A.N: So still taking things slow and everything, yeah sorry about that. I'm trying to finish to fanfictions at the same time…bad idea. Anyways thanks for that wait, I hope you enjoy and I'm looking forward to your reviews~
Quiet and steady beeping off the heart monitor filled the underground doctor's improvised hospital room. Izaya was lying on a bed, his skin pale and his eyes closed, looking like they would never open again. He was lying there for hours and Shizuo hadn't left his side for a second of that time. Watching, guarding, hoping. He just couldn't stand the thought of Izaya dying here, after everything that happened. Not here, not now that he was safe. He squeezed the informant's motionless hand, trying to transfer some warmth on the lithe form. He barely kept himself awake. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically. He needed sleep, but he needed Izaya back more.
"I bet you are laughing somewhere out there, really getting a kick out of this, huh?" He muttered to unconscious form; "I, who tried to kill you ever since we met, now doesn't want you gone. Yup, darn right hilarious." He chuckled as a tear slipped down his cheek.
He wanted nothing more then for Izaya to bounce up in his bed and tell him how much of a protozoan he was to believe that the great Izaya Orihara would be taken down so easily. He wanted the informant to thrown knifes and insults at him, to run around with that annoying little smirk, having the time of his life as he broke every single one of Shizuo's nerves.
But that didn't happen.
Izaya remained cold and motionless, completely unresponsive. His mouth was slightly open, soft, barely audible breathing the only sign of life except the beeping heart monitor. Shizuo held tightly to the informant's hand, willing him to wake up and tease him about being so worried about him. This would never have happened if he took better care of him, if he haven't kicked out the depressed raven. He should have known better, he should have known that it was not an act, that Izaya was serious. He never really intended on hurting the raven, let alone killing him. It was all just a…
What was it?
Was he trying to scare Izaya away from him? Take revenge for all the pain he caused him? What was it? What was he trying to do by chasing Izaya all over Ikebukuro, throwing various objects at him? He always blamed it on his uncontrollable anger and on Izaya's endless annoyingness, but…has it really been just that? After all he learned to deal with his brothers subtle provocations over the years, making sure he didn't crush the only person that was actually unafraid to provoke him.
The only person…?
…Izaya was unafraid too.
So why is it that he could hold his anger down near Kasuka and he would go totally out of control around Izaya? Was it because Izaya's way of annoying him wasn't subtle and quite but obvious and loud? That couldn't be it, Shinra was loud and annoying too, but he never thrown a vending machine at him. Threatened too, sure, but he never really did it.
What was it about Izaya that made him feel so angry? So outraged? Was it the little raven soared above the rooftops, free from all the daily commotion? The way he seemed untouched by all human concerns? The way he kind of really seemed like a god he was trying to be…just to come down to back to earth to…
"Ne, ne I just came to play with my Shizu-chan~"
His Shizu-chan? When did he agree to that? Down right never, he was sure. And yet, the flea seemed so comfortable saying it, like that's exactly how he thought of him.
"I love you…"
And then there was that. Izaya's sudden confession. He thought it was a joke, but after everything that happened…there was just no way that he was joking. Izaya loved him. Him, the monster of Ikebukuro, the one who most of people avoided in large circles. And yet, there he was, loved by his most fierce enemy, it was really a funny situation.
And how did he feel?
The question rung through his mind over and over again, questioning every little thing he knew about Izaya. Because, obviously, it was all fake. Just a mask Izaya made. But why? To get closer to him?
Shizuo groaned in frustration. Thinking was not his strong point, smashing problems was his strong point. He allowed Izaya's small hand to slip out of his and stood up, walking out of improvised hospital room. He fished out a cigarette out of his pocket, setting it aflame, sharply inhaling the familiar and soothing smell of intoxicating smoke that he found so addictive. Tucking away the cigarette in the corner of his mouth, letting the nicotine stream down his system and calm him down, he felt at ease again. He could clear this out, no problem; he just needed to solve the problem one bit at the time.
First: How did he feel about Izaya?
Shizuo frowned, finding himself getting stuck at first question. This really sucked, just like back in High School. He inhaled deeply once again, trying to sort out his thoughts.
Well, for starters he didn't really hate the flea. If he did he wouldn't have saved him. Did he like the flea…well…kind off, the new one at least, not that all-knowing sociopath, but the cute, innocent little Izaya that looked at him like he was his whole world…did he just call Izaya cute…and innocent.
He really was in love with him.