Author's Note: Hello fellow friends! I'm back after some time... I missed it here. So, I was re-watching the original series of Hunter X Hunter and it reminded me of how much I love this work and how much I love this pairing, Killua and Gon. It wasn't that hard to get inspired to finally write a new fanfic. Although this is my first one for this pairing, for sure it isn't going to be the last. So without further ado, please enjoy the fic!
Disclaimer: Hunter X Hunter is not mine.
Starry Sky x Treasure x Goodbye
The sound of the waves could be clearly heard from the seaside inn where Killua and Gon were staying. After spending a few days on the sea, they decided to rest in this island for a day or two. It was a nice idea since they had enough time and the island was such a pleasing place. The silver and the raven haired boys were in a big suite, it was the only free room at the inn, probably because it was too expensive for normal people to pay. There was only one couple bed, but it wasn't a problem, the two of them usually sleep together like this. It was late and everyone but Killua was already sleeping. The silver haired boy wasn't sleepy and was lost in his thoughts. He was thinking about everything that happened since the day he first met Gon; the person that became his most precious treasure. It was a silent night; the only noises were Gon's soft breathing and the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks. While still lost in thought, the silver haired boy carefully turned to his side where he could see the sleeping spike haired figure and unconsciously started to caress the boy's cheeks with the back of his hand, the calm expression of the sleeping boy passed to a happy one. Killua's eyes widened upon seeing that smile and for a moment he even thought that Gon was awake and almost died of embarrassment. After checking twice if he was really asleep, Killua sat on the edge of the bed and sighed just to lie down again a few moments later. No matter how much he tried he couldn't sleep. It was really strange; he himself couldn't describe what he is feeling. It all began on the first time they meet each other, but it was during the days that both of them stayed at Gon's home on Whale Island that the silver haired boy lost all his doubts…
"Killua… I really like being with you."
Those words touched the silver haired boy like no other had before. While looking at the bright eyes of Gon that shone even more thanks to the bonfire, he asked incredulous:
"Why are you saying this to me?"
Gon explained, or at least the silver haired boy thought so, he was listening, but not paying attention, until the only words that were able to touch him again was said:
"You're my first friend."
Killua was overwhelmed. He didn't know what he felt after hearing this, but he knew that this was the first time he felt like this in his entire life.
After coming back from reliving the memories, the silver haired boy was facing his own reflex on the window that led to the veranda. Feeling suffocated on the room, Killua decided to stay out for a while. As soon as he opened the window he was able to feel the pleasing night breeze and the ocean rush. He felt that here he would be able to settle his thoughts. Upon looking to the sky, he was dazzled. The starry sky that his eyes met was simply stunning. Trails of stars illuminated the night sky in a way the silver haired boy has never seen before. Actually he couldn't care for those kinds of things before meeting Gon. He was alive, but he only existed to kill… And if he is now capable of feeling something, it's all thanks to Gon. He turned around as he said in an excited tone:
"Hey Gon! Look at the stars!"
The night breeze that soon followed his words was the only answer he got. Upon realizing that Gon was still sleeping soundly and not by his side, Killua turned his attention to the sky again and sighed deeply as he whispered to himself:
"It's better this way…"
Tears were falling from his eyes as he mumbled to himself:
"I have to go..."
Walking into the room, the silver haired boy looked to the other one and continued:
"I can't be by your side anymore."
Killua's eyes were full of pain and resolution when he said those words. Looking around while looking for some sheets, Killua once again mumbled to himself as he said:
"This is probably the last letter that I'm going to write…"
With that said the silver haired boy sat down and began to write as the night continued to wane.
Sunrays passed through the window which curtains were wide open, illuminating the room. Since the inn had a really great garden it was possible to hear the humming of the birds as well. Gon woke really early as usual and went to the bathroom, after washing his face and brushing his teeth he called out:
"Hey Killua! Didn't you say that we were going to explore this town yesterday? Wake up!"
Only silence hung in the air. The raven haired boy walked into the room while calling again:
Upon noticing that his friend wasn't there, Gon sighed:
"Geez. How could you leave me behind?"
The boy then sat on the bed to wear his boots, but something caught his eye. At the bedside he found a letter which made him really curious and wondering:
"Maybe it was Killua who wrote it?"
The spike haired boy's suspicions were confirmed as soon as he putted his eyes on the envelope.
That's all that was written on the envelope, but Gon could tell it was Killua's handwriting. The raven haired boy had a bad feeling about it, but soon opened to read it. His hands trembled as his eyes flipped through the words.
Hey Gon... To say the true I'm not so sure about how to start, but I will give it a try. I'm sorry for being such a coward… There is so much that I need to say, but the best I could do was to write this letter for you. If you're reading this it means that I'm no longer by your side… You must be confused, but you don't need to worry. You have a dream, a goal. So don't look back, keep going without doubts. Just do like always and follow your heart. I'm sure you will find a way. Me? Don't worry. I'm sure I will be alright. After all, I believe that I can live embraced by the lovely memories of the days that I spent with you…
Gon jumped from the bed and rushed to the streets looking for his friend. He couldn't, he just couldn't go on without him. Fear took over his mind, the fear of losing Killua. Without being able to think clearly he ran through the streets of the small island as he mumbled to himself:
"Please Killua don't go."
After some time the raven haired boy stopped to catch his breath as he rested his arms on his knees. He then remembered that the ships on this island only start to sail after noon. It was still early in the morning so he said to no one:
"Killua is still here for sure!"
He then continued to run while remembering what the letter said.
You know what Gon? I have a lot to thank you for. We have been together for some time now, but it still seems like I meet you yesterday… Time surely flies by. Do you remember when we first met? It was on the Hunter Exam. We have been through a lot since that day. I never dreamed that I would meet someone as wonderful as you. You already know this, but you are the first person that made me feel like a human and not just some assassin monster. I'm really grateful. I would always go to sleep filled with regrets, but even that changed. The first time that I had a good night sleep was on that ship, you know, where we were roommates on the Hunter Exam. And then all that happened… When I returned home after the exam I thought that I would never see you again… But you saved me once more. Thank you Gon… For the days with no regrets. Thank you for treating me just kindly. Thank you for loving me... I shouldn't be saying this, but no matter where I go, you're forever my one and only "home".
The spike haired boy continued his search. He tried to use his nose to find Killua, but even his scent was fading away. His eyes watered as he continued to run aimlessly. No matter to whom he asked, everyone would say that didn't see any boy with silver hair.
"Where are you Killua…?"
It was all that was on his mind.
I don't know if I'm being arrogant and it is strange to ask this after walking away… But please don't forget me. Let me live within you, even if only in the memories that we shared. I know that you can miss your home sometimes, when that happened, you would just hug me to be alright…. So on the hard days, when the weight in your shoulders is just too heavy. Remember me and I will be there with you. I will never forget you…The memories of your smiling face will always warm my heart and I will always treasure them. So until you find someone… To replace me… Allow my memory to overcome your solitude.
Gon frowned remembering this last sentence.
"It's impossible to replace you."
Without even noticing the raven haired boy turned his thoughts into words. Gon wanted to continue his search, but he noticed that just running around won't take him anywhere. He looked at a nearby clock and mumbled:
"I still have three hours before the ships starts to sail. I have to regain my strength."
The raven haired boy was really hungry since he woke so early and didn't eat anything before rushing through the streets. Luckily there was a café nearby, so Gon allowed himself to rest for a moment. He knew that it was pointless to keep running around like this, but he didn't know what to do. Feeling really hopeless, the boy leaned at the table as he let go of a deep sigh. This gesture called the attention of a passerby who putted his hand on the boy's shoulders and asked:
"What's wrong? Aren't you a little too young to be wearing such a serious expression?"
Gon looked at the man and even though he couldn't explain why, he felt that he could be sincere, that he already knew him.
"I'm looking for someone… Someone that's going away from me…"
The sad tone in the boy's voice made it very clear to the man that he really cared about this person.
"And this person is really important to you, right?"
"So important that I can't even put it into words."
Gon replied still kind of sad and once again the man made a question:
"So… I saw you running around and asking about a silver haired boy early, so he is still in this island?"
"Yeah, he is, but I can't seem to find him… And if I don't find him soon, the ships are going to start sailing and then he will be gone forever."
Just the thought of never seeing Killua again, just the word "forever" that he just used, it was too much, although he fought against it, the raven haired boy eyes watered again.
"So… Why are you still losing time here? If you know that the only way of getting out this island is by ship, you should wait for him at the harbor!"
Gon jumped from the chair, feeling a little silly for not thinking about it before; he shakes one of the man's hands with enthusiasm as he said:
"Thank you so much!"
After he paid for the food and rushed to the harbor, the man then waved as he said:
Was the answer from the raven haired boy as he waved back and continued towards the harbor. When he was sure that the boy couldn't listen to him anymore, the man finished the sentence to himself:
Gon couldn't explain how familiar that voice sounded to him, how pleasant it was to exchange some words with that person… If he wasn't totally worried and only concerned about Killua, in any other circumstances, he would for sure recognize that man who happened to be passing by… But now, he isn't going to find him so soon. The raven haired boy continued his way to the harbor. The town that until now was calm and empty now was full of people and movement, but he went his way as he was driven in that sea of people.
You must still be confused. You don't understand why I had to leave your side, right? To be honest, even I don't understand for complete what I'm feeling… But I'm doing this because… I love you. Not just as friend, but as someone who loves you beyond reason, as someone who wished to be one with you… But I know that you can never love me this way… I didn't choose it to be like this; I thought in many ways of how to say this to you, but I didn't know how you would react and I couldn't stand the pain of losing you if I told you the truth, the pain of being despised by you, so I'm leaving for myself…
Gon finally arrived in the harbor and after making sure that no ship has already departed, he looked for a spot where he could wait for Killua without being seen by him. The raven haired boy was really nervous now. He didn't know what to say or do. The only thing he knew for sure was that he didn't want to be away from Killua, that he needs him by his side… That he loves him… The time kept it slowly pace, the one he had for all the ones who are waiting for something as the tension grew on the raven haired boy. In an hour the ships would start to sail. The tickets were already being sold and people were already boarding it. There were so many people that they could almost mess up everything. What would he do if Killua just blended in that crowd? He knew very well how the one he loves could be furtive, add the technique of Zetsu and he is gone forever. Gon tried to focus while thinking on a way to prevent this from happening, but for his surprise, Killua was coming down the street, with no signs of trying to hide himself, he walked slowly with a lowered head and with his hands on his pockets as usual. Gon could tell that he was really gloomy; what kind of gave him courage.
Goodbye Gon… I hope you can fulfill your dream of finding your father… I think that this is it. And I think that you need to tell you this… I know that the two of can never meet again… But I'm really glad that I was able to love you.
The raven haired boy rushed to where the silver haired one was and in a moment they were face to face with each other. Killua flinched and only managed to say his name.
Then he just lowered his head again avoiding eye contact and afraid to say anything. They stood there; a dreadful silence took the surrounding airs until Gon finally said something:
The silver haired boy noticed the letter that was in his beloved's hand and fearing the worst interrupted him as he said:
"You don't have to say anything Gon… Just let me go… Please."
The raven haired one all of sudden just hugged him, tightly. Killua's eyes widened and once again he flinched with this unexpected hug. Gon then said with a shaking voice:
"How can you ask this to me Killua? I can't let you go… I need you by my side."
Killua, who felt tears dropping on his shoulder and how Gon hugged him even more tightly, just embraced him and as much as he was happy, he was really confused now.
"Gon.. But I…"
Gon ignoring the attempt to talk from Killua continued what he had to say:
"All this time we've been together… I was able to give it my all, always; no matter how hard it was, because you were with me. If you weren't there… I… I… Wouldn't be here today."
Killua, who was overwhelmed with happiness after hearing these words, let go of the hug and gently wiped away the remaining tears from Gon's eyes. But still feeling unsure he resisted:
The raven haired boy interrupted him once more, now with his bright smile of always as he said:
"I love you too Killua!"
The silver haired boy trembled as Gon once again embraced him and stated:
"So stay with me, okay? Always!"
"Are you sure about everything you just said to me?"
"Absolutely, when I woke to find that letter and that you were gone. I felt empty, it was awful. I felt like I could die if I didn't find you… And then I realized that I love you too Killua, in the same way, so don't leave me."
Killua then gave in to the happiness he was feeling and embraced him back. Unable to say anything he just called the name of his loved one:
"I don't want anyone else by my side. So let's stay like this and grow together. I'm sure that as the time goes by we will be able to love each other even more."
Gon said it and felt like it was enough for now. Killua then added:
"I'm sure of it as well. So, what do you want to do now?"
Letting go of the hug Gon answered:
"You're hungry aren't you? Let's eat something! We can decide what to do later. Besides, I found a really good place to eat while looking for you. Come on!"
Gon then pulled Killua by his hand, making sure to not let it go. They were there for each other. They had time. They had an entire life just for the two of them and that's all they needed to be sure that everything is going to be alright.