to be able to initiate a kiss properly -, but, at some point, he'd be so deeply wrapped in lust and love that his mind would turn into a blank page, and the only thing he could think or say was Saruhiko, Saruhiko, Saruhiko.
Maybe that's how that silly guy felt during all these years? Misaki, Misaki, Misaki – but without the touching part. Without being able to touch him and taste him like Yata himself was doing at the moment.
He kissed Saruhiko's chest again, his lips and tongue almost numb after so much kissing and licking. But it was worth it – hearing Saruhiko moaning softly, calling him and making him blush, it was completely worth it. Later, Yata knew he'd feel extremely embarrassed when he remembered those moments, but, right now, his mind was a blank, and there was only Saruhiko squirming under him. He didn't know how he managed to do all that – usually, he'd be incredibly shy about that stuff. But Saruhiko drove him crazy; every time, before he knew it, he was already kissing, licking and sucking, unaware of his own embarrassment.
"…You can put it in." Saruhiko said in a dazed tone.
"I want it now." Saruhiko's fingers slowly brushed against Yata's face, and he smiled. "Heh… so red… so cute…"
Yata bit his finger, making the taller boy groan.
"Hn… It feels unexpectedly good when you do that."
"Keep these perverted commentaries to yourself!"
He moved against Saruhiko, and the pleasure destroyed what was left of his awkwardness. The soft sound of moaning and the feeling of their bodies moving together left him almost breathless, and the whole world stopped existing; it was just Yata, Saruhiko and his beautiful, musical voice. At those moments, Yata felt like he could yell about how much he loved that stupid, stubborn guy under him: his entrancing body, the sound of his voice, his snarky remarks, the bitter taste of his mouth, his annoying personality, everything. But he was feeling too much to make any coherent words come out of his mouth; he only hoped Saruhiko would understand it all, somehow. Their bodies were communicating, after all.
It was like Saruhiko was swallowing him, and he liked that. His body was trembling with pleasure and love, so much love that it'd probably scare him later. I love you. I love you so damn much, it's pretty stupid.
He wondered if he was being a bit too rough on Saruhiko, and tried to slow down his rhythm. However, a possessive hand grabbed his thigh in a demanding manner.
"What're you slowing down for? It feels nicer when you do it rough- Nn!"
Finally we're agreeing on something, Yata thought briefly before his mind was once again engulfed in pleasure. Again, the world started to spin only around them – a small world full of nothing but themselves.
Saruhiko's voice was everywhere. It sounded like music.