Ugh. Writing lately has been so hard but things around here have been even harder, so thats my excuse. I do hope you enjoy this. I cant promise that there are no mistakes or that its perfect but I'm relatively happy with it so...well, I just hope you enjoy it.
The last spell had been cast. The last body had been collected from the grounds and laid to rest in the Great Hall, the family members gathered around them, crying and folding into themselves. Harry probably should have been present during all of this. Probably should have been consoling families and checking on the injured but instead, he was propped up against a wall in a deserted corridor, his head in his hands.
He had done what everyone had expected him to do, done what his life, up until this point, had been all about. And now he was left with nothing that he had done for himself, save for one thing, in the last eighteen years and no idea what he was meant to do with himself after this. The thought was depressing at the very least.
"Shouldn't you be downstairs celebrating your victory with the rest of your mindless horde?" The voice made Harry smile and he continued to hold his head in his hands for a few moments before dropping them and looking up, his eyes locking on Draco's lithe form.
"Shouldn't you be down in the dungeons mourning the fall of your Great Leader along with the rest of his mindless horde?"
Draco snorted and then shrugged his shoulders, pushing off from the wall that he had been leaning against so he could walk over to where Harry was sitting."They're all a bit too snively for my taste, really."
"Ah," Harry replied, nodding, a small smile on his face as he watched Draco come to a halt next to him and crouch down so he was level with Harry's face.
"You scared me half to death, you know. With your whole playing dead in Hagrids arms ploy." Draco's tone was completely serious and Harry could see the range of emotions flickering through those grey eyes.
"Sorry," he replied quietly, looking down at his lap. He hadnt really had much of a choice and he had known just how much everyone would fall apart but he had to admit that Draco had been the last person on his mind when really, he probably should have been the first.
Draco sighed and reached out a hand, his fingers tracing over the gashes and bruises already forming on the side of Harry's face. "Its alright. But don't ever, ever, do that to me again or I really will kill you." Harry smiled softly, looking back up and turning his face into Draco's fingers.
"I'll do my best. But you know me, always running off into the midst of the danger and all that." Draco rolled his eyes, his hand now cupping the side of Harry's face as he leaned in to kiss him softly.
Their exchange the night before had been hurried and rough so the gentleness of the kiss was a welcome change. Draco pulled back after a moment and leaned his forehead against Harry's, grey eyes staring into green. "Its over, you know. Finally," he said softly, his breath mingling with Harry's.
Harry blew out a messy breath and nodded, reaching his hands up to thread his fingers in the hair at the back of Draco's neck. "I know. I know."
Less than two months ago it had seemed like it was never going to end; Voldemort was never going to be defeated and they'd just keep playing this game of hide and seek forever. But here he was now, leaning up against Draco Malfoy and thanking the Gods that it was all over. Draco had been his rock through all of this, really, which had made the last few months and last night so damn hard. When they had started this whole thing more than a year ago, now, he hadnt ever expected it to work and he was relatively sure that Draco hadn't expected it to work, either. It had been a freak occurrence; they'd gone from fighting, screaming at each other and throwing punches, to kissing and fucking in thirty seconds, it had seemed, when in all reality it had probably been much longer than that but Harry had ceased to care as soon as Draco's lips had met his. It had quickly turned into more than fucking after a few weeks, though how that had come about, neither one could tell you. It had just sort of happened but Harry had to admit that it was nice to have someone want him, someone to care about him (because Ron and Hermione didn't count in that way) and someone who needed him just about as much as he needed them. Because even if Draco wouldn't admit it, Harry knew that he needed him. The entire situation would have been worse if Draco was still solely on the Dark side rather than the Light, but it had been months since he had turned to the Light side, and it was long before they had started any sort of relationship. When Draco first approached him, after talking with the Order, apparently, Harry had ignored his extended hand and gone about his business. They had done relatively well in ignoring each other from then on, up until the night of the infamous fight, as they had both now begun to refer to it as. Looking back at it now, Harry had to thank Merlin that it had all happened in the first place.
"You're in a completely different world right now." Draco's words tore him from his thoughts and Harry found himself once again staring into grey eyes, his hands gripping blonde strands between his fingers.
"Sorry," he whispered, licking his lips. "I...was reflecting, I suppose. Not on the Battle, because I really don't want to think about that right now, but on you and me. How this happened in the first place. And how if it wasn't for you, I don't think I would have gotten through all of this."
Draco laughed quietly, pulling back from Harry so he could sit down next to him instead of crouching. Harry let the mans hair slide between his fingers, one of his hands coming down to grip Draco's knee after he was seated next to him because he suddenly didn't want to let him go. "I think you could have done it without me. Maybe not as well, because my vast knowledge led you to many startling conclusions, and you definitely would not have been as relaxed because we both know that sex is, and was your best outlet for every single frustration, but you still could have done it. Just, you know, it would have been harder." Now it was Harry's turn to roll his eyes and he nudged Draco's shoulder with his own.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're rather full of yourself?"
"I believe you do on quite a regular basis."
"Good," Harry replied, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. "Hows everyone holding up?" he finally asked, his fingers tightening their grip on Draco's knee. Draco was quiet for a moment, so quiet that Harry wasn't sure he was going to answer, but he finally did.
"Alright, mostly. I...most everyone is mourning, Harry, for some loss or another. But they're in a right better condition than they would be if you hadn't done what you'd done and if they hadn't fought with you. Those people lying down there, they died for something that they believed in, not because of you, and it isn't in anyway your fault."
"Mmmm," was Harry's only reply, his eyes still closed. He knew that Draco was right, at least about the fact that they were all better off with him than they would have been under Voldemort, but he wasn't so sure about the rest of it. If he was being honest, for every single person that had died, a small part of him had died, too. So much so that now he felt cracked and bone weary, like the only thing holding him down at all was Draco.
"Harry," Draco said, and Harry opened his eyes, turning his head slightly to look at the other man.
"Stop it. Stop beating yourself up. This...you won, Harry. Do you know how many other people down there would have died if it wasn't for you, if it wasn't for all of this?"
Harry stared at him for a moment. A small part of him did know that, but an even bigger part of him hated himself for getting anyone at all killed. If he had just...just...and that was it, right there, wasn't it? There was nothing else he could have done besides what he had done, nothing else that could have possibly made this any better, but it didn't make him hate himself any less. "Harry." Harry blinked because he could hear the frustration in Draco's voice, his eyes focusing on the man once again.
"Yes, I know, I got it, okay?"
"You know but you don't know."
Harry snorted. "Draco, that doesn't even make all that much sense."
"But it makes enough sense to you to the point where you know what I'm saying." Harry sighed because Draco was right, and he rubbed his free hand into his forehead.
"I get it. I just...you know. All of this is resting on my shoulders. Because I did it. I mean, I fought, I didn't just give up and," Draco shot him a look and Harry squeezed his knee extra hard because he wasn't done speaking, "and I know that isn't a bad thing, in fact, as you said, they'd be much worse off if I had, but that doesn't make me feel any better about the people who died during the fighting."
Draco sighed and leaned over, kissing Harry again. It was rougher this time, more involved, but he was trying to get Harry's mind off of things that he shouldn't even be thinking about right now but because of his damn Hero complex, that everyone knew he had but he'd never admit to, he was beating himself up over things that couldn't have been helped. And Draco was more than willing to bet that he'd still be beating himself up about it next week if he didn't stop it now.
When Draco pulled back, Harry's eyes were wide and his breathing was harsher, but his eyes were focused solely on Draco's face now, instead of off in some unseen world where all he did was relive awful things that he couldn't have stopped no matter what. "Pay attention to me now, okay?" All Harry could do was nod and Draco smiled a bit, reaching out a hand to trace Harry's jaw. "The people that died, you didn't kill them and I can almost guarantee you that if you brought them back to life and asked them if they regretted anything, they'd tell you no. You had the courage to do something that most people never would have ever had the courage to do and you didn't let any sort of hate or resentment about the fact that you had to do it, consume you and eat you up. But right now, you are letting it consume you. So please, stop. Let it go. All of those people, when we go back down there, they're going to thank you and touch you and its going to make you uncomfortable and you're probably going to grip me so hard I'll have bruises tomorrow, but its because they truly, truly, needed someone to follow and you gave them that and so much more. So please, even if just for my sake, stop beating yourself up and try to at least comprehend some of what I'm saying."
Harry smiled slightly and ducked his head, his eyes on Draco's lap. The kiss had seemed to clear his head slightly from all of the thoughts that were eating away at him and he had to hand it to Draco; he always managed to get Harry's head back where it was meant to be and out of the dark, gloomy hole where it so often liked to find itself. "Alright. I've got it. I comprehend what you're saying, okay?" he looked back up at Draco's face just in time to see him smile.
"Good. Now come here, will you? I just had the living day lights scared out of me because I thought my boyfriend was dead and we were all doomed to be under a noseless dictators rule forever. I think I deserve some sort of compensation for all of that fear and what it did to me."
Harry snorted but moved over as Draco had asked, leaning into him and pressing his lips to the side of the mans mouth. "You're right. Of course you're right. How selfish of me to be thinking of myself at a time like this."
"Precisely," Draco replied, moving his lips over until they connected with Harry's, his eyes falling shut. His hands came up to cup Harry's face gently and Harry's hands slid to the back of his neck once again, fingers gripping hard at the strands of his hair. The kiss was just as rough and involved as it had been a few moments ago but this time it was a bit different because this was solely about the two of them and their need for each other, not about distractions.
Draco nipped harshly at Harry's bottom lip and Harry groaned quietly, his hands sliding down to grip the front of Draco's shirt. They were both filthy and more than a bit battered but it didn't matter. All that mattered was this, what was happening right now. Harry's chest was rising and falling rapidly, his fingers gripping Draco's shirt even harder than it had been before. Draco's tongue slid out and along Harry's bottom lip, trying to tease him into opening his mouth. Harry obliged, his own tongue coming out to slide against Draco's gently, the action making them both groan simultaneously. Draco pulled back, licking his lips and staring at Harry with large eyes, his pupils blown wide. "Harry, we really-"
"No," Harry replied breathlessly, shaking his head much too fast. "No, don't you dare tell me to stop because I'm not going to. Im not ready to go down there and deal with all of those people and right now I just desper-" Draco cut him off, pressing his lips against Harry's roughly.
"Okay, okay. I get it," Draco whispered against his lips, fingers dancing down the side of Harry's face. "But at least let me take you to an abandoned classroom so I can fuck you up against the wall without someone stumbling upon us, hmm?" His words made Harry shiver but he nodded again and Draco smiled, pulling away from Harry and getting to his feet, holding out a hand to help pull Harry to his. Harry set his hand in Dracos and gripped it hard, using it as leverage to pull himself to his feet quickly, his heart pounding against his ribs. Draco never ceased to have this affect on him and right now, it was exactly what Harry needed.
They weren't without choices when it came to empty classrooms as they were on the seventh floor corridor and everyone else was in the Great Hall, but Harry let Draco pull him along until he found the 'perfect' one, pushing open the door and pulling Harry inside of it before shoving him up against the door. "I...you know me, Harry, I'm normally much more gentle than I was last night and than I'm going to be right now, but-" Harry shook his head, leaning it back against the door, his hands coming out to grip the front of Draco's shirt again.
"No. I mean, I know, but I don't care. I don't...I just need to feel you, okay?" Draco stared at him for a beat before nodding, setting his hands on either side of Harry's head and leaning in, his lips inches from Harry's.
"I can do that. But you need to know that I need you just as much as you need me. And I need this just as much as you do." Harry blinked because that was the first time Draco had ever said anything to that extent but he nodded before leaning in, pressing his lips against Draco's. It was rough, but not as rough as last night, and Draco was nipping at his bottom lip as he was unbuttoning his own trousers with one hand and Harry was panting, his own hands working at the button on his own trousers. It was a difficult task, keeping their lips connected as they tried to strip themselves of their trousers, but they managed and by the time Draco's pants were down, so were Harry's. Draco had nothing on underneath, but then again he never did, and his cock was standing out hard and long, the tip already leaking. Harry let out a shaky breath, his eyes trained on Draco's cock, a fire already beginning to burn in his stomach. His boxers had come down with his trousers and he was so hard it hurt but seeing Draco like that, hard and wanting, even after everything that had happened that day, made him harder and he bit his lip, banging his head back against the door. "Don't bother preparing me. Please. Not this time." His words were hushed but Draco just nodded, pushing his hips into Harry's and causing their cocks to rub together. Harry groaned loudly, his eyes falling shut and Draco licked his lips, his breathing ragged. He moved a few more times against Harry before he couldn't stand it any longer and he reached both hands down, grasping the back of Harry's knees.
"Up," he breathed and Harry complied, setting his hands on Draco's shoulders to make it easier for the man to pull him up. Harry locked his ankles behind Draco's back, his knees hooked around his hips as the man pushed him into the door. His cock was rubbing against Harry's entrance and Harry sucked in a breath, trying to push himself down onto it. "Easy," Draco murmured, more to himself than to Harry, dropping his head down to rest against Harry's shoulder as he made sure he was positioned correctly before beginning to push in slowly. Harry hissed at the feeling but didn't complain because this was exactly what he had needed; the feeling of Draco inside of him and all around him. Not just to help wash away the events of the day and help the wounds begin to heal, but also to help assure him that Draco was alive, he was still here, that they both were. His fingers were digging into Draco's upper arms and when Draco was fully seated inside of him, Harry bit his lip and closed his eyes.
"Make me forget. Even if just for a while," he whispered and the words gave Draco pause but he wanted Harry so much as this point that they could talk about that later, talk about everything that had happened later. Right now, they both needed this.
Draco began to move, his hands gripping Harry's thighs as he thrust up into him and Harry groaned loudly, the door creaking as his weight was pushed into it again and again. "Draco," Harry breathed, his legs tightening around the mans waist. Draco just moaned in return, his forehead pressed tightly into Harry's shoulder. Harry was warm and tight around him and Draco had to urge himself not to come too soon because this was about Harry just as much as it was about him, if not more so about Harry. Harry was pushing down onto Draco's cock, using the mans arms as leverage, his head thumping loudly against the door. His breathing was ragged and fast because the feeling of Draco inside of him was exquisite and just what he needed at the moment. Draco's thrusts were beginning to angle in the direction where he knew he would find Harry's prostate and he smiled against his shoulder when he heard the man moan loudly and felt his fingers grip his arms tighter. Spots were dancing behind Harry's eyelids and he knew that he wasn't even going to have to touch himself in order to come because Draco knew just how to fuck him, just how to hit every spot right and drive him up the wall. "Don't you dare stop," Harry groaned, swallowing hard and Draco just nodded, not able to form coherent words at the moment. He was right on the edge himself but he was determined not to come before Harry did, no matter what that took. A few more thrusts and Harry was coming hard, his eyes squeezed shut tightly and his legs holding Draco closely to him as his entire body shuddered with the force of his orgasm. When Draco felt Harry clench around him, that was all it took and he let go of his control, thrusting hard into Harry's tightness a few more times before he was coming as well, his hands gripping the backs of Harry's knees so tightly that there would probably be bruises already formed by the time they made it back down to the Great Hall. His chest was rising and falling rapidly against Harry's own and he sucked in a deep breath, feeling Harry shuddering against him, still. If it had been anyone else Draco would have been concerned about the shuddering but he knew better; Harry always shuddered and shook like that after an intense orgasm, as if his body couldn't handle all of the emotions and feelings flowing through it at once. Neither one of them said anything for a moment, their breathing the only sound in the room.
"Are you alright?" Draco finally asked quietly, lifting his head from Harry's shoulder to look at his face. Harry lifted his head from the door and nodded, his eyes staring straight into Draco's as his body slowly began to stop shuddering.
"I am now. I...that...I needed to know, to feel, that no matter what happened today, no matter what wounds I've got gaping open on the inside, you're here, you're okay, and finally, for once in my life, so am I." Draco's heart was pounding against his ribs and Harry's words made him want to hold onto the man and never let him go, for a multitude of reasons, but all he did was lean forward and press his lips against Harry's, their bodies as close as they could possibly get. The kiss lasted for a few seconds before Draco pulled back and leaned his forehead against Harry's, his breath ghosting warmly across the man's lips.
"Yeah, you are."