A/N: Hey everyone! This is my new story that's actually 4 years old, as you can tell by my lengthy absence. This is just the prologue! Chapters will not be this short I assure you. And! I'm not Stephenie Meyer.
She led me the top of the building where her mother worked. I was confused by her actions. She was terrified of heights. I had learned not to be surprised anymore, ever since her break up with James she had acted strange and unlike herself, doing things she never would. I stuck by her though. She was my best friend. I loved her as a sister, and felt it was my role to be there for her in the absence of what she needed most.
"Bella?" She addressed me finally after uncomfortable silence with tears already glazing over her eyes. I was used to that look, she had worn it for months.
"Yeah, Tanya?" I thought that maybe she would finally open up to me, she looked like there was so much to say. I had never been the type of person to ask for information that wasn't volunteered. She pressed her full lips into a straight line, and rested her hand on top of her ever-growing baby bump. She was twenty, pregnant, alone, and scared.
"Do you believe in God?" She asked reluctantly. I couldn't possibly imagine where she was going with this. Religion and politics were not are usual sleepover topics, I was bad with deep conversations.
"I'm not sure Tanya, I guess not." I told her honestly while putting a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off and smiled meekly. She hadn't liked being touched anymore.
"You don't believe in heaven or hell then?" Her voice was so soft I could barely hear her. I took a step toward her. I didn't try to touch her again, I didn't want her to be uncomfortable.
"Probably not, but who knows?" I answered. "I think that God, Heaven, and Hell are kind of a package deal. I don't see how someone could believe or not believe in one, and not the others." She looked at me quizzically, her facial expression perpetuated by my response, and at that moment I knew something was wrong. It wasn't wrong like when she found out James had gotten her pregnant, or even wrong like when he left her as soon as he found out. Whatever she was thinking, was detrimental.
Her face distorted in pain, and her chin began to quiver. She was fighting back tears that she shouldn't have been ashamed to shed. "Do you think I would go to heaven, Bella? Do you think I'm….good enough?" She let the tears flow freely as she asked.
"Tanya, you're one of the best people I know. I know you're going through a hard time right now, and we're all sinners. You deserve the best out of life, and death. I can't say for sure, no one can. But I think you would go to heaven if there is one." I looked into her eyes, trying to look as deep as I could. I wanted to see her soul. The soul that I was certain would go to heaven. But it was blocked by pain, and defensiveness. She wouldn't allow anyone to see the soul that she wasn't sure of, not until she could see it herself.
She faked a half smile, and walked toward me wrapping me in a gentle hug. I wrapped my arms around her, too. It was the only physical contact she had made with anyone in months. I could feel her belly pressing against me. I would be Auntie Bella in about four months. I would have help her the best I could.
"Please never blame yourself for this." She said before kissing me on the cheek and letting go of our embrace.
"Tanya, what are you talking about?" I asked, frightened. I was piecing together the puzzle but didn't want to see the result. I relished in the few moments of denial she had graciously given to me.
"You really did the best you could, Bella. But I'll never be happy. Please just….don't blame yourself." She finished and she cried for just a moment. A real cry, not of sadness or anger, but relief. She looked down at her swollen belly and mumbled another apology, to her unborn child this time.
My heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty. I was about to ask her to explain again. Anything to stall her, I just wanted to talk her out of what she was thinking and help her realize her worth.
But she never would. Before I could get a single syllable out of my mouth, she got a running start and flung herself from the top of the building onto the asphalt 16 stories below.
I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out but a broken sob. I ran to the side where she had jumped, as if she might be hanging onto something within my reach. I thought that maybe I could save her, but when I looked all I saw was my best friend, broken and mangled on the ground. Two lives wasted, destroyed by a selfish man.
That moment, was the beginning of the end of me.
Okay so I really need some opinions on this, I'm rusty. This story will be difficult to write, and it's very very dark.
Peace and Love