TF FanFiction 1.33
Me o Tojite San Byou
Hello, hello, everyone! I'm back with another one-shooter. =P This project will be more on a serious note... Well, not really on the dark spectrum, but you know, it's a "serious talk" about Fuji-sama's closed eyes. *Dun-dun-dun!* =D
I sincerely hope that this project will be at par with your, dear readers', expectations. Please take care of me, minna. Enjoy~!
Disclaimer: I can only dream the impossible dream~
TF FanFiction 1.33
Me o Tojite San Byou
.•* One day when the light is glowing
.•* I'll be in my castle golden
.•* But until the gates are open
.•* I just want to feel this moment
~ Feel This Moment by Christina Aguilera and Pitbull~
For normal people, like Tezuka Kunimitsu, there seems to be only five plausible reasons why they close their eyes:
This refers to the physical body's need blink and rest/sleep, and all other normal optical function and maintenance needed to maintain a healthy and fit condition. This may also apply for special and unforeseen evens, such as accidents, that needed the act in aiding for full recovery.
A reasonably proper person would know how to control his emotions to a certain extent, and closing the eyes - feeling the dark nothingness - brings a sort of comfort and calmness to the body. In Tezuka's case, this is usually accompanied with massaging his temples or the bridge of his nose to relieve the tension, especially when dealing with people who are slacking-off, or when the habitual bickering between Momo and Kaidoh ensue.
Much like the second reason, but usually followed by an internal or physical sigh or yawn, the act deems to rest weary eyes and body and may subsequently lead to sleep or cravings, depending on the level of stress.
Under sane and sound context, one closes their eyes when needed or instructed within certain rules, circumstances, or binding events, with full consideration that it is done legally, morally, and of free-will. Much like when playing hide-and-seek, and the 'it' needs, according to the rules of the game, to close his/her eyes and count to a certain number or letter, while all the rest hides.
5. Confusion and Perplexity
It is human nature to be curious and seeking, to want to find an answer for everything, and closing the eyes during these wondering circumstances helps in the conceptualizing of ideas and possibilities, as well as, defects and improvements. In the Buchou's case, this is rare and quite seldom, but still possible... especially regarding one close-eyed Tensai.
It's not really the vied secret of life... He, too, shuts his russet orbs from everything for a point in time - those momentary darkness that bring calmness to his nerves and push the troubles away even for just a inexistent lapse in time. But Fuji is different, as the Tensai ALWAYS had them closed (unless he is totally serious or angry or pissed... or, off the record, being a tease ^_~*). The unfathomable smile and those mysteriously concealed sapphires... A being of so angelic at heart, but as sadistic as he played the part. Perhaps there will be no end to this conquest of deciphering Fuji, the living enigma that puzzles Tezuka more than he would ever allow to show on his face. But still Tezuka had no intention of giving up trying to understand the cryptic reasoning behind Fuji's closed eyes.
The tousle-haired boy is not one to pry on someone's personal preference, and would rather opt to wait for that person to be ready and willing to open-up to him, but just this once he really wished for a chance to - for the lack of better words - pry the reason out of Fuji. He doesn't understand why it he really wanted to understand... He once reasoned that he wanted to know because it is a Fuji fact, but then he couldn't comprehend why he 'needed' so much to know about this person called Fuji Syuusuke. But be that as it may, he still pray for the chance to come.
Days went by, and as if an answered prayer, the chance subtly presented itself one school-day afternoon. Academics went as usual - had to correct a professor for an overlooked error; student council went smoothly with the his - the respected Kaichou's - justifiably strict supervision; as tennis practice had also proceeded better than he had anticipated - putting aside their kyohai's very loud competitiveness, the data man's brainchild of juices, all the hype and cocky confidence - everyone was in tip-top condition, so all was good. And as expected, Tezuka was the last to exit the showers, and proceeding to the dimly lit lockers to fix himself fit to go home. Well, that was what he thought until he turned around towards the door and put his rimless glasses on...
'Fuji?!' Tezuka's thought alerted, mentally scolding himself for not noticing the other's presence sooner. His eyes studied the Tensai's form, which seems to be sleeping, probably from waiting for him. He should have already expected that, since they have been going home together a lot lately. He walked towards Fuji until he was directly in front of the effeminate boy, in hope that the latter notice and acknowledge him.
There was no reaction. Fuji didn't budge an inch from his position, sitting comfortably at the bench with his back leaning on the wall, a peaceful reverie playing on his supple pink lips, and those closed eyes... Oh, he should have known.
"Fuji," Tezuka called, voice leveled yet hinting of sternness. Seeing that the honey-brown-haired boy remained motionless, a soft sigh escaped his lips. No, he didn't feel vexed nor disappointed, it's just that it is moment like this with Fuji that he needed to collect himself more than the norms. Closing the eyes... breathe... open. "Fuji, I need to lock the clubroom."
"Saa..." a satisfied smile bloomed on Fuji's lips, "you noticed."
"Ah. It's not that hard to recognize," Tezuka stated in an as-a-matter-of-fact manner, as he proceeded to opening the door and exiting the clubroom.
Fuji muffled a grin at the oh-so-predictable respond from the taller boy, as he collected his own belongings, followed suit, and waited outside for Tezuka to secured the all the locks and the premises. "But normal people don't really notice it, what with my eyes usually closed."
Tezuka took a moment to study the Tensai's features, but soon returned to finishing his responsibilities. There's got to be an underlying meaning in those words, but before his mind could even process any of that, he neglected to notice his own lips quietly mumble, "maybe I'm not normal..."
"Hmm~" an amused curl claimed the corner of the Tensai's lips, seeing that his Buchou hadn't intended for those words be actually said (though others won't really see anything differed from Tezuka's stoic visage, Fuji sees every intricate detail crystal clear), "I beg to differ, Tezuka, I think you're special."
Tezuka, who reflexly looked at Fuji and knowing the faint warm blush rising to his cheeks, chose not to answer the statement - not really sure how to respond - and walked on. And Fuji being Fuji, never prodded further on it, and soon changed the topic of their conversation, as they headed out Seishun Gakuen gates. The walk was pleasant, snippets of verbal exchanges now and then, and a whole lot of comfortable silence and unspoken conversations. They walked past the bookstore... the ice cream parlor... the park...taking a longer route... and the grassy riverside glittering magnificently under the setting sun...
"Wah~ the sunset's really beautiful, ne?" Fuji reveled at that scarlet fusion claiming the vast horizon, not really expecting a reply, before gracefully threading down the grassy incline. He stood still with his back facing his Buchou, silently gesturing that he didn't mind should Tezuka needed or wanted to head home first, and leave Fuji to his own thoughts. "It makes me want to just sit a while and marvel at it's gloriously warm flames."
"Hn." assented Tezuka, as he watched Fuji's lithe form sat on the greens. It was a picturesque site to behold, as if an angel of mercy had graced the fertile earthen ground. An invisible smile peeked at the corners of his lips, and soon he, too, heads downwards to fill- up his seat beside Fuji.
Though the action wasn't one that Fuji expected, he felt glad to have Tezuka share this moment with him. His Buchou have always put-in his utmost effort with seriousness in everything he does - a true talent a Tensai like himself could never deny, much less ignore -, and always with reason. Fuji took a moment to glance at the admirable man beside him, a genuine smile gracing his lips as he committed the personified Phoenix into memory, before focusing once more the the aesthetic natural wonder enveloping them.
Tezuka appreciated this comfortable kinship shared with Fuji, despite the fact that the latter opting to share with him boundless trivialities to last him a lifetime, or that one time the effeminate boy insistently hummed 'Ievan Polka' all the way home, making that looping tune stuck in his head for a whole week *|-( . He's not complaining though, because usually these factoids are actually educational and note-worthy. But this time, the smiling boy seem to have no inclination of breaking this quiet sanctuary, and so Tezuka took it upon himself - after much internal deliberation - to open the conversation.
"Fuji, can I ask you..." Tezuka inquired, his face unwavering but gazing at the corner of his eyes, as a short pause of hesitation parted his words, "... something personal?"
"Hmm?" Fuji faced Tezuka, tilting his head innocently, ideally hiding his mild surprise at the sudden question, but more of Tezuka actually initiating a conversation not about academics nor tennis. "Sure, Tezuka, but I can opt not to answer if I don't want to, ne?"
"Ah." Tezuka turned to face the effeminated boy, pondering on how to put that one thing that greatly puzzles his well-structured logic into a serious question without making Fuji uncomfortable. But, alas, he was left with no other option than being straight-forwards with it. "Why do you always have your eyes closed?"
"Saa..." Fuji touched a forefinger at his delicately sculpted chin in gesture of deep thinking, though his tone verge of playful evasion. "Why, indeed?"
"Fuji..." Tezuka held an internal sigh, while massaging the bridge of his aquiline nose. He didn't intend to sound forceful, be he wanted the Tensai to answer him truthfully... or at least 'try' to give him an honest response.
The smile Fuji wore grew thoughtfully solemn, as he averted his face back to the breath-taking view before them. He wasn't escaping nor running away - he could if he wanted to, but with Tezuka's tenancy, it won't be long before the captain corners him checkmate -, and so decided to satisfy the rare curiosity. The answer was quite simply, really, but Fuji knew better to build up an understanding (a subtle challenge?) before giving-in. "Do you also ask yourself why we close our eyes when we dream or when we make a sincere wish?"
"Hn." Certainly, the tousle-haired boy did and asked himself why he did those acts during his younger days, yet he wondered why Fuji would be asking of these now. Either way, he strongly believe that wishes and dream would and could never be achieved without actually reaching out for them. "But I always face every challenge head-on to achieve my goals."
"That is so like you, Tezuka," Fuji chuckled, "and that's good. But I see things differently." The honey-brown-haired boy faced his Buchou with a serene smile, intending to make the other boy see that he is taking this conversation seriously. "I want to think that perhaps the most beautiful things in life are better perceived than seen... like something waiting for a deeper manifestation than what the naked eyes care to see."
"Does the mysteries of the unknown interests you that much to hide your real self behind a smile?" the Buchou couldn't help but asked, though he is relieved that Fuji has decided to share his true self with him.
"I admit, it does intrigue me - the unknown," Fuji concurred, "as it is the unpredictable compass that holds the key to the undecided future... the reason why it is hidden, and so is the reason I close my eyes and smile." His smile turn wider but more vague, much like the calm sea surface over deeps brushing tectonic plates.
The philosophy behind those words appealed sensible to idealists, but Tezuka knew better that there was more to it than what was being said. "Or you just like being 'the mystery' that intrigues everyone to do your bidding?"
"Everyone?" slight surprise was evident in Fuji's response, but soon rang of teasing belles, "does that include you, too, Tezuka?"
Tezuka was taken aback when the Tensai had unassumingly turned the tables on him, and he was forced to reconsider his own thoughts about his relationship with Fuji. Admittedly, he is interested in the latter's innate genius and hidden talent... disappointed(?) that Fuji never really unleash his full potential unless he is challenged and cornered to his carefree limits... amazed and fascinated by his eccentricity and unpredictability... calmly comforted by this boy's fleeting presence... and those sharp honest blues hidden behind closed lids that could read him so naturally... In silent resonance, Tezuka pondered on what exactly it is that attracts him to Fuji.
Duly noting that the taller boy was drawn into deep thoughs and won't be responding to his jest anytime soon, Fuji sneaked-in his own defense on Tezuka's earlier accusation. "Saa... I simply enjoy venturing into the hidden wonders and natural simplicity of existence, than that of the glamorized and commercialized reality," he explained, and though not facing the the other boy, effectively earned him an earnest gleam on those godly hazel orbs that meant to say Tezuka is all ears, "is that really so bad?"
"No," the Buchou curtly shook his head. The reason was sound and rationally plausible, yet he couldn't shake away he feeling that Fuji is still hiding something crucial behind those closed lids, and he determinedly sought for it. "But you still haven't answered why you insist on keeping your eyes closed."
Fuji knew he had to tell him one way or another - knowing well how Tezuka could be as tenaciously stubborn and as disturbingly pursuing as the Tensai himself is, should he want to exploit his skills -, and he IS planning to tell the taller boy someday in the future, but since their conversation had come down to this... he might as well take the presented opportunity. With concealed gaze towards the celestial red maiden, he took a calming breath, and felt the wind blanket his lithe form in support.
"On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux." Fuji expressed the words with quiet sincerity, with his smile softening ever so delicately. He waited a while for Tezuka's response, or any form of reaction to his answer. His Buchou made no verbal indication, though he maintained a steadfast gaze at Fuji, perhaps awaiting for some deeper revelation. His smile quivered an iota, as he mustered enough courage to ask, "do you trust me enough, Tezuka, to let me show you this ideal?"
Tezuka pondered on the risk and consequences of this requested trust, but he could clearly see that Fuji is - and had been since earlier - taking this whole conversation seriously. He also knew that he was already prying into the Tensai's private matters, but he could no longer resist the desire to decipher Fuji. And if this small risk was the price to pay to satisfy his emotional thirst, the he will see this to the end... thusly, he nodded once in confirmation to Fuji's request.
Fuji shifted his position so that his whole leverage is facing Tezuka, letting his smile fall to almost being imaginary, and dared, "then, please clear your mind of everything and close your eyes for me..."
Tezuka fidgeted invisibly, yet remained still in his place, before he trustingly followed through with slowly closing his eyes and senses from earthly surrounding, and just feel...
As his Buchou's russet orbs slowly vanish from sight, Fiji's shy blues - hazed with raw emotions of adoration and afffection - peeked in serene gaze at the man before him... he is completely enamored by this simply confident regality only Tezuka Kunimitsu can humbly exude. How mushy, but whatever, right? Then, he closed his sapphires again and leaned litely to press his soft moist lips over Tezuka's supple pink lips in a chaste but meaningful kiss... but lasting only three seconds. Afterwhich, the Tensai gracefully, albeit hastily, returned to his place beside his companion, anticipating what sort of reaction would be thrown his way.
Tezuka's eyes popped open the second those luscious lips retreated away from him, fast enough to have caught a glimpse of Fuji's glittering silky strands fluttering softy to his side. The feeling of being kissed - warm, loving, accepting - lingered sweetly, as he blankly graced his long fingers on his lower lip. It actually didn't feel wrong to him, even though his logic rigged at it. And it unexpectedly triggered something inside him... Something he knew deep inside him all along, but couldn't muster the courage to say. His mind wasn't raging, but was blocked with only one unbearably essential truth.
Sensing that Tezuka was still sorting his realizations, Fuji thought it better to explain himself, or at least a rash excuse to try making the moment less awkward, "Kissing is one of the most wonderful and pleasurable gifts in life. It gives you this warm loving feel in you're body - life a sense of a love and belongingness - and the best flavor in the world..." He was relieved that his voice had come out leveled and smooth despite the thumping drum in his chest. He slightly tilted his head to his side and studied Tezuka's face. The taller youth was looking back at him with the same scrutiny, and just knew then that persimmon ginger-ales were brewing on his fair cheeks. This made him divert his attention towards the dancing greens abounding his shoes as naturally as he could manage, before summing up his abstract point, "...especially if it's shared consensually with the right person."
Within those three almost invisible seconds his eyes were closed, Tezuka realized why he is so concerned and affected by everything and anything remotely connected to one Fuji Syuusuke. He understood, despite Fuji's effort to hide the requited feeling with 'rationally sound' reasoning, that he had long harbored feelings for his Tensai, but neglected the past quiet moment to assert his this confession. And as Fuji rambles on with 'excuses' his angelic blush could no longer deny, Tezuka also knew he himself can no longer hide behind his stoic expressionless mask. So, without further hesitation, the tousle-haired teen leaned towards the unsuspecting effeminate boy and instantly captures those moist cherry lips with an unexpected kiss - their second kiss! ^o^=
Fuji's sapphires unraveled at the sudden touch of passionate desire, but this trance lasted only for a nanosecond, because soon he was responding to Tezuka's invitation - an amorous pull into the soft sensual exchange of warm caressing lips... lulled into the slow passionated dance of tango their hot, wet tongues played... as their hands and arms traced the firm neck and broad back in alluring whips of desire... fingers enlaced into silky sandy-brown tousled stands... the feel of soft porcelains skin under his fingertips...
But before the euphoric heat reaches a peak over their rationality, Tezuka hesitantly pulled himself back (with as much effort as he could muster at the moment) from the angel before his eyes. Without letting Fuji slip from his arms, and thought it only refined to give the Tensai a proper response. "I have already found the right person."
At those honest words said with such deep husky voice, Fuji dreamily opens his dazed cerulean orbs, fully revealing his feelings for Tezuka. Truthfully speaking, his whole countenance is bursting with so much happiness, desire, and appreciation, whirling his thoughts in heavenly cloud nine, yet all he could voice at that instant was an adorable purr~
"You're my right person, Syuusuke," Tezuka leaned forward once more until their foreheads are touching intimately, as he allowed his heart-felt words to flow unguarded, "but I'd rather endeavor all circumstances with you in my sight."
"Then maybe opening my eyes to see you everyday would be a nice change, ne?" Fuji softly spoke, his cerulean orbs endearingly gazing at his beau's affectionate embers.
"Ah." Tezuka assented to the suggestion, but bashfully lowered his gaze as he further expressed his thoughts. "Yet I still selfishly wish, I could have your eyes and heart solely mine."
Fuji was overwhelmed - overjoyed, if there existed such word -, and he couldn't help the goofy lover's smile from claiming his lips. His love has been requited... Tezuka loves him... and the latter is showing him his possessive side all because of how deeply true his Buchou's feelings are for him. With his free hand, Fuji tilted Tezuka's face up in gesture of comforting assurance. "It's not selfishness, Mitsu, it's love."
"Hn." Tezuka allows that elusively mesmerizing smile to grace his lips, that very special smile solely for his one and only Tenshi. "Perhaps I, too, finally found a reason to close my eyes."
"Tell me?" the Tensai prodded adoringly for that most coveted answer, as he leaned his head to rest on his captain's broad chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his blossoming love.
"I love you each moment I see you," Tezuka answered faithfully, as he wrap his lover within his embrace, and kissed Fuji's honey-brown crown, "and more each second I close my eyes."
Fuji snuggled closer to the passion-filled warmth of the embrace, savoring the distinct musky jasmine scent that is Tezuka. "And I love you in my every wake and dreams, my dearest apple."
Tezuka laughed softly at the mentioned endearment, knowing well that Fuji just referred to him as his most precious "apple of the eye", earning him a tighter hug from his lover, who was trying his best to hide the lovely rozen blush caressing his youthful face. With the magic behind the veil of closed eyes revealed, both boys finally found their other half - the fulfilling acceptance, belongingness, security, and affection of their eternal soul lovers stayed in this tender love-lace until the indigo shawl drapes over the celestial red maiden. Then, under the little giggling twinklers peeking in the horizon, they head home hand-in-hand in merry contentment.
It is often said that "curiosity kills the cat", and that "what the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over"... But should a glimpse of love "catches the eyes" of our heart, perhaps it better to "dig one's own grave" over the risks, than have regrets on "turning a blind eye" over the possibilities. Because heaven knows, right? Because "love, as it is in life, is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get", nevertheless they're sweets~ ^_~*
a/n: This quotation is one of my most favorite, and I'd like to share this wisdom with you, dear readers. It from the rich wordings of ~Le Petit Prince~ written by French author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.
"On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.
By the way, the title - Me o Tojite San Byou - means Closing the Eyes for Three Seconds. I got the idea for it while browsing for manga's to read, though the storylines are completely different from each other. Either way, it does sounds appropriate for this project, ne? ^ ^=
Reviews, comments, and constructive criticisms from you, dear readers, are always highly appreciated~!
Makes me feel much love~ =3