You're doing it again. Staring at me with those jade eyes like I'll look over and the whole world will have changed. You've done this for the longest time; just having your gaze linger on me for an excruciatingly long period of time. I don't remember when you started. I find it hard to believe that you can still look at me with such hope after all that's happened.
He used to stare at me, too.
You and he were a lot alike, did you know? Strong-willed and nice, brave and humble…so similar. You both even shared the same feelings for me. I'm sorry if that sounds somewhat conceited. I don't mean it to. Both of you stared at me, also. You still do.
Only you don't look at me the way he did.
When Cedric Diggory cast a glance my way, the world stopped turning. He sent chills down my spine and left me starry-eyed. The whole mushy nine yards. I have never comprehended why he chose me when he could have had anyone at all. There are so many girls in Hogwarts, but for some reason he thought I was special. So when he asked me to the Yule Ball, of course I said yes.
That night is so incredibly special to me. The details only Cedric and I know, but I will fill you in on a little secret. He kissed me. My first kiss in fifteen years of existence, and I saw fireworks.
Cedric had a way in bringing out the best in me. When he was around I felt a trifle smarter, a tad quicker, and a ton happier. I could tell him anything without fear or embarrassment; just the simple knowledge that he would understand. Once, on some childish whim, I talked to him about my late father, and how much I missed him. Words poured from my mouth about occasions we had spent together, and how he used to pick me up like a bride being carried of the threshold and spin me around until I was so dizzy I was sure I would throw up. The next morning as I was walking down to breakfast, I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around he leaned down and swept me off my feet and began to swing me in circles, right there in the hall.
He was always romantic like that.
I was at every Quidditch practice (I promised not to steal tactics, of course) and talked to him at every possible moment. We studied together, spent free time in one another's company. It was if God wanted us to have every moment together that we possibly could before he took Cedric away.
His death hit me so hard.
Do you know how unbearable it was to look at his lifeless face and know that only hours ago I had kissed those cold, stiff lips and wished him good luck? It's the deepest pain I've ever known. Having to see his dead features that only moments ago had been so vivacious.
I've never blamed you. I know you think I do, but that's not the case. There's no way you could have predicted that the trophy was a portkey. You weren't the one who cast Avada Kedavra. No, you're completely innocent. I avoid you because you make me think of him, and how maybe I should move on. But I don't want to move on yet; to me he's still alive and waiting for me outside the Great Hall.
Though if I ever see You-Know-Who, that bastard better run like hell. Because he will face my wrath for what he did to the only boy I've ever loved.
Love? I don't think I've ever defined what I felt - and still feel - for Cedric as "love". But it may as well be true; he swept me off my feet, literally.
Cedric was a king among men.
I didn't write this letter to hurt you, and I hope you understand that. I wrote it because I had to ask you something very important.
Could you please stop staring at me? It hurts.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. So please, don't sue me.
A/N: This was written a little over two years ago, pre-fifth book. I wrote it late at night and it was riddled with spelling mistakes and typos (it was also pre-beta). Upon re-reading it, I decided to edit it. Anyway, now most of the glaring errors are gone and if any remain…well, that stinks, doesn't it?
I wrote this hoping to shed light on Cho's character. There was a lot of bias against her and that bothered me. So here you go. It's not relevant anymore, but I figure it's still a good read.
P.S. I'm in the market for a beta. Mine has disappeared. Interested? Send me an email.