I stared, typing furiously at my computer as I normally did. Nothing really interesting had been going on today, but then again did anything interesting ever really happen around here? It was pretty much just the same shit day after day...message on trollian, write memos, more trollian, eat, sleep, repeat. Such a fucking interesting life, wouldn't you say? At the moment, much like most other moments, I was having a pointless conversation with a particular troll I'd seemed to have found myself fond of...if 'fond' was the correct term in this situation. Normally it would have been, but lately things had gotten...how do you say..different. When we were together, I'd find myself looking at him more, doing every little thing I could to get closer to him without even realizing I was doing it at the time. I'd find myself thinking about him all time, sometimes in ways that I'd never even CONSIDER doing purposely. I'd suddenly start to feel strange when he was in my presence; more tense, you could say. Why was I all of the sudden feeling these things? I didn't fucking know, and it was really starting to piss me off. I absolutely hated not knowing things, and the fact that I couldn't understand my OWN feelings just made it all that fucking worse.
I snapped out of my daze, losing my train of thought as I looked back to my computer screen. Wow, had it really already been ten minutes? I rolled my eyes at the many messages he'd sent during the time I was idle...damn he was so fucking impatient.

-carcinoGeneticist [CG] has been idle for 11 minutes-

TC: bEsT fRiEnD?

TC: bEsT fRiEnD?

TC: bEsT fRiEeEeEeNd ArE yOu MoThErFuCkIn OkAy?

TC: bRo

TC: bRoOoOoO?

TC: mOtHeRfUcKiN aNsWeR mE bRo

TC: :o?

TC: hOnK

CG: HOLY SHIT DUDE CALM THE FUCK DOWN, JEGUS.

CG: CAN I NOT GO FOR A FEW FUCKING MINUTES WITHOUT YOU SPAMMING MY ASS?

TC: wHaT tHe MoThErFuCkIn HeLl WeRe YoU DoInG, bEsTfRiEnD :o? HoNk.

CG: I WAS JUST FUCKING THINKING FOR JEGUS SAKE IT'S NONE OF YOUR GOGDAMN BUSINESS!

TC: wHaTs On YoUr MiNd BrO? yOu CaN mOtHeRfUcKiN tElL mE :o)

CG: I KNOW I CAN GAMZEE IT'S JUST...UGH, NEVERMIND FORGET IT.

TC: iS sOmEtHiNg WrOnG bEsTfRiEnD?

CG: NO, GAMZEE, I'M PERFECTLY FINE. GOG, JUST DROP IT.

TC: i DoNt ThInK yOuR tElLiN tHe TrUtH, bRo. IvE kNoWn YoU lOnG eNoUgH tO kNoW wHeN sOmEtHiNs GoT yOuR mInD mOtHeRfUcKiN RiLeD uP. HoNk.

CG: UGH GAMZEE JUST...I GOTTA GO.

-carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]-

Of course I knew I could tell Gamzee anything, we were best friends and all, but in the particular situation, that fact was exactly WHY I couldn't tell him. And besides, how could I expect him to understand when I myself couldn't even fucking do it? There was just no point in trying, I'd most likely do more harm than good, anyways. I logged out of Trollian and closed the window, sighing and slumping forward a little as I blankly stared at my desktop. I didn't really feel like doing anything else...not even the thought of my romcoms appealed to me anymore, which was saying something. I groaned in frustration, leaning back in my computer chair as I put my hands over my eyes, "What the fuck is wrong with me...why am I feeling like this? I just don't fucking get it!" I slumped once more, my hands dropping down to my sides as an almost depression-like feeling washed over me. My emotions had been going haywire lately...when I was around him, I tensed and felt a strange mix of frustration, confusion, caution, happiness, and something else I didn't quite understand; but when I was apart from him, I felt depressed and didn't have the urge to do any of the things I normally did...hell, sleeping had even become more difficult for me than normal. It's not that I was having nightmares or anything, it's just that I'd lye awake for most of the night, not being able to even fall asleep. I knew for a fact that it made me a little more cranky than usual at times, and I sure as hell wasn't the only one that noticed it. At other times, however, I'd be so out of energy that I wouldn't even throw glares or asshole comments at people like I normally did, I'd simply slump around, exhausted, and wave them off saying something along the lines of "Not right now..". And all of this, all of these strange problems I was having, were all thanks to that stupid fucking juggalo asshole.
I jumped in complete shock at the sudden tap on my shoulder, the unexpected contact slicing through my thoughts like a jagged blade. I spun around in my chair, getting ready to hit the intruder with a barage of colorful vocabulary and probably a fist or two, when I froze at the fimiliar sight. "H-how the fuck did you get into my hive..?!" I screamed, my eyes still wide and my body still frozen from the initial shock. "Spare motherfuckin key, remember?" He smiled his signurature smile, twirling the metal object around his finger, "You gave it to me incase of emergencies."