I heard him, I knew him. I'm not as stupid as most to assume. Even in my suit and behind my desk most assume my size dictates what I am. Just like his tattoos I am sure say to most about him. I have garnered enough over the new time we have had together that I know what this is about. But I want him to say it out loud. I want him to admit it not for me but to himself. I know being trapped in your own head can really mess you up. You either vocalize it or let it eat you up and swallow you whole.
Frankly I have put my whole life into this, whether I knew it or not. If I had gone back six months I would have never thought it that way but as of a few short months ago i knew what this was and know in fact that time and time again this would happen again and again until it played out the right way. One way or another. So being here like this I am going to give it my all and hope it doesn't play out the way the plaguing dreams have shown. I want to have some faith in the fates.
Up the elevator and into his house he is not himself, well the himself I had seen all day. I want to push it but I know the way or think I do, the ways it could go wrong. I always pride myself on one step ahead thinking and right no I am going on gut. I set my bags down and watch him take his to the cage and uncover it. He coos and talks to his bid. He spends a good amount of time talking in a reassuring voice.
I watch as he pulls it out briefly and kisses it's head before placing it back in the cage and feeding it. I hear him whisper the name Frank to it over and over again as he feeds and pets it.
"So it's a he?" I felt a bit left out and well a bit on edge.
"Um no actually it's a she. I named her before I knew." he seemed fidgety and like I had walked in on him dancing ballet in a tutu or something.
"What about Frankie?" it is idle conversation but I am desperate here.
"Tried that. She wasn't digging it. So Frank it is." He seemed to be back to himself of the days past. I couldn't take that step back but I let him finish up and get comfortable in his space again.
He put the food away, he shucked off his shoes and so did I. I followed him to the bedroom and he switched to sweats, I pulled my new ones from the bags I had did the same. He went to the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the fridge. So did I.
"It was a nice first date wasn't it?" and he choked on his water. Yeah I was never good at the new thing either. I patted his back. "Sorry, I have never been good at,"
Wiping his mouth he motioned for me to stop until he was breathing normal again. Once he was a normal color again I felt safe to babble again.
"I thought it was nice is all I was saying." he was all sorts of colors and I wasn't talking about his ink.
"It was my first date." he admits and I am visually banging my head on the granite. I had had many things flying through my mind. I am sure they are still right about his mood but I am no where near close to all the whys. I want to bang my head on the counter, I want to slap my self mad I want to scream at myself for not doing it up better but I feel his hand on my arm. It's his eyes though stop me from actually doing it. "Yes it was, it was great."
It was cheesy and very chick flick like and I feel like I should be swooning, then he is smacking my ass and off down the hall. I am reeling in the warm fuzzy feelings until I realize, he has admitted something and avoided a whole hell of a lot more.
"Not so fast hot shot!" I yell after him.
A/N: Sorry it has been so late tonight. Issues! Lol Hubby is on vacay and distracts me so I am trying. I promise no more missed nights til they finish up. But I can say there are going to be some back and forth chapters coming up that are short. All the stuff is gonna come out... Thanks for sticking with it! And LOVE the reviews!