Rainbow Dash stared, mouth agape, at the body lying on her kitchen floor and fell back onto her haunches. As she tried to comprehend that there was a dead pony in her kitchen, some idle part of her mind noted that she was no longer hungry. In fact, she felt a little bit sick.

Okay, a lot sick.

She bent over and retched over the floor, producing only a few scattered specks of bile. She repeated this twice, although neither bile or vomit came forth—a testament, much like the body lying in a puddle of blood barely ten feet away from her, to the copious amounts of alcohol she had imbibed the night before.

Several seconds later, the realization hit her, really hit her, in the delayed way that massive and life-changing events tended to do: she had killed somepony, and while Dash was by no means the smartest pony in Equestria, she knew that it was way, way bigger than breaking into a hospital to finish reading a book. It was... was... she didn't even have words to describe how much bigger (although if she'd been Twilight Sparkle, the phrase "orders of magnitude" would have come to mind).

She had to do... something. Anything. Anything at all, it didn't matter what, but she needed to make this go away, and fast. A rough plan began to form in her head. Get rid of the body, that was the important thing, the body had to not be in her house anymore, whatever happened after that would be okay because there would be no more body in her house.

The pegasus stood back up, recovered from her nausea—mostly, there was still the faint urge to throw up but it was barely noticeable—and stepped slowly into the kitchen, approaching the body. She wasn't scared, at all. Nuh-uh. Only foals were scared of silly things like dead mares in the kitchen.

She reached a hoof out towards the corpse to drag it outside, but couldn't bring herself to touch it and pulled her hoof back. It rested in the air for a moment, raised, before again extending, and again being withdrawn before it could find its mark.

Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and inhaled, deeply, and then her hoof shot out and touched the charcoal mare on the shoulder. She shuddered as her brain registered how the corpse felt underneath the fur—cold and clammy and not at all pleasant. Removing her hoof from the body, she took a step that brought her to the mare's head rather than her side. Squeezing her eyes shut and taking deep, ragged breaths, she began dragging the dead pony, first under the refrigerator and then through the doorway that connected the kitchen and the largely-unused dining room. The body did not seem to want to move at first, and she realized that the pool of blood had become sticky overnight. It left a dark, tacky trail on what had once been a slick white tile floor.

Rainbow Dash dragged the body through one room, two hallways, and down another stairway on the way to her front door, by which point enough of her reason had come back online for her to realize she had put absolutely no thought into her plan. She had no idea where she could take the body, and even if she did she couldn't go dragging it around in the middle of the day, and even if she could somehow do that she had no idea what to do with it once she got there. She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the panic that was still growing inside her, and sat down to try and think of solutions.


She wasn't exactly sure when she'd left her house and started flying, or when she'd landed in Ponyville, just that she hadn't been able to think around the body. She had tried going into another room and pretending that it just wasn't real, that the situations she was thinking of were only hypo-watcha-ma-callits, but she just couldn't do it, couldn't make herself believe that it was just a game or something, and she needed to exercise if she wanted to think. So after hastily dragging a few tufts of cloud over the deceased pony in her front door in case anybody came by, she started flying as fast and as long as she could, not paying attention to where she was going or how long she was flying, but eventually she had had to land. So she did, and she walked, and she was so busy trying to figure a way out of her problem that she had been walking through the busy streets of Ponyville on a Sunday for ten minutes without realizing it. When she had, her first thought was something along the lines of, Run run run they know you did it how could they not get out while you still can you idiot. This prompted a frenzied attempt at flight, which her wings seemed to find offensive for some reason because they refused to do anything. She had just begun to turn tail and run for it when it occurred to her that—

Maybe I can ask one of my friends for help.

Almost immediately she dismissed the idea. She was Rainbow Dash, the coolest, fastest pony in Equestria, only pegasus in living memory to do a Sonic Rainboom, future Wonderbolt, and—

Completely and totally beyond anything you have ever even thought of dealing with.

She flicked her ear in annoyance and went to war with the reasonable part of her brain, logic and pride duking it out in a battle royale that ended in a rare compromise: she would find Twilight and have her cast some sort of spell that would let her remember what happened the night before (and maybe get rid of her hangover, she amended as the market lay siege to her ears). However, she would not—not!—tell her about what exactly she wanted to remember. Twilight may have been a great friend, but she knew as well as any other that really big, really important stuff could splinter friendships.

Which was how she found herself trotting through the Ponyville market on a Sunday... morning? Afternoon? She only just realized that she hadn't yet bothered to check the time, although at the moment she didn't particularly care. She was preoccupied by trying to not like she had a dead pony stuffed in her floor and simultaneously looking wildly around at everypony, convinced that somewhere in the crowd that wouldn't stop jostling her, someone was telling some guard that they had somehow seen her doing it, and that in a minute one would come up to her and say—

"Howdy, Dash! How're y'all doin' today?"

"Gah!" the pegasus shouted, jumping nearly five feet into the air, followed by an "Oof!" as she hit the ground a moment later.

Applejack leaned over the Sweet Apple Acres market stand and snorted in a kind of suppressed laughter. "Ya alright there, sugarcube?" she drawled as she leaned down even further and offered a hoof to the pegasus. "Didn't mean to scare ya none."

Rainbow Dash accepted the proffered hoof wordlessly, not looking at her friend. "Bit jumpy there, huh, RD?" she joked. When the pegasus didn't seem to notice her teasing, she took a close look, and saw that Dash's ears were flattened against her head, which in turn was darting to and fro, not focusing on anything for more than a second. She looked like she was running from somepony, and it hadn't helped how quickly she'd been moving through the crowd. "Dash?" she said, concerned for her friend. When no response was forthcoming, she tried again. "Dash!" she said, somewhat louder, thinking that maybe the other pony hadn't heard her over the crowd. She was proven wrong when the pegasus turned to leave, still glancing over her shoulder every second or so.

"Rainbow Dash!"

The addressed pony started.

Beat.

"Ididn'tdoanythinglastnightIdon'tknowwhatyou'retal kingaboutyoucan'tproveanything!"

Applejack recoiled for a second, surprised, and said, "Hold on a sec, Dash, what're ya—" and realized it was pointless, since the pony had somehow already shoved through the crowd and escaped her sight.

Part of her wanted to go after the mare, and she was just about to, when one of the "Flower Girls" (the one with a rose for a cutie mark, she could never remember their names), as they were referred to around town, approached her stand and started on about who was having the illegitimate foals of whoever. She tried to interject several times but was unable to find an opening. She sighed and settled in for forty minutes of inane blather she didn't give half a damn about, and resolved to speak to Rainbow Dash later. As the rose pony babbled about this and that and whatever, though, only one thought went through Applejack's mind.

What the hay's got into that mare?


Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who's read, commented, liked, faved, or even just looked at this on the front page, thought it might be interesting and promptly forgot all about it (even though you're not reading this... jerks). Comments, questions, concerns, suggestions, and death threats are welcome, although I make no guarantee they will be responded to, answered, addressed, inserted, or not be met by a hitman, respectively.

Ceterum censeo EQG esse delendam.