Sometimes my brain reels with ideas and I get to write a short in a matter of hours, while putting the other works on hold. Hope you enjoy this fluffy story.
Inspiration: I listen to music a lot when I write (unusual I know) so listening to a so called 'ship mix' that I created which included, Littlest Things by Lilly Allen, Lay Lady Lay by Magnet and Turn Me On by Norah Jones and a bunch of others...here be the story!
Spoilers: season 8 (Scully's pregnancy mainly)
The want to be touched was strong and I wanted nothing more than for him to touch me the way he used to. When things were new and exciting, after failed attempts at IVF there was nothing more I wanted than the comfort of a warm body. I took him in his bed and he took me in mine, he praised every inch of my body…but now, there is this mass between us and I sense that he's hesitant to even think of touching me in any way. I've told him many times that this baby is undoubtedly his, but he is worried about hurting me. After all we've been through as a so called 'couple' and everything I went through trying to become pregnant; he still can't seem to do it. So here we sit on my couch, watching a movie, snuggled up together, his hand resting on my stomach as he feels for baby kicks, grinning ear to ear and placing a gentle kiss on my head when he feels something.
"You want to come to bed…" I ask him gently and passively, as to not raise his suspicions of my request, though he shakes his head 'no.'
"Scully, I—"he tries to explain but can't get much out before the tears start streaming down my face and I throw his hand off of me and raise as quickly as I can and make my way to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. It's not the first time he's brushed me off like this in the last couple weeks but I just need him near me, whether or not this child is a miracle from God, the product of a union or God forbid an alien child, I want him to be here for me, as much as I thought I could do it alone I can't. Using the bathroom and washing up I glance in the mirror, noticing the fullness of my breasts, looking further down at the growing belly that I had once been excited about, now daunting and scary looking. Always careful about what I ate during pregnancy and still trying regular exercising, it was exhausting and no matter what you did, you still got this belly…though I wouldn't change a day. I smile to myself as I cradle the growing bulge; I reach up and wipe the tears that had been streaming earlier and make my way to the door I had slammed only a few minutes earlier opening it I find Mulder leaning against the wall waiting for me.
"I'm sorry, Scully." He is sincere in his apology and feels terrible about hurting me in this fragile state. "This…" he reaches and touches my stomach, "…I just can't risk hurting you or this baby."
"Do you have any idea how much I just want your touch and comfort…?" I blurt out not able to control my hormones. I close the gap between us and kiss him, passionate and wanting, I know I shouldn't and I know sex during pregnancy isn't unheard of but some men just can't bring themselves to do it. I break the kiss and look at him, he's stunned and I can tell in his eyes that he wants this as badly as I do.
"Scully, you want to know the biggest problem…?" I nod anxiously wanting him to explain why he doesn't want to touch me. "If I get started-you know what you do to me…" he lowered his head in slight embarrassment and I close the gap between us again searching for his lips, kissing him tenderly and pulling him towards my bedroom I can't help but deepen our kiss. Ever since I got Mulder back I've wanted nothing more than his arms around me like he used to, the closeness that was shared for such a little time, it's the one thing I craved most from pregnancy.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Mulder knelt before me, paying homage to the child in my belly he releases the buttons from the bottom of my pajama top first, exposing my growing abdomen to him, I've been so self conscious about it and here he is praising my body again. I blush as he stares, glancing up at me and noticing the blush he places his hands on my stomach and kisses it gently, looking up at me and making sure what he was doing was ok for my comfort level. I have to let him do it, the changes my body as gone through has made me extremely uncomfortable. His hands have made their way further up my pajama top, releasing the buttons as he goes and he notices the change of my breasts as well, his eyes growing wide and smiling. I blush again and it radiates down to my chest.
"Come on Scully, you said you wanted this…" he says gently as he kisses the curve of my breast, the bra I'm wearing is definitely being stretched, pregnancy is causing it yes but the growing excitement has made them swollen and enlarged as well. He was right; I wanted this more than anything…I think.
"Mulder—"I don't know what to say, he's completely right, is this what I want? Do I want the full deal or just some good quality snuggle time? With Mulder snuggle time was hard to maintain, there was something between us in these 7 years that caused a lot of tension and the night I let that melt away there was no going back. He's not stopped kissing my stomach and chest and my mind is reeling with confusion and want.
"Scully, I know this is what you want but I need you to be completely comfortable telling me 'no' if it gets to be too much. I won't be mad…I'd prefer it that way actually." I was touched by his sincerity but could not say 'no' at this point. His hands had cupped my breasts and were kneading gently though I wince and he pulls away, I grab his hands and rest them.
"They're very tender…" I explain to him and he nods in understanding. He has pushed the pajama top over my shoulders and undone the front clasp of my bra letting my breasts come into view, I don't know if I can fully look at him as he is ogling me and brace myself on my arms and lean back slightly, letting my head loll back. I can't help but moan as I feel his mouth on my breast bone, I sense him above me slightly, urging me back so he could join me on the bed. I shed my pajama bottoms, leaving panties, as I move up the bed and he smiles at my insistence removing his shirt and pants leaving himself clad only in boxers, a barrier just for the time being, for both of us.
"God, Scully, I know you probably hate it but—God you're beautiful." I saw truth in his eyes and blushed again. Part of me thinks I needed the reassurance that I was still attractive in my current state, part of it was from missing him for the past 6 months, the longing to share the miracle that lay in my belly, remembering nights of crying, while cradling my growing stomach wanting it to be him cradling me instead. I lay on my side, one of the only positions that doesn't cause my legs to go numb anymore and he lays against my back spooning me, part of me thinks this is all I want, to be held, to be reminded of what we had and what we had lost. His hand on my hip, feeling around the new body that lay before him, he knows my hips and thighs are fuller than they used to be but he doesn't dare tell me out loud. I can only tell by the way he is touching them, committing it to his wonderful memory.
I sigh heavily as he dips his mouth to my neck, kissing and nibbling at the secret spots he learned some time ago. He knows they drive me wild and my moaning ensues, urging him to continue is assault on my neck and shoulder. His hand has made its way to what used to be my slender waist…I hate it and tense up as I feel him trace my figure with his wonderful hands.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asks, concerned that he has hurt me in some way.
"No…I'm fine." I lie only slightly and he knows, he's known me too well and for too long to not notice the changes in my voice when 'I'm fine' to when I'm really 'not fine.'
"Liar…" he snuggles in against my back and pulls the comforter over us as he nestles in against my back, breathing me in.
"I'm sorry—Mulder—I'm truly…" I fade off not sure what to say.
"I told you it was fine. I'm not mad. Hormones can make you do crazy things and that's from a psychological view point." He tenses as if I was going to hit him.
I shoot him a glare from over my shoulder; I can't believe he blamed the hormones! It takes balls for a guy to say that to a girl and I can't believe he said it; I laugh it off and turn my head and meet his lips with my own. I enjoy what we have, though I wish it was so much more at this point, his hand has made its way to my now bare abdomen and rests there making up and down motions with his fingers, like a spider on a mirror and I laugh.
"Do you want me to stay?" he asks me and is rewarded with a laugh.
"That's one of the stupidest questions you've ever asked me." I smile and lay there enjoying his touch, as I close my eyes, I think about the times we shared in the past and how we actually ended up here. I drift off slowly enjoying the skin on skin contact with him while I can, hoping happiness and joy can find us.
"Tomorrow's a new day, Scully…." I hear him barely whisper in my ear and give me a kiss on the cheek.