I don't own these characters or profit from them.
Word Girl: Miss Appropriate
By, Clayton Overstreet
Today's Words are Appropriate and Vigilante
At the home of Becky Botsford, AKA Word Girl, our hero was having a long and boring day. Her class had a new substitute teacher named Miss A (and yes it's fairly obvious if you read the title, but have you seen this show?) and Becky had been worried about how to explain her sudden unexplained absences to a new teacher, but to her surprise for over a week now there had been no crimes committed in the city. Which was weird because when she checked none of the city's villains were in jail. Even Toby and the Birthday Girl were missing from school.
"Miss Botsford, it is not appropriate for you to be staring out the window in my class," Miss A said. She always knew when someone was doing something they should not, almost before they did it. She was an older woman with her hair in two tight braids on either side of her head.
"I finished the test several minutes ago Miss A," Becky said.
Surprised as the other students kept scribbling away the teacher came over and looked at her test. She frowned and picked it up, checking and finding all the answers answered perfectly. This seemed to irritate her, but she said, "Very well." Then she swung around and pointed to Scoops. "You! That is not your test."
"No, I… couldn't focus so I decided to work on a story for the school paper to help me think."
"I don't care," Miss A said. "You are going to detention."
Becky frowned. Miss A was very strict. So far Becky was the only kid in her class who did not have detention into the next month and it seemed like Miss A was just looking for an excuse.
When the bell rang everyone quickly filed out, leaving in silence to keep from attracting attention. Miss A smiled happily for the first time that day.
When she got home Becky looked at Bob, her monkey sidekick and said, "I don't get it, where have all the villains gone." He shrugged and squeaked that he had no idea.
Her brother TJ, also coming come from school, said, "Haven't you heard Becky? There's a new superhero in town and she's been on a run. Though she's not as good as Word Girl in my opinion." Becky stared at him. "Jeez Becky, watch TV sometime." He picked up the remote and turned on the television.
By sheer coincidence the news was on. "For those of you just tuning in I'm outside the city bank where the town's newest superhero was just caught on tape capturing the infamous Granny May." The scene switched to a bank security camera view of the sidewalk. Granny was just reaching for her knitting needles in her hair when a second figure showed up.
She was an older woman too from what Becky could tell, but she wore a nun's habit and a white mask over her mouth and nose. In her hand was a glowing ruler. "Stop right there miscreant!"
"Who the blue haired blazes are you?" Granny asked.
"I'm Miss Appropriate and I'm here to stop you from robbing this bank," she said.
Granny smirked. "Oh I see. An old lady smack down is it? Well bring it on!" She activated her armor.
There was an intense fight. Miss Appropriate was not as fast as Word Girl and Becky found herself on the edge of her seat as she slapped Granny aside with her ruler, a flash like lightning shooting through her armor. Granny hit the wall of the bank and her armor retracted. So she reached for her yarn, but another bolt from the ruler knocked it from her hand as soon as she took it out. One more took out her needles and purse. Then it sent a beam out that encased Granny in a bubble and lifted her into the air.
"You never had a chance Granny may. I can always tell when someone is thinking something inappropriate. I was ready for you as soon as you thought it." She glowed too and flew up into the air, dragging Granny behind her like a trailer.
The reporter returned. "Frankly I am amazed at the sheer effectiveness of our new hero."
"Wow," Becky said. "She's good."
Mrs. Botsford came into the room and said, "Becky I want you to turn that off."
"Because I do not like this new 'hero' that has been working around here. Miss Appropriate isn't a hero; she's a vigilante. Her actions aren't appropriate."
Bob squeaked a question.
Becky said, "Oh well appropriate means to do the correct thing at the correct time. Like when you waited until mom was done speaking to ask what the word meant." He nodded and squeaked again. "A vigilante is someone who takes law enforcement into their own hands without involving the police or court system." She looked at her mother. "Uh, isn't that what Word Girl does?"
"Not exactly dear. You see Word Girl waits until someone actually commits a crime before taking them to the police or jail. That is known as a citizen's arrest and is usually discouraged except in her case where she's got superpowers and so do the bad guys. Aside from that she either saves lives when people have accidents or always asks the police if they need help with anything else. Miss Appropriate meanwhile goes after criminals when they are thinking about a crime but before they can actually do it."
"Isn't that a good thing? I mean knowing Granny May for example I'm sure she was there to rob the bank."
"That's not how our system of justice works Becky. A crime has to be committed, not just contemplated. Then the person committing the crime needs to be arrested by the proper authorities, given a trial by members of the community they wronged, and then if found guilty by the evidence sentenced for that crime. Word Girl always turns the villains over to the police or takes them to prison if they escaped. Miss Appropriate takes them away to who knows where."
"From the look of the people on TV not everyone thinks this is a bad thing," Becky said.
"That's because they haven't thought it through," her mother said. "First of all it can't be left up to one person to decide on the spur of the moment if someone is guilty. We have rules and as the DA it's my job to enforce them. Second if you think about it a lot of times what a supervillain does is not technically against the law. At least at the time they do it. Many of the laws they are prosecuted under are more city ordinances."
"Like those signs by the bank that say it is illegal to turn any non-food items into cheese or to bury a person under meat?"
"Exactly." She turned off the television. "I would hate for anyone else to emulate Miss Appropriate." She walked back into the kitchen.
Bob squeaked. Becky nodded. "Mom has a point." He hooted. "I know, and I almost agree with you. The city has been a lot quieter than before. Still I'm not sure it's right to just haul the bad guys off and never bring them back. Especially the ones who aren't really responsible for their actions like Dr. Two-brains. If it weren't for that evil mouse brain he would be a very nice and the Birthday Girl has her issues but she's just a little girl (with an admittedly hugely annoying speech pattern and super powers) and usually doesn't mean to hurt anything." Becky paused. "Let's see what we can find out about my new colleague and maybe we can reason with her." Bob squeaked. "I'll define colleague for you on the way."
At Word Girl's secret spaceship hideout Word Girl and Captain Huggyface are contemplating the appropriate action. "This is weird Bob. It seems that Miss Appropriate has been a superhero in over a dozen cities. She moves from city to city taking care of all their villains and then it seems every time the last villain gets desperate and does something that makes all but about a quarter of the populace vanish entirely."
The monkey hooted and shook his head.
"True, supervillains aren't the most stable people. But they do always seem to stick with their plan. Like if the Butcher were really desperate and had the power he might bury the city in meat or Dr. Two-brains would turn it to cheese. In each case though these people just disappeared." Captain H squealed. "You're right. Let's find this Miss Appropriate and see what she says. There has to be a supervillain in this town that she hasn't caught yet. Word up!"
Word Girl flew over the city but soon was beginning to despair. Not only was she unable to find a villain in any of the usual places, but also there just seemed to be fewer people on the streets. Finally she saw a bright flash in the distance and flew before it stopped.
When she arrived Miss Appropriate had the Amazing Rope Guy tied up inside one of her energy bubbles and was just preparing to leave when she noticed the arrival of the other two. "Ah, Word Girl, we meet at last."
"Miss Appropriate," Word Girl said. "What are you doing?"
"This man was about to steal a hotdog." She looked at the nearby hotdog vendor for confirmation.
"Well he was looking at them…' The man said nervously.
Word Girl said, "You know it might be better if you waited until someone did something wrong before snatching them off the street."
"He was guilty of inappropriate thoughts."
"I was hungry," Rope guy said.
Word Girl said, "Well then let's get him off to prison where they'll take care of him."
"That won't be necessary," Miss Appropriate said. "I have my own holding facility for people like this that doesn't drain the public coffers."
Word Girl was about to say something when her super hearing picked up a creaking sound. When she looked she saw the woman's knuckles turning white on her ruler an energy beginning to build along the edge. She shared a look with Captain Huggyface. "Well that's super! I wish I had something like that."
"You do?" She asked, surprised.
"I sure do. Your brand of vigilante justice is amazing. Hey, how about you do me a favor as a fellow superhero? Take me to the holding facility so I know where it is. That way next time I catch a bad guy I can take them right there!"
"That would be great," Miss Appropriate said. "Follow me." She turned and flew off towards the sea.
When they arrived Word girl gasped as they flew into a dormant volcano and she saw what had become of the villains. Rows and rows of people in glass tubes hooked up to wires. Some she recognized, others were probably from other cities.
"What have you done to them?" she asked.
Proudly as she lowered Rope guy into another tube she said, "I have found a way to use their powers to augment mine. I can read inappropriate thoughts, but I need power for my Ruling Ruler." She waved the glowing measuring device. "Supervillains especially give off bioelectricity that my machine can harness."
"I see… wait… you said especially. That implies that…" Captain Huggyface jumped down and began pointing excitedly. She looked around. "Oh my."
Not everyone in the tubes was a villain. Many of them were people Word girl recognized. Students at her school, people who walked down the street… the mayor! "What have you done?"
"They had inappropriate thoughts," Miss Appropriate said.
She turned and pointed at one tube in particular. "That's my…" She had almost said best friend. "That's Violet! She's the nicest girl in town. She doesn't think a bad thing about anybody, including Toby who has on several occasions tried to kidnap her with giant robots. What could she possibly have done wrong?"
"She has an inappropriate crush on a school friend of hers."
"So? Everyone has crushes. I used to like Scoops right up until I finally realized what a goof he is. Toby has one on me that seriously creeps me out, but that's not something anyone can help."
"True, but Violet has a crush on another girl. Personally I feel that any crush as such a young age is inappropriate, but she was about to tell her best friend Becky Botsford that she's in love with her."
"Really?" Word Girl said blushing. "Huh… who knew? But is that really to go all vigilante on her?"
"It's disgusting," Miss Appropriate said. "I even tried to help the poor girl, but the school psychiatrist and even her own mother…" She motioned to two other tubes. "… actually encouraged her to follow her heart. So I took the appropriate action to stop it and locked the disgusting little freak away where she can't do any harm." She was snarling now. "It's always the same in every town. I clean out the villains and then find I can hear hundreds… thousands… of other people with darkness in their hearts. Oh maybe they never do anything about it, but they think about it. They sin in their hearts and need to be punished. What better way than to use their wicked brain power to help me stop it?"
Word Girl was appalled. "You can't…" She was interrupted by a blast of lightning from Miss Appropriate's ruler and thrown against the wall of the volcano. "Ah!"
"You're thinking inappropriate thoughts Word Girl. Letting these men out, trying to stop me… oh and of perhaps developing a crush on Violet yourself? Naughty! A superhero shouldn't think such horrible things. It might influence children and make them think such a disgusting thing is allowable."
"You can't control what people feel," Word Girl snapped. "Everyone thinks or does things that someone else might not like or might not be good for them. You can't punish someone for that unless they actually do something to hurt someone."
"I disagree." Another bolt pushed Word Girl into the wall further. "Encouraging someone… especially a child… to have let alone express such feelings for someone inappropriate. Just because they think they're in love doesn't make it right. As if someone like that is really capable of romantic love. It's sick! Her mother should have taken her to a psychiatrist to fix her. Letting people go about their lives as they contemplate doing bad things isn't right. Letting villains walk the street because they haven't actually done anything yet…" With each pronouncement she took another shot. "Someone needs to fix things and if nobody else will it will be me!"
"Did your mother 'fix' you?" Word Girl asked. She tried to fly away, or even push through the wall of the volcano, but Miss Appropriate knew every time she was going to move and fired again. After what Word Girl said she was in a rage and had turned up her ruler to full power.
"When I have you in my machines along with all these villains, I'll have the power to do it. and the more people I capture the more powerful I will become until I can make sure everyone in the word thinks only appropriate thoughts." She laughed and it sent chills down Word Girl's spine worse than any other villain she had ever faced.
Gasping, she said. "There's one thing you didn't count on… Miss Appropriate."
"And what's that dear?"
"My sidekick doesn't think, he just acts."
"What—?" She was cut off as Captain Huggyface landed on her from behind and pulled her habit down over her head. "Ah! Get off me you filthy animal!"
Huggyface laughed and slapped the ruler out of her hand. Then he made an uh-oh sound as the glow around Miss Appropriate faded. She hung there for a second and them began to plummet. Luckily she landed right in one of the tubes. Huggyface jumped out as she pulled her headgear back up.
"You little monster. I'm going to—!" Huggyface slammed the lid shut and it sealed automatically.
Once he was sure she was not getting out he hurried over to where Word girl was getting out of the wall and helped her out. "Thanks. Wow she packed quite a punch." Shaking gravel off Word girl looked around. "I guess we'd better figure some way to get everyone back home…"
Back at the city Becky was talking to Bob. "I have to admit, I was tempted to leave Miss Appropriate and the other villains back there. Still it wouldn't have been right." She snapped her fingers. "Oh yeah, Miss A never showed up for class but I found our regular teacher on her island and she's back! Isn't that great?"
Before he could answer Mrs. Botsford stuck her head into the room. "Becky, Violet's on the phone. She wants to know if you want to meet her in the park for a picnic. She has something important she wants to talk to you about."
Becky felt like she had butterflies in her stomach, but when she thought about it she really did care for Violet. She might not be ready for much, but she also wasn't sure she felt like completely dismissing the idea either. Best friend or girlfriend… either way Becky was up to discussing it. "Tell her I'm looking forward to it."
In the prison cafeteria Miss Appropriate walked among the villains and took a seat. Already she was plotting her revenge. Oh villains weren't the problem. They were a symptom of an inappropriately permissive society. A society that allowed too much free will in things like faith, love, and free will. Not hurting anyone else was not the same as right and she'd show them. When she got out she wouldn't be going after the villains anymore, but the foolhardy supervillains who allowed them to flourish like weeds.
Rope guy reached out to snag a hotdog from her tray and she hit his knuckles with a spoon, making him jerk back. "Don't even think about it."
From behind a podium a talk show host said, "Hi, I'm Bo Handsome and this is…"
"May I have a word!" The audience yelled.
"Yes you may. Today our contestants have the chance to win even greater prizes than ever before. Contestants, are you ready?"
"I guess so…"
"I am Mr. Handsome."
"Alright then. Today you'll define the word captive. I'd show you a clip from Word Girl to help out, but this is a fan fic and not a TV show so we don't have any." A buzzer sounded. "Yes Emily?"
"Captive means to be held against your will. Like in the fic when Miss Appropriate trapped everyone inside those tubes."
"You are correct. Huggy, show Emily what she's won!" A curtain opened. "It's a word Girl official cry for help banner. Let's all read it together."
As one the contestants and audience read, "Help, I'm being held captive and forced to host a game show every day by evil robots…" Suddenly a laser beam shot out and set it on fire. Bo gulped.
Emily smiled. She and the other two contestants as well as the audience all had glowing red eyes. So did Captain Huggyface. "It seems Mr. Handsome hasn't learned his lesson." The curtains closed on the stage. There was the sounds of a scuffle and a scream and electricity. The curtains opened again and Bo was crying.
Between sobs he said, "We… we'll see you all next time… and the time after that… and the time after that… forever… on…"
The audience, back to normal now, said happily, "May I have a word!"
Word Girl: Sick Days
It was a beautiful day in the city, but unfortunately not everyone was able to enjoy it. Because in the local hospital Becky Botsford was visiting Violet as she recovered from having her tonsils out.
"Thank you for brining me icecream Becky," Violet whispered as she held the strawberry cone in her hands. "I'm afraid I won't be able to talk as loudly as normal until my throat heals."
Becky giggled, but hid it with a cough. "I'm sorry to hear that Violet. I'll just try to adjust. Is there anything else you need?"
"No, I'm fine. I am just happy you came to see me." She leaned over and gave Becky a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you. I love you Becky."
"I love you too." Becky smiled and reached out to touch Violet's cheek. "You just get well soon okay?" Violet nodded and started eating her icecream cone.
Out in the waiting room Becky's family looked up as she arrived. Her mother asked, "Is Violet doing okay?"
"She's fine, but her throat's still a little sore. Her mom has been keeping her pretty comfortable."
"Well it's nice of you to make sure she's okay."
"And thanks for not making us go in with you," TJ said. "It's icky when you two get all lovey-dovey."
Becky blushed happily. "Well I think it's icky when you drool over Word Girl." On all kinds of levels, she added mentally.
"Hey! Word Girl happens to be awesome!"
"Well I can't disput that, but Violet is really cool too."
Mr. Botsford said, "Alright you two, let's head for home and…" He stopped coughing into his hand. "Sorry, I seem to have a little tickle in the back of my…" He coughed again.
Mrs. Botsford said, "Oh my honey, that doesn't sound good. While we're here we should get you looked at."
"Oh we don't need to do that, I'm sure I…" He coughed again.
"Come on sweetie…" She paused, looking at the front desk. There was a long line of people, looking ill in various ways stretching out the door and down the street. "This could take a while. Do you kids think you can make it home without us?"
"Oh man you mean we have to walk home?" TJ asked.
"Sure mom," Becky said. "It's not too far away. Come on TJ."
"Aw," he moaned but followed her.
Meanwhile at Dr. Two-brains evil lair an sickening plot is brewing.
Henchman 1 (because the author doesn't know if they even named these guys in the show) asked, "So Doc, why did you invent this new ray?"
"Yeah," Henchman 2 said. "It doesn't even turn anything into cheese."
"Well boys the thing is that this evil villain gig takes a lot of money. Cheese doesn't grow in trees you know."
"We know boss. You tried to make a cheese tree before."
"And you two aren't exactly cheap to keep." The henchmen nodded. "Plus Word Girl stops us from stealing anything. That's why despite everything I need to earn some money. That's why I invented my sickening ray, which will make every adult in town display flu-like symptoms that the doctors will be unable to cure. But when they come to me at my new office my 'herbal cures' will miraculously cure them all. Now turn on the cameras while I film our commercial."
'Why just the adults? Why not make the kids sick too?"
Dr Two-brains frowned. "Cheese and crackers, that's a horrible idea. I may be an evil villain but there's a limit."
"Okay. Now lights, camera, action!"
Becky, Bob, and TJ sat on the couch waiting for their parents. The television was turned on, but all they got was snow.
"Becky, what do you think is wrong with the TV?"
"I don't know TJ. I checked it and everything is hooked up." Becky frowned. "Mom and dad should have called to check up on us by now. I hope they're alright."
"I'm sure they're fine. You saw that line. They'll be busy for— hey the TV is on!"
A commercial came on the screen. On the screen was a suspiciously familiar man with white hair, pink eyes, a big fake black moustache, and two cowboy hats. A big one on his head and a smaller one off to the side. "Hello, I'm Doctor… uh… Two-hats. I'm opening up a new herbal remedy store in town. Do you feel rundown? Exhausted? Do you have… I don't know… strange flu-like symptoms that the doctors can't seem to help? Well then come on down to Dr. Two-hat's Herbal Remedy shop and buy some of our absurdly high priced remedies for whatever ails you."
The TV went dead again, ntohing but snow on the screen. Becky frowned at Bob, "Well that was a little weird…" He squeaked. "True, but I don't know why the stations are all out so what can I do about it?"
The phone suddenly rang. TJ jumped up and said, "I got it!" He picked up the phone. "Yes? Uh huh… uh huh… okay.. sure… okay." He hung up.
"Well?" Becky said.
"Who was on the phone TJ?" She said through gritted teeth.
"Oh that was mom. She says she and dad aren't feeling well and the hospital's full and the doctors said they couldn't help so they're going to try that Dr. Two-hat guy on trying him. But there's a big line and all our babysitters are out sick."
"All of them?" Becky said.
Suddenly outside a man ran by. "Help! Everyone over the age of eighteen in town is sick! Help!" He paused. "Wait… this isn't the hospital is it? Man I must be sicker than I thought. Help!" He turned and ran off.
"Oh… um, okay."
"She also said you were supposed to use some spare cash from her room to buy dinner and I was to play quietly until they got back."
Becky nodded. "Okay I guess that's what we'll do then. I guess I'll get some food from…"
"Humungo-Burger!" TJ said quickly.
Becky held up her hands. "We'll see. If everyone is so sick maybe nobody is working at Humungo-burger." Becky looked outside. "There aren't even any cars on the road." She stretched her super hearing and listened. All she could hear was people at the hospital and gathering at the other end of town to buy herbal remedies.
"Look, if you can promise to sit here and watch some movies while I'm gone I'll go see who is open. You won't do anything inappropriate?"
"Okay, I promise," TJ said immediately. "I'll be totally appropriate."
Becky eyed him. "You won't try to cook yourself? Because you almost…"
"jeez Becky, a guy almost blows up the house making grilled cheese one time and you never let him forget it. That was such a long time ago."
"It was last month."
"See? I can't believe you're still on that. Look, the DVD player is right there and we have lots of movies. I'm sure I can handle it for the short time you're gone."
Becky frowned but said, "Okay… come on Bob." She and her monkey walked out the door.
When he was sure she was gone TJ looked around with shifty eyes and then immediately got off the couch and went to the freezer in the kitchen. He opened the top door and peered in, his eyes lighting with greed as he saw the icecream containers. "Hello ice-cream dinner!"
Captain Huggyface squeaked as they flew over the city. "I know we're supposed to be out and back, but don't you find it a little weird that all of the grownups are struck with some kind of illness at the same time?" He ooked. "No, I don't think it's food poisoning."
She saw a lot of people down below. "Hey, isn't that Dr. Two-brain's lair?" Only instead of his usual sign it said Dr. Two-hats' Herbal Remedies.
"Yes, I find it suspicious." They flew down.
Inside two men, also in huge fake beards. One was selling things to demanding and ill-looking customers. One held up a catalogue of health food. "Hey boss look at this. It says here they've got a new cheese substitute made from soy-beans that…"
"Are you serious? Do I look like these midnless fools? Health food is nothing but a scam. I mean look at this… nine dollars for oatmeal? And I thought I was a crook…"
"Ah ha!" Word Girl said, flying into the room. "Dr. Two-brains, you're behind this epidemic!"
"Word Girl! I… I mean, Dr. Two-brains? Neve heard of him. I'm Dr. Two-hats…"
"What's an epi… epi…"
"Epidemic.' Word Girl said. "It's when a disease spreads through a whole community."
His other minion came into the room. "Hey Doc, we're sold out. Either we're going to need more onion powder and sage out here or you're going to have to turn off that sick-ray of yours so these customers will… oh… um… hey Word Girl."
Dr. Two-brains slapped his forhead making his hats and fake moustache fall off. "It is so hard to find good help."
"Doctor Two-brains, I'm ashamed of you. Selling placebos to people you made sick…"
"What's a… plakeebo?"
"A placebo," Dr. Two-brains said. "it means fake medicine that makes people just think thye're getting better." He turned and threw a plastic container at Word Girl. "like this onion powder!"
"Wait, what?" Word Girl asked as it hit the wall above her and popped open. Huggyface jumped aside as she looked up. "Ah! My eyes… my nose… my mouth! Blech!" She landed on the floor, rubbing her face. "I can't see!"
"Get her guys!" Dr. Two-brains shouted. The henchmen moved forward to grab her.
Captain Huggyface shrieked and jumped at them making them duck. He landed on some equipment and shrieked again, preparing to leap as Dr. two-brains shouted, "No! get off of that!" Huggyface looked down. There were words written on the side of the humming machine. "Sick-Ray". He squeaked happily and began pushing buttons. As it began overloading Dr. Two-brains sighed. "I have got to stop labeling my rays…" There was a huge explosion that blew everyone off their feet.
Word Girl stood up, helping Huggy to his feet. "Good work Captain Huggyface. That explosion blew the onion powder right off my face!"
Customers peered inside. "What's going on in here?"
"Dr. Two-brains was pretending to be Dr. Two-hats to trick all of you out of your money. He was also the one making you all sick and… hey, aren't you the head doctor at the hospital? What are you doing here?"
The doctor looked around nervously. "Well I um… was just… stealing our money you say! How dare he!" The crowd turned ugly and began snatching back their money.
"Oh great, well there goes that plan," Dr. Two-brains said.
"Don't worry, where you're going you won't need money." In a flash she picked them up and deposited them in the prison. As they flew away Captain Huggyface ooked a question. "Oh no, you're right. I still need to get dinner… and how will I explain why I smell like onions?"
Becky arrived home with the bags of food just as her parents drove up. "Mom and dad! You're home."
"It's the strangest thing. We were just getting to the front of the line at that herbal rememdy shop when we suddenly started feeling better," Mr. Botsford said.
Mrs. Botsford asked, "What did you get for dinner?"
"Well it turned out that Humungo-burger was being run by a bunch of teenagers, not grown ups so they were still open."
"Mmm, smells good," Mr. Botsford said. "Do I smell extra onions?"
"Yes, plus onion rings. I just felt like I was in the mood." Bob squeaked. "And Bon wanted some too."
"Well I know I am starving. Let's go in and eat," he said.
They opened the front door. All of them gasped as they looked inside. Mrs. Botsford said, "TJ!"
TJ lay on the floor, his belly swollen and melted icecream all around his mouth. He moaned, rubbing his stomach. "Ooo… I feel sick."
His mother sighed. "TJ I'm very disappointed in you. Eating icecream when you're home alone is not appropriate behavior young man." TJ just groaned.
Becky waved the paper bag over TJ's face. "Are you sure you're not hungry TJ?"
TJ turned green and his cheeks swelled. Bob gave a monkey laugh.
"Becky, don't tease your brother." She clapped her hands. "Okay, everyone to the hospital. Looks like we need to get TJ's stomach pumped."
"Great, while you're doing that I'll swing by Violet's room and give her TJ's milkshake." Bon eeked. "Yes Bob, you can have his burger." He did a little flip and clapped happily.
Well that's all for today. Join us next time for another fic of everyone's favorite superhero… Word Girl!
"Hi I'm Bo Handsome and this is the Bo-nus round!" Bo said. "Emily in the last round you defined capture. Since once again this is a fan fic not a TV show we can't show you pictures, so which scene in the last story defines the word 'capture'?"
"That's easy Mr. Handsome. It was when Word Girl captured Dr. Two-hats… I mean Two-brains and took him to prison."
"You are correct Emily. Let's see what you've won." The curtains parted. "It's a giant hamster cage… what's that for?" Suddenly everyone's eyes glowed red and they pointed. "Oh…" Bo lowered his head and walked into the cage. Once inside the robot Captain Huggyface locked it tight. "Well that's all for today. I'm Bo Handsome and I'll be here next time…" He sighed. "…on…"
"May I have a word?" The audience said.
Stay tuned for a special episodes of "The Cat in the Hat Knows a lot about That" in which the Cat explains to Nick and Sally why their mothers moved into togather and why they are now brother and sister!
Cat: (looking nervous) These questions you ask are hard to explain, though I suppose we should or you'll just ask again. So we'll go on a trip, one I know you will like, to the Freedom Springs artists colony, where they can explain what it means to be a… special kind of parent.
Nick and Sally: Moms! Can we go with the Cat to an artist colony in the Freedom Springs National Park to learn about…
Both Moms: Yes! Go! We could use some alone time!
Nick and Sally: We can go! We can go!
Cat: I know, I know! To the thing-a-ma-jigger!
Fish: (pops out of his bowl. Sniffs his fin-pit) Is that me?
These and other shows are brought to you by story donations by disturbed individuals… just like you!
I wrote a Word Girl fic before with mixed replies about it. Some people liked it and begged for more, others thought I deserved to go to hell, and some were split. Possibly because I made some tasteless jokes involving some of the other PBS shows, which I agree, I could have done without. I guess you can only imply so much in a semi-inappropriate but semi-funny way about shows that largely star animals and I went a little low brow.
The other complaint I got as well as the thing people most liked was hooking up Becky and Violet. It's funny that there are not that many Becky-Word Girl fics since in most of the episodes where Violet plays an important part she and Becky spend time together, dress up, give each other gifts, and do the damsel in distress thing… and everyone knows the damsel falls in love with the hero (or heroine) who saves her on a regular basis. Violet is basically Word Girl's Lois Lane.
Now the real complaint aside from the whole girl-girl romance thing is that they're ten. Well first off girls can and do have crushes on other girls at all ages. In the Diary of Anne Frank she mentions that she had feelings like that for some of her friends. Pretending otherwise is just society needlessly torturing people for perfectly natural feelings that they have and making them feel bad for it. If you want to bring religion into it keep and mind that Adam and Eve used to be the same person. Society wise even the scouts allow gay members… though I think I'll avoid "Brownie eating" jokes… this time.
As for the romance among elementary students thing, there are several episodes of Word Girl in which the kids have crushes on each other and we're not talking about sex. Becky likes Scoops, Toby likes Word Girl, TJ likes Word Girl… which is just freaky since she's also his adopted sister…, Huggyface has strong and almost creepy feelings for food, Scoops likes Violet and as far as I can tell especially in episodes like the one with the unicorn broach or the Valentines Day episode Violet likes Becky and either has no clue Scoops likes her or is intentionally ignoring him. Unless you plan to also complain about those other crushes you have no valid reason for complaining about the Violet-Becky thing and are just as crazy as that lady who tried to expel kindergartners a few years ago when one kissed the other on the cheek. Either they're cartoon characters or they're kids and in either case the horrible things you're thinking of A: aren't on their mind and B: are most likely physically impossible.
Remember to review this fic so I know what you thought and can do better next time.