Pie: *sweating bullets*
Omake: Zoo 'Date'
After a fourth child disappeared in a zoo in the Sumida Ward, Unit 1 took on the case. They arrived at the Morishita "Rubeus Park" on a clear Saturday morning, it was already crowded with pools of small children and their parents.
Sasayama sighed at the sight of the snaking queue. "Today's going to be a pain. There's way too many people."
"It's a Saturday, afterall," Masaoka said lightly. "I'm sure a lot of parents thought it'd be a nice day out to be with their kid."
Behind him, their bespectacled Inspector let out a loud, sharp cough, catching the attention of the rest of his team. "We have a lot of ground to cover so we'll move in pairs. Kunizuka will come with me. Masaoka with Inspector Tsunemori. Kagari and Sasayama."
They then went to talk to the zookeeper, a giant of a man with thick black bushy hair and beard who gladly shook hands and welcomed them inside. Whilst the two Inspectors asked a few brief questions, Masaoka gathered Kagari and Kunizuka under each arm and pulled them away from an unsuspecting Sasayama.
Kagari raised his eyebrows. "What's up, tottsan?"
"How about I owe you two a favour, eh?" Masaoka whispered, a large grin wrinkling his face.
Instantly, Kunizuka was suspicious. "What are you planning?"
"Oh, nothing criminal, I assure you," he chuckled. "I was thinking of ditching work today and see if I can set up Nobu with our lovely ojou-chan."
"Like... on a date?" Kagari piped up.
"Just like a date."
Kunizuka's eyes flitted towards Sasayama, he however was busy staring at a glass tank containing a hairy spider. "What about Sasayama? I don't think he'd agree to this."
"Well, I was hoping Kagari will wrack his brains for a distraction," Masaoka replied smoothly. "In fact, you can just pretend to be working on the case."
"That kinda sounds boring. Can't I just shove him in some animal hatch and ditch work too?" he exasperated.
Masaoka chuckled. "Whatever works."
"What about the case though, I'd hate to work overtime all because we didn't collect any clues today," Kunizuka muttered.
She was responded with a pat on her shoulder. "Oh, you won't be overworking into any of your 'appointments' at the lab, I promise you. To be honest, we didn't really need to be here. I already have this case wrapped up."
"Sly old man," Kagari laughed. "Yosha! Time to shove Yama-san inside a cage!"
He zoomed over to Sasayama and poked him with an elbow. They began talking casually as they entered a forest-themed area with tanks of mammals hidden behind leaves and branches aligned each side of them.
Masaoka then turned to grin at Kunizuka.
"I get it," she brushed past him and towards the direction of their Inspectors. "I shake Inspector Ginoza off and lead him to Tsunemori. Where are we meeting?"
"Arctic animals," Masaoka replied, nodding at a large poster featuring polar bears next to him. "I owe you, Kunizuka!"
The two Inspectors oblivious to what plan had just been hatched by the rest of their unit, naiively followed their partnering Enforcer deeper into the zoo.
As Masaoka left, he felt his eyes lingering at the direction Kagari and Sasayama just left.
"...that boy was kidding about shoving Sasayama inside a cage, right?"
Stealing a keycard from one of the zookeepers was no problem for Kagari. He and Sasayama paused in front of a monkey cage. His co-worker focused on the scramble amongst the male monkeys in the cage, whilst Kagari was focusing on the electronic lock for the latch.
After a few minutes, they moved on a little and to a bear cage. It still had the same lock as the monkey cage. After spending another minute studying it, he decided it only needed the keycard, a physical yank at the latch and then it was open.
Kagari resisted the urge to grin.
"Hey, Yama-san. I think we're regrouping with Akane-chan," he abruptly said.
Sasayama innocently craned his neck over his shoulder to search for his favourite Inspector. "Hm, I don't see her."
In those short five seconds, Kagari lurched for the latch, slammed the keycard on the scanner and yanked it open. He then grabbed a fistful of Sasayama's jacket and shoved him through.
In any other situation, this wouldn't have worked, but Sasayama was not prepared, so he was quickly tipped off-balanced and was rolling into a container of dirt and trees before he even realized this was all Kagari's fault.
He groaned and wiped debris out of his eyes.
"Damn it, Kagari! What was that for?!"
He blinked the dust away and noticed there was something odd about the distance between him and his fellow latent criminal. Also, a lot of people were staring and pointing at him.
He took one step closer but was stopped by some sort of barrier. It looked like a cage. He slowly turned his head to the right and saw a bundle of black fur stirring.
"Kagari..." he growled.
But the orange-haired Enforcer broke into a run.
"OI, KAGARI! GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!"
The bear's eyes snapped open.
It was at times like these Ginoza cursed himself for not spending enough time in the exercise halls. When Kunizuka broke out into a full-on run, he lost her in half a minute. Breathing ragged, he staggered towards the gate he believed he saw her disappear into.
"Damn you, Kunizuka," he gasped. "At least answer your Communicator!"
He staggered inside, leaning a hand against a container of arctic terns. They ruffled their feathers and pecked at the glass. He ignored them.
When he turned the next corner he was surprised to find Tsunemori almost crashing into him.
"Ginoza-san!" she spluttered. "Um, I'm sorry, have you seen Masaoka-san around? I think I've lost him."
"No. Something similar happened to me too. Kunizuka ran off without me," he muttered darkly.
She tried to smooth down her hair which got a little fluffy from all the running. "Do you think they both were trying to catch the same criminal?"
"They would've contacted us by now if that was the case," Ginoza pointed out. "I guess we should look for them together."
He was responded with a smile and an appreciative nod. They then began walking side-by-side, and it was only a minute later Ginoza realized he was walking with Tsunemori alone in a zoo. Taken out of context, it sounded like a da-
"Look, Ginoza-san! They're feeding the polar bears!" Tsunemori pointed eagerly.
Ginoza tried to push that Word away- but it stayed there glowing in his mind. It illuminated two different paths in which he could take:
A- take Tsunemori to the polar bear display- whilst it would definitely make her happy (which in turn would make him a bit... happy too) it means they're wasting time when they're on the job
B- continue with searching for the Enforcers- that would be the more logical choice to make but...
He swallowed his breath.
"Ginoza-san, you look a bit tense," Tsunemori said softly. "Do you need to sit down?"
"I-I'm fine, Tsunemori. Let's... keep looking for the Enforcers."
Hiding behind the display of arctic foxes, Masaoka clamped a hand over his eyes.
"Oh, Nobu," he sighed, clearly disappointed with his son's choice.
"It was worth the shot," Kunizuka tried to say in comfort. "I wonder how Kagari and Sasayama are doing?"
She was answered with an arm being looped around her neck.
"Someone called?" Kagari said breathlessly. "Man, I sure ran for it. You guys should've seen Yama-san's face."
Masaoka turned his attention away from the Inspectors. "Did you...?"
"I sure did!"
Their suspicions were confirmed when they saw a zookeeper run up to the Inspectors stammering about a man appearing in the bear exhibit.
Ginoza was frozen stiff. He then stabbed the emergency call option on his Communicator and roared, "ALL YOU LATENT CRIMINALS MEET ME AT THE BEAR EXHIBIT."
The terrifying thing, though, was the fact that Tsunemori's head had turned so that she was facing right where they were hiding.
A child squinted at the display board in front of the bear display.
"The Asian black bear otherwise known as the moon bear or the white-chested bear is a medi... medierm..." she struggled.
Inside the display, Sasayama scrambled along one side, ducking under sharp branches. "Forget that part! Is it dangerous?! Read faster, kid!"
The child exasperated but resumed squinting at the display. "Herbivore..." she said slowly. "Um, Rudyard Kipling says they're bizarre... and stuff, um, can attack people without provoko...?"
"What did you say, Mister?"
"I said that I'm fucked!"
The child's mother gasped, hearing him, and snatched her child from the exhibit, hands clamping over the child's ears as she glared fiercely at Sasayama, who was frankly too busy running for his life to care.
The child whined at the loss of opportunity to pick up adult vocabulary.
The rest of the spectators were then pushed away from a line of Comisa mascots, who ushered them to look at the rest of the displays in their sugary voices.
Tsunemori and Ginoza pushed through the crowd and towards the cage where Sasayama was still trying to maintain a safe distance away from the lumbering bear.
"Sasayama-san!" Tsunemori breathed out. "We're getting you out!"
As much as he wanted to, Sasayama had to keep his eyes glued to the black bear, which was still trying to decide whether or not to maul the human.
"While you're at it, tell Kagari I'll see him in hell!" he spat.
Ginoza glared at the aforementioned Enforcer who was avoiding making eye contact with his Inspectors and whistling as casually as possible.
"Kagari..." he hissed.
While Ginoza distracted himself with proceeding to lecture Kagari's ears off, Tsunemori had wisely gotten the keycard from the zookeeper and slipped into the exhibit area, rushing over to Sasayama. "Over here!"
Another set of black eyes opened, and a second bear grumbled loudly at the intruders to its domain, poking its head from a clump of bushes.
Sasayama swore loudly, and Tsunemori bit the inside of her cheek.
"Run for the hatch would be my advice. Panic and you'll die," she managed, whipping out a hand to grab Sasayama's collar to forcibly drag him and activate his legs once again.
They squeezed through the open latch and the zookeeper slammed it shut behind them, seconds before the bear had threw itself at it.
Sasayama took some time to get his breath before before staggering to his feet so he could aim a punch at Kagari's jaw. Tsunemori caught it and tried to calm him down before he started a violent scene in public. Kunizuka marched over to help. Ginoza was still lecturing. Kagari was bored.
At the edge of the group, Masaoka had heaved his shoulders in defeat.
"So much for a date," he lamented.
Kagari on the other hand had his own reasons to be let down.
"Why hasn't anyone made a dinosaur zoo yet?" he mumbled under his breath as Ginoza's lecture blanked out of his head.
Wrath: I mean like, on one hand we're both still alive, on the other hand, season 2 killed all my love for the show and Pie got swamped with real life things. I found this when going through my old files.
Will this be continued? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it's been three years it's questionable.