Title: Arms Around Your Love
Fandom: Orphan Black
Summary: The story follows what happened after Cosima revealed she was sick to Delphine and they hugged. The story takes place post-1x10 Endless Forms Most Beautiful.
"Don't," Delphine murmured when Cosima began to pull away from her, making to end the hug she had drawn the brunette into a minute before. "Stay," she whispered.
A rough exhalation of air escaped from Cosima at the sound of her words, and then Cosima was leaning into Delphine again, wrapping her arms around the blonde, and Delphine embraced her tightly, kissing the base of Cosima's neck gently as she drew Cosima against her.
They stayed like that for a long time, clinging to each, until finally Delphine shifted back slightly. She didn't move far however, and she didn't stop touching Cosima. She simply used her hands to guide Cosima down with her as she reclined back on the couch, pulling Cosima down on top of her, into her arms.
Cosima moved with Delphine without struggle, and once Delphine had settled herself against the couch, Cosima snuggled back into Delphine's arms without any protest, as eager to accept the comfort of the blonde's arms as Delphine was to offer it.
Minutes passed in silence as they lay together, Delphine's hand running soothingly up and down Cosima's back, the repetitive motion reflexively relaxing Cosima, loosening her muscles until she was moulded, boneless, against Delphine's side.
"I'm scared," Cosima whispered eventually, finally feeling able to talk.
Delphine dipped her head down, pressing her lips to the braided top of Cosima's head, her hand never stopping its soothing motions.
"Tell me what's happening?" Delphine breathed out, her tone soft and questioning, offering herself for Cosima's use not demanding the brunette provide her with anything. "Please, I want to help."
Cosima did not reply immediately. In fact, she was silent for so long that Delphine thought she was not going to respond to her, but just as the blonde was about to give up hope of receiving an answer, Cosima spoke.
"You're aware of Katja's respiratory problem," Cosima said softly, her fingers nervously toying with the pendant that was resting on Delphine's shirt, between the swells of her breasts.
"Yes," Delphine replied simply, trailing her hand up Cosima's back until her fingers were caressing the nape of the brunette's neck tenderly.
"It's now my problem too," Cosima related.
Delphine's fingers stilled for moment as her worst fears were confirmed. When she arrived Cosima had been far paler than she had ever seen her, and a few times during the evening when Cosima had retreated to Felix's bathroom, Delphine had been able to hear her coughing. The sounds were discrete, as if Cosima was trying to muffle them, but Delphine had heard, and her mind had automatically turned to Katja.
"When I learned of Katja's respiratory issue, I knew it might become a concern for you," Delphine murmured as her hand began to stroke Cosima's neck again. "I've done some research," she admitted a little a shyly, a little uncertainly, not sure how Cosima would take the revelation. "I've been … exploring possibilities."
"That's a bit beyond your purview as a monitor, isn't it?" Cosima asked, the question coming out a bit more bitingly than she intended.
Delphine's chest rose and fell deeply beneath Cosima, the only outward sign that her words had affected the blonde.
"As a monitor, perhaps," Delphine began slowly, hesitantly.
The other monitors did not involve themselves in the science of the subjects they were watching, but the other monitors did not have a PhD in immunology. Her background made her unique among the monitors and she had more access to information about the subjects than the others did.
"But not as …" Delphine paused awkwardly, searching for a word to use that would not upset Cosima and the delicate balance they had reached over the course of the evening. "Not as your friend," she settled on, though the word did not begin to address the scope of her feelings for Cosima. "As someone who cares for you deeply," she added softly.
There were more words on the tip of her tongue. Words about how she had wanted to protect Cosima, about how the mere thought of anything happening to Cosima devastated to her. There were words about how after meeting Cosima in person she had pored over her medical files, checking, re-checking, and checking again the results of every test that had been run on her over the past five years because Cosima's health and well-being were of paramount importance to her. There were words about how she would go to the ends of the Earth for Cosima, about how she would research until her eyes bled and her body failed if it would help keep Cosima safe. But Delphine did not say any of the words on the tip of her tongue because she knew that Cosima was not yet ready to hear them.
"I don't suppose you have a cure?" Cosima breathed out, wryly. "A lozenge I could take? Vile tasting serum maybe? Perhaps an injection of some kind?"
"Not yet," Delphine replied regretfully, wishing more than anything in the world that she could have handed Cosima a solution to her problem, wanting more than anything else to be Cosima's hero after having caused her so much pain. "But I have made some headway," she continued.
She didn't have a solution yet, but she had made some progress and she'd taken every bit of data the Institute had on Katja and the respiratory condition that had plagued her, before she'd left for Toronto.
"Can I see?" Cosima asked.
"Yes. Of course," Delphine replied immediately. "Of course," she repeated as her head tilted to the side to look at her laptop. "Just let me …" she murmured, shifting beneath Cosima a little.
Cosima shifted back, giving Delphine room to move before she rearranged herself so that she was sitting on the couch beside Delphine, much as she had been for the majority of the night.
"It's all in here," Delphine said a minute later, opening a password protected folder on the computer and then angling it towards Cosima and pushing it over to her.
Cosima leaned toward, her hands extending towards the keyboard.
"It's okay if —" she began, glancing over at Delphine.
"Yes, yes of course," Delphine interjected, waving her hand at the screen in invitation. "No more secrets. Everything I have, everything I know," everything I am, Delphine added mentally, "is yours. Please," she continued, nudging the laptop closer to Cosima.
Cosima reached for the computer once again and then clicked the first file.
Cosima stared at the screen of the laptop, her eyebrows furrowing and her fingers twitching slightly. A myriad of data was floating around her head, and her mind buzzed as she tried to make sense of it all, as she tried to connect the information in her head to the words Delphine had just been saying.
"… but if—"
"Trust me," Delphine cut in gently, shaking her head, as Cosima continued to stare at the screen. "It cannot work."
Cosima took off her glasses, releasing a frustrated sound as she did, and collapsed against the back of the couch.
"Of course you'd know," she sighed, her glasses dangling from the fingers of one hand as the other rubbed at her eyes with her fingers and then pinched the bridge of her nose tiredly. "You have your degree," she breathed out as she opened her eyes and tilted her head so that she could see Delphine.
Delphine shrugged and then leaned against the back of the couch as well.
It was true, she did already have her degree, and Cosima's problem lay in her field. Cosima had a very good grasp of the principles they were dealing with, but Delphine's knowledge of the field was far greater, far more intensive.
Cosima dropped her glasses into her lap and brought both of her hands up to her face and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes tiredly.
"You need to sleep, chérie," Delphine said, the term of endearment falling from her lips before she could think better of it.
She tensed minutely, but Cosima did not pull away from her or object to her use of the term and Delphine relaxed.
"I need my stash," Cosima sighed, dropping her hands down to her sides.
"I'm not sure I would recommend that … at the moment. Considering," Delphine replied sardonically, turning her head to look at Cosima.
Cosima met her eyes, and they watched each other for a second, then Cosima's lips curved up a little and a little laugh escaped from her.
"Yeah," Cosima drawled a moment later. "Probably not the wisest course of action given my award winning performance as Nicole Kidman at the end of Moulin Rouge," she continued, and Delphine's lips curved up.
"I'm sorry," she murmured a moment later, looking over at Cosima with chagrin. "It's not funny," she breathed out, her voice lowering with concern as her eyes gently caressed Cosima's features.
"I thought it was a pretty good one, given the material I had to work with and the fact that I'm struggling to maintain consciousness," Cosima replied, smiling gently to let Delphine know that it was okay to smile and laugh, even though she was sick and the situation was serious.
It was like she had told Sarah when they first met. It was important to keep a sense of humor in troubled times. It was important not to let the weight of the world, or the future, or the unknown crush you. When you couldn't or wouldn't laugh, when you couldn't or wouldn't smile, that's when you were in serious danger. That's when you ended up stepping in front of a moving train, like Beth.
"Always so cheeky," Delphine said softly, smiling affectionately.
"You like it," Cosima stated playfully.
"I do," Delphine breathed out, gazing at her softly, longing and love warring for dominance in her gaze.
Delphine had been directing such looks at her since she had arrived at Felix's loft, but Cosima hadn't allowed herself to look for too long, she hadn't wanted to see it, to get lost in those sparkling blue eyes again. But presently, she let herself look, she let herself feel the warmth of Delphine's gaze, she let herself want the blonde again.
"You can kiss me," Cosima breathed out before she was even consciously aware that she was speaking. "That is if you're, you know, not afraid of catching the Clone bubonic—"
Before she could finish her sentence, Delphine was leaning over her, her hands braced on the back of the couch on both sides of Cosima's head, as her lips descended and then pressed against Cosima's, gentle yet incredibly eager, as if she had been drowning before and Cosima's lips were air.
"Sorry," Delphine breathed out a minute later, her right hand lifting from the back of the couch to caress Cosima's cheek. She was aware that she had pounced on Cosima. It had been an elegant pounce, a controlled one, but a pounce nonetheless. "I … couldn't quite help myself. I… I've missed your lips," she sighed, blushing a little though she held Cosima's gaze.
"Yeah," Cosima whispered in agreement, as her eyes dropped to contemplate Delphine's lips.
Prior to that evening, she had been pissed at Delphine not dreaming of an intimate reunion between the two of them. However, having spent that night making crazy science with the blonde, having lain in her arms and been cradled in her embrace, having just felt her lips on hers, Cosima was left yearning for Delphine's touch.
"I'm missing yours now," Cosima admitted, her voice, whisper soft.
"I would not have it remain so," Delphine breathed out with an earnestness that sent tendrils of warmth through Cosima's entire body.
And then Delphine's hands were on Cosima's face, cradling it gently as she leaned in, and then they were kissing.
Minutes later, Cosima's lips shifted to kiss the corner of Delphine's mouth, and then her jaw, and finally her throat, and then she simply buried her face in Delphine's neck and wrapped her arms around her. Delphine immediately drew her arms around Cosima's body, wrapping Cosima up tightly in her arms.
"You need to sleep, chérie," Delphine breathed out, repeating the words she had spoken earlier as Cosima's body began to go limp in her arms, exhaustion already pulling her towards unconsciousness. "Come," Delphine whispered as she guided Cosima's drained body down on top of her so that they were lying down together on the couch as they had been a few hours before.
"You can't spend the night like this," Cosima murmured, even as she settled heavily against Delphine, not wanting to give up the warmth and comfort of Delphine's body. "You'll be wrecked in the morning."
"I can," Delphine disagreed gently, beginning to stroke Cosima's back again. "I will. Nothing will wrest me from your arms," she promised, her voice soft though her words were heavy with meaning.
"You're going to regret this in the morning," Cosima breathed out, even as she snuggled more tightly against Delphine.
"Never. It is not possible," Delphine breathed out, and a little smile turned up the corners of Cosima's lips. "Sleep, mon trésor," the blonde whispered a few seconds later, and dutifully, helplessly, Cosima's eyes slid shut. "I've got you."
A soft exhalation of air escaped from Cosima at the sound of Delphine's words, and then Cosima's body fully relaxed against Delphine and she finally gave into the tiredness she was feeling and allowed sleep to claim her.