NOTE: Uhm someone pmed me about song lyrics being not allowed in the story so at first the song lyrics were posted but now I deleted them, just read the fic while listening to the beautiful song of 'The Man Who Can't Be Moved' by The Script. SORRY!
Five years after high school Furihata still found himself sitting on a familiar bench in the public park located near Seirin. Normally it wasn't much of a big deal, he was a local here and his house and current apartment is only a few blocks away from where the park is located. It was normal to hang out here at least if this wasn't the very park where he had been torn apart and left to live in the past. Now, that wasn't normal by the very least.
The park was his favorite; it held the most of his memories, there was him as a child who would be playing around with other kids; getting dirty and bruised up while doing stupid things, then there were his middle school days and high school days when his friends chose to hang out in the park talking and teasing about nothing that was more important than their friendship and the time they all spent together. But most importantly, Furihata remembered the day when Akashi walked in his life; rudely sitting down next to him in the park bench without the decency to ask if someone minded if he did so, and that other day when Akashi ceased to be able to fill that spot next to him in the wooden park bench.
Still, the park was still his favorite none the less.
It wasn't the first time Furihata would meet Akashi, but it was the first time he would meet Seijuro; beautiful, selfish and sly Seijuro. They didn't talk at first; it was a one sided awkward silence and Furihata actually didn't expect a conversation to actually flow between them because the moment he looked up from the book that he was reading, he wanted to drop everything and run for the hills, except he didn't and Akashi didn't let him.
"You're a teammate of Tetsuya, are you not?" Akashi said his voice was surprisingly soft, so unlike the time when they; Kuroko, Kagami and himself, met him before. But the commanding tone was still present somewhere, but he was notably a lot less intimidating than the image Furihata had conjured in his head. At that point, Furihata could only nod in response, slowly closing the book he was reading to focus more on the other boy beside him.
"What's your name?" Akashi asked as he unsubtly confiscated Furihata's book to inspect it as if it was something that was offending him in some way. The book was something they had to read for English class and he honestly did not understand anything that was going on in the story. "The Little Prince?" Akashi read the title in perfect pronunciation, too perfect Furihata decided.
"Yes…it's for a book report. I- I'm Furihata Kouki, A-Akashi-san." He said nervously. He didn't know why the other was suddenly taking an interest in him of all things, nor why the red headed boy was actually in a park considerably very far away from his own school, not that what Akashi did in his spare time was any of Furihata's business, he was just really wondering why. He glanced at Akashi who was idly flipping the pages of his book, for a moment the other had a ghost of a smile in his lips and then it disappeared and was replaced by a genuine smile that looked very much attractive for his liking. "Then I shall call you Kouki, and you will call me Seijuro. It's nice to meet you, Kouki."
Furihata decided Akashi was a dangerous person when his heart made a noise he wasn't familiar with.
They dated for almost two years but a few months before Akashi finally broke up with him he was already seeing the signs. They were seeing each other less and less; he liked to think that was understandable though, they were in their senior year, or course they had college entrance exams to pass, requirements to accomplish, basketball to enjoy and Akashi was still the team captain of Rakuzan after all, but at the back of his mind he knew Akashi could find time if he wanted to, he always did when they were still friends, when they were at the peak or their relationship and he certainly could now that the relationship was hanging by a thread. That's right, Furihata knew Akashi could, but didn't want to. He knew that fact, but it still didn't stop him from hoping it was only because of all the finally stress getting to Akashi by all the responsibilities he had, and maybe once they graduate this phase would pass as well.
He didn't understand why this was happening to him. All he wanted to do was get Akashi back; he wanted to get his Seijuro back.
In a fit of desperation he had called Akashi on a Friday night two weeks before Seirin's own graduation and a week before Rakuzan's; he knew Akashi wasn't busy anymore, he was sure of that and he suggested and half pleaded that they meet at the old park just like old times; to reminisce and enjoy what was left of their high school days. It went unsaid that he wanted to save the relationship enough to plead to Akashi to spend time and resources to travel to Tokyo just to see him. He had never asked for anything so selfish in the whole span of their relationship, but he was taking his chances then, if only to keep Akashi by his side.
"I'll meet you there at 3pm, okay?" Furihata asked over the phone. Akashi was unnervingly quiet, it was too painful. He closed his eyes as if he was being the focus of Akashi's ever knowing stare. He was internally praying Akashi would give in to his request, just like he often did with his other petty request before this whole ominous stage happened in their relationship.
"If I find the time to do so, Kouki. I'll be there." Was the curt reply before the line was rudely cut off. Furihata bit his lower lip as he tried to stop himself from tearing up. Of course hot tears still spilled from the corner of his eyes as the sound of the line going dead was screaming in his left ear. "Please show up, okay? And…and I love you too." He whispered before succumbing to sobbing himself to sleep. Of course Akashi wasn't there the next day.
He never saw Akashi again actually.
Furihata woke up with swelling eyes and a splitting headache but that was the least of his worries, the pain in his chest was consuming him whole for him to notice the physical pain he was going through. He got up and went to his usual routine of going for a morning jog, bathing and then eating the breakfast his mom cooked for him. By noon he was already laying down the clothes he would be wearing for the meeting, or the soon to be stood up meeting he mused with dry humor. It was probably the end today. He just hoped Akashi had enough love for him to actually show his face if he ever brakes up with him. 'Love' That's right, he loved Akashi and he thought he was loved back. He felt and he knew he was loved back by Akashi but right now he didn't know if there was any love left for him to hope to cling on. It was truly frustrating; he wondered what he did wrong to deserve this kind of pain.
'You never did deserve him.' An angry voice hissed in his head but he quickly shook it away in annoyance. These were thoughts that he had when he started dating the other boy. He swore that he would never think those thoughts again, but then again…Akashi had also sworn they would always be together.
He was sure Akashi wouldn't show up, but he still waited there in the bench located at the shade of the biggest and oldest tree at the center of the park. It had the view of most of the park and no one particularly liked sitting there because it was too public but he didn't mind; they didn't mind that, but now he did. He felt alone and pathetic as the scenes of a thousand stories unfolded before his eyes, as he waited for his own story to happen. It never did.
He waited until he got sick of waiting. He waited until his phone battery went dead after calling Akashi's cell phone number at first every half hour, every ten minutes, every five minutes until he pushed the call button again and again until the message that the number was unable to be reached actually registered in his mind, but he still waited with a tear stained face and a growing hole in his heart. He waited until it was dark enough for the lamp posts to automatically turn on. He waited until all the rowdy kids, the dating couples of various ages, the groups of friends and the other lone figures such as himself all went back to their homes, where they belonged, and he watched with a darkened expression as the park slowly became empty, void of all the happiness and life it had just a few hours ago.
It was…just like him.
But Furihata wasn't stupid; he knew tomorrow the park would not be lifeless like he was back then, it would be full of life again making countless of different people happy. No, it wasn't like him.
He wouldn't be able to be full of life again; he won't even be able to live anymore, never, not until his Seijuro returns to him.
He only finds out that Akashi left to study abroad right after graduation from Kuroko when they had their annual team reunion. Most of the team members were studying at the same local university aside from; him, Riko and Kagami. Riko was studying at Tokyo U and Kagami was studying in a culinary school to be a chef while he was attending a school that was specializing in manga art. He wanted to be a mangaka and was well on the way to being one. He had quit basketball altogether in the pretense that his hands needed to be in perfect condition for him to bring out the best of his abilities in the field he was pursuing, but really, it was just painful that everything about the sport reminded him of the person he loves so much. He wasn't denying anything; he was still hopelessly in love with Akashi.
A short "Is that so?", partnered with a fake smile was the only reply he could muster up in front of Kuroko as the teal haired man's blue orbs burned into him, he uncomfortably shifted in his place. Kagami called Kuroko a bastard for bringing it up and Hyuuga suddenly changed the subject before Kuroko could retort by asking Koganei about how Mitobe was fairing in college. Though the mood shifted and the mention of Akashi and the other members of the Generation of Miracles were long forgotten, Furihata still couldn't shake off the pain that was still consuming his heart. It actually amazed him how much hurt he could take in a lifetime.
Later he found himself walking back in the park on his way home. He could never bring himself to hate the place; it was like his heaven when it was also his hell. He sat on that deserted bench again and cried as the memories of his past spilled in. This time he didn't care that it rained and he was soaked to the bones. His heart felt colder than his body, it was a painful kind of cold.
"Where are you going Furihata-kun?" Kuroko asked he looking up from his work as he saw the other man changing into outdoor clothes. The other male had just finished submitting his manuscript for the next month's issue of his ongoing shounen manga and Kuroko was coincidentally his editor. Currently Kuroko was in Furihata's apartment's drawing studio and was checking up on the revisions and dialogs before collecting the material and submitting it for re-printing.
"Uhm…I'm just going somewhere to think and get some fresh air. I've been cooped up here trying to finish that…and I want new ideas." Furihata said in an unsure manner. Kuroko and he had become closer than they ever were since they were the only people they knew in the publishing industry. Their friendship was going stronger with the fact that they were asked to work on different projects together. Sometimes Furihata thinks he couldn't hide anything from Kuroko. His friend even knows what happened between him and Akashi and to that Furihata was thankful that Kuroko almost never brings up the topic, but he knows that Kuroko knows about his fixation with that certain park.
"Are you going to that park again?" Kuroko sighed without breaking his emotionless exterior; sometimes Furihata wonders if Kuroko was human but he'd never ask it out loud plus Kagami wouldn't like his boyfriend's humanity to be questioned. Furihata allowed himself to show Kuroko a sad smile. "That's where my inspirations come from Kuroko, I can't help it."
"You know Furihata-kun, Shouyou-kun acts so much like someone I used to know." Furihata cringed at the prospect of his manga's protagonist being compared to someone. "He's too Akashi, it's painfully obvious." Kuroko's voice deadpanned in Furihata's head but he ignored his friend and editor and walked out of his apartment in a painfully embarrassing daze.
Furihata did try to forget Akashi. To put it plainly; it was a horrible experience and a process full of self-denial and fake smiles. It was Kawahara and Fukuda's idea that was backed up by Kagami and a clearly forced into it Kuroko. He tried going to blind dates and attending mixers but none ever worked out long enough to be called a proper relationship.
Most reasoned that he was too busy focusing in his mangaka career that he didn't have enough time for dates and even a relationship, some admitted he had a boring personality and there was one who said he wasn't passionate enough in bed. The last person he tried to date was a man two years his junior and was also a mangaka student; he thought he would finally be able to move on from the silhouette of Akashi with the other man's lighthearted and sincere laughter and overly enthusiastic personality but Ken, as he was forced to call the man named Hajime Kentarou, broke up with him the day he wanted to bring him to that park.
The brake up happened over coffee in small café near his apartment, it was something he didn't see coming. He actually tried more than he should to make the relationship work and true enough Hajime thanked him over and over again for his efforts. But he said that the only reason he was braking up with him was because he always sees; 'Kouki's eyes are never looking at Kentarou. Kouki's smiles are never for Kentarou. Everything you do is beyond me. I don't know what it is out there, but I'm just not that far away, Kou-kun.'
Furihata couldn't stop apologizing to Hajime. He couldn't stop himself from tearing up, but it wasn't for the failed relationship, it was because he was still bitterly in love with Akashi Seijuro. He was still waiting for someone who was so far away. He was still waiting for someone he had convinced himself would not come back anymore.
'Why would he come back?' A familiar voice keeps asking in the back of his mind. It saddened Furihata because he never had the answer to that.
"He's back." Kuroko said over dinner. They were in Kagami's new family restaurant, it was their new hang out and meet-up place or so it seemed and it even felt like they even had their own special booth since the one farthest away from the people and the entrance was always vacant when they visited. The food was wonderful; cooked by none other than Kagami Taiga and the ambiance was homely, it was the perfect place to relax and talk about manga plot holes, random ideas, deadlines and even their personal life. If he stayed late enough, he would even be able to chat with Kagami when closing time has passed.
Furihata's heart raced at those words and he tried to hide it from Kuroko by looking down and focusing in his meal. It was too bad Kuroko knew him enough to know that any talk and memory regarding Akashi brought him to pain. "I just felt like you would want to know about it." Kuroko said almost as an apology for saying something he shouldn't have. Kuroko shouldn't have said anything, really.
"Hey Kuroko, do you think it would cause trouble if I abruptly ended the series?" Furihata asked after a long awkward silence. Kuroko looked at him with a dark expression that made him wish he hadn't asked the question. The second manga he had made that was serialized had the title of 'Check Mate' and currently it was an ongoing hit. It was already an inside joke between the Seirin members since most of their friends who read the manga would know that the protagonist of the story was designed almost exactly like a certain red headed basketball team captain, only his appearance and interests were different. Furihata suddenly feared that Akashi might be able to read his work and know how he still feels for the other man. Akashi always knew things. Akashi was always right.
'Why would Seijuro spend time reading your crappy manga?' Another question registered in his head. That's right, Akashi wouldn't spend time to know what happened to him, much more to read a random manga. How childish was he? How obnoxious was he being right now?
"I'm sorry Kuroko, that was a stupid question." Kuroko nodded at that. "It is. Don't even think about doing that; Shouyou hasn't even met Rin-chan yet." Furihata blinked at Kuroko. "Who is Rin-chan?" Furihata asked in utter confusing. "She's Shouyou-kun's love interest." Furihata let out a small chuckle as he kept his other emotions in check. "But he doesn't have a love interest. He's selfish, self-centered, he cares only for his well being and he's too busy saving the world to love…he's…Akashi like that." Kuroko shook his head. He had a weird expression than made Furihata frown. "No, he does. Her name is Rin-chan she's always patiently waiting until the moment comes when Shouyou will finally look her way. She is Kouki like that."
He almost wanted to punch Kuroko.
"Furihata-kun, you're drunk. We'll take you back to your apartment now." Kuroko's blurry voice was registering in Furihata's head. He looked up at Kagami and Kuroko's figures looming above him, somehow they were an intimidating sight. Whoever it was that suggested they go for a group drink would have to deal with his shit later, but right now he wanted everyone to just leave him alone and let him sit in his special bench, in his special park as he tries to sober up more than he already is and get some nostalgic memories in his brain. He was a masochist like that; would you have the heart to sue him?
"I don't want to, please…leave me alone. Just do some couple stuff for once, both of you. I'm not a kid anymore, I'm a grown man." He was feeling bitter again and angry and he was obviously not angry at Kuroko and Kagami for caring about his well being, but god damn it he just wanted to be alone for awhile. If he had to be rude and pissy to get them off his back he would be, he was supposed to be drunk anyway.
"Leaving a drunken man outside his house is out of the question Furi." Kagami's slightly irritated voice answered almost immediately to his outburst. "What's your problem anyway, why can't you just continue your sulking inside your apartment? That way we can all have the peace of mind that you're safe." Kuroko sighed. "Taiga is right Furihata-kun, we'll just take you back to your apartment and we promise not to bother you anymore tonight."
"No, I want to stay here! And are you seriously asking me what my problem is?" Furihata asked as he looked up again to Kuroko and Kagami, he had a sad smile plastered in his flushed face. "Akashi Seijuro is my problem." He bit his lips and tried to fight the tears that were threatening to spill. "It's been almost five years since he stood me up in this very park and I'm still waiting for him. I'm still so in love with him and I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I'm so depressed because he didn't even care to give me a decent goodbye. He never told me he would be leaving after high school to some foreign fucking country I could only know where. He just threw me away like I'm a disposable thing, and I probably was in his eyes, but you know I still love him." He panted heavily as the words he had always been keeping to himself all this time finally seeped out. But he wasn't finished yet and he knew they would listen. They always did and he was thankful for that.
"Can you understand how much I hate myself right now? I can't even move on from a simple relationship that happened years ago. I'm honestly pathetic. I am pitying myself, it's disgusting. How was I so stupid to actually believe that I would mean anything to someone like Akashi Seijuro? I wasn't worthy of him in any aspect…but I made myself believe that it was okay. That no matter how perfect he was, it was okay. Do you guys know how perfect he was? He's just so beautiful it hurts my heart just remembering his very image, but it's okay you know… I can't do anything. I'm still in love with him. I just…I'll just sit here remembering how we met and all the happy memories we shared. Is that so bad?"
He closed his eyes because he didn't want to see the sad expressions his friends were making. It pained him more.
"It's 2:45am in the morning Tetsuya. Give me one reason for me not to hang up on you right now and make you pay for it dearly when I wake up later." Akashi's harsh voice rang through the line. If he so much as scared of the threat Kuroko sure didn't show it in his face. He just blankly stared at the sleeping figure of Furihata Kouki who was being transferred by Kagami to their house from the car parked in the garage.
"We need to talk, Akashi-kun, it's about Furihata Kouki. Don't even think of hanging up on me, I know where you live."
Five years after high school Furihata still found himself sitting on a familiar bench in the public park located near Seirin. It was an odd Saturday afternoon, Kuroko had invited him to Kagami's restaurant to talk about work and to collect the newest volume of his ongoing series. The editor again brought up the talk about introducing another character who he was fixated in naming Rin-chan. Furihata didn't know how he could convince Kuroko to stop trying to add a very convenient plot twist in the story that would not only make his protagonist more human, but also a happier, it was a brilliantly idea, but it was making him feel bad in many ways. When Kuroko realized he was feeling uncomfortable with this he suggested he go for a walk alone while he checked on the manuscript again; maybe to think about the suggestion once again.
He wasn't sure if he had heard it right but there was a tinge of desperation in Kuroko's voice. It was probably his imagination but Kuroko's stare when he tried to say he was okay and that his decision was final made him immediately stand up and walk out of the restaurant. It was a commanding stare that told him he was not having any of Furihata's messed up private life mixed in with the marketability of their manga and of course Furihata would run away from that before he could piss the other man off more than he should.
"Shouyou-kun will be happier if Rin-chan is with him. Think about it again." Kuroko said to him as he was walking away from the booth. Unconsciously his feet dragged him again to the same spot he has loved through the years. It was his own special place and as much as it confused and depressed him, it also calmed him down and made him realize the things that he wanted in life; like drawing manga, being friends with everyone in Seirin, understanding why the Little Prince had to leave each planet and having Akashi Seijuro for himself.
"Would Seijuro be happier if I was with him?" He asked out loud as he closed his eyes and felt the warm summer breeze pass through his skin. The park was weirdly deserted and he was being bold enough to talk to himself.
"You left Furihata-kun for his own safety and you conveniently forgot to inform him of the matter regarding this whole argument with your father?" Kuroko repeated in a one sentence summary the whole ordeal of Akashi's side of the story. Kuroko's lifeless voice was booming in Akashi's mobile phone at the most ungodly hour of the day but the red head didn't mind it so much more than the news he was hearing of Furihata's despairs.
"He wasn't one to give up a relationship just because some people did not approve of it. Kouki's hardheaded that way. I feared for his safety above all else, I was incapable of protecting him back then." Akashi sighed in frustration as he was again remembering the choices he made that up until now he wasn't sure whether they were right or wrong.
"But you're more than capable of protecting him now. Why haven't you gone back to him?"
"What makes you think I want to go back to him, Tetsuya?"
"Because it's four in the morning and you're still talking to me over the phone about Furihata Kouki, someone you left five years ago." With that sentence Kuroko knew he had Akashi where he wanted him, and Akashi knew Kuroko had just found his way with words around him again.
"I cannot retort to that, honestly. I'll confess that I'm afraid to be rejected by him if I had the gull to come back. I always believed he would be able to find someone who would treasure him and make him happy more than I could. I never felt contented in any aspect of our relationship…I didn't think I deserved him."
Kuroko could only sigh. He's finally heard both sides of the story and the only thing he could come to the conclusion of is that the two were both idiots. 'Idiots in love' he heard himself say internally. Furihata and Akashi deserved each other, he was sure of that. "I'll tell you what you need to do to deserve him, Akashi-kun."
"Of course I will, Kouki. Will you?" Furihata's eyes snapped open as he looked at the spot beside him. He didn't notice someone had sat beside him. He felt his veins run cold as he identified the crimson haired man that was dressed in an expensive white suit that was obviously out of place in the simple park. For the second time in his life he felt like seeing Akashi Seijuro made him think of running for the hills. He didn't know what expression he was making but it was probably as ugly one seeing as Akashi had a disapproving look in his handsome face. "Your hair has grown longer, Kouki." Akashi said as he reached out his hand and examined a lock of brown hair between his delicate pale fingers. Furihata didn't know how to retort to that. He didn't even know what to do right now. It felt like a dream, something like a nightmare.
Because no matter how much he waited, he never believed that Akashi would come back. He was already contented with waiting for nothing, but then he had to come back now. Akashi was here again, so suddenly and without warning he just walks right back in Furihata's life like it was the most normal thing to do after disappearing on him for five years.
"I- I don't understand. Why are you here?" Finally after what seemed like hours Furihata had managed to conjure a proper thing to say. Only he wanted to ask more but he wouldn't dare. Akashi remained silent as he stood up and positioned himself in front of Furihata. He reached for Furihata's balled fists that were resting on his thighs. Furihata could feel Akashi's cold fingers loosening up his own from the firm grip. It was so Akashi to control him so easily like that. It was painful that even now Akashi still had this effect on him. "Because you're stupid enough to still be in love with me." Furihata gawked at Akashi. He pulled his hands away from the other and was about to stand up and leave when Akashi grabbed both his hands back again with enough force to startle Furihata into sitting back down. "And… because and I have the audacity to ask you to be mine again."
Furihata trembled and almost cried when Akashi did the last thing he would ever think he would do; he kneeled in front of Furihata still clasping both the other man's hand and he looked up to him with a sad expression that finally broke Furihata's almost non-existent composure. Furihata began to sob into his and Akashi's entangled fingers. "Why would I believe you?" He managed to say in between his sobs. His voice trembled and his words were soft and almost inaudible but Akashi understood what he wanted to say. Akashi always understood him, and it wasn't surprising that he still did after all their years apart.
Akashi let go of his hand. Furihata bit his lip as he felt cold hands were gripping either side of his face and slowly angling the face to be looking down on the still kneeling Akashi in from of him. "Look at me Kouki." Akashi ordered in a stern voice. Furihata tried to open his eyes and to blink his tears away. His vision was blurry but he could see the determined look Akashi had in his eyes as well as he could hear it from the other man's voice. " I am Akashi Seijuro, the sole heir to the Akashi Corporation and even without that I have too much accomplishments that it would take too long to recite right here and right now, but you of all people should know that I have an ego as big as the world and kneeling in front of anyone and in a dirty park ground to boot is not something I do, ever. I see no reason for you to doubt my sincerity when I tell you I love you, Furihata Kouki and that I want you back in my life, even if I have to go through everything I did before or even more if that's what it takes just to make you mine again."
Furihata didn't answer as he pulled the other man into a kiss, their mouths clashing with each other with the mixture of bliss, need and pure delight. It wasn't a chase kiss that would seal what seemed like a fairy tale ending. It was a needy kiss full of passion, tears and pain; a kiss worth five years of haunting memories, painful experiences and mind wrecking self preservation. The moment Akashi's lips met his, he knew Akashi was also feeling the same way. He was also suffering while they were away from each other. It wasn't only him. With a visible smirk Akashi broke their kiss and continued to plant chase kissed in his face; he on the other hand tried to grasp for air.
"What time is it, Seijuro?" Furihata suddenly asked, a ghost of a smile dancing on his lips. Akashi actually ceased kissing him to check his watch for the time. "Three thirty five in the afternoon. Why?" He answered giving Furihata a questioning glare for ruing the moment. "You're late." Furihata smiled as he opened his mouth and pulled Akashi back into another kiss.
A/N: Hey Guys! Hope you enjoyed the stupid spur of the moment story I wrote...please reaview! I really spent like 3 days contemplating on the existence of this stupid story...but yeah, it happened. Tell me how you guys feel about it ;u;