Summary: There's something in the house... Pip doesn't know what it is, but one thing's for certain: It isn't friendly, and it won't leave him alone.

Author's Note: This was inspired by a toilet. Not even lying, bro.
Vladimir: I said it once, and I'll say it again: The shit that inspires your mind.
Me: I know, I'm insane. That's why you all love me, right? Seriously though, toilets can make magic, and here it is. My toilet-induced brain baby.

Disclaimer: I would be honored to own South Park. I'll let you know when that miracle happens.


"I am never doing that again," Pip said with a laugh.

Kenny grinned and hooked his arms around Pip's shoulders. "Come on, it wasn't that bad. It was just a little..." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Paranormal Activity."

Pip squealed and pushed the other blonde's arms away. "It was scary! And you kept making jokes the whole time, and that made it scarier!"

"Awww, little Pip is scared of my amazing sense of humor?" Kenny pouted. "Learn to enjoy the fun of a haunted house!"

Pip rolled his eyes and started pushing Kenny towards the front door. "I'd rather not, thanks. See you tomorrow for lunch?"

Kenny nodded his head. "Sure thing, Pippers. Night-night, don't get possessed by a ghost and kidnap a baby." The mischievous blonde opened the door, stepping out onto the porch.

Pip rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "I'll try. Good night, Kenny."

Kenny grinned, waving, and turned around, beginning his walk home to the slums he lived in.

Pip watched him for a minute, smiling, then closed the door. Kenny really was his greatest friend, no matter how much of a pervert he could be. He'd agreed to watch Paranormal Activity 2 with him because everyone else had been busy, and Kenny hadn't wanted to watch it alone. Though he'd been scared, he didn't exactly mind... He'd been spending a lot of time with Kenny lately, and Pip was always happy when they did things together. He was in a good mood when he around Kenny, and the blond could easily make him smile or laugh. Kenny was Pip's greatest friend.

'Though it's hard to remember why when he's scaring me senseless...' Pip thought.

He shivered, remembering all the scenes where doors closed by themselves, and reached out to lock his front door, then paused. There was something red on his arm. He pulled it back to examine it, seeing that there were three scratch marks on it. 'That's odd...' Pip thought. 'When did these happen?' He reached out his left hand to touch his arm, and froze. His left arm also had three scratch marks on it.

"Six in total..." Pip said. "This is very strange." He locked the front door, turning around and walking across the living room. He suddenly needed to use the bathroom. It was probably all the raspberry tea he drank during the movie. Despite the scare he'd just seen, he smiled, remembering all the British jokes Kenny had made when he said he would be drinking tea. They were made in good sport, so Pip wasn't offended by them. He even laughed at them with Kenny.

Pip opened the door to the bathroom, shutting it behind him. He unbuttoned his pants, unzipping them and pulling himself out of his pants. The water in the toilet was blue, and he looked up at the ceiling as he relieved himself. He hummed slightly, looking back down as he finished, and gasped in shock. Normally, the water would turn green after he peed as a result of blue and yellow mixing, but that wasn't the case this time. The water in the toilet had turned purple. 'But... Blue and RED make purple. How...?' Pip grabbed a square toilet paper and folded it in half, then lightly pressed it to the tip of his manhood. When he pulled it away, there was a circle of red about the size of a penny standing out against the white of the toilet paper. "This doesn't make any sense... I'm not feeling any pain... And this... This can't be blood..." Pip tossed the toilet paper in the toilet bowl and quickly closed the lid, flushing the toilet. He put himself back in his pants, zipping and buttoning them, and leaned against the bathroom door, closing his eyes. He breathed unsteadily, scared by what he had just seen.

"ip... Pip..."

Pip's eyes flew open, looking wildly around him, but didn't see anything. He took a few calming breaths to steady his heart, and shook his head. 'Calm down... You're just imagining it. Scared by the movie, that's all.'

He turned on the water in the sink and put one hand under the soap dispenser. He pulled it away once he had enough and rubbed his hands together, washing his hands under the water. He turned it off after he finished, drying his hands on the nearby towel, and reached out a hand to flick off the lights. Pip screamed, stumbling backwards to the door. A pair of red eyes stared at him through the darkness, bright and glowing. He flicked the light switch back on and looked to the mirror again. The eyes were gone, and Pip breathed a sigh of relief. "This is too much..." Pip said. He turned around and twisted the doorknob, pulling it, but was unable to open it. "What? No... No, open!" Pip shouted. He kept pulling on the doorknob, jiggling it, and trying to force it open. Pip suddenly felt a body press against him from behind, making him gasp in surprise, melding into the curve of his figure.

"You aren't leaving." The person behind him whispered.

Pip screamed again, turning around, and once again saw nothing. He reached behind him and found he was able to open the door, and burst through it, running to his bedroom. He reached the door and opened it, dashing through and locking it. Pip pulled out his phone from his front left pocket and dialed Kenny's number, holding his phone to his ear and walking to his bed.

"Pip?" Kenny's voice came through, slightly calming Pip. "What's up?"

"Kenny," Pip said. "Please come here. Strange things have been happening ever since you left, and I'm scared, and I don't want to be alone."

Kenny laughed. "Oh ha-ha, Pip. Trying to scare me after seeing that movie? You gotta do better than that."

"Kenny please!" Pip cried out. "I'm being serious! You know me, I don't do things like this on purpose!"

The distress in Pip's voice must have reached Kenny, for then next thing he said was "Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Pip breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Kenny. Do you still have your key? I'm in bed, and I'm too scared to leave it."

"Yeah, I have it in my room. Pip, um... Do you want me to sleep with you tonight?"

Pip thought for a few moments. He knew Kenny didn't mean sex, and after what happened, he didn't think he could handle sleeping alone. "Could you do that? It would really make me feel safe."

"Yeah, sure, I'll be right-" The line went dead.


Author's Note: Soooo, what did you think? I hope you liked reading it. I texted this to my email account, which is definitely the most I've texted at once before, because I needed to get this down right away, and had no other option. Started at a little after midnight, finished at a few minutes before five AM. This is the product of watching horror movies until 5:30 AM. Tell me what you think about my latest baby in a review, please! :3