"It's a miracle!" cried one of the Ensigns on the bridge.
Spock leaned back slightly in the captain's chair, confused as to how their ship had suddenly become controllable once again.
"There are no such things," he said, a slight sense of apprehension to his voice, as if he didn't want to know how the systems had come back online.
There was a tone from the communications system, followed by the chief engineer's voice echoing through the bridge.
"Engineering to bridge, Mr Spock?"
"Mr Scott?" Spock responded immediately, a lump starting to rise in his throat, he could tell that something was wrong with the way Scotty sounded.
"Sir. You'd better get down here, better hurry," he said, his voice sounding as though he was having trouble holding back his emotions.
Spock leapt up from the chair and sprinted from the room, passing Lieutenant Uhura on his way and barely even noticing her standing there.
It took less than a minute for Spock to reach engineering.
Scotty was standing near to the main warp-core reactor, his eyes red and upper lip trembling. He shook his head upon seeing Spock and looked at the ground, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.
Spock instinctively rushed to the reactor door and took a deep intake of breath at what he saw there.
"Open it," he ordered Scotty.
"The decontamination process is not complete; you'd flood the whole compartment. The door's locked, sir," he choked out.
Spock knelt on the floor beside the glass outer reactor door as inside the reactor, Jim Kirk managed to hit the button to close the inner door.
Slumped against the door, he coughed weakly and looked up at Spock. The two men stared at each other for a moment that felt like an eternity, piercing blue eyes meeting deep brown ones. Kirk gasped for air, his lungs starting to fail him.
"How's our ship?" he rasped to his First Officer.
"Out of danger," responded Spock, in a very human sounding voice much unlike his usual tone.
"You saved the crew," he added, yet more emotion in his words.
"You used what he wanted against him, that's a nice move," struggled out Kirk, eyes looking at Spock but not really seeing him. His strength was fading fast.
"It is what you would have done," replied Spock, his face moving slightly closer to the glass of the door, slightly closer to his Captain.
"And this," said Kirk, motioning to the reactor, "This is what you would have done. It was only logical."
The two men stared at each other for another long moment; Spock was struggling to control his emotions and could feel tears welling in his eyes.
"I'm scared Spock," whispered Jim. "Help me not to be."
Spock's usually stoic expression crumpled and he looked at the ground momentarily, tears beginning to fall, before looking back at his Captain.
"How do you choose not to feel?" questioned Jim, pain and panic in his eyes as the life started to leave his body.
Spock shook his head slightly "I do not know," he mumbled, his voice cracking as he spoke. "Right now I am failing."
Jim's face softened, tears welling in his own eyes.
Thoughts raced through Jim's dying mind. Spock was at his side in his final moments, crying for him. He hadn't cried at the death of his mother, or the destruction of his planet, but there he was, crying for him, James Tiberius Kirk.
It was time to tell him something he should have told him a long time ago.
"I want you to know why I couldn't let you die," Jim paused, gasping for breath. "Why I went back for you."
"Because you are my friend," said the Vulcan, tears still streaming down his face.
Jim stared long and hard into Spock's eyes, lungs rattling as they tried to draw a useful breath. Nothing seemed to work anymore, not his brain, not his lungs, not anything. He knew it was the end.
"Because I love you Spock, and I couldn't have lived without you, I love you," he whispered, a single tear escaping one of his impossibly blue eyes.
Spock blinked and his mouth fell open slightly, soundlessly.
All Jim wanted was to hear him say it in return. Using all his remaining strength he raised his hand to the glass, pressing it flat against the panel. Spock stared at him, still shocked by what Jim had just confessed. Jim's eyes slipped closed and he fought to get them open again.
Spock's hand pressed against the other side of the glass, fingers parting to form the three-pronged Vulcan salute.
Jim slowly slid his fingers down the glass to mirror Spock's slightly larger hand.
Spock's mouth opened and closed a few times, as if he was trying to say something but the words would not come to him.
Behind Spock Lieutenant Uhura entered the engineering deck, hands rising to cover her mouth and stifle her shocked gasp as she saw the situation unfolding before her, her Captain in the final moments of his life inside the warp reactor, Spock in tears at his side. A sob left her throat and Scotty pulled her into a hug, the two crew members just crying silently and holding each other.
Jim looked at his and Spock's hands pressed against the glass and gave the smallest of smiles before looking back up to Spock, coughing slightly.
Spock fought to keep his emotions controlled but he could feel himself falling to pieces.
The two men stared into each others eyes as Jim Kirk took his final breath, exhaling slowly and completely. Jim's eyes became slightly glassy, staring blankly forwards, his hand sliding off the glass door and falling limp at his side. Spock opened his mouth as if to say something, but there were no words, nothing left to say.
Spock looked down, unable to look at Jim's dead eyes. He withdrew his hand from its position on the door, anger and hatred for the man responsible for the death of his Captain bubbling up inside of him.
Fists clenched and eyes narrowed, Spock let out an unrestrained cry of rage unlike anything the other members of the crew in engineering had ever heard before.
Hi there! Thanks for reading :)
I'm new to writing for this fandom, so please bare with me whilst I get the characters right, I mean they should be reasonable as I'm a big trek fan, but I've just never written them before. Just to warn you now in case you can't already guess... this story IS slash and is rated M for a reason, so if you don't like it, please click the little 'x' in the top right corner of your browser now, I don't want to offend anybody!
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