For Camp Potter. Event: First Aid (1. tremble 2. in the shadows 3. fragile.). Cabin: Lestrange.

Warnings for profanity and excessive smoking

.

you

shakeshivertremble

in the cold air

take a drag of your cigarette

curl your knees up to his chest in a desperate attempt to conserve heat

you have never felt so alone

.

third cigarette

you can't seem to shake the cold that has seeped into your bones

or the trembling in your fingers

God damn, you've never felt so fragile

so human

.

you curl your lips

blow out a stream of smoke.

hello

you say

and he emerges from his place in the shadows

Sirius

he says

come inside

you blow the next steam of smoke right in his face

he scowls

bastard

you smirk

go fuck yourself

He sits on the curb beside you anyway

I take that to mean you aren't coming inside?

you laugh bitterly, inhale another breath of smoke

he takes that as the answer it's meant to be

to your surprise, he doesn't move

I don't think it's fair of her

you frown at him

he's never expressed anything like this before

since when do you give a damn?

He sighs.

may I?

and you offer him a cigarette and your lighter

he smiles gratefully

lights up

blows a stream of smoke straight in your face

bastard

but you're laughing.

eventually, he sighs

I don't know what to believe anymore

he glances at you

taps the ash off the end of his cigarette

takes another drag

you want to tell him to believe in you but God, that would be soppy

instead you just take another drag

you're leaving

it isn't a question

eventually, you nod

.

your fifth cigarette

his second

you aren't as cold anymore

there is warmth in your aching bones

but your fingers still tremble

(though that might just be the fact that it's pure nicotine flowing through your veins at this point)

.

six

.

seven

.

you're burning (literally) through a whole pack sitting on this curb

it's the only thing keeping you from strangling someone

.

go back inside, Reg

it's not a question.

and you?

his is a question

you sigh

I don't know

you flick the butt of cigarette number seven into the street

brush a fleck of ash off your pants

James

you murmur finally.

he nods

stands

a hand on your shoulder

don't

don't do anything stupid

all right?

you laugh

genuinely

I won't if you don't

he disappears

the chill seeps back into your bones as you sit on that curb

you are so damn tired of it all

.

eventually

you haul yourself up

take the Knight Bus to the Potter's

force yourself not to be stagnant

force yourself to keep moving

because the chill that seeped into your bones that night

hasn't gone away

and if you stop moving forward

you will freeze